My situation after 3 weeks of no contact

[Divorced w 3]

Are you fresh off of the boat to this country? Thanksgiving gifts aren’t a thing. She’s trying to influence you through manipulation of your children. Absolutely not bro, do not tell those kids that she gave them gifts unless you want her back. I am unapologetically vicious about protecting my kids. I can’t believe I even have to spell this out. Man the F up.

 

[stringpuller]

I am on 3 weeks of no contact. My ex reached out to my mom today through text and told her that she will be sending my kids some gifts for thanksgiving in the mail to them. My mom said my ex didnt mention a word about me. It was all asking about how my kids are doing. Should I let her have a relationship with my kids(she is not the mother of my kids but helped raise them for 7 years)? I find it odd she didnt ask anything about me. Why wouldnt she wanna know how im doing???

Sisterhood Uber Alles is real even with your mom. Can be just be aware of it.

Stop caring what shes thinking in this context. Who cares. Toughen up some dude

 

[Divorced w 3]

Sisterhood Uber Alles is real even with your mom. Can be just be aware of it.

My ex wife’s mother wants my d like you wouldn’t believe. Ever bang a former mother in law before? So tempted

 

[Gamisch]

@Hacker , shouldn't we/dont you just wanna have a laugh at Yourself at times??

Like, how far are you removed from the man you wanna be if THIS type of disrespect you have to tolerate to"feel love". Don't you just wanna turn around say FECK this and chase excellence? Discover the best version of yourself????

I mean, the irony is that you displaying constant self hate by engaging with this BS.

She is playing you. And even worse: you are playing YOURSELF!!

 

[Hacker]

My ex wife’s mother wants my d like you wouldn’t believe. Ever bang a former mother in law before? So tempted

How old is she?

 

[Gamisch]

How old is she?

I asked you some? Why don't you respond


Because you are a sadomasochistic person who love to harm himself endlessly.

 

[Hacker]

@Hacker , shouldn't we/dont you just wanna have a laugh at Yourself at times??

Like, how far are you removed from the man you wanna be if THIS type of disrespect you have to tolerate to"feel love". Don't you just wanna turn around say FECK this and chase excellence? Discover the best version of yourself????

I mean, the irony is that you displaying constant self hate by engaging with this BS.

She is playing you. And even worse: you are playing YOURSELF!!

You know what you are correct. I do wanna turn this around and be the best version of me. I will admit this though. I didnt think I had it in me to do no contact for 3 weeks now. I am suprised that I have been able to do this long and I know you are suprised too. Ive found this strength within me to avoid contact with her. Im not sure where I got this strength from within me. I think I realize from all of you that this is all I have left. No contact is my last stand. If nothing else comes out of this then at least she might respect me some bit if I stay strong with no contact. I have been played and thats a hard pill to swallow but today is a new day. Im gonna meet a younger, better, good looking woman. I have faith in that. I have the hard part left now and thats building the best version of me.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

How old is she?

See how thirsty you are?

 

[Hacker]

See how thirsty you are?

I am thirsty right now. Youre right. Im suprised you know that by just words on a screen.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Hacker,
I think,with those words, most guys on this Site recognised your irrational thirst,that you didn't shows a whole facet of your Social development is missing.

 

[Hacker]

Update---I talked with my kids mother tonight. She is my ex before my current ex. I told her the story about my ex reaching out to my mother and even she said its a trap lol. She told me not to fall for it. I will say this though, before me and the ex broke up she kept on saying that no matter if me and her stay together that she always wants to stay in my kids lives. She basically raised my kids for the time that my kids mother wasnt there (7 years) so she kinda feels like a mother to my kids. After hearing all of that about how my ex felt about my kids does that change any of your minds about it being a trap that she is buying my kids gifts for thanksgiving? Does it sound like shes just doing this because she cares about my kids or is it a trap like my kids mother says it is to manipulate and stay in touch with me?

