Yea I am still with her...To be honest with you all she hasn't done anything wrong however it is always me who gets freaked out from time to time and blow over the past and accuse her of crazy things.
But she still stands by with me and wants to work it out. I've never seen anyone so commited and tolerates my crap regarding the same issue. If she never told me no one even her close friends could tell shes done things like that.
Maybe seeing a therapist or hypnotist could make me forget things and get on with life.
There is nothing wrong in wanting certain traits in a girl. She might as well have kept this "threesome" stuff to herself and you would never suspected. Ignorance is bliss.
But she told you. Now you can try and try and try, but hey: the problem is not with you, you did nothing wrong. This is just not the type of girl you want to be on a LTR with. Torture yourself all you want, you'll just end up fvcked up in the head -- I am sure she will not, trust me on this. Been there, done that.
I think it's the younger set who feels the need to let everything out - this is absolutely the wrong thing to do. With maturity comes the realization it's better to keep your mouth shut about what you did and with who.
To the op, you did the right thing (in my opinion) by staying with her - sounds like you have a good thing going.
As for you wanting advice on how to get over the knowledge you have and the bad feelings it gives, that's tough - I have been in the same situation, I had no way of "getting over it" but we had a great relationship, so what I did was squash all outward signs of jealousy, kept my mouth shut when mad about it, didn't bring it up and eventually over time it didn't become such a big deal anymore. I stayed focused on priorities.
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Personally I'm amazed that she has put up with your BS this long. Its a shame, it appears you have a real winner on your hands who truly loves you.
If you don't get past this sooner or later, your gonna regret it for the rest of your life. She'll always be the great one that got away. The sad part is, she's done nothing compared to the next women that you'll end up having a relationship with, the only difference will be the next women won't be stupid enough to tell you everything.
edit: at the end of the day, your both young and your breakup is inevitable. So just enjoy what you can, while you can. She's a college slvt and treat her as such. But enjoy it, she treats you good, so soak up as much of it as you can.
I doubt he's going to regret losing her (if he does) the rest of his life Mac.
As obviously if he can get a hottie this obsessed with him he'll have no trouble landing another one or two or three down the line should this scenario not work itself out.
This guy must be like the ultimate DJ or perhaps this chick has one really hardcore pathetic relationship agenda going on to put up with the problems she brought on herself by telling Rudy about her sordid past.
Yeah though Rudy if you want to hang onto this chick you're just going to have to force yourself to not use her pornstar quality past against her from now on and never bring it up again.
Still though you must realize with all that you've used it against her the seeds of resentment have been planted and any possible breakup she initiates with you in the future your having brought up her past will be used by her as justification for the breakup.
How good a girl is she? Well we went camping the other night...we got to the campsite and so I went on a little mission to get firewood.....
By the time I got back with firewood...she has already set up camp, set the sleeping set up, started the fire and fired up the barbecue....How good is that?
I went to the gym the other day and was pumped up about having a great work out...rings me up later on and surprises by coming around to give me a backrub and then finishes up by putting on my favourite movie.
This was just the past week....so you would understand why I dont want to lose her and need to find a way to get over sh*t.
She lives in a house with just all girls and fights with everyone to keep it that way...just to make lives easier.
This is why I dont get it...she is different now to what she told me she did. quite a big contrast.
Your underestimating the power of the mind and the effect of the Chasing Amy sindrome. Look at his most recent post, he's building her up in his mind, he's making her out to be the best women ever, how great she is but the fact is he can't get out of his mind, her hor like activities.
I doubt he'll ever get over it. He'll always have thoughts about her in his head. Its normal, its human psychology. I have thoughts about women in my past, some I'll always wonder.
i went through the same **** , had this girl who worshipped the ground i walked on,was very sweet looked like she never hurt a fly etc...then later i found out she had a "past"..like you it seemed to ruin things a bit, i didnt even want to touch her considering what she'd done.It disgusted me.The relationship ended with her cheating on me,which was not too surprising considering what she'd done.
my advice to you is this,women can be very deceptive.events from her past can be reliable cues as to what she is capable of.
HOWEVER and this is a big however, it does not mean you should dump her immediatley no no .None of these creatures called women are perfect,they are all capabale of sordid acts. learn to live with it,dnt let her past ruin things..Above all the reason the girl is into you means youre currently doing sumthing right,keep doing it,keep continueously sparking that attraction and never lose that dj mentality of you being able to walk away anytime.
You dont have a whole lot of options here. It basically comes down to the following:
1. Accept it and let it go. Forget about what she told you and just continue to enjoy your relationship.
2. Dwell on it and it will destroy the relationship. You might as well end the relationship right now before the drama starts.
Does it bother you, sure. You cant do anything about what she has done and what she told you. The only thing you can do is control how you react to it. As I said above there are not a whole lot of options. This reaction is exactly why I never ask women about their past relationships. I dont want to know about what they did.
As a side note this confirms even more that a lot but not all women do a lot of things that most men would be shocked at. Lets just say they are in the closet about their promiscuity. I dont expect anyone to be a virgin but I am astounded by when I hear so called "nice" girls doing these things.
How much of your energy do you spend watching out for the flags?
I don't doubt that she's a great girl and worth keeping but I think the bigger problem here is YOU, your confidence, your perception of yourself, your self worth, your ego, I could go on and on but I think you get the point.
Put away your credit card.
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I had a 4 year LTR that began in a similar fashion. Although there were red flags at the beginning, and I choose to ignore them because they weren't very big to me. She said I was her first BF, but I had a couple of cool lady friend coworkers who were under the impression she was dating some other dude. Then being late going somewhere, little white lies here and there. I ignored them because it seemed to me that she worshiped the very ground I walked on. Bought me heavy amounts of gifts to the point where I had to tell her to stop. And any bedroom activity I asked for I got out of her. After a year and a half of being together we moved in. The first year and a half was really fun and cool. The red flags got bigger though. Soon she was staying out at odd hours of the night. I passed it off because she always treated me good. And then this last year the good treatment was gone and I was basically going home to emotional hell. I'm not nearly as successful with women as you claim to be, but if things are real good between you and her I wouldn't think to hard on it, but do keep your eyes open (watch out for the red flags), and don't let something that ain't right pass on you. Your gut is also your best piece of advice in these matters more than me or any other poster on here. Watch out for any change of behaviors.
Have you considered that she might not exactly mind that so much. In fact she might rather enjoy it.
Why be a prude, she sounds like someone who likes to enjoy herself? (probably not always in the best ways, but still) so if you do not give her that excitement she will eventually get bored of you.
If she is not interested in doing that with you then you have a problem. If a girl is truly attracted to you, she'd be willing to give you every benefit she has given to another guy before, infact go beyond it (so perhaps you could een go for a many girl 1 guy orgy ).
If she claims to have changed and gives you other such bull**** when you talk about doing stuff with her that she did in her slutty past, all it means is she's not as attracted to you and eventually she won't be able to control her slutty self and cheat on you.