Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Meeting women online

BryanM

Don Juan
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I have just relocated to a new city, I consider myself to be a recovering AFC. Because I do not have many connections here, I have started to flirt with and meet women online. I have a tendency to get one-itis with chicks and I am trying to break that. I have two situations where I am wondering if I should put in more effort or "next" the women as some would say. The first is this woman I met on match. Whe was really into me, and wrote these long e-mails, and we talked on the phone a couple of times and she seemed almost ready to marry me. We agreed to meet for coffee, but her enthusiasm didn't seem quite as high anymore. I tried some kino and the reactions were mixed. She did not pull away with revulsion, but she did not enthusiastically return the kino either. Admittedly I am still a little shy about this, but it did try to use it. We did talk for two hours and it seemed we had a lot in common that we could talk about together. I had to finish moving that weekend so was kinds flaky and did not call her or anything until monday. On monday I sent a note to her that read like this-
"Hi xxxx,
I sent a message a few days ago through the Match mail, asking how you were and stuff. I am not sure if you got it because you no longer have your profile up there. I am finally done with the moving and am looking forward to relaxing and doing things around here now. Anyway, just saying hi and I hope all is well with you. I enjoyed our meeting last week.
Take care,
Bryan"

and she sent me this-
Hi Bryan,

Happy St. Patti's Day. Sorry I didn't get your last letter. I am taking a break from Match because I just don't have the time or energy for it right now, although I did enjoy our correspondence. I enjoyed chatting with you too and am always open to making new friends. I really don't work a lot, but lately I feel like a workaholic. I've worked 30 hours in the last two days...we've been very busy and short-staffed. I'm amazed I feel as good as I do. Anyways, congrats on finishing your big move. I'm sure you must feel relieved. Take care and talk to ya later. Ciao Ciao.

xxxx"
Sounds like she is giving me the friends speech. Should I try something more or just write her off?

The second woman I was exchanging IM's with, adn I thought things were going well. She is out of state now but will be back in a week. I was realy starting to get into her, and we were joking and teasing. She has no kids, my body type, similar interest, and good rapport. A couple days ago she was online and she did not start instantly talking like she usually does. I sent her a hello and never got anything in return. I should probably write her off as well but I am sad and dissappointed she no longer seems interested. I figure I have nothing to lose if I try to re-establish something, but am not sure how to go about doing it without coming across as a total AFC.
One thing I did with this gal is that I always ended it first, not for any game play but because I had to get to bed about 9:30. She even sent a kissing smiley to me. She was always the last to say goodbye as well, perhaps she thought I wasn't into her?
 

No Escape

Don Juan
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I've had a bunch of instances where I'd send instant messages to women who I had been corresponding with, who didn't respond back. I find many women are rude, inconsiderate, and selfish. Everything revolves around their convenience...it's fvcked up. As hard as it is sometimes and as much as you wanna nail 'em, sometimes you just gotta turn the other way and say fvck 'em!
 

ApocalypseCow2

Senior Don Juan
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I did the online thing a couple years ago. It's like poker...sometimes you have a really good run, and sometimes you have a bad run. I gave it up and decided to work on "real world" approaches, because I was wasting time setting up coffee dates only to realize, after about 0.0025 seconds of meeting the woman, that there wasn't enough money in the world that would make it worth going out with this chick. Plus, I get *inifnitely* more satisfaction out of getting a girl's number in the "real world" than online.

Anyway, what I learned from Match:

- The women get *deluged* with emails. Especially the ones with hot pictures.

- You should email girls that don't have pics posted. 99.99% of the time, if you ask them to send a picture in a private email, they'll do so. A lot of girls are just afraid to put their pic online.
 

insomniac

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2004
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MN
I know exactly what you're talking about. When I first tried online dating a couple years ago, I'd get fixated on someone who'd write me back...meet up with them, maybe get a second date, and then get completely blown-off. I just accepted it happens and don't let it get to me.

First thing, when you go from chatting online with a picture and vision of the other person in your head to meeting in real life, it's going to change. Most of the time, you won't be as attractive in person, they won't be to you, or you both won't be. On top of it, there are other guys she's chatting with and meeting. With the first one, sounds like she either wasn't that interested in you in person or some other guy came along. The "I'm really busy" is a typical excuse...I'd move on (somewhat decent that she bothered writing back instead of ignoring you though, even if it was ******** BS).

The only solution to the disappointment is to never get fixated on just one girl. Write to as many as it takes to get you corresponding with several at a time. Chances are, most of them will flake for whatever reason...but hey, it won't matter because there'll be someone to take their place. Also, having several going at a time will have the effect of taking away the subconscious desperation...you just won't care how one turns out.

ApocalypseCow2 is right about the ones without a picture. There have been a few that winked at me which I didn't respond to because they didn't have a picture. Only later did they put one on their profile, and they were pretty hot. But too late, they're already getting 100 guys writing to them now.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by No Escape
I've had a bunch of instances where I'd send instant messages to women who I had been corresponding with, who didn't respond back. I find many women are rude, inconsiderate, and selfish. Everything revolves around their convenience...it's fvcked up. As hard as it is sometimes and as much as you wanna nail 'em, sometimes you just gotta turn the other way and say fvck 'em!
Nice attitude. If I were a woman I'd certainly enjoy conversing with you. :rolleyes:

You've obviously never asked a woman who's online exactly how many IMs and emails that they get a day. Sifting through mounds of messages half of which are from guys reading them the riot act because they haven't answered their email or IM from an hour ago.

