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My situation after 3 weeks of no contact

Hacker

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I am on 3 weeks of no contact. My ex reached out to my mom today through text and told her that she will be sending my kids some gifts for thanksgiving in the mail to them. My mom said my ex didnt mention a word about me. It was all asking about how my kids are doing. Should I let her have a relationship with my kids(she is not the mother of my kids but helped raise them for 7 years)? I find it odd she didnt ask anything about me. Why wouldnt she wanna know how im doing???
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Youre right its bothering me alot considering I spent 7 years with her. Its messed up
Seven years, and you still don't know how women manipulate communicate.
 

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Hacker

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When a women is done with you she is done man. Like literally you won't exist to her.
Kids won't make a difference.
Every ex I have had in the past always wanted to know what I was up to after we broke up. It may be weeks or months later but they all wanted to know. I think its odd she isnt asking my mom when my mom would probably tell her.
 

Pierce.Manhammer

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The most significant thing you can do to a woman is withdraw your attention from them, this is why strict NC works.

See women are junkies for validation, they may not even want you anymore but they want to know you still think of them, because in their minds lol men must want them on some level. It’s what’s been true most of their lives if they’re 5+.

She knows your mom would tell you about her inquiring and that she didn’t mention you. She wants you hooked up to the dopamine drip because it validates her.

She also knows how you think and knows that you’re considering allowing her access to the kids and is just waiting for you to contact her. In her mind conscious or subconsciously if you communicate with her you must still have regard for her.

I would not allow her access and would not contact her. The only situation in which I would is if the kids were suffering and missing her.

Only you can gauge that, as you know the inner workings of your relationship and what has occurred between you since your breakup.
 

Baibars

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When a women is done with you she is done man. Like literally you won't exist to her.
Kids won't make a difference.
Depends on the circumstances. Just had an argument with a woman a week ago and she was „done“. She’s coming to my place to bang this weekend.
But my ex that didn’t come back for over 2 months might be truly done and in that case especially if you’re suffering from the break up it’s the best to move on and don’t look back.
 

Scars

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Nope. Cutting off a relationship with you also means she loses access to the kids. They aren't her kids, she has no legal grounds to see them. Tough luck. It happens to men who get cucked into raising other men's children all the time.

Continue no contact. You WILL NOT speak to her ever again. And you WILL NOT allow her to play head games and use excuses like this to see you, or your kids, or keep tabs on you through your mother. It's over. It's done. The past is the past. You've been strong for 3 weeks. Don't go WEAK now.
 

Bigpapa

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I am on 3 weeks of no contact. My ex reached out to my mom today through text and told her that she will be sending my kids some gifts for thanksgiving in the mail to them. My mom said my ex didnt mention a word about me. It was all asking about how my kids are doing. Should I let her have a relationship with my kids(she is not the mother of my kids but helped raise them for 7 years)? I find it odd she didnt ask anything about me. Why wouldnt she wanna know how im doing???
Just her reaching out to you :)

You can reach out to her or not, depending if you still would see a potential
Future with her or not
 

Baibars

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The most significant thing you can do to a woman is withdraw your attention from them, this is why strict NC works.

See women are junkies for validation, they may not even want you anymore but they want to know you still think of them, because in their minds lol men must want them on some level. It’s what’s been true most of their lives if they’re 5+.

She knows your mom would tell you about her inquiring and that she didn’t mention you. She wants you hooked up to the dopamine drip because it validates her.

She also knows how you think and knows that you’re considering allowing her access to the kids and is just waiting for you to contact her. In her mind conscious or subconsciously if you communicate with her you must still have regard for her.

I would not allow her access and would not contact her. The only situation in which I would is if the kids were suffering and missing her.

