Hello Friend,
If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.
It will be the most efficient use of your time.
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Thank you for visiting and have a great day!
I met someone very very similar about 3 years ago but luckily it ended after 3 dates...I started this thread over 4 years ago, and remember it vividly. The advice was good, however I did not take it. Yes I am an idiot, I accept that. How I wish I had simply blocked her in 2016 and moved on. But I didn't, and I paid the price, I have only myself to blame. I was arrogant, everything was good, firm boundaries and I thought I could handle it. I was very wrong.
It was largely good for 2 years, before turning overnight into a nightmare, a horror story I could very well have never seen the end of.
I won't go into the full horrific detail, just to say it completely destroyed my health and life, I became a mere object in my own existence devoid of feeling or worth beyond usefulness, suicidal thoughts, chest pains. I'm pretty sure she has NPD of the covert kind, never have I experienced anything like this, someone turning from so warm to so unimaginably cold and devoid of empathy and then simply refusing to leave. For 2 years every good thing was forgotten, every slightly bad thing multiplied 1000x and never ever forgotten, I gave up even trying to communicate, lost all interest in anything, no energy or time left for any interests, lost weight, became an absolute shadow of my former self, it was truly insane and 24/7. She could start a 4 day argument while we slept (literally). The works: anger, lies, cheating, violence, projection, gaslighting, constant extreme anger, but what sums is up is an inhumane total lack of any empathy at all. And I realise that's probably the tip of the iceberg, these people are very good at hiding things, if you catch them out there's probably 100 things you missed. Eventually I lost my mind and said some awful things to her in desperation and caused massive narc injury and she left, no I am NC and beginning a long road to recovery but will get there.
Why didn't I dump her you might wonder. I did, many times, however it became clear she simply couldn't conceive of me being able to decide that, and just didn't leave, it was nuts. I doscoverd it's actually quite hard to get someone out of your house if they simply are not going to leave. The covid thing made it all much worse, as she literally didn't set foot outside for months. Madness.
These women are out there, monsters who can pretend to be human, but actually have no feelings, no emotions, and have only two thoughts about you: useful/not useful, who NEED to get their toxic emotions projected out, who will wreck everything, who see people as robots. I thought I was pretty emotionless but when the mask fell, it was hard to believe a human being could appear so warm and loving yet actually be devoid of any humanity whatsoever. They can act a part as long as it takes, to get what they want and are masters at creating no win situations so they can project all their self hatred onto you. Don't be a fool like me, the small red flags at the start are the things that will destroy your life at the end. Place your boundaries above everything else, heed good advice on here, and save yourself years wasted and the total decimation of your mental and physical health. Don't be me.
It depends if you can deal with it. Some guys can, some can't. Just like some guys are falling in love and sending all of their money to Bangkok prostitutes.You guys telling OP to keep banging this chic and don't get attached are not seeing the damage already done and are luring him into a fools game. Dont know that very few men can come out from this chic unscathed.
Its an eject imediately and level 5 damage control mode.
OP get out as soon as possible and find you again.
Yeah but it's blatantly clear from the first page that OP could not just keep banging her a while separating emotions. He was already locked in. I read the first page thinking "he's gonna get sucked in" - boom it's a 4 year thread bump and he proved that sometimes with women, we are not as strong as we think. Even when we KNOW it's bad, our head/heart/d!ck will overrule us.It depends if you can deal with it. Some guys can, some can't. Just like some guys are falling in love and sending all of their money to Bangkok prostitutes.