Off to college soon would appreciate advice

someperson1987

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Hi,
I'm not writing for people to feel sorry for but because i really want to change.
I'll be off to college after this summer and I'd like some advice on self improvement. Basically, Although I was top of the class most of the time, I felt that i wasted alot of time in high school and i dont want to do the same in college.

A little about me:

I went to highschool where smart kids got a really hard time. I was a blackbelt so no one really bullied me but I was evident (I've overheard alot of back talking) that most guys dont want to associate with you most just cause of your grades (not everyone but most people). I was difficult to make friends so my social skills are bit lacking.

I'm not totally inexperienced with women; I've dated people but relationships just didn't last very long probably because I didn't really know how to communicate. I am lucky to be reasonably attractive, but still getting girls (which i tried very infrequently) was still very difficult due to shyness.

For four years, my day routines were the same: school, go home study, occasional b-ball game with neighbours and maybe an afterschool club or too and then sleep. I kinda feels like a waste of four years and i want to change.

Has anyone been through the same thing? I just find (as it was really difficult to make friends) that my social skills are lacking and it can be depressing at time. I don't want to waste another four years of life.

Anyone have any suggestions on the first steps to change (please be a bit specific...eg. Changing attitude i already know)
 
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sfalexi

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I'd say read a lot. Magazines, newspapers, then you can know a decent amount about certain topics. When a conversation is going on, you can chime in your two cents and be interesting and know what you're talking about. People will be glad to talk to someone knowledgeable and you'll always have something interesting to say. That'll help you gain a bunch of friends and get along with lots of people.

In college, feel free to join clubs. Either clubs that you know a lot about, or clubs that you don't know a lot about but are very interested in. That way you'll be someone that someone goes to for advice or know-how, or be the person asking questions.

Don't be afraid to talk. That's like a #1 thing. It's hard, but it has to be done. Sometimes it's good to take a public speaking class (it was a requirement in my college). It helps.

Alexi
 

Mojo604

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I was in a very similar situation when I headed to college. One of the main things I'd have to tell you is that in college everyone in general are nicer people (compared to my highschool). People are just friendly all the time, Ive never met anyone in college that came off negative. Feel free to talk to people, about homework, last class, school events, most people are nice. When I first whent to college I was shy more so then in highschool, since I didnt know anyone, and for the whole first semester I only talked to the few people that I knew, or the people that would talk to me first. --make friends. not just with girls, but with guys too, because most guys have girl friends you could meet :cool:
 

DJLegion

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If you are not very social I want to STRESS that you should join clubs. They have events and meetings you can go to to meet people. Trust me, USE this. It's a good outlet to meet people.

Is your college big or small?
 

someperson1987

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Originally posted by DJLegion
Is your college big or small?
As for size i would say medium sized. Its rather "techy" (sorta like MIT in America..I'm from Canada). Wouldn't say its large to the point that meeting people would be hard but also definitely far more populated than high school.

BTW: Although this is a "techy" university, a few people i know there say that the population is "pretty balanced"

Also: What kinda clubs can you join?
 

DJLegion

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Originally posted by someperson1987
As for size i would say medium sized. Its rather "techy" (sorta like MIT in America..I'm from Canada). Wouldn't say its large to the point that meeting people would be hard but also definitely far more populated than high school.

BTW: Although this is a "techy" university, a few people i know there say that the population is "pretty balanced"

Also: What kinda clubs can you join?
Well I'm in two clubs.

One of them is based on my ethic background.

The other is based on my major.

You should be able to find some clubs specific to your school by googling.
 

InsidiousNstinct

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LEARN HOW TO TAKE NOTES.....


enough said....
 

IM0001

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ya

I also went to college kinda like this. Heck I skipped highschool (first 2 years i homeschooled then was like screw this and started college early. Now i graduated HS and got my 2 year AA in the same year lol) But meeting people isnt really the hard part nor is getting girls numbers. Its actually getting a responce for something other than homework that i have a hard time with. Also it kinda sucks that every girl in this campus either has a bf already or are too old to even consider (Comunity colleges seam to attract youngins from HS and 40+ people). Im only 19 but where i am in college 21+ year old people are at and its hard to get a older chick to reconize a younger guy. just need to work on the comunication skills, become more interesting, (too late for me to join a club), and keep hitting the gym and we shall se what happens
 

Dominus

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Alright, college advice...

- Being an overachiever isn't much of a stigma anymore. Especially if you're in a good school. Most of the people in college care about academics, otherwise they wouldn't be paying through the ass to be there.

