Relationship that starts with sex on day 1

Ricky

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I had this debate with my brother one night.

He said "Any time I slept with a girl the first night I met her, the relationship never worked out".

His point was a girl you meet where she doesn't put out the first night may make a better dating partner.

Now my argument was that if I could get a girl into bed the first night and do a good job, the pressure was off as far as dating was concerned and we could hangout and have a good time without worrying about the first kiss, awkwardness, etc.

What do you think?

Is there really a difference between a relationship started by sex the first night vs one that wasn't?
 

TooColdUlrick

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well, if you think about it NO relationships actually work out!

if i think a chick has good potential for an LTR, i will try my best to put off sex for as long as possible. other things, making out, grinding, petting, etc...sure.
 

Dark Nimbus

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I discuss this topic with my friends and we usually come to the same conclusion. We do what we can to get laid as soon as possible with a chick, but if she puts out on the first date she loses a lot of respect and the chase is gone. As much as I want to get laid sometimes, I actually like having to wait and work for it a bit, otherwise I get bored and lose interest in the girl.

To answer your question, yeah you can start an LTR even after you sleep with the chick the first night, but do you really want an LTR with a girl like this? When something's that easy to get, it loses its value. The same goes for us guys. If you don't make her work a bit for your attention and to keep you, she'll never really feel like she lost anything if you break up some day.
 

MichaelangelloB

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Pressure and awkwardness are what make relationships fun in the begining. I agree with the others, the chase is what makes things exciting. Plus if all she's looking for is sex, which if she gives it up the first night then she probably is, then it's hard to believe that she's looking for a LTR, and not just a good time.

Girls who are looking for soul mates want things to be special, and there's no way sex can be that special and meaningful after the first dinner and a movie.

If she is a nice girl and she does give it up, then she'll most likely lose respect for herself and feel bad, and thats no way to start a LTR.
 

DJoystick DJango

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WHAT ARE YOU REALLY AFTER ?

MICHEALANGELOB - You seriously need to recalibrate your "universal truths". You sound brain-washed about a romantic ideal You sound like such a "sweet" boy.! NOT VERY DJ !!!
... there's no way sex can be that special and meaningful after the first dinner and a movie.
...and she does give it up, then she'll most likely lose respect for herself
... thats no way to start a LTR
You have obviously not been around that many, have you now?

That was too sad not to comment, NOW TO THE ISSUE AT HAND





What is ones purpose of dating ?

If doing it just for fun/entertainment, then by all means - enjoy the chase if that is what you are after. If its the touch-down you so prize - the go for the score ! (The more the better).

If dating for you, is a way of gauging her future potential, then do your self a favor and conciously know what you are looking for. Sit down and make an objective list of what you want in YOUR woman, and why ! (The keyword here as i see it, is "YOUR" woman, as opposed to "A" woman.)

Dont kid yourself ! MOST people i know simply have no clue what they want. They date blindly (pun very intended) and somehow or other expect to hear a "pling" or see the "light" when they finaly are with that "special-one".

Waiting to know for sure - that she is the ONE !
Waiting for the hunt to finally be over, so they dont have to be uncomfortable out there on the market.
Waiting to feel just right.

The logic comes round and bites your b*tt. Going into a LTR based soly upon feelings is doomed waiting to happen as soon as she(or you) stop feeling it as much as you "used" to feel.

If the only thing the LTR had going for it was your feelings, then there is nothing else to keep it going. Kids/pets/house and such WILL NOT MATTER to her when you reach that point.

If you absolutly must give up your rights, to get any and all the p*ssy you want, for this one LTR - G*d d*mn I hope she is worth it.

One of the very top most priorities on my own "potential score card" is not only does she have to be a good f*ck. Nope ! She has to be a GREAT f*ck ! If I'm to exclude my self from the market I need to be 100% sure that i am not loosing (all that p*tting-out !

H*ll, - she must also be able to cook well, not have any hangups about hauling her share of the dough home. I expect her to love cleaning house and the list goes on.

If she has hangups about s*x on the first date, she probably isnt that great of a f*ck anyway. (Yet I still do make sure to find that out for certain :D )

If you think you need to "fall-in-love" with her to have great s*x then its you that has a problem. You better practice some more before you find "her" or she WILL leave you sometime in the future, weather you did or did not, wait to s*x her on the first date !
 

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MichaelangelloB

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?????

