Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

No more favors...

LowPlainsDrifter

Senior Don Juan
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I do occasional consulting work for a law firm.
The office I'm assigned to use as my temporary "home base" is near an HB7s secretarial bay. I like her a lot, but really haven't tried much convo on her.
The guy I work with when I'm there thinks I'm nuts for liking her, but hey - we all have our preferences.
Recently, I overheard her asking some chump to help her out to her car with some boxes. She turned toward me, too and said, "you wanna help, too?" to which I replied, "I'm going to the vending machine for a snack." And walked away.
They fellow I work with there asked me about this and I said, "It's a simple principle - no favors for anyone I'm not already sleeping with."
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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*SIGH*

This is a common misconception about being "DJ":

Normally you only pull this type of stuff when a girl is trying to play on your emotions and make you think you have a chance with her when you really don't. The chump keeps playing along hoping to get some, the DJ knows better and sees through it.


Here are some points regarding your situation:


1) She's not using you. You haven't even spoke much to her from what you said in your own words. She's not playing on your emotions. It seems none of have expressed to allow her to use them.

2) A girl who needs help with moving things she may not be able to handle on her own is only doing what seems natural to her....to have a stronger man help her. Isn't this the role we want to be seen for? Not some pu$$y role to buy flowers, gifts and act like another woman. If you walk down the street and see a girl carrying 15 grocery bags and fumbling around with them, it does NOT make you a chump to help her out. It makes you polite and thoughtful.

3) Playing ultra defensive when a girl asks for a favor or ignoring a girl in need is not being a DJ. It's called being an a$$hole. Your philosophy of "no favors for anyone I'm not already sleeping with" is immature/childish.


I don't mean to insult you, but I seriously think you're mistaken on what being "your own man" and being a "DJ" is all about.
 

LowPlainsDrifter

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I welcome replies like this...

Till the End - this is valuable stuff.

I guess the theme of my post is this: I don't want to start off with this gal or any other with her thinking that I'm the "go to" guy for trivial favors.

Of course, if I see someone struggling with a heavy load and they squeak out that they need some help - of course I'd pitch in.
This gal's a wiseacre, she comes off as a user, and she already had some guy puppy-dogging after her, helping her with *empty* boxes she was using for moving or storage. All this guy did was save her a trip to her car on a non-rainy day - not back strain.

I think the attitude I expressed was less an affirmative statement of how I feel about woman (Yes, it is a bit putulant and childish), than a reaction to times I've gone overboard being helpful and was then classified as the "harmless, helpful guy I can just walk all over" by women.

I've also noticed that the good-looking, non-AFC types that were popular with the women at work never seemed to be the ones asked for help. Women ALWAYS ask the nice, AFC-type guys for help with stuff.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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Re: I welcome replies like this...

Originally posted by LowPlainsDrifter
Till the End - this is valuable stuff.

I guess the theme of my post is this: I don't want to start off with this gal or any other with her thinking that I'm the "go to" guy for trivial favors.

Of course, if I see someone struggling with a heavy load and they squeak out that they need some help - of course I'd pitch in.
This gal's a wiseacre, she comes off as a user, and she already had some guy puppy-dogging after her, helping her with *empty* boxes she was using for moving or storage. All this guy did was save her a trip to her car on a non-rainy day - not back strain.

I think the attitude I expressed was less an affirmative statement of how I feel about woman (Yes, it is a bit putulant and childish), than a reaction to times I've gone overboard being helpful and was then classified as the "harmless, helpful guy I can just walk all over" by women.

I've also noticed that the good-looking, non-AFC types that were popular with the women at work never seemed to be the ones asked for help. Women ALWAYS ask the nice, AFC-type guys for help with stuff.

This all comes down to one key word: balance.

Too often people are on the extremes. You have the chump who allows the woman to use him as a welcome doormat. On the other hand, you have the guys who used to be AFCs start treating the woman like doormats. Both of these situations are unfulfilling.

You must find the right balance between not allowing yourself to be used, but also keeping a sensitive, caring side of you that shines through every once in a while. The problem with the AFC is that this is the only side that shines. It's only attractive in small doses.
 

Pure Drive +

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yea..you uh...came off as an *******.

Till the end of time....:up:
 

Skullcrusher

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It doesn't seem like LowPlainsDrifter was doing anything bad. He was acting his own way. If I didn't want to spend my time helping someone, then I wouldn't - but if it was my girlfriend's request then I'd probably be 50% more cooperative than if someone else asked.

I kinda know where LPD is standing with the "injustice" of the world how the world treats those who are attractive with more respect than those that are average looking.
 
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