Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Need help with a girl at work!

Taun_Juan

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 15, 2003
Messages
15
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Hey fellow guys this is my first post. I have been a lurker for about 6 month nows, and im finally seeing a difference in my game.

Let me tell you about myself, I am 22 and have never been in a relationship. I used to be very shy and anti-social (I still am but not as much as i used to before this forum). When it comes to talking to women i can never keep up convos and it really becomes akward when i have nothing to say.

Anyway, there is this new girl that just got hired at my job. This girl is everything i always wanted in a girl. The first day she worked i trained her, their was instant kino. When im training her and leave her for a moment she grabs me gently and pulls me toward her.She seems shy around other people besides me. We seem to click well and she seems like shes very interested in me BUT... one day when i was talking to her she tells me she has a BF!

Well atfirst i was kinda torn apart because me and her really clicked well and i felt that she was the only one for me. Seeing how i been single my whole life. But i just kelp it cool and let it go past. Well next day she comes in and looked very tired and i asked her what was wrong and she tells me that her BF and her got in a fight and she got very little sleep. At this point inside i was like "Hell ya maybe i can catch the rebound!" but i said that sucks. She tells me that they been together for 1 year and he she recently moved in with him and things got worse. She tells me she wants to leave him if he continues.

Well at this point i think she likes me and i like her but i don't know if i should tell her how i feel. When we talk im mostly C+F with her, and i feel if i show her how i really feel her IL will drop. Atleast thats what i read about on these forums that if you show a women how you feel it like you sumitting to them that your not a real man.

Well me and this girl works alot together and for some reason the boss is only schedueling us 1 day out of the week so i see her less. So my question is should i let her know how i feel in risk of feeling akward at work if she turns me down? Or should i just wait til she breaks it off with her BF and then catch her? I only see her once a week now if i don't move fast she may lose interest in me.

So i ask you guys. What would you do in my position? All replys would help. Keep in mind i have never been in a relationship before.
 

Shiftkey

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 28, 2001
Messages
3,652
Reaction score
8
Location
Orange County, Ca
Ask her to do something cheap and casual with you - a "date" but something friends do too. Such as lunch or pool. Suggest a specific day and time and have all the details already figured out (where to meet, etc). I suggest having her meet at your house and going to the place together in your car.

If she objects because of her BF, say something like "your BF doesn't let you make new friends?" Try to encourage her to have the mindset that she's independant from him, with any similar objections. If she objects to the day and time, ask her what her schedule is like and tell her to suggest a day and time.

When you actually go on the "date" treat it like you would a real date. Try to get her in your house at the end of the date (and you know what to do from there).

So my question is should i let her know how i feel..?
No! Never do this!

Or should i just wait til she breaks it off with her BF and then catch her?
No!

Keep in mind i have never been in a relationship before.
So what?

Another thing - you're getting oneitis. STOP!
 

Taun_Juan

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 15, 2003
Messages
15
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Thats a good idea to ask her for a date to go play pool because theres a pool hall accross the street from my work, or the arcade. The thing is i don't work with her until Friday and i don't think thats a good day to ask her for a date seeing how she may have plans. So what do you guys think should i ask her for a date on a Friday or wait until the following week to ask?

Also where is a better place to ask her for a date? Playing Pool (which im not that good at), or Arcade? Play air hocky and such? Thanks for the advice keep it comming
 

Azariah

Don Juan
Joined
May 29, 2003
Messages
50
Reaction score
0
Location
Colorado
Friday is a fine day to ask... so long as you skip over the weekend. ;) Set up the "date" for the following Tuesday or Wednesday. Remember that you've got a busy weekend too (even if that really means watching squirrels mate in the park, or making replicas of the eiffel tower out of paper clips).

You don't have to be good at playing pool. The question is, "do you enjoy it?" You don't need to demonstrate your kingly skills at whatever you're doing. Just make sure it's something you enjoy. Being in a good mood and having fun is quite infectious. You want her to leave the "date" with a good feeling so that she'll come back for more.

Oh, and I would personally recommend pool over air hockey or the arcade. More opportunities for kino.
 

Shiftkey

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 28, 2001
Messages
3,652
Reaction score
8
Location
Orange County, Ca
The thing is i don't work with her until Friday and i don't think thats a good day to ask her for a date seeing how she may have plans. So what do you guys think should i ask her for a date on a Friday or wait until the following week to ask?
Why go after work? Suggest a different day - you don't want to go out all tired from work anyway. Just ASK while at work, or ask for her phone number and do things more traditionally.
 

Gangster Of Love

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2002
Messages
2,579
Reaction score
65
Age
50
Location
Los Angeles
Well me and this girl works alot together and for some reason the boss is only schedueling us 1 day out of the week so i see her less.
Make sure that when your works, you works haaad!! J/k, anyway, you should be glad you're only working together once a week, because until she no longer has a boyfriend, you DO NOT want to spend a lot of time together and cement your status as "Only a Friend." Once a week is perfect, you can get updates on her situation, you can ask her to do stuff, and yet you still "give her the chance to miss you."


Well atfirst i was kinda torn apart because me and her really clicked well and i felt that she was the only one for me.
Why are you putting so much emphasis on one single outcome. You should not let the final outcome with this one girl take over your thoughts and direction of your life. Its your limiting belief that she's the only one for you that will eventually cause you to go AFC and act desperate.

Go do stuff you enjoy and stop making this your #1 objective in life at this point. Every week you'll get a chance to learn more and more, get busy with other stuff and "IF" the opportunity presents itself, you are ready to handle it, and not act like a puss boy.
 

Taun_Juan

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 15, 2003
Messages
15
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Thanks for the insight guys. Since i don't see her that much during work anymore i was planning just to show up to work when she does and tell her i was just in the area just to chat with her a bit and perhaps ask her for a date. Or would most you guys think that would seem to needy to just show up to work when she's working?

Also when you see women that has interest in you less do they grow more attached to you? Because i feel if i see her less she will start to lose interest in me? Thanks for the replys.
 

silverwex

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 27, 2003
Messages
1,306
Reaction score
5
Age
41
Location
Eire
Keep posted...

Hey Taun_Juan,

Interesting story, listen to the rest of the guys, they give great advice.

Anyway man, keep us posted on what happens!

Best of luck!
 

StuartScott x 2

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
310
Reaction score
0
Location
H-Town
If I were you Taun, I'd quit trying to hook up with girls from work, just speaking from my experiences though, but especially when they live with their bfs. Come on now, there's millions of girls out there, don't rely on your job as your crutch to meeting women, especially when the girl lives with her BF. I know it's easier to talk to them b/c you work with them but it becomes just as easy to talk to girls outside of work that you don't know with some practice and experience.

About your situation though, you can go ahead and ask her out (just so you won't be saying to yourself, what if.....this happened bla bla bla) but I wouldn't go up there on my day off to do it, just work with her and casually bring it up or if you don't work with her anymore, go to work on one of your paydays and "bump" into her and if she asks what you're doing just be like, "Oh just stopped by to get my check" and then take it from there.

But ME, I'd just leave it alone.
 
Top