No dating apps, no dates, no exes, no hookups: what’s driving the ‘boy sober’ trend?

BadBoy89

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A new trend is sweeping TikTok: #boysober. Its rules? No dating apps, no dates, no exes, no hookups. Thousands of women are uploading videos describing why they have gone boy sober and extolling its benefits.

What could cause this kind of heterosexual exodus? Two words: dating apps.


The apps have transformed the landscape of modern romance, offering convenience, accessibility and the promise of connection at the swipe of a finger. But they have also become breeding grounds for harassment, abuse and assault.

The No 1 reason women are going boy sober is that the dating pool has turned toxic.


When conducted research on dating apps and intimacy in 2020 the majority of women in my study had encountered technologically facilitated violence. This included abusive behavior, receiving unsolicited sexual imagery, being asked for sexual imagery, and encountering fraudsters, bullies and even stalkers.

The decline of dating app use has been steady: statistics reveal a 5% decline in user activity on Tinder,
the leading global dating app, in 2021. Shares in Bumble and Match Group, Tinder’s parent company, have experienced consistent drops over the past few years. This trend poses a growing challenge for these companies, especially with more than 90% of generation Z expressing frustration with dating apps, as reported by the youth research agency Savanta.

A sense of unease and vulnerability is driving women away from the apps. Numerous studies have highlighted the alarming prevalence of unsolicited explicit messages, stalking and catfishing scams targeting women. This climate of fear not only erodes trust but also undermines the fundamental purpose of dating apps as spaces for genuine interaction. My research demonstrates that for many women the trauma of being on dating apps is not worth the potential of meeting a partner – with many indicating they are unwilling to sacrifice their mental or physical health.

As women continue to leave dating apps in search of safer, more equitable alternatives, the onus is on industry stakeholders and policymakers to address the issues driving this exodus. It’s imperative that we confront them head on, fostering a culture of safety, respect and inclusivity within online dating platforms.

---------------------

Thoughts?
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Thoughts?
Thoughts? Dating apps are for fools who are only superficially interested in women to use them as cvm dumpsters. No woman of value would use dating apps to find a relationship, only hookups.
 

pipeman84

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No woman of value would use dating apps to find a relationship, only hookups.
Can you elaborate on how you arrived at this conclusion?
I have my thoughts which are quite similar, but I'm interested to hear your reasoning.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Can you elaborate on how you arrived at this conclusion?
I have my thoughts which are quite similar, but I'm interested to hear your reasoning.
I'm a suspense fiction author and I do character research, so when one of my friends complained about matching on a dating app, as an experiment I went onto several dating apps to 'experience' dating through that method. I was never interested in dating apps as I'm doing fine as creative artist in a variety of social circles.

My 'proof' is anecdotal at best, plus my dating profile was kind of funny as I was looking for 'rope bunnies' and not for romantic dates, but I also have been counselling men and women suffering from PTSD for over a decade, so I'm pretty good at reading people.

Pretty much every woman on dating apps that I spoke with had some kind of mental problem that made it difficult for them to just date 'the normal way' where you meet other people socially and form a relationship through normal dates. All of them lied on their profiles and doctored their photos to be more attractive. I like witty banter and I would have lively chats with women, but when I moved the chats to video calling prior to dates, most women were not as 'quick-witted' as they expressed themselves on the chats. Also, the video calls showed a lot of micro-expressions I recognised from my PTSD patients as signals for BPD/NPD.

I started reading about the dating apps and their algorithms and everything, and I found that actual matches for long term relationships were incredibly rare and that people went off the apps and back on them after only a few weeks or months, meaning no match ended up long term.

Apart from that, 50% of the matches were easily unmasked as blatant 'romance' scammers who tried to manufacture an emotional connection in order to fleece me financially. I'd play dumb for them and string it out.

In the end, my conclusion is that Match, the producer of many dating apps, has a vested interest in not matching up anyone for real, but giving them 'hope' they'd meet their ideal woman. If they would invest financially in their dating future by subscribing to that particular app.

I was successful in snaring kinky women from pretty much all the apps, but for kinky women I'm desirable due to my age and experience in shibari and Hojōjutsu and my familiarity with the Amsterdam kink scene. If you're looking for a particular type of woman that doesn't advertise her darker side, you can find them more easily on dating apps, although there are plenty of kinky social get-togethers where you can meet available kinky women.

I'm not looking for a monogamous longterm relationship, but I didn't see any LTR material cruising by either. Most of those women don't have much of a social media presence, because they are not thirsty for attention and validation, nor do they need to display their bodies to snare any man. 99% of the women you can find on dating apps are looking for ENM hookups for some excitement next to their dull provider husbands/boyfriends who like watching you pork their spoiled wives/girlfriends.
 

