No sex yet after 5 dates

[Dr.Suave]

I said “honey, we havent DONE anything yet.”

D@mn, bro. That was a great answer. Did she eventually opened her legs?

 

[Stanley]

All that matters is what you want. (No i'm not advocating for you to use her in anyway)

If this girl is asking for exclusivity it means she likely won't sleep with you until that point. That isn't a bad thing necessarily and if you wanted a relationship I'd say that bodes well for a more 'quality' kind of girl. That said it has been some time since your last post and while you say you are open to things, it isn't clear what it is you want. I get the having your cake and eating it too vibe with the comment about wanting more 'benefit's. She knows you want to sleep with her and she will hold sex over you to see if you commit and aren't going to run for the hills after sleeping with her. It is the anti pump and dump defense mechanism.

If you are just looking for a lay then pop her on the backburner, if you dig her and want to see where things go you'll have to be patient, but you are likely to give this girl more power over you through sex. The best way to combat that power dynamic is to not care about the lay and outcome. If you are seeing other girls and getting your 'needs' met then you will care less about sleeping with this girl.

I disagree with this girl not being into you.

Going on dates for weeks on end and pushing for exclusivity is a definite sign of interest in the now and long term. I agree with you though that at your ages 5 dates is pretty quick for exclusivity. There is nothing wrong with these slow burn girls and they tend to be of better quality with stronger morals and ethics, but again if your aim is really the sexual component then it is never worth the wait.

Also if you think this girl has her head on straight and isn't messed up like most then don't make her broken like the rest.

 

[DonJuanjr]

If this girl is asking for exclusivity it means she likely won't sleep with you until that point.

Which is funny because that's from a desperate point of view. Wanting to be monogamous that quick would be a turn off to women, if coming from a guy... The funny thing is, "okay, we're exclusive... We have sex. Oh, we're not sexually compatible, so this isn't going to work". It doesn't really prevent anything...

 

[Pedrito0906]

Which is funny because that's from a desperate point of view. Wanting to be monogamous that quick would be a turn off to women, if coming from a guy... The funny thing is, "okay, we're exclusive... We have sex. Oh, we're not sexually compatible, so this isn't going to work". It doesn't really prevent anything...

Yeah but it looks like a girl who's withholding s3x after 5 dates, have had ltr before so no virgin and gets weird when the guy tries to escate, is wifey material... This forum is a jungle.

 

[Stanley]

Which is funny because that's from a desperate point of view. Wanting to be monogamous that quick would be a turn off to women, if coming from a guy... The funny thing is, "okay, we're exclusive... We have sex. Oh, we're not sexually compatible, so this isn't going to work". It doesn't really prevent anything...

If it were the man pushing for exclusivity this early on (or at all frankly) than that would be an indicator of desperation and a lack of options no doubt. Assuming this girl is decent looking and she is in her 20s she very likely could have other options at the drop of a hat. Her wanting exclusivity could also be her attempt at locking op down as quickly as possible and taking him off the market. Her delaying sex could also be built on her upbringing and the conditioning she experienced. All we have is conjecture

Sexual compatibility can take time to foster. Not every girl is 304 who has spread her legs for some guy off tinder. Some people need to actually like one another and feel comfortable in their skin before they jump into bed with them. She could also be a girl who is 'reformed' (lol) and is now doing the classic -withold sex so I come across as a 'good girl' maneuver-

Personally after 5 dates I would move on or at least put this girl aside, but everyone is different and what you want changes with time.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Which is funny because that's from a desperate point of view. Wanting to be monogamous that quick would be a turn off to women, if coming from a guy... The funny thing is, "okay, we're exclusive... We have sex. Oh, we're not sexually compatible, so this isn't going to work". It doesn't really prevent anything...

I’ve met girls that operated this way. One girl in particular tried to do this to me. I ejected after the second date (wasn’t into her enough). She had a whole boyfriend just a couple weeks later. Then broke up with him less than a month later. He just accepted, then got his nut off and was cheating most likely. Her little monogamy rule didn’t change the inevitable.

 

[BPH]

This follows a post I made a few weeks ago:

Advice after second date

First time poster. Recently discovered the Rational Male and Rollo's content has really resonated with me. After living the oneitis life I've recently begun plate spinning and changing my mindset is working wonders for me. Anyway the reason for this post is to get opinions/confirm my...

www.sosuave.net

So I've been continuing to see her and we've been making out but when I try escalate further she gets awkward and doesn't seem to want to take it further.

I think she's the slow burner type but I know she is interested. On the fourth date she asked if we were exclusive which is very early in my opinion to be mentioning that especially before sex. I deflected. She is also catholic and goes to church so maybe that's a factor, I'm not religious myself but I know being catholic can mean different things depending on the person.

I feel that sex should've happened by now and don't know how much longer it will take and if I want to wait for that long.

Any advice on what to do? It seems she is in it for the long haul which I am open to but would like more benefits along the way.

I haven't read any replies after this, but I'll add my 2 cents.

Stop seeing this girl. Go bang somebody else.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Stop seeing this girl. Go bang somebody else.

He can do both. It’s how I ended up with a good girl. Let it progress slowly, while still banging plates.

