I don’t think most women are looking for men who aren’t into them. I honestly don’t know any woman in my social sphere who is drawn to a man who sees her as not that attractive or little value. I don’t know who that works on, but it must work on some women I guess?Just because a guy wants to be good with women, that doesn't make him a bad person. But I suppose what women are really wanting to avoid is being used for sex, manipulated, and pumped and dumped. But if a girl is just out for a one night stand herself, she probably doesn't care, and a lot of guys are specifically seeking those kind of women. Most guys would like to meet a decent women for a relationship, I suspect - maybe not most of the guys here.
AJ, it seems to me most "game" that is taught seems to be ways to send a message to a girl that he doesn't really like her that much, or find her that attractive or valuable. I bet 90% of PUA tactics are related to that idea in some way or another. Obviously it's not appealing to be overeager, or desperate. But as a female, do you think most women are looking for guys who "aren't that into them"? I'd be curious to hear your thoughts.
I think that many men and woman want people who are into them, attracted, see value and are willing to invest, but some of those men and women want that even if they themselves don’t want to invest. The woman who wants the male orbiter, the man who wants the plate - each will complain when that orbitor or plate doesn’t show some kind of loyalty or connection to them when they don’t have any intention of reciprocating it anyway.
I think for men who don’t want to invest there are women out there who are like minded, but it’s rare for both to let the ego go and say, ok, let’s hook up and do our thing but no expectation from either side of any exclusivity or investment. Men who want the FWB but doesn’t want her to be FWB with other guys and women who want the FWB doesn’t want him with other girls either.
There are exceptions of course but generally speaking, it seems that some men and women want the girlfriend/ boyfriend experience in situations where they actually provide zero incentive for someone to be their girlfriend or boyfriend. Like taking but not giving, but expecting the other person to continue to give and not seeing the hypocrisy in that.
Then there are people who are genuinely looking for a relationship with a decent person who isn’t going to rip their heart out and eat it lol. I am someone who prefers relationships and I see that a few men here are the same. I’m not against casual dating but I do think it’s strange when casual daters expect stuff that really only works in committed relationships.