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Pulse Procedure: Basic Convo.

pulse

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Imagine if every time you talked to a girl, she told you EXACTLY what to say to her, what to ask her, and how you should respond to her questions.
If you were to have this ability, wouldn't it make any approach a piece of cake?

Lot's of people have been messaging me on AIM (silentjohn) or posting about conversation. People wondering about every detail of a conversation, hoping they can devise a plan worthy of Don Juan standards.

Everything from when should kino be used, to what kind of questions to ask, to intricate, yet meaningless details like when they should smile or how they should laugh.

All of this planning might help, considered everything runs perfectly. But in order to become truly great at conversation you must increase your ability to work on the spot.

With that in mind, here is a basic outline to get you going on the structure and base of pickup convo.
----

The first step to good convo, is being observant. Notice what your target is wearing. Is she wearing any jewlery? Is there something about her hair you find interesting? What is the first genuine unique quality you can compliment them on that springs to mind?

The second step, is to mention something about what you noticed... a great example I use all the time is "Hey, that's an interesting <object>, where did you get it?"

This opener get's them talking about themselves and also gives you lots of info to work with. Let's disect a typical response.

"Oh, well, my parents gave it to me on my 16th birthday, I really like it"

You can now relate the information she gave you to a broader subject.

"Yeah, I like how it accents your wrist, so did you have a big party on your 16th birthday or what?"

Notice how the subject was linked to a larger topic, which in turn will open up even more to talk about. Continuing the example:

her: "Well, it was an alright party..."
you: "Oh, well if you were to have your ideal party, what would it be like?"

Notice how this response got the target to use her imagination. This is the key that will pump the don juan factor you present. Rather than relaying facts, you are getting your target to imagine the ultimate party, you can then follow up with your own input.

"Haha, damn that does sound like a badass party, you definately sound like someone I should get to know better...I would have had my party outside though..I like doing stuff outdoors"

This will get her asking about why.. and here is your chance to really boost the mystery factor. The key to this is to avoid directly answering the question at all costs. Continuing with our example:

Her: well what do you like to do outside?
you: Well.. you know that real refreshing feeling you get from being outside? That nice organic healthy warm feeling you get when you're out and enjoying the nice weather? I think that alone is worth it...what about you? What's your favorite time to be outside?"

Yet again, this allowed her imagination to get going. It also added to your mystery. She knows WHY you enjoy being outside, and got to imagine those nice warm feelings for herself, but she didn't get to find out WHAT you do outside...

This type of convo can be carried from nearly anything, you just have to pay attention to whats being said. You can also use the information she gives you later on, to describe YOUR favorite food/weather/whatever you talk about... But you get to use her descriptave words, which will really boost the rapport between the two of you.

There are 3 major types of people. Visual, Audio, and Kinesthetic... Pay attention when your target is describing the objects from her wildest dreams, notice what kind of words shes using to describe it all. An example of a visual person might be "..yeah.. and you can just see the perfect sunset between the most beautiful mountains.." Or a primarly kinesthetic person might say "there is a nice gentle breeze, not cold.. but warm, and the sunshine feels great." And of course an aural person might respond with "Yeah.. you can hear the birds in the distance.."

Those are major clues you can rememmber to use when describing things to them. It isn't always that dramatic though, you should also pay attention to their normal small talk. Someone who always says "you see what im saying?" Is a visual person, and you now know how to get their juices flowing when you describe the ultimate adventure, or etc.

As far as kinesthetics go.. (kino) It should be used wherever you feel natural, but be sure and test them with it. Invade their space. Slowly at first, such as arm pats.. then work to arm strokes and so on.


Once you have these basic outlines to work from, convo is easier than a $5 dollar *****.

Remember, open with something about them, get them talking... then get their imagination going... Make sure and input, but keep the mystery up.

Ways of keeping yourself mysterious are also just as easy. A major way to do this is just talk about mysterious things. Branch off into the unknown.. an example following our birthday convo might be "Oh, so are you into astrology at all?" From that you can branch to lesser known forms of astrology, like the chinese zodiac, or numerology, just think "more mysterious" than the basic subject of convo.

So now that I've described an example of convo, and how it works, I'll break it down into a simple easy to follow outline.

observe
1.accessories
2.clothing
3.general body language (very usefull)

act
1.ask about what you noticed
2.pay attention to response, inform WHY you asked about what you observed (this MUST be sincere)

imagine
1.Branch into a subject, but use their imagination to your advantage. Their wildest dreams are greater than anything you can describe. Use openers like "Imagine if..." or "If you were to.." This get's them thinking about it... notice how I started this guide?
2.Guide their imagination by remaining mysterious. Answer nothing directly. Tease them with your information, let them wonder...

deny
1.Now that you have them dripping in creativity and wonderment, focusing on their dreams and thinking up amazing things about you thanks to your mysterious responses.. it's time to close it off while it's still hot.

