Re-learning the importance of leading

TOneThousand

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Lately I've been working on leading women and escalation habits a lot. I hadn't been doing either of these enough and was not assertive enough etc.

I've had two experiences with this topic over the last week. One that worked out not good, the other I handled better and worked out well.

Situation 1 (not good results): Met a woman at a friend's party, was introduced to her and we had steady back and forth conversation from the start. Got into some limited kino and she was touching me back and laughing at my comments. This woman was my friend's neighbor and made the comment of "I can't believe I haven't met you before" to me a few times. We talk for a while, asking about each other. I break off and go talk to other people. A little later I start conversation with her again. She'd clearly been drinking for much of the night and was in a have fun mood (she told me that more than once). We talk for a bit and she tells me she has to go to her apartment across the street to get something. She says she'll be back in a minute. It was late at that point but she never came back from her apartment

No big deal but feels like a missed opportunity here that I should have at least suggested that I'd walk over to her apartment with her. Could have been an escalation window and would have been worth at least walking over with her. Just wasn't focused on escalating at that moment, which obviously you need to always be thinking about escalating when you're at a party late and people are drinking. So lesson there is to keep that in mind whenever a girl says she's going somewhere else

Situation 2 (good results): In a more or less similar situation last week, was out with a social group and got flirty with a girl I don't know well. End of the night she's talking to me and figuring out how she's going to get home. I tell her "it's not far, I'll walk back with you." She asks if I'm sure and I said "yeah it's an easy walk. I'll walk you back". I was teasing her a lot on the walk back. We ended up having sex/sleeping together

The next day we bullsh!tted for a while and talked about hanging out again, she initiated texting with me that day. The following day I texted her and we had some back and forth, she responded enthusiastically. A few days later her text responses seemed more passive (still positive responses but passive) so I haven't texted her for a few days. Next time I message her I'll suggest setting up a meeting

Anyway what I take from this is I have to always be ready for logistics changes and in these cases when the girl is ready to leave, be ready to accompany her. In the second case that led to escalating. In the first case it could have at least kept things going and would have been no loss to try and see

Cheers!
 

Chow Mein

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I’m having the pleasure of the first response :D

Many posters will analyze the scenarios and provide their ‘advice’ or feedback. It’s not how it works with women.

A don’t give a fvck and onto the next attitude will be my response to types of threads like this.

Try it, 100% money back guarantee or you get both your testicles back
 

Agamemnon43

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Always better to try to initiate then to regret being passive. It's easier to step back and apologize if she suddenly panicks. At least you will still be on her mind if nothing happens- "hmm, what if.."
 

TOneThousand

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Always better to try to initiate then to regret being passive. It's easier to step back and apologize if she suddenly panicks. At least you will still be on her mind if nothing happens- "hmm, what if.."
The way you phrased this is excellent. Basically just remember if she pulls back, it's no big deal and not something to worry about. Always initiate and be fine with whatever the result is
 

BackInTheGame78

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A lot of the problem stems from not being ready or prepared to close when the opportunity arises and many times it will arise far sooner than you expect it to in those situations.

Need to be quick on your feet and agile, ready to shift gears quickly.
 

TOneThousand

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A lot of the problem stems from not being ready or prepared to close when the opportunity arises and many times it will arise far sooner than you expect it to in those situations.

Need to be quick on your feet and agile, ready to shift gears quickly.
Yes. No question you have to be ready to go and ready to shift gears. Honestly the key for me is to have canned escalation routines ready to go at all times. Like "hey let's go back to my place cause I have..." or "hey let's go to xyz cause I'm starving" etc
 
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