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Not sure I have ever dated a quality woman

Bethatsocialguy

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The women I've dated all into at least one of these categories. Some are specific to an individual person and some are broad. In no circumstances am I referring to just how they were with me, but how they behaved before and after me as well.

1. Daddy issues including but not limited to cluster B (obvious, many of these)
2. Loves the game and doesnt attach usually(sometimes does), doesnt seem to value LTRs at all, rejects solid men (I would put at the highest quality i've dated but risky for a LTR due to not seeming oriented that way.)
3. Schizophrenia in family (second highest quality but Im not taking chances)
4. Avoidant attachment issues, chronically single well into their late 30s. They did often have LTRs or marriages early on.
5. Strippers/former strippers
6. Bad personality/judgmental/objectively boring, cause of each is undiagnosed and irrelevant because even initial chemistry can't be established. They tend to be chronically single as well, so its not just me
7. Extreme promiscuity in past, turns into an extreme flirt/cheater when drinking
8. Chronic greener grass/monkey brancher
9. Anxious attachment or caretaker type personality: prefers low value men

Meanwhile, there does not seem to be a huge shortage of quality women, which I would define as:

1. Pair bonding ability
2. Solid personality
3. LTR oriented

They are a minority, but I know plenty of them. They are, of course, in relationships already. I usually have really good chemistry with them to the point where we probably would have dated if I had met them before their current partner (with the caveat that taken women are never friendlier than when they're taken, so its somewhat of a false positive).

Can anyone related to this? It just seems so bizarre.

The obvious answer is that quality is taken off the market early, but that can't ALWAYS be the case can it?

Looking back, I can think of a few opportunities I lost, but none were a sure thing and they often would have involved stepping on the toes or worse of male friends who were likewise interested.

Society has programmed women to think and act in a certain way. It is best to find a woman who you can mould to a certain degree.
 

Dash Riprock

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@Dash Riprock Care to weigh in? You're a mid 40s Don Juan who isn't looking for monogamy.. Do you wrestle with loneliness?
Mostly not. Definitely not looking for marriage.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a steady to do things with but then I think about all the heavy lifting at the sacrifice of my other hobbies, interests, free time, business time, workout time, solo time, friends time, dog time, etc., and then decide against. Relationships, and the pursuit thereof, are a HUGE time suck--you only have 24 hours in the day so the pie for all the other things in your life will be cut thinner.

Plus, the way the last one ended (9yr LTR), definitely not looking to get into that again. Almost churns my stomach.
 

Fruitbat

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Short women should be avoided. Being small means that they didn't have proper nutrition and have a deformed body, and the probability of them being lower class is much greater. Women that you have sex with should be at least 160cm. Read my guide here on how to filter women : https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...hms-of-tinder-bumble-hinge-new-method.274242/
Who TF wants to lie with a woman the same size feet as you.

Short women rule. Much better in bed.

OP is probably short. It’s usually short guys who like tall IMO ;-)
 

Howiestern

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That is very encouraging. I am having issues finding LTR worthy women and I am considering making some drastic changes to my dating life. How and where did you meet your gf?


Are you being overt with how you communicate that or is it something that you sub-communicate? That sounds like something that requires a lot of calibration.
Met her on Hinge. The background of my past was very overt. I was confident and indifferent. She didn't ask the details and I wasn't offering either.

Deliver the message in a style that fits you. Women are good at detecting subtleties and what you say needs to match who you are. They feel misled and confused when it's not that way.
 
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Howiestern

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How did their insecurity manifest?
The insecure girls wanted to know how many girls I had been with, and asked many questions about those relationships. Next came the backhanded/snide comments. The secure girls barely asked any details. They weren't concerned because they had enough confidence in what they were offering that other women weren't much of a threat.
 

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TheKid

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Settle for the best you can and then train the shvt out of her.
Lots of communication, say what ever qaulity you want is (attractive) over and over.
 

stringpuller

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I read most of this thread. Some posts just go to deep.
Most of you in here are suffering from the Madonna/***** complex and its not good. It leads to pedestalizing the idiological quaulity girls. They dont exist. There are women with all kinds of traits. They all do women things and are capable of any behavior.
Pick the ones who have the traits you like best and just quit keeping score and just play the game.
Hit the ball back and forth.
In a nutshell .

