Prison hierarchy and real life - male **** tests

[Fruitbat]

I’ve been watching a few YouTube channels on US prison life.

You have shot callers who control gangs, gang members, independents and at the bottom, bitches/punks.

The idea is if someone punks you, you have to fight hard and you’ll win respect. If you let people walk all over you, you’re done.

So, this applies somewhat to real life. However, it’s more nuanced than this.

Clearly if someone disses you, you have to not accept that, full stop. This is where it gets tricky for me.

I’m naturally aggressive when I’m this scenario - it’s how I was raised. Literally, I want to go to blows should this happen. This causes problems because I can’t do that as an adult. It also allows you to be easily manipulated to anger which is an issue.

So, alternative is to diss back. I really can’t be bothered to play that game.

So, if you don’t want to do this you then have to brush it off and ignore. Now you are weak.

Another alternative is to just break it off with guys who do this. A lot of men I come into contact with are constantly testing your shyt. I don’t have the need to do this - I want co operation, friendship, mutually beneficial arrangements.

The issue is, I’ve dealt with these with aggression in the workplace and the offenders try to then spin it that I’m the aggressor. There are some crafty, manipulative folks out there. Sometimes they are in positions of power over you which makes it harder to deal with.

Any thoughts on how men without a point to prove deal with other men who want to put you down the pecking order? I’m not a narcissist, but I know a few and they are a constant source of annoyance.

I find ignoring them/aloof doesn’t work and getting in their face doesn’t either.

Perhaps they are to be endured rather than defeated, but I am highly sick of their shyt.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I’ve been watching a few YouTube channels on US prison life.

You have shot callers who control gangs, gang members, independents and at the bottom, bitches/punks.

The idea is if someone punks you, you have to fight hard and you’ll win respect. If you let people walk all over you, you’re done.

So, this applies somewhat to real life. However, it’s more nuanced than this.

Clearly if someone disses you, you have to not accept that, full stop. This is where it gets tricky for me.

I’m naturally aggressive when I’m this scenario - it’s how I was raised. Literally, I want to go to blows should this happen. This causes problems because I can’t do that as an adult. It also allows you to be easily manipulated to anger which is an issue.

So, alternative is to diss back. I really can’t be bothered to play that game.

So, if you don’t want to do this you then have to brush it off and ignore. Now you are weak.

Another alternative is to just break it off with guys who do this. A lot of men I come into contact with are constantly testing your shyt. I don’t have the need to do this - I want co operation, friendship, mutually beneficial arrangements.

The issue is, I’ve dealt with these with aggression in the workplace and the offenders try to then spin it that I’m the aggressor. There are some crafty, manipulative folks out there. Sometimes they are in positions of power over you which makes it harder to deal with.

Any thoughts on how men without a point to prove deal with other men who want to put you down the pecking order? I’m not a narcissist, but I know a few and they are a constant source of annoyance.

I find ignoring them/aloof doesn’t work and getting in their face doesn’t either.

Perhaps they are to be endured rather than defeated, but I am highly sick of their shyt.

In the working world occasionally superior or another management will go over the line. You can document and report to HR. Im not sure you can fight your management on or off site but you dont have to stay at that job. Many times they may be threatened with you and attempt to adjust your confidence. Often times its subconscious. So you help yourself by not being affected. You can respond in a secure manner. If management is literally wasting company time, document it. Check with fair employment practices laws. Check attourneys.

Perhaps you start carrying a VAR on you.

 

[Fruitbat]

In the working world occasionally superior or another management will go over the line. You can document and report to HR. Im not sure you can fight your management on or off site but you dont have to stay at that job. Many times they may be threatened with you and attempt to adjust your confidence. Often times its subconscious. So you help yourself by not being affected. You can respond in a secure manner. If management is literally wasting company time, document it. Check with fair employment practices laws. Check attourneys.

It is far more subtle than that. It’s covert.

An example:

I accidentally clicked a video in a meeting when checking phone. I got a total bollocking.

