Next time you're too scared to approach do this..

DonJoey

Master Don Juan
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#1
Earlier this year, a workmate of mine and myself were talking about how we constantly bomb out of picking up women we like simply because we get to shyt scared to make the initial approach.
Then we talked about how much worse we feel for not doing and my mate coined the phrase during one of our conversations "Man, I feel so much like shyt I hit the steering wheel when i'm driving just thinking how stupid I am."
And that's something that struck me. Not approaching a girl actually feels worse than getting rejected. So I swore to myself that next time I was starting to scare myself into not speaking/approaching a girl I would remind myself not to "hit the steering wheel" either...i'd use it as my mantra to motivate myself to get rid of my fears and pressure myself into making an approach.
Just by saying that, I jog my memory to the feelings of angst of not picking up or at least trying....not making an effort is the act of a true loser. And I didnt want to be one.
Now whenever I start that churning in my stomach and LoserJoey starts trying to convince me to not do anything - I just think to myself "DOnt hit the steering wheel on this one." and I hear the words come out of my mouth..."Hi, my name's Joe, what's yours?"


[This message has been edited by DonJoey (edited 08-07-2001).]
 

tweeder

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#4
Excellent, excellent, excellent post. And you really couldn't have written this at a better time. I really needed to read this after tonight. A great looking girl came into work, and I kept catching her looking at me. Then she'd shyly smile and look away. Any other girl I would have gone for it, but she was so good looking that I became intimidated I guess. BIG DJ MISTAKE I MIGHT ADD. Now I'm kicking myself like crazy. Now I'll never know what I could of had. We should all follow DonJoey's advice. Thanks!!!
 

DonJoey

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#5
Tweeder,

Now use that feeling you've got to motivate yourself to not do the same next time. Keep doing it until it becomes a natural feeling to you.
 
Joined
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#6
Originally posted by tweeder:
Excellent, excellent, excellent post. And you really couldn't have written this at a better time. I really needed to read this after tonight. A great looking girl came into work, and I kept catching her looking at me. Then she'd shyly smile and look away. Any other girl I would have gone for it, but she was so good looking that I became intimidated I guess. BIG DJ MISTAKE I MIGHT ADD. Now I'm kicking myself like crazy. Now I'll never know what I could of had. We should all follow DonJoey's advice. Thanks!!!
Its so good to know that I'am not the only one to make a mistake like that. That happened to me a while ago and still regret that day. What really pisses me off is that I did not know how to read signals from girls at that time. Even now, There is a girl in my school who stares at me for long periods of time. I even stared back at here and she started blushing. But something keeps holdin me back from talkin to here. On thing I found that some of us need to do is JUST RELAX!! Every girl isn't gonna like you. But you ca still have an attidude LIKE IT. Sometimes I got to litertly FORCE MYSELF to say hello to everyone. But let me tell you. When you start being nice all the time. Other people like being around you, Thus Attracting Girls. So JUST RELAX and be yourself!!
 

Bungo Pony

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#7
This is what I always tell myself when I'm in this situation:

"Go do it, or you won't get anywhere with her. Do it now before it's too late!"

------------------
Hey little girl, I wanna be your boyfriend - Ramones
 

BMW

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#9
" Not approaching a girl actually feels worse than getting rejected"

GOOD POINT!
 
Joined
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#10
I like this girl "Megan", she's really pretty but when i see her in the library by herself I can't go near her. She's the shyer type but I've said hi to her b4 and she has said hi back. In the last 3 months I've all ready had three dreams with her in them. Some of her bestfriends are in my classes. She was even in one of my classes last semester. I'm at the end of the rope and don't know what to do. Any advise?
 
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#12
In regards to my post. It's hard to just give on someone until you actually done something about it. But for some reason I can't do it, I need someone to kick me in the ass when the time comes. Does anyone else have any advise? All responses are welcome.
 
Joined
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#13
It's easier said than done here.

Basically, you can tell yourself to be more assertive and grab your balls to approach her but nothing works if the confidence is not built into you.!

So how do you get the confidence which you have wanted all these while? It seems that I am not good in confidence and need to boost my self esteem.
 

killerasp

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#14
I feel the same way. i feel better if i get rejected from a hot girl than if i didnt talk to her. at least i tried and didnt work out, too bad, it wasnt meant to be, move onto the next girl.
 

RBB

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#15
Hey, this is really good. A big bump here.

I'm gonna make this tip stick in my head.

:up:
 

Scrumtulescence

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#16
The first time I got rejected by a girl, she uppercut me straight in the balls.
The pain of that rejection still lingers to this day in my mind - and in my balls. I'm too scared to approach now......help me sosuave what do I do?
 

MrS

Master Don Juan
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#17
This is in the Bible.
Covered.

Not the steering wheel.
 

S0LID

Master Don Juan
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#18
Regret = Pain

Thats a terrible opener man, Jesus..... Your going soooo wrong!

You want to be thinking, lets have some fun, run my game, see how she responds, if she responds good THEN I concider if I want to escalate.

This is my whole frame. DO NOT GO UPTO A GIRL THINKING YOUR GOING TO SEDUCE HER!!!!!!!!!!! Thats way too scary. A few rejections with that mindset and GAME OVER!

When you open with "hi my names __, whats yours", your just another guy. Every other guy uses this!! Your put into the just another guy colum and shrugged off. Unless you win on fools mate.

Dont put any value into a girl before you approach, for all you know it could be a dude. Just go in witha high energy an HAVE FUN!
 

RBB

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#19
Originally posted by MrS
This is in the Bible.
Covered.

Not the steering wheel.
Yea, I've been going thru a rough patch lately so I've been looking around the sosuave library again. Thought the KBJs that don't look around and DAS should at least read this.
 

GSSH

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#20
that's kinda what i do. all my life i've just let girls walk away and they were just .. potentials.

but recently i saw someone, and i said to myself "don't let this one just walk away, who cares if she rejects you, JUST DO IT, don't be a *****" yeah i said that to myself.

so i did it. and im that much more confident now.

it's a lot easier than people think it is.
 
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