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Murk's relationship - SOS

Murk

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How and why do you even know this?

Men, stop asking questions you do not want to know the answer to!
I searched a name from the list in her WhatsApp and saw a conv with her friend basically saying here’s this guys address I’m going to his house just so you know. Next day friend checks in “omg I banged him t was soo good” yeah I went deep detective, I’m ocd and very thorough to my own detriment.

@catsmeow is right, there are so many moving parts to this, it’s not really fair I expect solid advice from people that only know part of this whole story. I can’t expect people to keep up with my threads/situation
 
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Am Shaegar

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I searched a name from the list in her WhatsApp and saw a conv with her friend basically saying here’s this guys address I’m going to his house just so you know. Next day friend checks in “omg I banged him t was soo good” yeah I went deep detective, I’m ocd and very thorough to my own detriment.
She is a slut in her Epiphany Phase trying to turn you into a sucker. There is no problem with you or your past. She is a danger to the well being of your life.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I agree with this but I also believe the best relationships occur when both people are whole and complete first - internally.

Strive for that, deal with your internal shyt first. Become whole and complete first, love yourself first.

I don't believe you can truly love another if you don't and even this girl, I don't believe you love her Murk, if you did, you wouldn't be feeling as you do. The disgust, the disdain.

Close intimate relationships are akin to looking in the mirror and seeing your own image reflected back to you. The disdain you feel, the disgust is actually the disdain and disgust you feel for yourself.

It's too painful to acknowledge so instead of addressing it, together or alone, you dump the girl and thus alleviate the need to deal with any of it. Running away from it..

Problem is it's still there, festering within and the patten of decadence and debauchery continues.

Apologies I realize I'm getting into some deep shyt here.

Just some things to consider. It's all a journey mate.
You can't love someone else when you don't love yourself.
 

Murk

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She is a slut in her Epiphany Phase trying to turn you into a sucker. There is no problem with you or your past. She is a danger to the well being of your life.
Also your other post, about her putting on a facade, I’ve known her 4 years she’s been loyal as a dog, hence this is such a shock to me as I was on the verge of saying fvck it to my insecurity and committing to her. I read what a promiscuous girl is like and she doesn't have any of the signs, maybe I just don’t know what to look for I’ve never aimed to get in a LTR ever in my life the idea scares me.
 

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Am Shaegar

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Also your other post, about her putting on a facade, I’ve known her 4 years she’s been loyal as a dog, hence this is such a shock to me as I was on the verge of saying fvck it to my insecurity and committing to her. I read what a promiscuous girl is like and she doesn't have any of the signs, maybe I just don’t know what to look for I’ve never aimed to get in a LTR ever in my life the idea scares me.
Women can put on a facade for decades, it takes knowledge from experience to really see it in real life. Look at the story of almost every divorced man in the world and you will know your future should you be so stupid to listen to the people here to forgive her being a slut. She will return to her old habbits in the future and she is friends with women who will support her behavior.

Now that you have seen the ugly truth, you know what to look out for and do background checks earlier when commiting to a girl.
 

catsmeow

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....maybe I just don’t know what to look for I’ve never aimed to get in a LTR ever in my life the idea scares me.
You're not alone Murk, commitment and emotional intimacy scare a lot of people, even people without heavy baggage.

Like I said, it's like looking into a mirror and seeing your own reflection through the eyes of your partner. Being seen, truly seen, totally naked (emotionally).

Allowing them a peek inside your core, your very soul. It's scary AF!

Many couples prefer not to, it's too scary.. so they go along, go through the motions, the daily grind, living life, never achieving true emotional intimacy with each other, never truly bonding on a deep emotional level.

This imo is why there's so much cheating and deceit. And why marriages and serious LTRs break down.

It's become a bit of a farce imo, all the pretending people do and blaming each other versus looking within which most answers are found anyway.

Here, you have an opportunity for something greater but it's takes a willingness to be vulnerable and to be "seen."

I think you have it in you Murk otherwise you wouldn't be so conflicted, questioning all of it, which I think is a good thing.

It's up to you.
 

