Project 2021 | Growing Your Social Status

[samspade]

This is neither a guide nor a diary, though it at times may resemble both. Please contribute if you want!

I'm making 2021 all about expanding my social reach. In late 2018, I relocated, left the US for Europe. 2019 was dedicated to finding my sea legs. I had to figure out how to earn an income and whether I wanted to stay where I am. 2020 was, of course, all about adapting and surviving. Now it's mid February 2021 and things are, for the moment, picking up again in most phases. Where I live we're in a kind of half lockdown, so it's a good time to prepare for when things pick up again.

Have you thought about how you can expand your presence socially? I'd love to hear your suggestions.

I work remotely, i.e. from home, so professionally I don't make many contacts where I live. To counter that, in normal times I go out to language exchanges once a week. That's where I meet all kinds of different people from all walks of life: college students, older adults, everyone in between. I've made friends, potential business contacts, and yes, gotten laid through language exchanges.

My hobbies are mostly in the performing/audio-visual arts, so one of my goals is to circulate more within the local scene here. I have been working on two personal art projects (different spheres) that I plan on exhibiting when it's finally possible to do so. In that vein, I plan on going to more of these types of events and seeing other people's works, for inspiration, growth, and to meet more like-minded people.

I know this sounds elementary, but it can be so easy sometimes to stay in (I do very well alone). So sometimes it will be like making yourself go to the gym - I'll feel better once I'm there.

My goal is to be more well-recognized where I am - I want more people to see me and say hi. For this I have to channel my charisma and make people feel important, something I'm very good at but don't always "turn on." I think it all starts with getting out there more. Note, I'm not aiming for vacuous celebrity, but rather, I want to be respected and known simply as the guy people want to be around - but by harnessing my talents and interests. I already have this high value status within my current sphere, so it's just a matter of expanding the sphere.

The other component is making more money. Work is picking up after a few rough months, and I have some opportunities ahead of me to really flourish, if things go smoothly. So it's also a matter of putting in the hard work and reaping the rewards. I live well enough, but I know I can do a lot better, without sacrificing my day to day happiness.

Feel free to share your experiences or insights.

 

[christie]

Awesome goals!

One of the quickest ways is to volunteer your time and effort.

Help people where they need help.

Do it through a volunteer placement or just start helping and serving people wherever you go.

Start from where you are. "Can I be of assistance?" " Would you like help with that?"
The social returns are multiplied but you don't see the returns right away. You have to put in the time and effort first.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Contrary to popular belief, being social is about finance, notice how Christie above refers to volunteering, it's a signal, financially. In the same way, most interactions we have with strangers or even friends involve financial signals.

People are signaling that they don't need money or that they do need money or anywhere in between, they are looking for others to share in their signaling to gain social credibility, because they have no social skills.

This is the main problem today, most people resort to signaling because they don't have the skills to socialize, they are afraid to put themselves out there, in fear of being attacked, yes, attacking is also another cover for having no social skills and people will do it, it is literally crabs in the bucket, fueled by ego.

Your probably going to be leading the interaction and this means you will inspire anxiety in the people around you, "What does he want? He must be trying to sell me something!" And they are absolutely right, you are selling yourself to them and they need a reason to buy.

In the midst of a pandemic, or even a technology fueled society, there are no benign social interactions, there are fewer interactions than ever before and so, each individual one means more than it ever has... In a room of 100 people, the majority are watching the first person to begin interacting and will immediately try to jump in, then, they wait for the next conversation to begin, but they aren't jumping in to socialize, most are jumping in to either attack or signal.

Im also not saying Christie doesn't have social skills, she's a woman, she was born with them, but what comes natural cannot be taught easily.

So if your aim is to play a different game than 90% of the people around you, I can see why that hasn't gone so well... Unfortunately your going to need to step into their world and your going to try to bring the most worthy candidates back into your world.

 

[samspade]

Still some days ahead of pseudo-lockdown, gradually letting up. I'm using the time to do great work for my job (as always), and also to sharpen my presence online, professionally.

I focus on IG, and have been keeping it restricted to my side hustle/side projects. These are within a specific scope, so I'm not going to be posting beautiful photos unless they're relevant (with the odd exception here and there). Am also mindful of who I interact with. I've already picked up a few random followers from within that sector, whom I don't know. It's a slow burn and just a supplement to what will be greater in-person networking and socializing once things open up.

 

[samspade]

Same what field are you in working from home? If i may be nosey a bit.

I'm in entertainment/media.

 

[samspade]

Progress...Last week I was invited to participate in an industry-related podcast which was very cool. A result of online networking. Looking forward to more face-to-face networking when COVID hopefully recedes.

 

[evan12]

Have you thought about how you can expand your presence socially? I'd love to hear your suggestions.

I had same your goal when I first came to Canada, for me it was very tough , for two reasons, first I was introvert, second , I was discriminated against my race, people were very rude to me, doesn't want to do anything with me, until I moved to Toronto, when it was more diverse, life start becoming better for me .
here are some advises :
1- Try to find some hobbies or other intersts to built on top of them your social network .
2- Flashing money or wealth not always magnet of gold diggers only, in general people want to have contact with rich people , because they are more likely to get what they need, beside people look up for rich in general. Also looking rich make you somehow more safe.
3- Register in courses , I found it very good even if you are in thirties. It give you new and ready to use environment.
4- The general common sense , be social , happy , interesting , funny.