Bokanovsky

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As women continue to leave dating apps in search of safer, more equitable alternatives, the onus is on industry stakeholders and policymakers to address the issues driving this exodus. It’s imperative that we confront them head on, fostering a culture of safety, respect and inclusivity within online dating platforms.
What, exactly, is a "more equitable alternative" to dating apps? I'm willing to bet that the idiot who wrote this article doesn't even know what the word equitable means.
 

Dash Riprock

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Cry me a river, girls.

Any woman who's a 5/10 can set up a profile in the morning and have 100 messages by lunchtime.

Women are the ones who ruined the dating climate by having unrealistic standards prompted by social media and mindless television shows like The Bachelor, Bachelorette, and The Kardashians. You take this mentality along with the overabundance of attention they get from OLD and you have Toxic Woman Syndrome. Attention is the drug of choice for women and OLD allows for an endless supply. For the guy that actually lands a date via one of these OLD apps, all he has to do is say one wrong word or turn a toenail the wrong way and she's done, ghosts him, and is off on a date with another one of her 100+ admirers and the cycle starts again. Then, women get in their man-bashing cry circles and whine about how there are no good men.

Even the 40+ year old women I encounter have this mentality. Ghosting, being overly picky, dumping if you say the wrong word, cancelling dates, etc. Age really doesn't even matter anymore.

Wish things were different but the toothpaste is out of the tube on this one.

To pull a line from A Few Good Men...the facts above are indisputable.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Women are the ones who ruined the dating climate by having unrealistic standards prompted by social media and mindless television shows like The Bachelor, Bachelorette, and The Kardashians. You take this mentality along with the overabundance of attention they get from OLD and you have Toxic Woman Syndrome. Attention is the drug of choice for women and OLD allows for an endless supply. For the guy that actually lands a date via one of these OLD apps, all he has to do is say one wrong word or turn a toenail the wrong way and she's done, ghosts him, and is off on a date with another one of her 100+ admirers and the cycle starts again. Then, women get in their man-bashing cry circles and whine about how there are no good men.
Well, these women are easy to avoid if you don't go into the toxic pool where they congregate.

Find clearer ponds to fish in.
 

Jor-El

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In the end, my conclusion is that Match, the producer of many dating apps, has a vested interest in not matching up anyone for real, but giving them 'hope' they'd meet their ideal woman. If they would invest financially in their dating future by subscribing to that particular app.
This is a salient point. Its exactly the same reasoning why the "Weight Watchers" brand of food wont make you lose weight. If everyone lost weight,their sales would vanish,they have a vested interest in keeping you lardy,which is exactly what their crap food does..(to digress,they boast its low in fat,yes! But,they fail to tell you,many of its products are loaded in sugar,which is what is really making people fat)
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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The thing is the normalisation causes the growth.

In the beginning, dating apps were mostly for the same 'losers' who had to put a classified ad in the newspaper, and most people wouldn't even consider 'online dating', but then social media made it so easy to socialise, now people didn't even need to actually leave the house to meet people.

And once they got used to that, Match showed them the convenience of the online swipe app, for the superficial drips who only care about what someone looked like.

Throw in a growing individualisation and more and more convenience-seeking dildos turn to the internet to find themselves someone to have a relationship with. And before you know it, through 'social media', the dildos lose the social skills necessary to interact with women and now the dating apps can limit their choices even more and make them pay for more hope to find a fvckable mate...

And when they can't find a mate, they will try to return to the old ways of wooing women, but they forgot how, so now some 'experts' sell them courses to seduce women they wouldn't have needed if they hadn't been so convenience-seeking in the first place.
 
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Pierce Manhammer

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The thing is the normalisation causes the growth.

In the beginning, dating apps were mostly for the same 'losers' who had to put a classified ad in the newspaper, and most people wouldn't even consider 'online dating', but then social media made it so easy to socialise, now people didn't even need to actually leave the house to meet people.

And once they got used to that, you showed them the convenience of the online swipe app, for the superficial drips who only care about what someone looked like.

Throw in a growing individualisation and more and more convenience-seeking dildos turn to the internet to find themselves someone to have a relationship with. And before you know it, through 'social media', the dildos lose the social skills necessary to interact with women and now the dating apps can limit their choices even more and make them pay for more hope to find a fvckable mate...

And when they can't find a mate, they will try to return to the old ways of wooing women, but they forgot how, so now some 'experts' sell them courses to seduce women they wouldn't have needed if they hadn't been so convenience-seeking in the first place.
Jesus what’s wrong with you man! No one here likes logic. Pffft
 

BPH

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Cry me a river, girls.

