New relationship with submissive B D S M girl going smoothly but not becoming that emotional

Amante Silvestre

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#21
That in such an arrangement one is playing therapist (of course enjoyably, somewhat).
There is probably some twisted psychological justification in calling it therapy for her, but if you don't have an emotional attachments and feelings and all that, then wtf does it matter. It's just sexual.

Once feelings come into it, then yeah, you're playing house/being a willing therapist...or whatever, which is exactly what the OP should stay the hell away from doing.
 

LARaiders85

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#22
R u trying to sell ur mental illness/snake oil in this thread where you have no experiences in real life ?

Experiences over the computer in LDR doesn't count.
You're soooo insecure and butthurt it's hilarious, following me around like a beta cuck.
 

Ranger

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#25
R u trying to sell ur mental illness/snake oil in this thread where you have no experiences in real life ?

Experiences over the computer in LDR doesn't count.
Always. Lol. His assertion is simply not true. Not even close to true. There are plenty of genetic and biological drives that can make a woman VERY receptive to this.

Here’s the bottom line proof of this. AND it’s a best selling novel and is considered a woman’s crack cocain. “50 Shades of Gray”
 
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Chamber36

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#26
If you guys know anything about Jungian psychology and/or fairy tales/mythology, what she is looking for is a bluebeard figure. A man she fears and will punish her. Somebody who she can respect and feel humble towards.

That's kind of what I think. A man to set up rules and when she breaks them she gets beaten. I guess she just gets fvcked and slapped though as opposed to the fairy tale.
 

Amante Silvestre

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#27
It’s can be a game or a guy can get all butt hurt over things. Interestingly, I do things like this with every lover anyway. Even the FWB that I’m seeing now. It’s just a game that both enjoy playing. But there should be a non-negotiable masculinity from the man as you pointed out.
Yeah, a lot of women I've met like that "50 Shades" element, to varying degrees, of course. Some just take it a lot further than others. But when that element does exist, it is still a role to be filled inside and outside of the bedroom.

And I also agree, it can be easy for some guys to get twisted over it too. There's a fine line between being masculine and having some expectations vs. being controlling due to jealousy, insecurities, etc. that are driven by emotional feelings.

Like you said, in the end it should be a playful and gratifying thing for both people, not a method of controlling another person's level of trust, therapy for her daddy issues, therapy for a man's own insecurity issues, etc.
 

Ranger

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#28
If you guys know anything about Jungian psychology and/or fairy tales/mythology, what she is looking for is a bluebeard figure. A man she fears and will punish her. Somebody who she can respect and feel humble towards.

That's kind of what I think. A man to set up rules and when she breaks them she gets beaten. I guess she just gets fvcked and slapped though as opposed to the fairy tale.
True stuff. Women want a strong man that will keep her in line and that is also part of protection.

It also feeds back to @Spaz and his idea of redemption. She has done some terrible things and society tells her it’s ok even when she knows it’s not when taken in context with male/female interactions.

B-D-S-M is a dramatization of these things. It is a reflection of the nature of care and protection. There’s a lot in this stuff.
 

Amante Silvestre

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#29
f you guys know anything about Jungian psychology and/or fairy tales/mythology, what she is looking for is a bluebeard figure. A man she fears and will punish her. Somebody who she can respect and feel humble towards.
You're very likely right about that. However, it should be noted that even though many women can share that symptom and desire, each will have their preference in what role it plays overall. One woman can see it as a purely sexual endeavor that is not to be mixed whatsoever with a romantic relationship of any kind, while another women may want a dominant man of this nature within the confines of a normal relationship; to be handled with some aggression, perhaps even instructed and "punished", but not necessarily controlled, per say, and certainly not "beaten".

When you have a large array of props, contracts and things of that nature involved, you do not have a women who wants to explore this within the confines of a normal relationship. Be very careful with that.
 
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