Only you can gauge that, as you know the inner workings of your relationship and what has occurred between you since your breakup.
but at this point if the only thing she misses is the validation why would I care if she hits me up or not?
A woman that decided I’m not worth anything more than
Just her reaching out to you :)

You can reach out to her or not, depending if you still would see a potential
Future with her or not
Bigpapa what happened? I never saw you using that smiley, you seem to be in a good mood today
 

Gamisch

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Never a truer word said.
Why don't we say? : when a DON JUAN is done with a woman he's done with her, like she doesn't exist ".

I don't even wanna use the word "man " because eventually 90% of men are bluepilled beta bytches anyway.

But if you're over here joining the convo you might as well live up to the image of a DON JUAN.
 

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Bigpapa

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Why don't we say? : when a DON JUAN is done with a woman he's done with her, like she doesn't exist ".
I think this is an exaggeration, especially when we like the girl a lot

You can easily next a woman that you do not really like ( as most of the so called Don Juan’s actually date ), but you can not easily next a girl that you actually like

It is ok to like a girl, to feel bad that things ended up and maybe give it another shot if you see that she changed her attitude ( if this has not happened in the past )

The difference between a simp and a guy that wants to be a Don Juan, is that a Don Juan will be ok losing the girl if she is not the woman he liked initially, even if it hurts and feel like sh1t for some time after

Simps just simps and just do not like to lose the girl, even if she is not the woman that once was

Going through a phase like this myself, I am talking with girls but still somehow i look for at least a part of the girl that I miss in them

But I won’t be a simp and reach out to her without her making the first move and seeing a change

Courage is not about lacking fear, it is about knowing that you are afraid but still do it anyway

And contrary to a lot of these manosphere beliefs, it is ok to feel like crap because of girl as long as you do not pity yourself and are a man about the whole situation and know that you have get back on your feet like right now maximum tomorrow
 
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Gamisch

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I think this is an exaggeration, especially when we like the girl a lot

You can easily next a woman that you do not really like ( as most of the so called Don Juan’s actually date ), but you can not easily next a girl that you actually like

It is ok to like a girl, to feel bad that things ended up and maybe give it another shot if you see that she changed her attitude ( if this has not happened in the past )

The difference between a simp and a guy that wants to be a Don Juan, is that a Don Juan will be ok losing the girl if she is not the woman he liked initially, even if it hurts and feel like sh1t for some time after

Simps just simps and just do not like to lose the girl, even if she is not the woman that once was

Going through a phase like this myself, I am talking with girls but still somehow i look for at least a part of the girl that I miss in them

But I won’t be a simp and reach out to her without her making the first move and seeing a change

Courage is not about lacking fear, it is about knowing that you are afraid but still do it anyway

And contrary to a lot of these manosphere beliefs, it is ok to feel like crap because of girl as long as you do not pity yourself and are a man about the whole situation and know that you have get back on your feet like right now maximum tomorrow
My post was a response to the statement that once a woman is done with you, she'll act like you never existed. Now I admit , that statement doesn't say anything about whether she's still in love/ likes the man she ghosts.

On the other hand, imo a man can't reach full "male maturity " without a severe heartbreak. I geuss all of us experienced at least ONE woman who went 180 and became an unrecognizable person . From that pov it is a page we take from the female book of game.

So i don't know if you agree or disagree ,or you just wanna vent: either way it's...natural to feel like shyte due to a woman BUT you have to realize that that statement holds a lot of truth to it:

once a woman is done with you, she'll act like you never existed

"The manosphere " is absolutely right that you better man up and PRETEND like she never existed as well.

This

Is how you walk away from the woman you love. With your chin up, and with pride and honour
 

Dr.Suave

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Should I let her have a relationship with my kids(she is not the mother of my kids but helped raise them for 7 years)?
No. When your kids are 18, let them decide if they want to stay in touch with her.
 

Bigpapa

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No. When your kids are 18, let them decide if they want to stay in touch with her.
The kids thing is a bullsh1t reason to get in touch

Dunno why it is discussed a lot
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Dunno why it is discussed a lot
Because Hacker doesn't understand being manipulated by his ex.

Regardless what she says or does, just NO CONTACT.

How complicated is that?
 
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