If you're over 21 (or know someone who is). The best first date suggestion I can think of is "Do you wan't to come over and have a few drinks [name day here]." I am so sick of plunking down 30 bucks on damn dinner somewhere only to realize that I either don't like her or that she's going to be much of a hassle. Also, this sets up a lot more of the romantic possibilities after being a little inhibriated.
This proposition has worked for me about 75% of the time. The theory is that most girls don't hear where you wanna take them. They just hear "Bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla... Will you go out on a date with me?" It is at this time that they decide yes or no. If they like you and trust you they will say yes. If they like you but don't really know you well enough to trust you they may say "Well I don't know about going over and drinking" or something like that. At which point you will say "Well let's do coffee instead" or something else of that nature. If they don't like you they would have said no anyway... even if you would have said "Would you like to eat Caviar on the concorde as we head to Paris for a five star meal at the Rue D'Argent?"
If she liked you but was turned off at the fact that you wanted to get drinks or was to snobby for that then chances are that you wouldn't really want her anyway.
WARNING!!: I don't really think I have to say this but NEVER allow a girl to become completely SMASHED in your company. If she does DO NOT have sex with her. We are all gentlemen here and we do not take advantage of anybody. Besides I hear jail is not a nice place to visit.
1) You want to get her drunk and naked.
2) You are a player.
3) You keep the date rape drugs at home.
etc.
I believe some women would put up their defense mechanisms immediately and not even provide a counteroffer to meet somewhere else.
I like to keep first dates upbeat and friendly, not necessarily romantic. The real woman tends to show through and you can decide whether or not you want to see her again.
If I am interested, then I turn on the charm and romance to make sure my intentions are known.....
What has worked for me on more than one occasion is asking her if she'd like to come over and watch a movie on my killer home theatre. Then we cuddle on the couch and take it from there! Works like a charm!
~Andy
"Come over" as in "to my place"? Hmmm... I don't think it's a good idea. You're just setting yourself up for rejection. Then again, if it's working for you then enjoy it while you can
.
If they don't like you they would have said no anyway...
This is where I definitely disagree with you. Many girls who would want to go out and have a few drinks with you will refuse the date if you insist having the drinks at your place. I can't blame them. They hardly know who you are or what you have in store for them. Suggesting a first date at your place is like asking the girl if she wants to come to your place and f*ck. Sure, there are girls out there that will say yes... but that wouldn't necessarily show that they're interested in you
.
I believe that the first date should be in a neutral, public place where both of you feel comfortable... and if you're doing really well, "your place" might be the next stop
.
Hope this helps...
K.
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This is why I like this board. Lots of smart people who have counter offers to an idea. There is nothing wrong with that. This is how we achieve solutions. It's called serendipity.
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> I believe that the first date should be in a neutral, public place where both of you feel comfortable... and if you're doing really well, "your place" might be the next stop
Yep. Drinks (which don't have to be alcohol) are a good idea for the first time, but a lot of women will be uncomfortable meeting at your place or hers if she doesn't know you well. It might be better to use a word like "coffee" rather than "drinks" so she doesn't think your plan is to get her smashed. And coffee's a lot cheaper if you end up paying the bill.
Yeah, I think this is not a good idea for a chick that you barely know. She will probably think that you are just trying to get laid.
Anyways, let the first date be a quiet place where the two of you can get to know each other. Of course, the ratio of conversation should always be about 70% (her) and 30% (you).
------------------ "Women. They've got half the money in the world and all the pu$$y."
I like the idea of offering a first date at home. I wouldn't offer it if I were using swipe apps (I do not use swipe apps). Even if you set up a video chat off of a swipe app, there's still too much risk in this. I probably wouldn't offer this based on a 5-15 minute in-person approach (typically the amount of time it gets to get a first date). Even though there's an advantage of immediately having the in-person interaction, it's still too short of a time to offer someone to come over to your home.
It still makes sense to do the first date in-person. I can't seem to find a way around the public spaces for first dates, especially bars/lounges.
That annoys me a lot simply because I have plenty of alcohol at my apartment. I also have food at my apartment and don't perceive a need to eat restaurant food. The ingredients I use to make meals at home are healthier than restaurant food. I also have a nice couch and dining room table. The environment I can set at my apartment is preferable to public spaces.
I have a way of avoiding dinner dates in restaurants. I use some combination of drinks dates in bars and activity dates before inviting someone back to my place or getting an invitation to her place. I seem to get more women over to my place initially than initially going to hers.
