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Not sure I have ever dated a quality woman

LARaiders85

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One of the comments that truly resonates with me in this thread was from @Kotaix who stated that he looks for women who still have joy in their smile. That's a great indicator actually, if a man has the ability to recognize it. Joyous energy is immensely attractive and magnetic.
This is pretty much what I look for now in practice. I don't do a ton of screening for specifics anymore.
 

DonJuanjr

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one of them kept asking me what I was looking for which I found weird, she had asked me 6 times a different variation of what am I looking for and if I am single.
How did you handle this?
 

SW15

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From Caleb Jones, aka Blackdragon....


"3. Be a player forever

This option is barely worth talking about because very few men will choose this option. The vast majority will chose to settle down and pair bond in some form or fashion. Regardless, it's still an option technically.

The only big problem with this option is loneliness. I have never seen a guy choose this option and not wrestle with recurrent feelings of loneliness. Some form of pair bonding is more conducive to long-term happiness for a man, particularly as he gets past age 35. "
I can relate to this as I have experienced feelings of loneliness at various points in my life. If a man is unattached in his 30s (particularly after 35), he isn't welcomed into most social circles. His friends from his teens or 20s (if he's managed to live in the same place for a while) will scale back their interactions with him in their married lives or cohabitation LTR lives. He might have difficulty making new friends in a similar place in life. That's a recipe for loneliness. Getting laid regularly can soften the impact of this.
 

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How did you handle this?
She first asked me what I was looking for I said something like "someone I connect with long term and have a future with" then she said what does that mean, I said something that evolves into gf/bf and eventually marriage and she just kept asking as if she didn't know wtf a relationship or marriage meant. Then she asked me if I was single I said yes and then she was like what does that mean, and im like I dont have a gf or wife, and she just kept being super weird. I nexted her right after the date, not dealing with women who have severe trust issues.
 

Howiestern

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@LARaiders85

Ive experienced every type of girl you mentioned. Multiple times. The best girls stay in long term relationships and that is what they prefer. Although my girl wears me out from time to time, she is ranks high in all categories. Definitely in the top 5 of all the women I've been with. My buddies(ones that get women) tell me all the time that I have a great chic.

When I met her she was two months out of a long term relationship. Similar to what others have said, they don't stay single long and they have low partner counts.

How did I get a girl worth keeping? I changed how I dated. I was straight forward with all of them from the start. I told them I have been with lots of women, I know what I'm doing, and it's just hot sechs and fun times until I am convinced she is quality. Telling them this filtered out all of the insecure ones very quickly. Insecure women always have a lot of mental issues and a long list of dudes they've been with.

And I kept dating. If I didn't like them or saw a red flag, that was the end of them. I wasn't sticking around to reiterate what I learned before with 5 other women. And now it didn't matter because I had another lined up.

Basically approach dating like a woman does by Keeping your prospect list lengthy.
 
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DonJuanjr

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I told them I have been with lots of women, I know what I'm doing, and it's just hot sechs and fun times until I am convinced she is quality. Telling them this filtered out all of the insecure ones very quickly.
How did their insecurity manifest?
 

Steno

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Although my girl wears me out from time to time, she is ranks high in all categories. Definitely in the top 5 of all the women I've been with. My buddies(ones that get women) tell me all the time that I have a great chic.
That is very encouraging. I am having issues finding LTR worthy women and I am considering making some drastic changes to my dating life. How and where did you meet your gf?

How did I get a girl worth keeping? I changed how I dated. I was straight forward with all of them from the start. I told them I have been with lots of women, I know what I'm doing, and it's just hot sechs and fun times until I am convinced she is quality. Telling them this filtered out all of the insecure ones very quickly. Insecure women always have a lot of mental issues and a long list of dudes they've been with.
Are you being overt with how you communicate that or is it something that you sub-communicate? That sounds like something that requires a lot of calibration.
 

