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My new crazy

Glumix

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As you may know or not, I dumped my WhateverPD-ex 1 month ago and met another girl about 1 week later. She cames out of the blue as I wanted to spend a few time alone and didn't really expected it.

When I met her I noticed a bandage on her wrist and asked her about it. She told me she cut her tendons. I asked her how she did that. She replied: "Did something stupid". OK... Put that in up my mind, demoted her to FB, made a promise to myself that as soon as disrespect and non-fun sh!t would hit the fan she's out of my life.

Had some fun with her, had sex, etc... The day after sex she wrote me a long text about how she cannot engage in a relationship, I am so nice, but... blah blah blah. This is non-fun sh!t hitting the fan. I told her she can call me back if she want fun, but only fun, that I respect her even though she's broken.

I am now in soft-NC mode. She can reach me out if she want but I am not contacting her anymore.

During the last 5 years, I dated about 6-7 girls. They were ALL crazy. BPD abuser, egocentric orgasm
simulatrice, one girl was crying in the shower asking me to tell her she is beautiful, another wanted a baby so badly she probably went straight to the sperm-bank after I dumped her, 2 of them have had suicidal behavior.

So I wonder, do I attract only crazies, am I too picky and should I tolerate more (nope, nope, nope) or are really 80% of 28+ women crazy and the goal is to simply not letting them enter your life (that's the goal obviously)?

Is this a demographic problem or a common problem? I meet girls online but also offline, in sport club and doing activities.

I think I will recenter to 18-28 girls. After 28 it seems there is only junk girls. Pretty sad.
And before 24 they are only fvck material. Better than nothing.
 

Die Hard

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You say all the girls you were dating during the last 5 years were crazy. But I think if you look back at the time before that, you'll find you had a tendency to end up with these girls too...
 

Glumix

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You say all the girls you were dating during the last 5 years were crazy. But I think if you look back at the time before that, you'll find you had a tendency to end up with these girls too...
Before that, I haven't had a lot of relationship because of a very long one and a very long period of celibacy. So not that much data.
But yeah, I know that relationships mirror your own self and all that stuff. My question is more about demographic.
 

Die Hard

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Well, I think the contributing factor to you meeting these crazies has more to do with yourself than with the demographic.

Certain guys just have a tendency to attract crazies, unfortunately I am one of those guys... Instead of just writing it off to some "most women are crazy nowadays" demographic, you should really write it off to yourself.

Come on, do you really think every other guy has the same experience as you, meeting only crazies all the time? I think you know the answer yourself already...

Just to speak for myself, I've come to think that it's something I can't change. I will always attract them and they will always attract me, it has to do with deep rooted issues from one's childhood and the way one's personality was formed. You can change yourself to a certain degree but I think if you have the tendency to attract crazies, that tendence is there for life.

However, you can do two things:

1. Work on yourself so that you will ALSO attract non-crazies.
So this doesn't mean you STOP attracting crazies and START attracting non-crazies... It means you will KEEP attracting crazies but also START attracting non-crazies.

2. Force yourself to ignore the crazies and force yourself to build up experience with non-crazies.
This is harder than it sounds. The crazies feel kinda "familiar" to you, it's like playing a game on your own turf. Dealing with non-crazies causes you to feel more insecure, less familiar with them and the situation, it's new territory which you don't know how to navigate well. Whereas with the crazies, it feels like known territory which you know better how to navigate.
 

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Desire

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I used to attract emotional unavailable women all the time. I found out that it was something in me. Some lack from my childhood. I read a lot about it and learned a lot, and my attraction towards the ****ty women started to fade.

Google "emotional unavailability"

One example:

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/07/are-you-with-an-emotionally-unavailable-person/

"The ironic thing here is that often two emotionally unavailable people attract without even realising. It is always worthwhile to look at why we are attracting this type of relationship in the first place—unless, without even realising it we find out that we are also emotionally available ourselves."
 

Glumix

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Well, thanks Die Hard. Nice to know I am not the only one having that problem.

I read that lately : http://gettinbetter.com/perfect.html

"There's an old saying, that water seeks its own level, and we are in fact, attracted to people who precisely match our own level of emotional development. Someone who is truly emotionally available, doesn't remain involved with somebody who's not. Wishful thinking can't make another love you or treat you better. The 'perfect love' you experienced at the start of a relationship with a Borderline will never be restored, for once you've been seduced the challenge of The Chase is over, and they lose interest in you (as a Non, you must ask yourself if this has also been true in your own dating experiences). The person we choose to love is a mirror for us. He/she simply echoes how we feel about ourself, and what we truly believe we deserve."

The whole site is a pretty good read to understand why we are attracted by those girls, specifically borderline.

And yeah, you are right, I feel like it's easier with those girls.

What is this?
A girl who simulates orgasms to secure the relation with you because she has a lower SMV or she needs you and want to make sure you feel like a man everytime you fvck her so that you stay with her. It's not castrating but it's abusive. She will probably dump you once she has her SMV restored or her needs fulfilled.
 
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