Reaching Inner Peace... Is it worth it?

Roots

Don Juan
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After reading the post by Brazilian_Blues_Boy and some others, I figure the topic of Zen and soforth is an interesting one at that. A while ago I started learning the principles, the thought, the process, and all these other things pertaining to a Zen-type mindset.

The bible teaches you a lot of things that get girls off your mind. One of my questions is: Do you want them off your mind completely? Cuz i dunno how it is for you guyz, but sometimes when I think about some girls it kinda makes me feel good. I'm thinking, if I don't think of them at all, I won't "feel good" anymore, I'll just be completely indifferent. Is that good??

I'd like anyone who has managed to reach some form of "Inner Peace" to explain to me how they deal in life. Do you actually almost not think? And do you feel better off for it?

I'd also like to hear from anyone that can contribute their opinion on totally quieting your thoughts. Basically, what do you get out of it, and how does it affect you? Also is there anyone that can say: "I never think of girls, I just do stuff"?

Well, thanks in advance.
 
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Smooth as Anything

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Men think about women every 5.3 seconds (supposedly). Stop fighting it, especially if your in high-school and your hormones are raging.

Read my first mental examination. The idea is to not over anylze women, like, does she like me? What did that mean? Do you think she meant anything when she said this?

Inner-peace? Just get a girl, man.
 

Brazilian_Blues_Boy

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Well Roots, let me tell what I have found and what gave me piece.

Men need women.

Period.

It's our instinct, mother nature wants us to mate and to survive.
This need, is not easy to control. Only real monks manage to do it through meditation.

But, we are rational too, and we don't live 24/7 by our instincts.
This instinct is what drives us to mating, having pleasure and keeping our species alive.

And this instinct can be used to motivate us, to push us forward and towards our goal. (Getting laid)

But, we are rational beings. And we have psychological needs too.
Since little kids, we watch couples going hand in hand, we go to marriages, we see movies and tv shows showing people looking for girls, only happy after getting girls.

Our society and our culture builds inside our head, this AFC persona who needs to find a true unconditional love, that is generally platonic, where you have to shower the lady with attention, gifts, wait patiently for her to break up with the jerk and then finally realize that we are better, than we wait for 6 months and she decides to have sex with us.

We create a very powerful anchor that links girls to all the struggle and war with ourselves, so we have this need.

We need girls to be happy, we don't know why, but we do. We fight our logic using sex and body contact as arguments.

I noticed... this psychological need... it was only in my head.
If we lived in an isolated island where the society was made of DJs, we wouldn't have this need.

After some positive thinking and some NLP, I got rid of it.

I do think of girls, a lot. But I don't feel like mental masturbating myself everytime.
When I think of a girl, I don't make porn movies anymore.
And that makes me calm.

I know that eventually, I'll have to get one to satisfy my instincts, but my rationality doesn't need a girl to be completed.

When I think about things like NLP, soccer or playing the guitar, I do feel that rush, that need to improve, study and play more.
I feel good, knowing that even if I can't do any of those now, soon I will, and these mean a lot more to me psychologically than being with women.

I'm not too rushed to meet new women, I know that when the times comes and oportunities appear I'll take them, as I'm already taking some.
And I also know that when I get back to school, I'll be way more relaxed and laid back, when dealing with girls. This is what I need the train my SS skills.

I don't, 1 month ago, I would look at the computer and think:

"Will X be online today? Gosh, I have to call Y at like, 3 o' clock tomorrow. Should I go for ice cream or for the movies? Man, me and my buddies need to find a good party to go to... I need them to get me more dates... "

I was living for getting women! It's very hard to go out everyday and meet new women when you're 17, don't drive and don't have much money.
And here things like mall/streets pick-ups are as rare as being struck by lightning twice at the same place.

I'm not creating excuses. I do go out sometimes, I do meet new women, but I don't base my happiness around that.
I make my mind busy with other things like music, my books, and my body busy with guitar playing, soccer playing, resting and walking.

