Master Don Juan
- Aug 27, 2015
- Reaction score
- DFW, TX
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Yes I can relate. When I relapse it's usually because something happened with a girl (she ghosted me, she disrespected me, she flaked...), i know that feeling very well. You feel like sh*t, so you fap, and then you feel like sh*t because you fapped, so you fap again and you feel like sh*t again. The next day you feel better.I've been studying into supercells and how they have an updraft - where it sucks up air into the clouds, where wall clouds, funnel clouds and tornadoes can form, and a downdraft where all the wind and rain just come gushing down with speed.
I feel I just had a mental storm of the same function. A lady from the past emailed me. I made sure that I would not fap or watch any porn. This was for a while, but now even doubly sure because now I felt that some woman was taking me on or something and I have a policy not to fap or watch porn if there is any real women in my life. It was hard, I felt so horny. Then when I didn't see any reply to her email and figured she probably rejected me or something then I've never seen such a gush of fapping and binge watching escort pics like that in a while. It reminded me of these supercell thunderstorms. Wind going up and wind going down. Updraft abstaining from fapping and escort pics, fapping at escort pics like a downdraft because of unstable conditions. Now that I've achieved a new state of equilibrium I don't think I'll be fapping again because the storm is gone. Now I really don't care if there is a reply to any email or not. What a storm though.
Red hair is a weakness of mine. I think you're overselling her a bit, not that she isn't attractive, but there are a lot of attractive 19 year olds. I don't like the frame of thinking a girl is a 10 (I don't believe in 10s anyway). Also didn't like the frame of saying "she didn't mind that I was in my mid thirties". She should be flattered to have the interest of a sophisticated older man, and be worried if you mind that she is 19.Long Red hair, green eyes, 175cm, skinny, nice style, perfect face and very intelligent.
Hey Zekko thanks for reading! Yes I was a bit excited this morning, she is not a 10 but a solid 9 (for my tastes of course), on the picture she's hot but in reality she's is just wow. But we all have different tastes, all good!Red hair is a weakness of mine. I think you're overselling her a bit, not that she isn't attractive, but there are a lot of attractive 19 year olds. I don't like the frame of thinking a girl is a 10 (I don't believe in 10s anyway). Also didn't like the frame of saying "she didn't mind that I was in my mid thirties". She should be flattered to have the interest of a sophisticated older man, and be worried if you mind that she is 19.
Anyway, just sharing some thoughts, not that I think you need them, sounds like you're doing great. You keep doing you.
Yeah browsing escort websites is not a good idea. The thing with noFap is that you have to stay away from triggers all the time. But as your noFap streak goes on, just going to the mall is a trigger.Very nasty relapse. Looked at escort pics again AFTER talking about escorts and escort pics on other threads on this same board. The problem is even TALKING about this is too triggering. I tried to stop THREE TIMES, and was slammed the FOURTH time. Was looking at Black escorts because a Black girl that was 18 years old rejected me in 2008 or something like that and I figured its not a big deal because I can always get a Black escort around the same age when I get older. I looked at 19 year old Black escorts, especially ads that called potential older clients "daddy" and just fapped.
Arrghhh!!! That's it, I can't take it, no more discussions on here about escorts. It keeps making me relapse badly.
This is Easter for crying out loud. Supposed to be repenting and stopping this nonsense. Not good.
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Sometimes I just find myself there if I'm feeling stressed out, having a bad day, or feel mentally overwhelmed. Since you can just access it anywhere, smartphone, tablet, all you do is go on incognito and bingo. However, the biggest triggers are indirect things that LEAD to wanting to go there. Like I've said, those triggers include 1) UFO documentaries especially where abductions are involved or hybrid experimentations where the human genome is spliced together with alien genes to create a hybrid between two races, 2) talking about escorts on this board. It's like these things create a mental vortex that I find myself having a very strong desire to look at these images.Yeah browsing escort websites is not a good idea. The thing with noFap is that you have to stay away from triggers all the time. But as your noFap streak goes on, just going to the mall is a trigger.
I'd rather fap to something good than stick it into something I'm disgusted by. Of course, I have no problem sticking it into something nice at a decent price when I EscortMax.Fair enough. I was just saying to the guys if you have a drought with no end in sight sometimes you have to take what you can get easier.