You want to bring them to a "peak" then break off, making them want more of your conversation. This of course, will build challenge, which is a HUGE advantage.

an example:

you: well it's been great talking to you.. what was your name?
her: I am Xena, warrior princess...

From here you have some options..
1. Number close
2. Meeting close
3. Mystery close

I reccomend option 1 or 2, unless you are SURE you will see this person again.

The mystery close is just what it says, leaving in mystery. an example:

you: "well i've had lots of fun talking to you but i'm running a little late, what was your name?"
her: I am xena, warrior princess
you: Cool, well I'll [see you around/talk to you later/run into you later.(use the according response based on what type of person they are, as mentioned earlier)]

Notice you didn't offer your name. Always try and get THEM to ask for your name. And if since this is the mystery close, the less she knows the better... more imagination for her brain to chew on.

I'll cover the other methods of closing in another article, as this one is getting kind of lengthy. Any input is appreciated and I hope my method helps you out.

(this was originally posted in highschool forum, but I felt it was pretty universal.)



------------------
"Always leave them wanting more."
 

DJTOBE

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Good Post,
I've been reading an intro to NLP and I see you use similiar techniques. Did you also read up on this and if so to what extent?
 

pulse

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I've been researching NLP and such since about 10th grade.. (I graduate highschool tomorrow, woot!) And yes, I've found certain techniques to work really well, such as weasle phrases and what not.

------------------
"Always leave them wanting more."
 

bfl

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i think that that's a perfect example of "trees have branches" or " the dribble" as i call it.
That's listening to everything that she says and then just keep the conversation going based in her response.
Example:
you: hey that's an interesting object where did u get it?
her: o well my parents gave it to me on my 16th bday i really like it.
NOW HERE COMES "THE DRIBBLE"
you: yeah i like how it accents your wrist so did you have a big party on your 16th birthday or what?

See you just keep "dribbling" on and on till you get her number.
Nice job pulse.

------------------
be safe moneyy
 

afterbuzz

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good post. I spit my water all over the screen when i read "i am xena warrior princess"
 

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homedog893

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i'm just wondering...what if u can't think of any open-ended questions to ask? like a brick wall....? cuz i just started (as u can tell from the number of posts):confused:
 

pulse

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hmmm

That means you just need more practice... or you could say "talk to you later"


Try being open-ended with EVERYONE.
 

Ricky

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This is pretty neat. You do alot of the same things I do conversation wise. The only difference is you learned this in high school.

I predict a GREAT College life for you...

Good luck, young man!
 

TheMack

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Originally posted by pulse
Those are major clues you can rememmber to use when describing things to them. It isn't always that dramatic though, you should also pay attention to their normal small talk. Someone who always says "you see what im saying?" Is a visual person, and you now know how to get their juices flowing when you describe the ultimate adventure, or etc.
This one just blew my mind. I love to use tricks like that ;). Great post overall. Keep it real.
 

broken1

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What do you do if you are being vague and open ended and the girl keeps on asking more and more direct questions??

Like txt msg(sms) convo i was having the other day
Her: Oh, where did you go eat supper?
Me : I didn't, went to go visit some1?
Her: Who you go visit?
Me : Just a friend in <name of suberb>
Her: A Girlfriend i am presuming?
(now baring in mind i am trying to hit on her, i didn't want to say yes- and i was visiting a male friend)
Me: Nope, just some guy that needed help with his car sound
(i had to cave and stop being vague?)
and then we changed topics...
I prob did good cause i think i am now seeing her on thursday
 

lerner

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Hi,

About the NLP. I´ve been into it a whole lot aswell. Especially Ross Jefferies, great stuff, awesome bloke. My problem is only GETTING TO the point where you can drop in lines like: "If you were to imagine the perfect situation between you and a man where you would FEEL INCREDIBLY EXCITED" etc etc.

I mean; it would kinda sound weird if your talking about her friends or whatever etc etc, then suddenly i say - You know...i was just wondering..if you were to...etc. I would be half expecting her to wonder: How´d we get onto that topic?

Is my problem the lack of basic experience and practice, or something else?

lerner


..............................................
Great site, thanks for all help!
.................................................
 

ethnomethodologist

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Man, this ingrained stuff NEEDS to come out. Why aren't DJ's giving advice this BASIC to the RAFC's?

I find it so disgusting the advice that is being given today. Ugh, One day, I'm going to ask for all of my posts to be deleted. I wouldn't be a happy DJ knowing my learning process was given a half ass display on this site. The beautidul theories that lie beneath the turbulent surface are so much to behold!
 

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Ravey

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Great post!

really useful for a newb with not a clue where the start like myself
 

Ziniath

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I cannot believe how young you are man, I wish I had the knowledge you do when I was your age. Holy ****!
 
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