BackInTheGame78

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It's possible many do it! Of course they hurt themselves doing it, but they are great at taking care of others and suck at looking after themselves.
What I meant is that in the end it will all come crashing down due to the internal issues they haven't dealt with.

Or they end up being in a really toxic relationship for way too long but that isn't really love, that's more codependency.
 

mrgoodstuff

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What I meant is that in the end it will all come crashing down due to the internal issues they haven't dealt with.

Or they end up being in a really toxic relationship for way too long but that isn't really love, that's more codependency.
Fosho, health issues, stress, depression, the entire gamut and at the end of it most to all of those people that they were a helper for won't appreciate them.
 

Murk

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Fosho, health issues, stress, depression, the entire gamut and at the end of it most to all of those people that they were a helper for won't appreciate them.
Stress and depression are symptoms of high EQ, which is why you have a tendency to help, love and care for others. Many will read posts about this and have no connection to it.
 

SW15

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She's had 2 MMF threesomes 10 years ago. 1 she admitted to while I was spinning her (and didn't care about her) and another she kept secret.
Women who have 2 male, 1 female threesomes are sexually adventuresome. Enjoy! You have a Madonna-Whorre complex about this.

I'm so torn because she has great mother/wife qualities, same political/relgious views and she's unvaxxed. I just feel lied to and duped, and I've told her this. I just needed to vent SS.

She's submissive, can pair bond, etc etc but I don't think I can ever respect her.
It's difficult to see how a woman who has had multiple MFM threesomes can pair bond and have good mother/wife qualities. Nevertheless, she could be a decent extended girlfriend so long as you realize her for what she is. Decent girlfriend, no long term commitments as I said earlier.

I'm ready to skip to the marriage and kids stage
No, you are not. You have a lot of work to do on yourself before you can get there.

Her number is about 30. She says that's not high, I say your hoe friends shouldn't be the benchmark. She says it could be a lot more if she wanted
30 is a moderately high notch count. Yes, she could have way more. Most women could. Her point of view is valid that she's shown restraint in having only 30 notches when she could easily be at 150+.

I just think it's better to start fresh with a new girl and vet properly or with a girl who is honest. I met her at 29, I only realise now, that she'd lead a life and looking to settle. I even asked her, am I the first guy that wears a suit and has a proper job you have been with, she said yes, that kinda hurt because I thought she had better judgement. I feel she's settling for the best thing that came along, despite the fact I'm going to be her best no matter what.
This is your insecurity showing itself. You have a valid point about starting fresh but you did let your own insecurities get the best of you and it sped up the failure of this relationship. It would have failed anyway even if you had been in a better place mentally and emotionally.
 

Murk

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Women who have 2 male, 1 female threesomes are sexually adventuresome. Enjoy! You have a Madonna-Whorre complex about this.



It's difficult to see how a woman who has had multiple MFM threesomes can pair bond and have good mother/wife qualities. Nevertheless, she could be a decent extended girlfriend so long as you realize her for what she is. Decent girlfriend, no long term commitments as I said earlier.



No, you are not. You have a lot of work to do on yourself before you can get there.



30 is a moderately high notch count. Yes, she could have way more. Most women could. Her point of view is valid that she's shown restraint in having only 30 notches when she could easily be at 150+.



This is your insecurity showing itself. You have a valid point about starting fresh but you did let your own insecurities get the best of you and it sped up the failure of this relationship. It would have failed anyway even if you had been in a better place mentally and emotionally.
I feel this is a very accurate take on the situation. I think I love the feeling this girl gives me, of acceptance and peace, (finally!) but not her as a person.

We have had a lengthy convo just now, I’m feeling more positive.
 

SoSuave666

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I’m so shocked at some of the responses to this thread. There are some men who recognize game and really live that life. Then there are the women and pansies in this thread lmfao
 

catsmeow

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I’m so shocked at some of the responses to this thread. There are some men who recognize game and really live that life. Then there are the women and pansies in this thread lmfao
It was @Murk himself who admitted he has serious commitment issues, insecurities, anxieties, and some deep dark shyt he struggles with internally due to his crap childhood.

No amount of "Game" is gonna help him with that.
 