Any woman who's a 5/10 can set up a profile in the morning and have 100 messages by lunchtime.

Women are the ones who ruined the dating climate by having unrealistic standards prompted by social media and mindless television shows like The Bachelor, Bachelorette, and The Kardashians. You take this mentality along with the overabundance of attention they get from OLD and you have Toxic Woman Syndrome. Attention is the drug of choice for women and OLD allows for an endless supply. For the guy that actually lands a date via one of these OLD apps, all he has to do is say one wrong word or turn a toenail the wrong way and she's done, ghosts him, and is off on a date with another one of her 100+ admirers and the cycle starts again. Then, women get in their man-bashing cry circles and whine about how there are no good men.

Even the 40+ year old women I encounter have this mentality. Ghosting, being overly picky, dumping if you say the wrong word, cancelling dates, etc. Age really doesn't even matter anymore.

Wish things were different but the toothpaste is out of the tube on this one.

To pull a line from A Few Good Men...the facts above are indisputable.
I relate to this post on a spiritual level.

EDIT: I just searched the hashtag to see who's actually doing this...all these hoes ugly, no guy is missing out.
 
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ThisIsSparta

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A new trend is sweeping TikTok: #boysober. Its rules? No dating apps, no dates, no exes, no hookups. Thousands of women are uploading videos describing why they have gone boy sober and extolling its benefits.

What could cause this kind of heterosexual exodus? Two words: dating apps.


The apps have transformed the landscape of modern romance, offering convenience, accessibility and the promise of connection at the swipe of a finger. But they have also become breeding grounds for harassment, abuse and assault.

The No 1 reason women are going boy sober is that the dating pool has turned toxic.


When conducted research on dating apps and intimacy in 2020 the majority of women in my study had encountered technologically facilitated violence. This included abusive behavior, receiving unsolicited sexual imagery, being asked for sexual imagery, and encountering fraudsters, bullies and even stalkers.

The decline of dating app use has been steady: statistics reveal a 5% decline in user activity on Tinder,
the leading global dating app, in 2021. Shares in Bumble and Match Group, Tinder’s parent company, have experienced consistent drops over the past few years. This trend poses a growing challenge for these companies, especially with more than 90% of generation Z expressing frustration with dating apps, as reported by the youth research agency Savanta.

A sense of unease and vulnerability is driving women away from the apps. Numerous studies have highlighted the alarming prevalence of unsolicited explicit messages, stalking and catfishing scams targeting women. This climate of fear not only erodes trust but also undermines the fundamental purpose of dating apps as spaces for genuine interaction. My research demonstrates that for many women the trauma of being on dating apps is not worth the potential of meeting a partner – with many indicating they are unwilling to sacrifice their mental or physical health.

As women continue to leave dating apps in search of safer, more equitable alternatives, the onus is on industry stakeholders and policymakers to address the issues driving this exodus. It’s imperative that we confront them head on, fostering a culture of safety, respect and inclusivity within online dating platforms.

---------------------

Thoughts?
This whole article is BS.

Its just another waste of bandwith, written by a woman that writes about her feelings that have nothing to do with reality.

"Women continue to bear the brunt of online harassment and abuse. A reckoning is overdue"
" The apps have transformed the landscape of modern romance, offering convenience, accessibility and the promise of connection at the swipe of a finger. But they have also become breeding grounds for harassment, abuse and assault."

Really? Well then, good look getting out on the street meeting strangers you havent even talked a word to. If they are looking for a safespace, it was OLD!

I am sick and tired of western women depicting themselves as victims, while they disqualify 80% of men outright on dating apps for not meeting their "standards".

These bytches are trying to make a virtue out of leaving OLD after they ruined it by driving the "good men" away with their unfounded expectations. Now that they are slowly finding out that (nobody they feel entitled to) is going to wife them up, they wanna stop playing.

I dont know what they expect when they walk out on the streets and confront guys with their demands and entitlements?

They are not going to find any more of those 6 ft, 6 figures, 6 pack guys that dont just pump and dump these mostly mediocre at best women.

Women like that do not know a reverse gear. If anything they are doubling down on their demands and keep wondering why they dont find a man.
 

parabellum

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OLD is first of all, a business. As such, they optimize to keep people subscribed. They do top level statistic and psychological (to name a few) research in order to keep coming up with the next hook,

I wouldn’t blame convenience seeeking men. Heck I wouldn’t even blame women. Cui bono?

In my experience all a man needs to be is above average, and if you’re above average and still struggling with women (at the “incel” level) , there is something wrong with you.

Some women want to retire themselves from the pool, so be it? It honestly works in our favor as who cares about a woman that thinks like this?
 
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