LARaiders85

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I can relate to this as I have experienced feelings of loneliness at various points in my life. If a man is unattached in his 30s (particularly after 35), he isn't welcomed into most social circles. His friends from his teens or 20s (if he's managed to live in the same place for a while) will scale back their interactions with him in their married lives or cohabitation LTR lives. He might have difficulty making new friends in a similar place in life. That's a recipe for loneliness. Getting laid regularly can soften the impact of this.
The dating market is so dysfunctional now that I haven't had any issues with this because plenty of my friends are single. Not always, but off and on, and I am making new friends constantly. Sure, my high school friends have married off but few of my college friends.
 

SW15

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The dating market is so dysfunctional now that I haven't had any issues with this because plenty of my friends are single. Not always, but off and on, and I am making new friends constantly. Sure, my high school friends have married off but few of my college friends.
We're similar ages. All of the friends I've made since moving to my current city are married off or living with their multi-year girlfriends. Mostly married. I have some friends from previous phases of life, such as college, who did get married and are now divorced and unattached/marginally attached.

I've not done as good of a job as you have in terms of making new friends constantly. You've got that going for you.
 

bat soup

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The women I've dated all into at least one of these categories. Some are specific to an individual person and some are broad. In no circumstances am I referring to just how they were with me, but how they behaved before and after me as well.

1. Daddy issues including but not limited to cluster B (obvious, many of these)
2. Loves the game and doesnt attach usually(sometimes does), doesnt seem to value LTRs at all, rejects solid men (I would put at the highest quality i've dated but risky for a LTR due to not seeming oriented that way.)
3. Schizophrenia in family (second highest quality but Im not taking chances)
4. Avoidant attachment issues, chronically single well into their late 30s. They did often have LTRs or marriages early on.
5. Strippers/former strippers
6. Bad personality/judgmental/objectively boring, cause of each is undiagnosed and irrelevant because even initial chemistry can't be established. They tend to be chronically single as well, so its not just me
7. Extreme promiscuity in past, turns into an extreme flirt/cheater when drinking
8. Chronic greener grass/monkey brancher
9. Anxious attachment or caretaker type personality: prefers low value men

Meanwhile, there does not seem to be a huge shortage of quality women, which I would define as:

1. Pair bonding ability
2. Solid personality
3. LTR oriented

They are a minority, but I know plenty of them. They are, of course, in relationships already. I usually have really good chemistry with them to the point where we probably would have dated if I had met them before their current partner (with the caveat that taken women are never friendlier than when they're taken, so its somewhat of a false positive).

Can anyone related to this? It just seems so bizarre.

The obvious answer is that quality is taken off the market early, but that can't ALWAYS be the case can it?

Looking back, I can think of a few opportunities I lost, but none were a sure thing and they often would have involved stepping on the toes or worse of male friends who were likewise interested.
If I were you I'd just try a different bus stop.
 

Bokanovsky

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They say that like attracts like. You seem like a pretty sensible guy based on your posts on this forum, but perhaps you have some dark qualities that make you attracted to damaged, trashy women.

On a somewhat related note, if you tried to be objective, how would you describe your mother? Is she a “high quality” type?
 

EyeBRollin

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I think most men would like to pair bond and want LTRs. Look at all the beta males who get married every year.

From Caleb Jones, aka Blackdragon....


"3. Be a player forever

This option is barely worth talking about because very few men will choose this option. The vast majority will chose to settle down and pair bond in some form or fashion. Regardless, it's still an option technically.

The only big problem with this option is loneliness. I have never seen a guy choose this option and not wrestle with recurrent feelings of loneliness. Some form of pair bonding is more conducive to long-term happiness for a man, particularly as he gets past age 35. "
Its a black pill article.

In summary: all options are bad. The “least bad” is moving to the third world and having an open long term relationship.

Riiiiight.
 

LARaiders85

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They say that like attracts like. You seem like a pretty sensible guy based on your posts on this forum, but perhaps you have some dark qualities that make you attracted to damaged, trashy women.