MICHEALANGELOB - You seriously need to recalibrate your "universal truths". You sound brain-washed about a romantic ideal You sound like such a "sweet" boy.! NOT VERY DJ !!!


I couldn't really find much in that post about the topic. I'm of the opinion, as I'm sure are most guys, that it's hard to respect a girl who gives it up at the drop of a hat after one trip to Olive Garden.


Hay, it be nice if all girls were that easy if you're a guy just lookin for booty. I was under the impression that the guy was askin if tricks who put out the first night make good "relationship girls." I'm sayin they don't because you can't respect them, and I wouldn't be able to trust them.


And I am a sweet guy, that's why the chicks dig me playa. ;)
 

DJoystick DJango

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I beg to differ !

Being ultimate - is getting what YOU yourself want for you !

I do actually state multiple options i my post

1.- looking for good love
2.- looking for good sex
3.- looking for both. !!!

It is not a fact - it is just a belief you choose to have - that girls who "put-out-easy" are no good for LTR.

So somebody please tell me exactly how long i must wait to p*ke a girl i have met before she wont be a slut. G*d forbid, that a DJ makes the girl want him too quickly.

Its a pity - Some of you actually still choose to belive that girls dont want sex as much as we do ? You just have to make her justify it to herself - and out the window goes her own slut-objection (and her thong :D).

Getting a girl to "put-out" is a skill. You only need to make her feel right about it, - and then she WILL do it.

You have the obligation to make her feel right !




Now - to Clarify my point and standing on the ISSUE !

Who is better for LTR

No two women are the same
No two relationships are the same
No one can have 2 "first dates" with the same woman !
so no one can tell if a relationship with a woman will be better if you s*x the first date or not because no one has that option - at all !
so it boils down to the woman - not when first s*x !


which is why we all should focus more on what we want in th woman.

If you want a force your self on a virgin on your weddingnight and expect to get p*rnstar experience out of it - you are only kidding yourself. I have never heard of a good relationship where the sex was bad ! - have you ? So why not find out as soon as posible. - before you fall in love and get too blinded to see that you have short changed yourself.

Once you fall - and fall most boys will ... you will put up with her **** ! Now that is a fact ! ... and 10 years later ...

Dont say you nobody told you.


Now some of you boys ! need to ... get the f*ck out of mature mans forum ... Get !
 

DJoystick DJango

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Apples and Oranges !!!

Take in mind that great s*x is not the only thing on my list - but is very high on up it ...



If you have never had really really great s*x, then talking about what great s*x is makes this a theoretical debat !

Remember the diference between having a w**dy and your very first *jaculation (Talking about timewarp here !) Now try describing the feeling of *jculation to your 7 year old cousin who only knows a w**dy at the pool. (No way will the kid ever be able to relate ! Just can not be done)

Remember the diference between fingering her and actualy getting to put it in the very first time ? (Heck you where 10 feet tall !!!) Now try describing pl*ndging your c*ck into her p*ssy to a 15 year old virgin freind of yours. - He just wont get it - really. He might grin a lot and think he knows what you are saying.

Trust me, and I know you can vouch for this. The virgins have no clue what the are missing out, or else the would try harder.

You get my drift !

I cant describe to you poor s*ns*fb*tch*s what it is like to have A REALLY GREAT F*CK if all you ever have had is just s*x . Sorry but if i could - I would be a professional writter and own the bank.

I'm guessing you are going to see a couple of headnods posted here by older - mature - experinced - men - that have tried this manna-from-heaven-angels-singing-haleluja-give-me-an-amen-brothers-oooooh-jaaaaaaah great s*x.

Do not underestimate the importence of s*x in a good LTR !



Heck- its like the killer-klub ... members only. Until youself have taken another life face to face - you wil not know what its like to kill another human being. Cops, Soldier, murderes - they can tell you about it - you may see movies or the news - but you will not know! not even the guys that flew the plane with the atomic bomb on Nippon. They know the kille alot of japanese, but the dont know what it is to take anothers life. - Morbid, yes - but thats the best I can do to convince you what its like.

I really do sincerly wish all yDJs attain great s*x, might entail educating your woman abit.
 
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MichaelangelloB

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Nobody's debateing whether or not good sex is an important part of a LTR, or whether or not great sex is great. It is.

The point is that girls who f**k on the fist night are *****s or at least trick-ish, and tricks don't make good girlfriends. That's it.

C'mon man.
 