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Am Shaegar

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Women who have 2 male, 1 female threesomes are sexually adventuresome. Enjoy! You have a Madonna-Whorre complex about this.
Madonna-***** complex is not a thing. It was invented by Sigmund Freud as a part of his Psychoanalysis. Psychoanalysis is a scientifically disproven theory by modern Psychology, yet Feminist love spouting that nonsense like it's real.

No man on an instinctual level wants a woman who sleeps with a lot of other men to be the mother of his children. This type of women is historically and culturally whats called being a *****.
Every man desires HIS woman or women to be sexually open exclusivly to him. This sexual openess dosn't causes the woman to be called a ***** regardless of how hardcore it gets. It's simply the duty of a woman to service her man.
No man desires to own a Madonna aka a woman he cant ****.
 

SoSuave666

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It was @Murk himself who admitted he has serious commitment issues, insecurities, anxieties, and some deep dark shyt he struggles with internally due to his crap childhood.

No amount of "Game" is gonna help him with that.
Commitment issues is not a thing. I’ve stated it several times. If you want to talk about mental illness we can have that discussion.

It’s so obvious that murk here is just ego bruised. Address this: his very first post on this woman stated straight up he was not very attracted to her. And his interest grew only when she started going on dates with other men. This is the crux of the problem and why I’m shocked at even some of the more senior members on this forum. It’s so easy to see what’s going on here. And I’ve predicted it every step of the way.
 

catsmeow

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Commitment issues is not a thing. I’ve stated it several times. If you want to talk about mental illness we can have that discussion.

It’s so obvious that murk here is just ego bruised. Address this: his very first post on this woman stated straight up he was not very attracted to her. And his interest grew only when she started going on dates with other men. This is the crux of the problem and why I’m shocked at even some of the more senior members on this forum. It’s so easy to see what’s going on here. And I’ve predicted it every step of the way.
You make fair points and yes you did predict it, good on you for that.

However, with respect to bolded, commitment issues ARE a thing, I have a brother who has been struggling with such fears for YEARS, it's extreme anxiety, not unlike any other fear or phobia - claustrophobia for example. Does THAT fear make sense to those who don't struggle with it? Or let's say agoraphobia (fear of leaving the house)? Makes no sense to me, I don't understand it and could easily say it doesn't exist and people who struggle with it are mentally ill.

But that's too broad a statement to make, nor is it the case. Commitment fear is an extreme anxiety some people get when entering into close intimate relationships. Hell, I have witnessed my brother having a full blown panic attack when just contemplating committing to a woman, so I know it's a real thing. Cold sweats, scrambling around looking for the exit, just like our man @Murk . The whole nine and then some.

It is very much a real thing.
 
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Am Shaegar

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This is is the crux of the problem and why I’m shocked at even some of the more senior members on this forum.
Not gonna lie, a lot of advise from some senior members in this thread reads like the stuff you read from angry women and blue pilled guys on social media when confronted with the existence of game, but not the stuff you expect from redpilled men on a forum about game.

If I were paranoid, I would call it a PsyOp.
 

SoSuave666

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You make fair points and yes you did predict it, good on you for that.

However, with respect to bolded, commitment issues ARE a thing, I have a brother who has been struggling with such fears for YEARS, it's extreme anxiety, not unlike any other fear or phobia - claustrophobia for example. Does THAT fear make sense to those who don't struggle with it? Or let's say agoraphobia (fear of leaving the house)? Makes no sense to me, I don't understand it and could easily say it doesn't exist and people who struggle with it are mentally ill.

But that's too broad a statement to make, nor is it the case. Commitment fear is an extreme anxiety some people get when entering into close intimate relationships. Hell, I have witnessed my brother having a full blown panic attack when just contemplating committing to a woman, so I know it's a real thing. Cold sweats, scrambling around looking for the exit, just like our man @Murk . The whole nine and then some.

It is very much a real thing.
“Commitment issues” is a very real shaming tactic used by beta men and women to guilt men who fvck lots of women. End of story. Your brother wouldn’t be afraid of “committing” if Margot Robbie got down on her knees and guzzled his nutsack while humming the prayer of devotion.
 
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