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My GF wants to arrange a threesome FOR me...

Modern Man Advice

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New relationship after a recent breakup with a different girl. The girl is hot, put together, well-off, etc. Long story short, laying in bed, she asked me my sexual fantasy. I told her. I asked her why she asked, she said to make sure she pleases me. Next morning after we wake up she said she is going to arrange it for me on a trip in a few months [she clearly thought about it since she didn't say it until the next morning]. Said I can choose to have her involved or two other girls. I asked her why she would do this, allow me to be with other women and even arrange it for me. She said she wants to make sure I'm pleased and she'd rather know about it since she arranged it rather than me doing things behind her back.

I didn't say no. I wasn't sure if it was a test. I don't think it was since I didn't say no exactly and she didn't try to say she now knows I want other women, aha, caught you, etc.

I've periodically joked with her about a threesome with her and her friends or her sister (married). Literally was just teasing her. Not sure what to make of this.

My takeaways are:

1) High interest (she also handed me nearly 1K worth of gifts as part of my holiday gifts, she has more but she wanted me to have these now to wear for her).
2) For her it's about our connection and relationship not sex (as is the case with most women). She'd rather see me happy with other women on the side than me leaving for another woman. I think.
3) It COULD be a test, but we've texted and talked since then and spent an entire day together the day she mentioned this plan. Her interest and initiation of communication is as high as ever. There's no indication that she's upset I'm even entertaining the idea.

Part of me feels like this sounds interesting. Part of me thinks, we're a couple, I shouldn't do this to her. I've had affairs in the past while in relationships and it's not something I wanted to do again, especially with her. But is it cheating if she's arranging it? OK with it? I mean sure, I'd love to have a threesome. With my girl and another girl or two other girls. But if I had to choose between that and my girl, if doing such a thing would cause us issues in the future, I'd choose my girl. I certainly would NOT be ok with the idea of HER being with other guys...
While it is quite tempting, this can go so many ways. Many which will be against you.

First off, you referred to her as your "gf". Unless you believe in open relationships and polygamy, this is simply detrimental to the LTR. She doesn't sound LTR material as @Barrister said.

But if on the other hand this is simply a plate or girl you're "seeing" and do not care about, then you can cross that fantasy off your check list and move on. Meaning, get it off your system now that you are practically single.


Modern Man Advice
 

Black Widow Void

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If you accept, be sure that the girlfriend isn't anyone that you want for the long-term.

She may claim (and actually believe) that she's cool with everything, but the moment she sees you having pleasure with another gal... the relationship dynamics will never be the same.
 

Bokanovsky

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Is this the same Asian chick you met on some dating site for “high net worth” people? The one who is supposedly a “10” (I’m guessing she’s more like a 6 or 7 by conventional standards)? Everything you’ve written about her, including in this thread, makes it sound like she’s a complete friggin lunatic. You should be more concerned about being stabbed in your sleep than arranging for a threesome. IMO.
 

joesbigship

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Is this the same Asian chick you met on some dating site for “high net worth” people? The one who is supposedly a “10” (I’m guessing she’s more like a 6 or 7 by conventional standards)? Everything you’ve written about her, including in this thread, makes it sound like she’s a complete friggin lunatic. You should be more concerned about being stabbed in your sleep than arranging for a threesome. IMO.
Basically an escort. A low end escort at that.
 

SargeMaximus

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If you accept, be sure that the girlfriend isn't anyone that you want for the long-term.

She may claim (and actually believe) that she's cool with everything, but the moment she sees you having pleasure with another gal... the relationship dynamics will never be the same.
This. My ex was down for threesomes too until we started searching for girls and going on dates. She got so insecure and I believe that’s what killed our relationship
 

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bmp2cpm

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She could be BPD
Had the exact same thing from a girl who later turned out to be BPD
This!

She is not your girlfriend. You are simply playing a part in a period of her mental illness. To confirm this, look at the length of all her previous relationships. I bet lots of guys that never lasted very long.