There is nothing in me that makes me attracted to them. The women I described are an incredibly broad category of women, arguably a supermajority, not a fetish. Most of them I have never been attracted to. Very few of them are outwardly damaged or trashy at all. There might be something in me that makes the more inwardly damaged ones attracted to me though.

On a somewhat related note, if you tried to be objective, how would you describe your mother? Is she a “high quality” type?

Overall high quality, a little pushy though due to some tiger mom mentality.
 

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SW15

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Its a black pill article.

In summary: all options are bad. The “least bad” is moving to the third world and having an open long term relationship.

Riiiiight.
That's an incorrect summary.

The correct summary would be that the least bad options are...

  • If choosing monogamy and desiring a family, move to a non-Western country
  • If staying in a Western nation, choosing some form of open relationship.
I don't do open relationships. Caleb Jones' proclivity towards the open relationship framework is a discrediting item about him. In 2019, PUA Nick Krauser published a hit piece on Caleb Jones (aka Blackdragon)...


I do think the summary of 9 options is an accurate summary of the 9 possible options men have in conducting romantic relationships, even if Blackdragon is a pathetic cuck as Krauser says. I've been more of an Option 6 guy (Serial Monogamist without Marriage) myself.
 
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EyeBRollin

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That's an incorrect summary.

The correct summart would be that the least bad options are...

  • If choosing monogamy and desiring a family, move to a non-Western country
  • If staying in a Western nation, choosing some form of open relationship.
I don't do open relationships. Caleb Jones' proclivity towards the open relationship framework is a discrediting item about him. In 2019, PUA Nick Krauser published a hit piece on Caleb Jones (aka Blackdragon)...


I do think the summary of 9 options is an accurate summary of the 9 possible options men have in conducting romantic relationships, even if Blackdragon is a pathetic cuck as Krauser says. I've been more of an Option 6 guy (Serial Monogamist without Marriage) myself.
I read it bro. All options suck. That is the article summary. The least sucky options being move to the third world, or stay in the first world with an open relationship.
 

SW15

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Overall high quality, a little pushy though due to some tiger mom mentality.
Is she Asian/Asian-American? You used the phrase "Tiger Mom", which is most closely associated with mothers of Asian ancestry.

.

What are tiger parents?

Coined by Amy Chua in 2011, “tiger parenting” is a term she spent hundreds of pages defining and describing in her book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom.”

Tiger parents, according to Chua’s definition, are mothers of Chinese (or other ethnic) origin who are highly controlling and authoritarian. This style of parenting is seen as harsh, demanding, and often emotionally unsupportive.
 

LARaiders85

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Is she Asian/Asian-American? You used the phrase "Tiger Mom", which is most closely associated with mothers of Asian ancestry.

.

What are tiger parents?

Coined by Amy Chua in 2011, “tiger parenting” is a term she spent hundreds of pages defining and describing in her book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom.”

Tiger parents, according to Chua’s definition, are mothers of Chinese (or other ethnic) origin who are highly controlling and authoritarian. This style of parenting is seen as harsh, demanding, and often emotionally unsupportive.
Not literally, but definitely a bit of a nag. Not to the point where it couldnt be easily ignored.
 

2Rocky

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Is she Asian/Asian-American? You used the phrase "Tiger Mom", which is most closely associated with mothers of Asian ancestry.

.

What are tiger parents?

Coined by Amy Chua in 2011, “tiger parenting” is a term she spent hundreds of pages defining and describing in her book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom.”

Tiger parents, according to Chua’s definition, are mothers of Chinese (or other ethnic) origin who are highly controlling and authoritarian. This style of parenting is seen as harsh, demanding, and often emotionally unsupportive.
I have one and I married one...

Getting divorced actually broke me out of that pattern. My youngest daughter has been more successful socially because I became more supportive the last 6 years.
 
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