- Like everyone else said, join clubs. There are so many clubs in college. Good ones are the Student Government or Resident Student Association, most colleges have one or both. Or whatever your interested in. There's probalby some martial arts clubs. And its pretty easy to start ones on your own. Of course, joining the Gaming club or the Anime club might not be the best move...:cool:

- Look into the fraternities. They really vary from campus to campus, but the one I had pledged in my freshman year (and then quit) was really good, no hazing or anything. Some of them are primarily academically oriented, while the social fraternities are generally geared towards being a well rounded kind of guy.

- In your first days, make sure you get to know the people on your floor. It'll probably feel awkward at first, but its an easy way to meet people. If you don't do it early on, then you'll feel like a stranger, and you'll never really have a good chance to afterward. Trust me, I never did. Except the time that my neighbors helped out last St. Patty's day when some ***** got pissed off at me for getting her suede jacket wet while we were having a water gun fight.

Thats pretty much it. Just remember, people in college are generally so much cooler than in high school. And the girls are easier, for better or for worse.:rolleyes:
 

someperson1987

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Let me add something else.

I'm wondering (excuse the naivety as I have no real idea how college life is like), should i go meeting people (anyone not just girls) any differently.

For high school it was like this. For the most part when i talked to almost anyone (again there are exceptions but not many), it becomes very evident that they weren't interested in talking to me the moment they find out....."oh you're a smart kid" (yes my school is really cruel). Had a not done martial arts for so many years.....I might have even got thrown in a locker (but hey luckily no one touches me).

Really how college life like?
 
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CableLight

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College life is like poetry. You can glance over it and you might get lucky and figure out a few things, or you can dive in and work a little bit to decipher it - often times this leads to pleasant rewards you wouldn't have found otherwise.

I will tell you, though, that the first week is potentially rather decieving. It'll be weird (for everyone), so don't be discouraged if some people are a little reserved at first.
 

diablo

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Originally posted by someperson1987
thx
anything else......something specific like the previous response
Anything Else means I moved your thread to Anything Else, where it belongs, instead of leaving it in a section of the forum you shouldn't have posted it in. :p
 

Dominus

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Originally posted by someperson1987
Let me add something else.

I'm wondering (excuse the naivety as I have no real idea how college life is like), should i go meeting people (anyone not just girls) any differently.

For high school it was like this. For the most part when i talked to almost anyone (again there are exceptions but not many), it becomes very evident that they weren't interested in talking to me the moment they find out....."oh you're a smart kid" (yes my school is really cruel). Had a not done martial arts for so many years.....I might have even got thrown in a locker (but hey luckily no one touches me).

Really how college life like?
Really, its nothing like high school. I consider myself quite intelligent, nobody gives me any crap for it. My roommate is just as smart as I am (if I were less arrogant, I'd consider saying he's more intelligent) and he's probably the coolest guy I know here. Granted, he also is a veritable god when it comes to beer...

Pretty much, just don't stay in your room all the time, and things will be fine.
 
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College. What can I say about college. I am going to tell you that college should be the time of your life. You will NEVER encounter anything else like it. Simply a unique experience. But, like the real world, its what you make of it. The number one thing to keep in mind, is that you need to TALK TALK TALK. Anyone. Everyone. Girls. Guys. Proferssors. TA's. College is a social circus, it really is. I've been in a fraternity in a medium-sized school for the last 3 years, and I think I really took alot of lessons from it. I learned to talk to different types of people, I learned about other cultures, got to watch our hockey team go to the NCAA Finals, met women I didnt think existed, drank alot, partied alot, got good AND bad grades, got to have some pretty powerul people as professors...I loved it. But you need to be a "player" in the game. If you don't think your social, try joining a club of your interest. Believe me, you won't regret it. One cool thing I will always remeber about college, is that everyone is "your friend". You may not see 95% of the people you go to college with again after graduation, but for your time during college, they will be your livelihood. So in conclusion (don't EVER end your paper with that in college, hehe),
do these 3 things and you will be fine:
1) talk to people
2)pick a major you are passionate about
3) go to parties

it will work out. trust me.
 

DrMetallica

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I find university much easier (academically & socially) than high school. High school was a waste of my time and it made me hate everything, except when i got to go home. Graduation was the happiest day of my life. I got a 2.3 GPA in high school and last semester I got a 3.77 (i'm a freshman). This semster I'm probably gonna get a 4.0, and I find it much more interesting and rewarding than public school. I actually like to learn, and not just in the classroom. I like to read and talk to people about complex subjects & ideas and I'm like a farking sponge.

So, enjoy it. Also get drunk as hell on weekends...you'll love it.
 

alboh

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Remember that the best part of university can be what you learn outside of the class, as corny as that sounds. Try new things, go to plays and concerts, debate, be open-minded and try to learn as much as you can. And remember on the first day everyone else is just as nervous socially as you are. Someone will probably be relieved if you go up to them and start a conversation.
 
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