For 2, maybe 3 months she will feel like she loves you. But when that expiration date occurs, watch out!

Women use s*x to get a man to commit to share his valuable resources. Women are highly competitive.

Women NEVER share their man unless something is seriously wrong with them.

A man uses a woman’s jealousy to his advantage, not his disadvantage.

Don’t worry. We’ll all be here in a few months to provide support when everything collapses in on itself.

Maybe it will be worth all the drama, but probably not. Good luck.
 

Blacksheep

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New relationship after a recent breakup with a different girl. The girl is hot, put together, well-off, etc. Long story short, laying in bed, she asked me my sexual fantasy. I told her. I asked her why she asked, she said to make sure she pleases me. Next morning after we wake up she said she is going to arrange it for me on a trip in a few months [she clearly thought about it since she didn't say it until the next morning]. Said I can choose to have her involved or two other girls. I asked her why she would do this, allow me to be with other women and even arrange it for me. She said she wants to make sure I'm pleased and she'd rather know about it since she arranged it rather than me doing things behind her back.

I didn't say no. I wasn't sure if it was a test. I don't think it was since I didn't say no exactly and she didn't try to say she now knows I want other women, aha, caught you, etc.

I've periodically joked with her about a threesome with her and her friends or her sister (married). Literally was just teasing her. Not sure what to make of this.

My takeaways are:

1) High interest (she also handed me nearly 1K worth of gifts as part of my holiday gifts, she has more but she wanted me to have these now to wear for her).
2) For her it's about our connection and relationship not sex (as is the case with most women). She'd rather see me happy with other women on the side than me leaving for another woman. I think.
3) It COULD be a test, but we've texted and talked since then and spent an entire day together the day she mentioned this plan. Her interest and initiation of communication is as high as ever. There's no indication that she's upset I'm even entertaining the idea.

Part of me feels like this sounds interesting. Part of me thinks, we're a couple, I shouldn't do this to her. I've had affairs in the past while in relationships and it's not something I wanted to do again, especially with her. But is it cheating if she's arranging it? OK with it? I mean sure, I'd love to have a threesome. With my girl and another girl or two other girls. But if I had to choose between that and my girl, if doing such a thing would cause us issues in the future, I'd choose my girl. I certainly would NOT be ok with the idea of HER being with other guys...
If you dont plan to marry or fell in love with her I dont think its a problem.

But as some folks here said, it can and I think it will be used against you in the future.

Its not a normal behavior in my point of view.

It seems like a future trap for you.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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This is the only way to do a 3some, if you try to take control and introduce other women to her it's not gonna work out well at all, she needs to be in the drivers seat
 

manfrombelow

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As @bmp2cpm said, women don't like to share men they love.

So, in OP's case, it's against the female nature for her to offer you such a tempting invitation.

If I were you, OP, I would take a long hard look at the so-called "relationship" I'm having with her (since you called her your "GF").

Because, if my experience with women is telling me anything, I would treat this chick as a plate, aka a sexual partner no more no less, and thus I would happily accept this offer.

This woman, by all means, is not LTR material.
 

andreihaha

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It's a trap!
It always is.

Also, from reading your posts, it looks like you have some serious relationship goggles on. I know it feels like you're king of the world now and you want to share it, but thing about it for a minute. REALLY think about it...
 

BackInTheGame78

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I hate women that give me gifts...I know it's them expressing interest, but I'm just not a fan of it...
I make an assload of money, I don't need anyone buying anything for me.
 

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Howiestern

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If you love this girl and see her as long term don't go thru with the threesome. If she is just dating material and no more then heck yes!
 

Howiestern

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I hate women that give me gifts...I know it's them expressing interest, but I'm just not a fan of it...
I make an assload of money, I don't need anyone buying anything for me.
There are some that use gift giving to show love. It's one of their 5 love languages. Always bothered me as well until I learned about the 5 love languages and realized what was going on.
 
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