 

[Hacker]

After the thanksgiving gifts come for my kids, shouldnt i at least say thank you to her for buying those gifts? Do I owe her that?

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Hacker,
The question that all the messages including yours beg is,has anyone asked the Kids about their thoughts on this matter?

 

[Black Widow Void]

I'm sure that these are confusing times.
Instead of focusing on the impact that your ex's actions (or lack thereof) has on you... I'd focus on the impact that her gift overture might have on your kids. In fairness, you deserve some slack here. After all, you were with her for seven years and it's only been three weeks. I'm sure that you have a lot on your mind about this. But I hope that you'll hear me out.

If your kids were around her for seven years, then I'm sure that they developed some sort of bond and attachment. If your kids saw this coming and/or said their "goodbyes" to her... then they are now processing and healing from her absence. Their wounds (no matter if big or small) are still fresh. I'm thinking that her re-entry (providing gifts) will likely cause them some confusion and/or reopen any wounds.

If you agree with my assessment, I'd suggest returning the package with a non-confrontational note (being non-confrontational removes any potential drama) .
Something like
"I realize that you meant well with the gifts and it's a kind gesture. I'm sure that you care about my children's emotional welfare too. Although this was very thoughtful of you, I'm sure that you'll understand that gifts from you at this time might confuse them.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Update---I talked with my kids mother tonight. She is my ex before my current ex. I told her the story about my ex reaching out to my mother and even she said its a trap lol. She told me not to fall for it. I will say this though, before me and the ex broke up she kept on saying that no matter if me and her stay together that she always wants to stay in my kids lives. She basically raised my kids for the time that my kids mother wasnt there (7 years) so she kinda feels like a mother to my kids. After hearing all of that about how my ex felt about my kids does that change any of your minds about it being a trap that she is buying my kids gifts for thanksgiving? Does it sound like shes just doing this because she cares about my kids or is it a trap like my kids mother says it is to manipulate and stay in touch with me?

I thought earlier that you were trolling. I was hard on you earlier. You’re really looking for help. I have been running on pure adrenaline for weeks now. I am a single father as well and my nanny was out all week. I only got a nanny a few months ago. I totally get where you’re at.

Look, in my opinion, since you asked, I treat my kids infinitely better than I treat myself. The bar is high. Only you can answer this. She was in your kids lives for 7 years. Is she that bad? If you’re asking this question because you can’t separate your wants from the best interests of your kids, you owe them a better thought process.

 

[stringpuller]

My ex wife’s mother wants my d like you wouldn’t believe. Ever bang a former mother in law before? So tempted

My girlfriends mom after we were broke up. I just turned 18. I hit it twice.
It was hot af.
Had I know then what I known now I could have hit them both. It was there for the taking.
You do what you want but that secs is some of the best

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I am on 3 weeks of no contact. My ex reached out to my mom today through text and told her that she will be sending my kids some gifts for thanksgiving in the mail to them. My mom said my ex didnt mention a word about me. It was all asking about how my kids are doing. Should I let her have a relationship with my kids(she is not the mother of my kids but helped raise them for 7 years)? I find it odd she didnt ask anything about me. Why wouldnt she wanna know how im doing???

Huh? What is a Thanksgiving gift? Never heard of any such thing. Is she sending a turkey? A bag of stuffing? Some cans of cranberry sauce? Some Hawaiian Rolls?

1) She did this to get under your skin and make you wonder why she didn't contact you

2) She is done with you and doesn't want anything to do with you.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I will say this though, before me and the ex broke up she kept on saying that no matter if me and her stay together that she always wants to stay in my kids lives. She basically raised my kids for the time that my kids mother wasnt there (7 years) so she kinda feels like a mother to my kids. After hearing all of that about how my ex felt about my kids does that change any of your minds about it being a trap that she is buying my kids gifts for thanksgiving?

I realize that I've busted your chops a few times in the past, but a tip of the hat to you sir for staying strong on the no-contact challenge. Lots of men have been broken in less than three weeks time. Stay strong my brother.

