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Reach out or let it go

oc16

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I was involved with a co-worker last year (same organization, but not same location--so we don't see each other alot at all).

The whole thing lasted 6 weeks and I feel I was used as a rebound. The whole thing kind of just fizzled out and she kind of went ghost on me without explanation. Needless to say, I would of liked to have gotten to known her better and I never got closure. Due to the fact that we are co-workers technically I didn't ask for an explanation from her; I just let it go. However, it still bothers me until this day. She even has a new b/f who I am a much better catch than (IMHO). LOL

I decided to unfriend her on facebook and Linkedin a couple of weeks ago, but then deactivated both accounts to sort of save face. I realized, getting rid of linkedin was a mistake so I set up a new account. I started reconnecting with people and I sent her an invitation. She blocked me from linkedin, since now I cannot even see her profile.

Part of me wants to reach out to her, not to be angry with her just tell her how I feel (that I felt used), but I don't want things to be like this and maybe we can be on good terms since she is cool and a colleague.

I don't know, do I reach out or just let it go? This is something I should of done 10 months ago.
 

Murk

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First things first, linked in is a professional tool, my pic is with me with a suit, tie, pocket square etc. Never let a female or anyone, infringe on your business. You've fvcked up on rule one by letting this female impact your business.

I'll supersede marmel and tell you to spin plates right off the bat. This girl has you in oneitis mode. No good. There are plenty of women out there bro. Fvck all the friend unfriend BS - you need a women, multiple if possible, to get your head straight. If she was into you she would have made that clear. Gaming girls isn't an obstacle course, it's a shooting range, they line up and you take them down. If you, or anyone, is not experiencing that then there's something wrong.

Let her go and for the love of God man, spin plates. We are not stalkers, they stalk us.
 

oc16

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I hear what you are saying, but perhaps she knows I unfriended her on facebook. I kind of feel like a coward for doing so without explanation. I think explaining how I feel will also give me some sort of closure.
 

Murk

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Too much thinking bro. Do you know why the seemingly stupid jocks bang the bitches? Women are not thinking creatures like you and me, men (smart men) will over analyse. Chad will plough straight through **** in hand and slay. I learned this lesson at 17 years old, combine intelligence with boldness, it's not hard, infact it's the making of a man, but do this and you will conquer all.
 

upcoming_DJ

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I believe you are too late to the game. The best you could have done was walk away and never look back - unless she reaches out first! I'm learning this with my red pill conditioning. I use to be the type who chased all I could until eventually i ended up as a stalker or a creepy ******* - never want to look back at those days, they are DARK. and never will I do that again.
 

resilient

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OP, do yourself a favor and do the following:

1. Think of all of those things you want to say to her for closure and pen them down to paper or keyboard in a private word document. Whatever it takes to purge the feelings that linger for her. I've done that with ex plates/gfs and that helped tremendously. I acted as if I were going to drop that in an email. The catch? I never go through that action. The writing is purely a form of catharsis you need. Like medicine for the soul.

2. Text/email or call your best friend and ask to get a beer with him or a bite to eat and tell him everything you would tell her. Best friends have good insights, especially if they have known you a long time. Even better if you have an older mentor who you respect who has significant life experience.

3. Return to your hobbies, gym, social circle, education, career, etc. to keep busy and your mind preoccupied off this person.

4. Meditate and deep breathing. If you're a spiritual person, pray for peace and calmness of mind.

5. Spin plates when you're feeling better and in control of your inner game.
 

CamCam

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I believe you are too late to the game. The best you could have done was walk away and never look back - unless she reaches out first! I'm learning this with my red pill conditioning. I use to be the type who chased all I could until eventually i ended up as a stalker or a creepy ******* - never want to look back at those days, they are DARK. and never will I do that again.
Yeah same here; I've done the exact same thing and I cringe every unfortunate time that memory flashes across my brain. I felt so pathetic! If I were OP, I would say to myself; "I should have walked away proud, the unfriending re-friending was weak, but the damage is done, and I'm going to move on and spin those goddamned plates all the more!"

You're not the only one OP, I've done worse! Get this; I was together with a girl for about a year. She was crazy about me in the beginning, but I slowly became needy, and she became busier and busier at work. I became super jealous, clingy, weak, pouty. She wouldn't break up with me for some reason, but she should have. I ended up breaking up with her, but for months afterwards I stalked her FB page and hoped to bump in to her places we used to go. I had every excuse, could explain away every behavior - but it was me, I lost my frame, and should have accepted that and moved on.

You damaged your ego, but you didn't destroy it, take action. You won't even want to spin any plates, but do it anyways. Doesn't matter who, take a 5 out, hell even a 4. Who cares, just keep moving
 

upcoming_DJ

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Yeah same here; I've done the exact same thing and I cringe every unfortunate time that memory flashes across my brain. I felt so pathetic! If I were OP, I would say to myself; "I should have walked away proud, the unfriending re-friending was weak, but the damage is done, and I'm going to move on and spin those goddamned plates all the more!"

You're not the only one OP, I've done worse! Get this; I was together with a girl for about a year. She was crazy about me in the beginning, but I slowly became needy, and she became busier and busier at work. I became super jealous, clingy, weak, pouty. She wouldn't break up with me for some reason, but she should have. I ended up breaking up with her, but for months afterwards I stalked her FB page and hoped to bump in to her places we used to go. I had every excuse, could explain away every behavior - but it was me, I lost my frame, and should have accepted that and moved on.

You damaged your ego, but you didn't destroy it, take action. You won't even want to spin any plates, but do it anyways. Doesn't matter who, take a 5 out, hell even a 4. Who cares, just keep moving
Easiest way I've found to get back on track is GET ON YOUR MISSION/PURPOSE - this alone will re-energize, inspire and motivate you! When you are focused on this, you have a WHY to your everyday!

one-itis is basically making the woman the priority. when she should be with you as a side effect of your life/frame/mission - women love opportunistically, men love idealistically. I had to re-read this about 15 times in the last month. I am finally breaking free from what is fast becoming a one-itis for me right now. and she is taking note because she is seeing how I am moving and I am sure she is nervous. I sense it in her behavior at the moment.

take note; this was after her running hot & cold and me basically maintaining my cool, frame, and showing her I am well and fine with or without her. Why? I am back on my mission & purpose and guess what? now other women are beginning to take note and I am getting inboxed again etc. ... you know what this does to a hamster? read heartiste or rollo ...
 

CamCam

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Easiest way I've found to get back on track is GET ON YOUR MISSION/PURPOSE - this alone will re-energize, inspire and motivate you! When you are focused on this, you have a WHY to your everyday!

one-itis is basically making the woman the priority. when she should be with you as a side effect of your life/frame/mission - women love opportunistically, men love idealistically. I had to re-read this about 15 times in the last month. I am finally breaking free from what is fast becoming a one-itis for me right now. and she is taking note because she is seeing how I am moving and I am sure she is nervous. I sense it in her behavior at the moment.

take note; this was after her running hot & cold and me basically maintaining my cool, frame, and showing her I am well and fine with or without her. Why? I am back on my mission & purpose and guess what? now other women are beginning to take note and I am getting inboxed again etc. ... you know what this does to a hamster? read heartiste or rollo ...
It makes them desperately want you back ;)
 

Murk

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Too much thinking! Live, breathe, experience.
 

Spaz

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I think explaining how I feel will also give me some sort of closure.
Don't think. This is weak shiet that women in general hates and would be automatically turned off. Worst yet, they'll even spread ur messages around the office just to show what a loser u r and they gain girl-points among the females.

Just move on.

And hv some dignity for gods sake.
 
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