DJoystick DJango

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Originally posted by MichaelangelloB
The point is that girls who f**k on the fist night are *****s or at least trick-ish, and tricks don't make good girlfriends. That's it.
Come off it BOY !

As soon as you write "it is a belief you choose" and thus accepting that "it is not a fact you know" Just state that YOU PERSONALY DO NOT repect girls that put out day one ! Because this actually tells us alot about YOU as a person and that you might not be very good at it. DONT you tell me that all my girlfreinds are not good because I KNOW for a FACT just exactly how much DJ skill and finess I have to use to get them speading.

Trust me on this - YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WETHER SHE IS EASY OR YOU ARE GOOD ! YOU WILL ONLY EVER KNOW IF WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS WORKING OR NOT ! - So take care that you dont learn too much here on the forum.

... Once upon a time actually not so long ago, the rule used to be girls who f*ck before their wedding were ....

Now is it ok for her to wait f*cking you until the next morning, or will past midnight do ? because i often come home from clubs/dates with a girl just before sunrise ?

You see were you are at ?

To stay on the same page, please also define what you mean by TR*CK ? this will be a good place to do so http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=58740


--------------------------------
The problem with knowledge is that the ignorant are so rock sure and the wise, question every thing -
 
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OzzyBoy

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Nope that aint me, i'm waiting at least a month or two, perhaps even longer cause i dont wanna stuff things up. :D
 
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DJoystick DJango

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Re: Re: Now isn't that a SLUTTY reply ?

Originally posted by MetalFortress
... quit trying to convince everyone else to be a slut lover
oh ... so - expressing opinions = convincing others ?

Make sure you never read a real newspaper og book for that matter. I hope you dont feel presure every time somebody states an opinion youself dont subscribe to. Heck ... I can see that as being as crazy or even worse than paranoid. Stop chaseing me everybody. I know every body is out to get me ... I just know it ... LOL ROTF LOL - Some guys jusck crack me up - LVL

You are welcome to accept ANY views OR NOT !

I guesing you feel pressure because some of the inconsisency of your logic has been unsurfaced. Keep your belief if you want. I simply could not care any less.

I do though, really enjoy seeing how some people will go out of their way to defend themselves even if they never were attacked in the first place. That my boy ... is insecurity .. not very DJ :cool:
 

MichaelangelloB

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Re: Re: Re: Now isn't that a SLUTTY reply ?

I guesing you feel pressure because some of the inconsisency of your logic has been unsurfaced. Keep your belief if you want. I simply could not care any less.


Most of your replies have been in defense of your point which really has nothing to do with the topic.
 

Survivor

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Originally posted by MichaelangelloB
Nobody's debateing whether or not good sex is an important part of a LTR, or whether or not great sex is great. It is.

The point is that girls who f**k on the fist night are *****s or at least trick-ish, and tricks don't make good girlfriends. That's it.

C'mon man.
Its not that simple, kid. If it was I would have moved this thread a long time ago.

IMO, these are the underlying issues;

1. Should sex on a first date be a considered an indication of a person's character?My opinion? Depends.

2. Is there any difference between a 16 year old girl that puts out on the first date and a 36 year old woman that does the same? My opinion? Yes.

3. Is sexual promiscuity an indicator of future infidelity?My opinion? No. ANYONE regardless of values or lifestyle is capable of cheating (or for that matter, remaining faithful). Such is the risk of being in an LTR/marriage. Understand the risk before taking such a step.
 

ER!C L!VE

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Gotta love the kids. Things are either black or white with them.

Man, I wish the kids would stop posting in this forum.
 

WestCoaster

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This threw me at a young age as I used to think in black and white, too.

My first gf, who professed to be this holier-than-thou Christian, cheated on me.

I thought I shouldn't go out with so-called "wild women" who have been around the block, that they would cheat or something. When I did go out with some care-free, so-called wild women, they were WAY more loyal than the bible thumpers, and did not cheat. Not sure why, perhaps it's because they were more comfortable with their sexuality, it wasn't some big mystery to them. It's still kind of a paradox, but my friends had the same experience. The wild women, who were open to talking about sex and had a "background" in it, were loyal like no tomorrow and did not cheat.

Years later after college, dated another gal -- a so-called Christian, holier-than-thou -- yep, she cheated on me, too.

So my answer is I have no answer. I'd prefer a woman not give it up so early, but it's not an indication of future togetherness or happiness.

I do know that I prefer not to date religious women anymore.
 
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