I have this former coworker from my last job that got into contact with me over the weekend, wanted to know how i was doing and asked to "hang out together" because she wants to start being social again after the lockdown we had in Sydney.
This woman is 10 years older and recently divorced, is it normal for Older women to be this forward? She's also asked if I have a girlfriend.
I agreed to the meetup but she gave no concrete date, I'm guessing she wants me to take the lead at this point?
I have this former coworker from my last job that got into contact with me over the weekend, wanted to know how i was doing and asked to "hang out together" because she wants to start being social again after the lockdown we had in Sydney.
This woman is 10 years older and recently divorced, is it normal for Older women to be this forward? She's also asked if I have a girlfriend.
I agreed to the meetup but she gave no concrete date, I'm guessing she wants me to take the lead at this point?
Not a personal attack, but this is how dangerous the Red Pill is.
Objectively look at what you're doing, from the outside.
The situation is, a girl who's 10 years older than you and recently divorced wants to get together.
In what universe do people need advice from strangers on such an issue? I mean, if you get a bad vibe during the drink you have with this girl, then just don't agree to see her again.
The red pill conditions you to no longer use your mind and think freely, and to always rely on a set of hard and fast 'truths' about how a particular situation with a girl will play out.
It's tough for me to seriously consider women in that age bracket as desirable. There are just too many things that are 'off.' They've let themselves go, gained weight, spent too much time in the sun, and inexplicably, often have gone backwards in terms of their style. Often they've had kids as well, which is another distraction in addition to it usually putting a significant amount of weight on them.
If she's going to make it easy for you and is passably attractive, then great. If she is going to try to make you jump through a bunch of hoops, it's probably not worth the time.
Not a personal attack, but this is how dangerous the Red Pill is.
Objectively look at what you're doing, from the outside.
The situation is, a girl who's 10 years older than you and recently divorced wants to get together.
In what universe do people need advice from strangers on such an issue? I mean, if you get a bad vibe during the drink you have with this girl, then just don't agree to see her again.
The red pill conditions you to no longer use your mind and think freely, and to always rely on a set of hard and fast 'truths' about how a particular situation with a girl will play out.
I just don't have the experience with this situation, I haven't had a girl ask me out directly. I feel like I should wait for her to organise it but she might be waiting for me to take the lead.
I just don't have the experience with this situation, I haven't had a girl ask me out directly. I feel like I should wait for her to organise it but she might be waiting for me to take the lead.
Tell her to meet you at the Sydney Opera House at 7pm Thursday night. You'll walk to a nearby pub for a quick drink. You have an early day Friday, so you'll have to head home after the drink.
You can decide Friday morning whether or not you want to see her again.
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She’s attracted to you. She probably had a secret crush on you back when you worked together. She feels much more comfortable hitting on you now because you are now FORMER coworkers. She’s hitting you up now because she has nothing to lose.
Some women (including older ones) can be this forward.
Fun Fact #3684 - A female will never ask if you have a girlfriend unless she considers you a guy attractive enough to be considered dateable.*
I’m not one of those red pill “Never date a woman older than 24.999” guys. I think it should be evaluated on an individual case basis.
It’s really your call whether to proceed or not.
*Either by her or at least one of her friends in the social circle. In other words, you meet or exceed her “baseline” standard to be dateable.
It is easier to have sex with a substantially older woman than a woman of a similar age, especially as a man ages 18-25. A lot of the men in this age range who have sex with older women have sex with older women because of the convenience factor. A 35 year old woman will also more easily have sex with a 25 year old man than a 38 year old man. The 35 year old woman is trying to hold out on the older man for a boyfriend arrangement whereas she does not expect that from the 25 year old.
I agreed to the meetup but she gave no concrete date, I'm guessing she wants me to take the lead at this point?
It's tough for me to seriously consider women in that age bracket as desirable. There are just too many things that are 'off.' They've let themselves go, gained weight, spent too much time in the sun, and inexplicably, often have gone backwards in terms of their style. Often they've had kids as well, which is another distraction in addition to it usually putting a significant amount of weight on them.
If she's going to make it easy for you and is passably attractive, then great. If she is going to try to make you jump through a bunch of hoops, it's probably not worth the time.
This is a fair analysis. Realize that older woman-younger man stuff like this usually has a limited shelf life. 6-12 months best case.
There's opportunity cost here. While you might get laid with a 35 year old, this cuts into your time available to pursue women your own age. You might have a longer shelf life relationship with someone your own age.
I know a lot of guys around here don't like having women as friends, but in my experience it can be very positive.
A friend of mine, in particular, has an excellent female friend about 10 years older than him. They go running and fishing together. She cooks him great meals. They have great conversation. And she introduces other women to him.
He doesn't say, which leads me to believe she is about 5 or 6/10: not repulsive enough to be an automatic pass, not good looking enough to be an automatic yes. Which would explain why he is 'thinking about it' rather than moving forward with it.
Ultimately, it's about supply/demand on the dating market: if you feel you have enough value to do better in the dating market, you will hold out, if not, then you will take what's available even if it's not ideal.
There's nothing wrong with admitting that this may be out of your familiarity. We're supposed to be here to help our fellow forum member out (although some members seem to forget this).
Here's my take: Instead of initiating, I'd hold off. She made the first overture; which would suggest that she doesn't mind making the moves. I'm guessing that she saw you as a bit aloof and this prompted her in the first place. If you appear cool and not anxious, eventually this will likely fall into your lap.
Hate to say it, but women like this usually aren't long term relationship material. Their assertive nature is fun at the beginning (no worries about guess work). But, their assertiveness in the long haul can be very draining.
It's tough for me to seriously consider women in that age bracket as desirable. There are just too many things that are 'off.' They've let themselves go, gained weight, spent too much time in the sun, and inexplicably, often have gone backwards in terms of their style. Often they've had kids as well, which is another distraction in addition to it usually putting a significant amount of weight on them.
If she's going to make it easy for you and is passably attractive, then great. If she is going to try to make you jump through a bunch of hoops, it's probably not worth the time.
Sounds like she wants the D. Don’t ask her out though. 25 year olds guys don’t go out on dates with 35 year old women. Invite her over to your place. Keeps this strictly as a fvck buddy arrangement. This is likely all she wants too (unless she’s seriously fvcked in the head).
You are looking for a confidence boost since you have trouble meeting Stacies who like you. You are writing this thread because deep inside you know you are better than this and strong enough not to lower yourself to deal with the likes of her. Eyes on the prize.
Stick to your cold approach plan. Dont pause that and look for security. Double down on it. Keep it up.