 

[BPH]

He can do both. It’s how I ended up with a good girl. Let it progress slowly, while still banging plates.

I didn't read the other replies, is he looking for a relationship? Because otherwise I wouldn't bother with this.

 

[jaymbrs]

She doesn’t know what she’s doing. You’re essentially dating a child. You’re gonna have to hold her hand throughout this entire process.

 

[threeforfree]

Yeah but it looks like a girl who's withholding s3x after 5 dates, have had ltr before so no virgin and gets weird when the guy tries to escate, is wifey material... This forum is a jungle.

It's not a black or white 'V-seal is broken' type of thing. At her age, it's a huge difference if she's been in 1 or 2 LTRs and has a body count that is consistent with that, or if she has hopped in and out of beds between LTRs and has a body count in the double digits.

It all comes down to trying to figure out which one she is. You can assume all you want, but that doesn't mean you're right... either way you guess.

 

[Pedrito0906]

It's not a black or white 'V-seal is broken' type of thing. At her age, it's a huge difference if she's been in 1 or 2 LTRs and has a body count that is consistent with that, or if she has hopped in and out of beds between LTRs and has a body count in the double digits.

It all comes down to trying to figure out which one she is. You can assume all you want, but that doesn't mean you're right... either way you guess.

We all are guessing here. At 26 she were in a LTR, she had s3x already, so she knows what's up, that same women who make him wait for it, probably fvcked another guy the 1st or 2nd night. At 26 asking for an LTR based only on 5 dates? Where no s3x happened? Where she doesn't even know how he is in bed? and some are considering her wifey material? One thing is for sure, first s3x then the talk of LTR.

Button line is, she's interested in the dates with him, getting her to places, entertaining her, her only reward is kisses in the mouth, then she saying something like "I wanna take it slow, I'm not ready, I wanna be sure first, we should get to know us better and have a ltr first" with that she keeps dangling the carrot. That's echoes to my from my past.

I hope OP keeps us updated in the situation.

 

[bat soup]

She probably read The Rules but isn't very good at maths.

 

[Bigrig]

Cheers for the replies everyone, interesting to see some mixed responses. Admittedly I'm not 100% sure what I want either. I am potentially interested in her for ltr but definitely will take a while to be convinced, not in any rush to be in ltr but open to it if things go really well with someone. I'll keep her on the backburner for now and focus on others and just see how it plays out. @BadBoy89 genius line btw that I will use a version of if the same scenario happens again

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The girl is 26 and not a virgin.

Once she is not a virgin, she loses all leverage. Even if she wants a LTR, which is fine, she has give it up to keep him. 4th date she asks if they were exclusive and no sex? Come on.

I took this 37 year divorced women out for several times. After maybe the 4th date she asked “where are we?” I said ”what? You want a ring?” She said “I don’t know, I don’t know.” I said “honey, we havent DONE anything yet.” She dropped it.

Cant be a feminist Monday Wednesday Friday and a traditional girl Tuesday Thursday,

Did you end up doing something with her?

And what type of whack job wants a ring after 4 dates?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Cheers for the replies everyone, interesting to see some mixed responses. Admittedly I'm not 100% sure what I want either. I am potentially interested in her for ltr but definitely will take a while to be convinced, not in any rush to be in ltr but open to it if things go really well with someone. I'll keep her on the backburner for now and focus on others and just see how it plays out. @BadBoy89 genius line btw that I will use a version of if the same scenario happens again

Her asking about exclusivity was a simp check, IMO. Only a simp would agree to that before sex has happened.

 

[Pierce.Manhammer]

Alternative view:

She is a “good girl”. Asking for commitment before the deed is something that only someone who is inexperienced would do. She doesn’t want to get pumped and dumped. Remember, like you many have come before and she may have had some experience with guys saying “absolutely, I’m interested in an LTR” then tap a few times and ghost.

IMO you need to decide if you want this to go the distance - do you want a monogamous LTR? If not bro catch and release, it’s not worth the trouble. She could also be a diamond in the rough, IF you want to LTR her. If you’re not sure just move along.

Sounds like you really like her, and you guys get along well. Next time you see her say before you meet that there’s something you’d like to discuss. This will get her very curious and the hamster will go rabid building multiple possible scenarios, this is good. The when you meet after a drink or whatever to relax a bit maybe some kissing and such, say: “<name>, I really like you a lot and I’d like to go back to my apartment and have you spend the night, but every time we kiss and snog you reject my advances, why is this?”

Run it up the flagpole, see if she salutes it. You’ve got nothing to lose.

 

[SargeMaximus]

She’s stringing you along. Dump

 

[BadBoy89]

D@mn, bro. That was a great answer. Did she eventually opened her legs?

Did you end up doing something with her?

And what type of whack job wants a ring after 4 dates?

She has been in my home alot of times. Everytime I tried to make a move she resisted. One time I got frustrated and pushed as hard as I could. We are talking aggressive aggressive moves. She still resisted.

So no I didnt end up doing anything with her. She sees me as a friend.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I told the OP in the other thread that this girl was bad news after the 2nd date, and now it's 3 dates later and still no sex. And for some odd reason I got hammered by people for calling this girl a tease.

Looks like I was right. Peeps, careful who you argue with.