The bosses favourite and someone he has teamed up with overtly did the same thing next week and both were kind of smirking about it. To the extent it was clear it was done deliberately to undermine me.

If that went to HR he’d just say he gave a bollocking to the other guy and here’s how it was documented etc.

Countless examples like that.

Thing is, the boss gives me good reviews and doesn’t really give me a hard time, he doesn’t want me to leave, but there’s a lot of mind games and one upmanship.

 

[Fruitbat]

In the working world occasionally superior or another management will go over the line. You can document and report to HR. Im not sure you can fight your management on or off site but you dont have to stay at that job. Many times they may be threatened with you and attempt to adjust your confidence. Often times its subconscious. So you help yourself by not being affected. You can respond in a secure manner. If management is literally wasting company time, document it. Check with fair employment practices laws. Check attourneys.

Perhaps you start carrying a VAR on you.

What’s a VAR?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What’s a VAR?

Voice activated recorder. If theres too much bullshyt in any working environment leave. Talk to some attourneys to see if there is anything you can do. I mentioned fair employment practice laws.

 

[switch7]

Any thoughts on how men without a point to prove deal with other men who want to put you down the pecking order? I’m not a narcissist, but I know a few and they are a constant source of annoyance.

I find ignoring them/aloof doesn’t work and getting in their face doesn’t either.

Perhaps they are to be endured rather than defeated, but I am highly sick of their shyt.

Get to a place where their insults and digs appear pathetic and laughable. Basically work on your self to the point where your self worth is way above their ego.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Get to a place where their insults and digs appear pathetic and laughable. Basically work on your self to the point where your self worth is way above their ego.

When your stuff is that good their attempts will actually deflate them.

 

[Crown]

If someone disrespects you that means you're not feared. Commanding respect is an attitude.

If there's one tip I could give: don't be familliar with people to the point where they know stuff about you.

If you're not a question mark, you lose respect. If you talk too much, you lose respect. If you hesistate, you lose respect.
If you're in a position where mistakes are not forgiven, do not do mistakes and be irreproachable.

 

[Fruitbat]

Some really sound advice guys. If I’m honest I’ve been very successful in my job in spite of this but it has knocked my confidendce a bit. It’s not easy working somewhere where these types of characters exist (I’ve worked in competitive workplaces but not on the same level as this - it’s decidedly unhealthy)

My main error I think is in not trusting my gut. The good news is I have an opportunity to buy a clients business out and this has moved me towards this. Sure, there is risk but I think I would be a lot happier without having to deal with these people day in day out.

It taught me a lot in dealing with these experiences but it still is depressing having to face it. Like a solider might learn from combat but I’m sure he would prefer a role behind the lines.

 

[Alvafe]

actually it is, you ignore then, I worked in a place once then had a group of people I really ignored, I talked with people far from then, and not with then who was closer to my desk, and people around notice that and started to piss on then for it, and once they asked why, I jsut said they don't add nothing to me, course they group hated me but again I didn't care.

its boil down to attitude, i'm pretty straight foward and direct, if my boss say something I don't like or it will not work I will without said it right away without care, if he will like or not, if is my job to know things, it my job to tell him waht should be better to do then do a half assed thing just because he told me, and funny enough even when I had people trying to undermine me they failed, because my boss liked that, and if he didn't my resume is running around, I can alwyas find a new place, and that is what you should be doing, stop caring, you are letting other hold power over you, because you care, don't matter if other people do it or not what matter is what you do can do, if someone is watching videos during work, is not you problem, unless you are they boss, if they fail it they problem, if they are that good they do everything they need and then waste time after good for then, again not your problem,

for your stating post, agressiveness is a good thing, undertand having the mentally and body langage of if he attack you he will get it back tenfold is a good thing to have, just understand, don't be afraid and don't ever start, if they can't repect they should fear, and keep your cool, being loose canon is the problem

one thing you also need to undertand, people will get close to when you have something to offer then, if they don't see a value on you they will not care, and in a work, that means you never will ask then to do things for you unless it a thing they should be doing, and for some reason it feel on your lap,

and keep your resume traveling around