To answer your above question (and I'm no authority, but) I think that it depends on a few things. If the ex left abruptly and your kids didn't get proper closure, then yeah... allowing your kids to receive a proper goodbye might be a healthy thing. If you do this, you might want to arrange this at your mother's place. This way, you can still avoid contact, but your mother will be present to monitor the interaction.

If this occurs, your kids might be sad for a little while...but receiving closure will allow them to move forward and heal. If they have uncertainties then their feelings will likely linger and remain in 'limbo' much longer.

You know your ex better than any of us forum members. During the seven year relationship, did she ever use your kids as pawns between you two...or was she mindful and careful around your children. If it's the latter, then her motives are likely from a sincere place. Especially, if she has no children of her own, she has surely formed a bond with them too.

Bottom line is if her temporary reemergence will be to your children's well-being. That's an answer that only you will know.

Best of luck to you on this.

 

[Gamisch]

No contact should be renamed!

Men now unfortunately associate it with witchcraft to lure back a already straying woman.

Name it cut- contact, or time to heal for ME. It's about reflecting and accepting that this particular person is an EXTREMELY negative force in your life.

No contact, I'm sorry, CUT contact so I can HEAL ,is meant to come to terms with the fact that

1. You lost frame and thus a woman responds like " every other woman who ever roamed the earth " ( like a primate, ape, animal ect. Like a dog that bit you. Like a cat that got away ect) . ..think about this statement.

2. You're engaging in witchcraft/ female behavior and /or energy. FAR removed from the man you must be.

No contact should be AT LEAST a full year. 365. 12 months.if the relationship lasted longer than 3 years divided by 3,so 9 years = 3 years no contact. The advice to block her number, or even change yours is always laughed at. Untill you understand the importance of no contact for YOURSELF, you will remain a lost puppy in a lion's cage. You must be HAPPY that she is gone. Thrilled. Thank the Gods for the peace you get, so you can finally save money, get things off your bucket list and chase excellence.

Oh, lastly. Every time when you engage in conversation with her you RESET the clock/ wound. That's why @Hacker been crying about her for MONTHS now. He refuses to heal,while she is already getting d1cked down.

 

[Baibars]

No contact should be renamed!

Men now unfortunately associate it with witchcraft to lure back a already straying woman.

Name it cut- contact, or time to heal for ME. It's about reflecting and accepting that this particular person is an EXTREMELY negative force in your life.

No contact, I'm sorry, CUT contact so I can HEAL ,is meant to come to terms with the fact that

1. You lost frame and thus a woman responds like " every other woman who ever roamed the earth " ( like a primate, ape, animal ect. Like a dog that bit you. Like a cat that got away ect) . ..think about this statement.

2. You're engaging in witchcraft/ female behavior and /or energy. FAR removed from the man you must be.

No contact should be AT LEAST a full year. 365. 12 months.if the relationship lasted longer than 3 years divided by 3,so 9 years = 3 years no contact. The advice to block her number, or even change yours is always laughed at. Untill you understand the importance of no contact for YOURSELF, you will remain a lost puppy in a lion's cage. You must be HAPPY that she is gone. Thrilled. Thank the Gods for the peace you get, so you can finally save money, get things off your bucket list and chase excellence.

Oh, lastly. Every time when you engage in conversation with her you RESET the clock/ wound. That's why @Hacker been crying about her for MONTHS now. He refuses to heal,while she is already getting d1cked down.

you’re right but some of us are in a very emotional state and can’t think straight.
My break up was 2.5 months ago. I was talking to her and trying to get her back but I didn’t realize she’s not the person I used to know and the relationship with her could be never the same.
I was basically still attached to a corpse and I’m still not completely over the whole thing but at least I gave up trying.
I ignored advice given here until I couldn’t continue trying because I kept getting negative responses.
Knowing something and deep down realizing something are two different things. I needed that pain, some of us do.

Experienced users like you are a blessing for us.