That girl you call a bpd can go to church and that nice girl in the sundress can enjoy being pizzed on.
Focus on the basics. Her behavior and how she treats you and does she fullfill you sexually?
Every girl you meet in any age bracket you guys are in is a blank canvas to start with. Just vett them properly and you will find more compatable women. .02
 

Steno

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Settle for the best you can and then train the shvt out of her.
Lots of communication, say what ever qaulity you want is (attractive) over and over.
That doesn't work, best case scenario she will put on an act for a month or 2 and then she will slowly default back to her baseline behavior. You can't really change someone, the only way people change long-term is if they made that decision to do so on their own accord.

You also risk coming across as controlling and insecure. What usually ends up happening is that she will agree but over time will start to resent you and then the relationship will become toxic. Only commit your time to someone who is already where you need them to be or very close.
 

stringpuller

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An alpha is indifferent of her former lovers. Women use jealousy to own you. Learn to control irrational emotions.
 

LARaiders85

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I read most of this thread. Some posts just go to deep.
Most of you in here are suffering from the Madonna/***** complex and its not good. It leads to pedestalizing the idiological quaulity girls. They dont exist. There are women with all kinds of traits. They all do women things and are capable of any behavior.
Pick the ones who have the traits you like best and just quit keeping score and just play the game.
Hit the ball back and forth.
In a nutshell .

That girl you call a bpd can go to church and that nice girl in the sundress can enjoy being pizzed on.
Focus on the basics. Her behavior and how she treats you and does she fullfill you sexually?
Every girl you meet in any age bracket you guys are in is a blank canvas to start with. Just vett them properly and you will find more compatable women. .02
I can't deny what I observe and experience, even if this seems mostly true. There is still a huge difference between "the girl you call bpd" and most women.
 

stringpuller

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I can't deny what I observe and experience, even if this seems mostly true. There is still a huge difference between "the girl you call bpd" and most women.
Then you need new goggles bruh. Every girl has bpd in them when paired with an idiot Bp man. They loathe it and will commit murder because of it. In some cases.
I would first try not needing everyone to line up with your "observations"
Then a man can properly observe not only through your own.
But family, friends, coworkers, news etc etc.
The #1 clientel for divorce lawyers is "stay at home housewives" yet here we are on SS talking about that "quaity girl" lmao
 

LARaiders85

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Then you need new goggles bruh. Every girl has bpd in them when paired with an idiot Bp man. They loathe it and will commit murder because of it. In some cases.
I would first try not needing everyone to line up with your "observations"
Then a man can properly observe not only through your own.
But family, friends, coworkers, news etc etc.
The #1 clientel for divorce lawyers is "stay at home housewives" yet here we are on SS talking about that "quaity girl" lmao
Your standards for women are actually quite high, much higher than mine. You mask them under low expectations, but they are there. That is why you can't distinguish differences, you are too disappointed.

My standards are low and the "any woman can divorce" is too obvious to even mention.
 

TheKid

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That doesn't work, best case scenario she will put on an act for a month or 2 and then she will slowly default back to her baseline behavior. You can't really change someone, the only way people change long-term is if they made that decision to do so on their own accord.

You also risk coming across as controlling and insecure. What usually ends up happening is that she will agree but over time will start to resent you and then the relationship will become toxic. Only commit your time to someone who is already where you need them to be or very close.
Worked for me, 7 years. No marriage or kids.
 

stringpuller

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Your standards for women are actually quite high, much higher than mine. You mask them under low expectations, but they are there. That is why you can't distinguish differences, you are too disappointed.

My standards are low and the "any woman can divorce" is too obvious to even mention.
I hope my standards are quite high. Wanting to find a peaceful situation why would your standards be so low?
 

Epimanes

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Quality is subjective. If it's strictly looks ... likely never find "quality"
 

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stringpuller

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Your standards for women are actually quite high, much higher than mine. You mask them under low expectations, but they are there. That is why you can't distinguish differences, you are too disappointed.

My standards are low and the "any woman can divorce" is too obvious to even mention.
LA men should start in their mind they are a 10 and believe it. Know it
A thor 10 regardless if I think your girl is a 5. Or another guy does.
His opinion dont mean shyt
The way you hold yourself above them all.
The real rubber meeting the road is when it goes down you fck the hell out of them and not be the same old "Chad"
 

Pan87

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To get quality women you have to set brutal standards.

This allows the woman to look up to you and she gives you her best version of herself.

Example of a brutal standard you could use - “I would only marry a virgin.”
 

Murk

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That's a great indicator actually, if a man has the ability to recognize it. Joyous energy is immensely attractive and magnetic.
I only recently realised that I need this in a partner, some people just lift your spirits.
 
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