I see many people here and everywhere eager to defend their opinions, to make big deals out of small things just to feel better, to somehow 'win'. Like they say, arguing over the internet is like running at the special olympics. Even if you win, you're still a retarded person.

What's the point of arguing? Yelling ?
What ?
What's the point of trying to change things that can't be changed, to stress about things that you can't affect ?

What's the point of arguing about politics, about what country is the best and what is the worst, about the sh!t that your government does, or that other governments do ??

What's the point of talking about other people's lives, other people's faults and mistakes ??

We spend much time and worry arguing... talking, when talking leads to nothing.

Now, think with me, who's a better person, one that complains all month long about the government who doesn't help the starving people in the corners, or the person who stays quiet all month long, and gives some food and money to a person by the end of the month ?

Why instead of complaining that the dishes are dirty, you just go there and clean them ?

Much of our suffering, our anguish, our anxiety, is cause by our words, our talking mouths that only talk talk talk but don't do anything good. And think they're smart for that.

Imagine two guys, who in the very first day of this year, commited to getting laid this year. To get at least one woman...
Now, Guy 1 only talks talks and talks about how much he wants a girlfriend, so he can try all the positions he saw in the porn movies, while Guy 2 discovers sosuave.com and starts to change himself as a whole, into manhood.

Now, think that circumstances were not good and they ended the year without getting laid.
Who will be happier ?
Who will be more prepared and relaxed for when his time finally comes?

Guy 2 of course !!

Why? He found his own happiness, his knows his goals, he knows the man he wants to be, while Guy 1 wants to find a nice green-eyed brown haired girl to do doggie-style.

Martin Luther King did not get his cause recognized by the world only speaking and then sitting around waiting. He made things happen. He went to political places, to factories, he got beaten, he suffered, he was humiliated, but he fought towards his goal, and changed the life of millions through action and not through words.

For me, having Inner Peace, is knowing that, I won't probably see a good looking girl within the next days, and that won't make me sad. I'll do plenty of other things that I like and that give me happiness. And when some girl appears, I won't rush things, because I have plenty of time in my life, and things done in a hurry aren't usually efficient. And girls love to be around calm, easy guys, who are in it for fun and not in a deathly countdown to sex or next.

Everything in your life depends on the point of view you're choosing.
Look for a Zen tale of the farmer, and his maybes. What is good for some is bad for others.

Maybe, the chick flaking and you being alone at the date is bad, but then you can go anywhere else and meet that old girl-friend of yours, who has the most gorgeous friends ever. And they invite you to do things with them :)D double-meanings here).
Maybe the night will end up better than it would with the flakey lady.

Only time can tell if things were good or bad, so don't worry much about things you cannot change.

Please, don't understand Inner Peace as an excuse for laziness, this is not what I meant. I found peace of mind in a place where the most familiar person to me among 70 people was a guy I knew superficially for less than a month.

It was socialize or die. And I socialized, everyone saw me as a cool, extroverted guy.

Finally, I'll put the lyrics of a Rush song that pretty much sums everything I tried to say to you. If you can, listen to it, it's a wonderful song, it has peace of mind in itself.

Rush - Resist

Words by Neil Peart, Music by Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson

I can learn to resist
Anything but temptation
I can learn to co-exist
With anything but pain

I can learn to compromise
Anything but my desires
I can learn to get along
With all the things I can't explain

I can learn to resist
Anything but frustration
I can learn to persist
With anything but aiming low

I can learn to close my eyes
To anything but injustice
I can learn to get along
With all the things I don't know

You can surrender
Without a prayer
But never really pray
Pray without surrender

You can fight
Without ever winning
But never ever win
Without a fight

Well, hope I shed some light for you, but the moonlight, and the sun bright you'll have to find on your own.

BBB
 

Kwah

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Inner Peace means being comfortable with yourself and not needing to prove anything. Im not quite there but getting very close, and let me tell you. The more relaxed your outlook on life the happier you will be.
 
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