And some guys wonder why they can get no play online...
 

No Escape

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"Nice attitude. If I were a woman I'd certainly enjoy conversing with you. :rolleyes:

You've obviously never asked a woman who's online exactly how many IMs and emails that they get a day. Sifting through mounds of messages half of which are from guys reading them the riot act because they haven't answered their email or IM from an hour ago."



What are you talking about?? It takes 2 seconds to respond to someone's "hello" and say "hello" back. They don't have to start a conversation with you, but they could at least acknowledge that you're saying "hi" to them. I seriously doubt they're getting tons of IM's at a time to where they can't respond...whichever woman told you that, is probably lying her ass off.
 

Sweet Angel

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Hi people,
I am new here but wanted to give you a woman's perspective on this one should you care to hear it.

I just came out of a 10 month serial dating period. Most online. I wanted to share that it IS true that we get bombarded with e-mails and IM's and sometimes it is difficult to keep up. I too, was one of those girls who posted on the dating website, did the 30 day trial where I could correspond with others and then once my 30 days was up did not renew. So lots of e-mails went unanswered.

My advice is for you to be persistent with the ones you really like and be sure to get their personal e-mail address in the first few e-mails back and forth. Or give her yours.

I have now been dating my current B/F for 5 months and he told me he was just about to give up with me because I was always so busy. Wouldn't you know it, I honestly was THAT busy and as soon as things calmed down, I agreed to meet him. Of course that was after an e-mail from him that said "I really enjoy corresponding with you and would like to take you out, but I feel like an ass because you always seem to be busy....so this will probably be my last correspondence." I freaked...immediately set a date up with him and we have been together ever since.

So be persistent, don't take crap, but realize that there are errors in cyberworld and if she is truly interested...if you yang the chain, she will respond.

Good Luck!
 

yunghova35

Don Juan
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Mar 15, 2005
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D.C.
Originally posted by BryanM
I have just relocated to a new city, I consider myself to be a recovering AFC. Because I do not have many connections here, I have started to flirt with and meet women online. I have a tendency to get one-itis with chicks and I am trying to break that.

Remember (when dealing with the ITIS there not ONE type but ONE TYPE of chick that you like

I have two situations where I am wondering if I should put in more effort or "next" the women as some would say. The first is this woman I met on match. Whe was really into me, and wrote these long e-mails, and we talked on the phone a couple of times and she seemed almost ready to marry me. We agreed to meet for coffee, but her enthusiasm didn't seem quite as high anymore. I tried some kino and the reactions were mixed. She did not pull away with revulsion, but she did not enthusiastically return the kino either.

One thing I notice here are guy looking for a quick fix, or a instant fix, soem people are different some woman may respond with open arms, some may not. She didnt pull away or say eww get off me you freak so I dont think you did bad.

Admittedly I am still a little shy about this, but it did try to use it. We did talk for two hours and it seemed we had a lot in common that we could talk about together. I had to finish moving that weekend so was kinds flaky and did not call her or anything until monday. On monday I sent a note to her that read like this-

Why did you send her a note, INSTEAD of calling her? PC's are great but human interaction is better (even if it is the phone)

"Hi xxxx,
I sent a message a few days ago through the Match mail, asking how you were and stuff. I am not sure if you got it because you no longer have your profile up there. I am finally done with the moving and am looking forward to relaxing and doing things around here now. Anyway, just saying hi and I hope all is well with you. I enjoyed our meeting last week.
Take care,
Bryan"

and she sent me this-
Hi Bryan,

Happy St. Patti's Day. Sorry I didn't get your last letter. I am taking a break from Match because I just don't have the time or energy for it right now, although I did enjoy our correspondence.

Correspondence???? wdf what are you guys sending invoices to each other??? see THIS is why you should have CALLED her.

I enjoyed chatting with you too and am always open to making new friends.

You do reailize HOW she sees you now right??

I really don't work a lot, but lately I feel like a workaholic. I've worked 30 hours in the last two days...we've been very busy and short-staffed. I'm amazed I feel as good as I do. Anyways, congrats on finishing your big move. I'm sure you must feel relieved. Take care and talk to ya later. Ciao Ciao.

xxxx"
Sounds like she is giving me the friends speech. Should I try something more or just write her off?

I say, if you're not gonna be a MAN and take charge of this (be C and F and LEAD and for god sakes stop emailing her CALL HER) then maybe dating her or most females is not your thing.

The second woman I was exchanging IM's with, adn I thought things were going well. She is out of state now but will be back in a week. I was realy starting to get into her, and we were joking and teasing. She has no kids, my body type

THE HELL, how and WHY do you know this???

, similar interest, and good rapport. A couple days ago she was online and she did not start instantly talking like she usually does. I sent her a hello and never got anything in return.

Could be something, could be nothing, dont think about it. You have to remmeber your using a PC and things arent always perfect.

I should probably write her off as well but I am sad and dissappointed she no longer seems interested. I figure I have nothing to lose if I try to re-establish something, but am not sure how to go about doing it without coming across as a total AFC.

You could try NOT comming across as an AFC (be a MAN)

One thing I did with this gal is that I always ended it first, not for any game play but because I had to get to bed about 9:30. She even sent a kissing smiley to me. She was always the last to say goodbye as well, perhaps she thought I wasn't into her?

No she didn't but I dont think you defined anything for these women you didnt "give them that POWERFUL sense of attraction and without that, you basicaly there new little buddie

.
 
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