Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Need some guidance guys...


Senior Don Juan
Jul 15, 2014
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Last summer, I separated from a girl. Prolly not even fair to call her an ex, more like a girl I had oneitis for, we didn't even have sex - we came close, I had her on my bed, her shirt off, but I was nervous or something and wasn't getting hard; so I panicked and made up some excuse and we stopped. She separated from me soon after, and I still hold some regret from that experience, though things have gradually been getting better.

For the second half of last year though, I went through a pretty bad depression. I was lonely, regretting my screw-ups (the above wasn't the only one, just the biggest) with my oneitis, feeling down about my situation and history in general with women, dealing with some insecurities and mental issues I've had since my high school days, and coming to terms with who I was.

While I developed stronger social skills and reached some level of acceptance with my own identity, my work and school spheres suffered. I had a significant breakdown of motivation and discipline last semester, and I actually ended up flunking one of my uni classes.

Because of that, I now have to graduate college a little late, having to take a summer course to get that last credit. I know y'all always say to put your career and personal development over all else ("If you lose the girl chasing your dream, you can find always find another girl; but if lose your dream chasing a girl, you're an idiot"), but I didn't follow y'alls advice and messed up. It sucks having to tell my friends at uni that I won't be graduating with them (I haven't even told many of them yet), my parents are disappointed...

Lately, I've become self-aware of my own tendencies - I really have a habit of overthinking and replaying situations in my mind far longer than they deserved to be analyzed. I get stuck in a loop of negative-self talk...I was pretty much stuck in that loop for all of last semester.

While not the only cause of my depression, and loss of motivation/discipline last semester, my regret with my oneitis was probably the most significant one. And now, I have to carry this with me in life- that I graduated college late in large part because I was mentally weak and couldn't get over a girl quick enough. Even if my classmates don't know about the real reason, it's mentally humiliating...and, what if she (my former oneitis) finds out?

She's a foreigner (international student, one year above me) living in another country, but what if she comes back to visit for graduation and I'm not there, or she's told about it? Ugh, what would she think? Would she feel satisfaction at seeing me as a loser and at a low point (further reinforcing her decision to separate from me), or, even worse - feel pity for me and my weakness?

In the past couple months, I've been feeling much better, have restored some discipline and motivation within myself, but I still hold these insecurities that are holding me back and preventing me from moving forward happily, and making the life I envision for myself a reality. I need some advice/guidance guys...how do I become a better man from here?


Master Don Juan
Apr 11, 2013
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Nowhere and everywhere
I'll give you my 2 cents.

Lately, I've become self-aware of my own tendencies - I really have a habit of overthinking and replaying situations in my mind far longer than they deserved to be analyzed. I get stuck in a loop of negative-self talk...I was pretty much stuck in that loop for all of last semester.
I feel you here^

As far as graduating late, is that the worst thing on the face of the planet? As far as not banging your one-itis, what if you would have banged that chick, she gets pregnant, takes your kid, never wants to see you again, then sends you a bill every month for 1G of child support?

Your life's great, bro.

Any rape accusations against you? Any diseases you may die from?

No? I'm sure there are a few people out there who would like to have your problems.

You will have $hit come your way all your life, screw ups, regrets. Keep going.

If your fam and friends support you, great. If not, you're on your own, oh well. Just try to keep moving forward.

Life. Welcome to it.


Master Don Juan
Jan 30, 2015
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Ah man, youre the prize not the girl. Understand this. Girls need sex more than us. Biologically it doesnt make sense for a man to spread his seed all around, couse what will he do - choose the best baby and forget the rest? Lol. Fatherhood was never a sure thing back in the day.

But it makes perfect sense for a woman to want the sperm of 20 mandingos in her ***** so the best sperm wins.

This is how evolution worked 500,000 years ago - the male with the most quality sperm had the most kids but kids were raised by the whole tribe - it wasnt a property like nowadays couse fatherhood was blurry matter.

Then we decided we should stop evolving naturally to suit the changing environment and made the environment our ***** - the evolution of the intellect, different from all other animals.

So then we made religion up, which claimed that we should only have sex with 1 person all our lives. This was ok, until people stopped fearing the God and the King and the marriage and the family unit was broken.

So now we know we can have sex for pleasure only. And we do. But this knowledge is a responsibility.

Anyway on the basic level, nothing has changed, a woman needs the sperm of at least 20 mandingos every day. The way it works is, she gives you a signal, you act.

Its not "I like this girl I need to act". Its like "This girl made me like her so I gotta act". But youre the prize. You wont like a girl if she doesnt want you to. It all comes from her.

This sounds cynical, but you need to get a grip on male-female behaviours, couse most people today are stupid.