Marriage question

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

We're talking about marriage... which blood relative are you getting married to..? lol

Children out of wedlock are why we have Gen Z and the trannies.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Children out of wedlock are why we have Gen Z and the trannies.

Getting married makes you blood relatives?
The entirety of Gen Z has unwed parents?
Having children out of wedlock makes you trans?

How are you 43 and holding these ridiculous opinions?
More importantly, why are you even here?

 

[EyeBRollin]

The entirety of Gen Z has unwed parents?
Having children out of wedlock makes you trans?

Not the entirety, but the point is accurate. Children reared outside of wedlock, raised in a non traditional household are more likely to be fvcked up. Just the facts..

 

[Money & Muscle]

Children reared outside of wedlock, raised in a non traditional household are more likely to be fvcked up.

but pointing the entirety of Gen Z and trans at this one factor? This dude is just looking to rage at something.

Children raised without fathers have more issues than those who are raised with fathers present. This is known.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Don’t do it ….

Just like Grandmaster Flash warned you back in the day in White Lines...

 

[EyeBRollin]

but pointing the entirety of Gen Z and trans at this one factor? This dude is just looking to rage at something.

Children raised without fathers have more issues than those who are raised with fathers present. This is known.

The point was received, albeit the generalization was extreme. What he’s saying is generally true.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

In all honesty though, there is no point to getting married unless you are religious. Saying this as a married man.

Children raised without fathers have more issues than those who are raised with fathers present. This is known.

I used to be married to a Christian girl, but the vows didn't stick. However, my reason was because we were aiming to have children, so I married her to make sure I didn't get into a custody battle. In Dutch law, married men have same custody rights as the women, but if you're not married, you can register as the father of the children, but you won't get the same rights when you split up.

Our two children are registered to my address and I'm the primary caregiver, so my ex cannot take the kids and move away from me.
Plus she has to pay child support, but that's another story.

 

[Money & Muscle]

I used to be married to a Christian girl, but the vows didn't stick. However, my reason was because we were aiming to have children, so I married her to make sure I didn't get into a custody battle. In Dutch law, married men have same custody rights as the women, but if you're not married, you can register as the father of the children, but you won't get the same rights when you split up.

Our two children are registered to my address and I'm the primary caregiver, so my ex cannot take the kids and move away from me.
Plus she has to pay child support, but that's another story.

Jeez, Dutch law actually protects men? Guess I'll be moving

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Jeez, Dutch law actually protects men? Guess I'll be moving

When you want to divorce in NL and you have children, you have to provide a 'co-parenting contract' where you specify the address where the children have their main domicile, who pays for what, which days they are with what parent, even the logistics of how and when they go to the other parent. If you're not amicable enough to prep that contract, you will both have to hire lawyers and go to court and have the judge decide who/what/where/how/et cetera.
Since my ex wanted to buy a house (and wanted to speed up the divorce, to split up the finances and get a mortgage), I could put favourable terms and conditions into the contract. If she didn't agree, we could always disagree and go to court, which would most likely be to her disadvantage.

 

[BeExcellent]

I’m with @EyeBRollin on this one. You should know by 6 months if the relationship has legs so to speak. You continue vetting of course as you go.

My first husband proposed about 5 months in, we were married 6 weeks later, although we had already known each other 3 years or so before we started dating. That relationship lasted about 20 years and we had 3 kids. An intact family is important for child rearing I don’t care what anybody says & statistically this bears out. Nuclear families are more stable.

My current husband proposed 9 months in, moved in at 10 months and we got married at 26 months.

My son has been with his gf 4.5years and expects to propose after college graduation next spring. I’m not sure what they are thinking about length of engagement but he will have orders so it might be sooner rather than later.

You have to know what you are looking for and what you value. In a partner & for your life. Your choice of partner to marry is a choice that will have far reaching consequences.

Choose wisely & well.

 

[stringpuller]

How long do two people typically date before they become engaged, or married?

I dont know but you better choose wisely. Atleast 3-5 ,yrs if thats your gig

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

Getting married makes you blood relatives?
The entirety of Gen Z has unwed parents?
Having children out of wedlock makes you trans?

How are you 43 and holding these ridiculous opinions?
More importantly, why are you even here?

You don't necessarily have to be married to make them.

I'm here to meet people my own age who understand what the hell I'm talking about.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

This idea that kids grow up better with parents who are married is ridiculous and totally unfounded, the basis of it is that children raised by single parents are typically incredibly messed up, something like 70% of men raised by single mothers end up in jail at some point, however to make a statement of comparison of "Hey, that didn't happen so this is better than that" and to conflate single parent statistics with people who aren't married is just dishonest, plain and simple.

Look up statistics of kids who go through divorces and tell me that's any better, 50% of couples get divorced and that doesn't exclude the ones with kids. Divorce is hard on children. Marriage is simply a legal status, anything else is some blue pill nonsense.

I don't condone single parenthood at all, but raising your kid together without being married is statistically no different than being married, the only exception being those ones don't go through ugly divorces. Even a general separation won't leave one side disenfranchised like a divorce will and if it does, well, make it work I guess or don't, but either way court intervention without a divorce is fine.

Being perfectly honest, most kids general make up is 90% complete past toddlerhood outside of experiencing trauma, kids are resilient to general struggle, it's the coddling that creates dependency. A child's trajection being messed up at the age of 2 seems totally unrealistic but that's exactly where the problematic years lay, mainly in socializing, if your child isn't used to being around other children by the age of 3-4 you have doomed your child to be a social outcast for life. This is where the problems of single parenthood lay and create the foundations for further problems to occur. Marriage does nothing for you here unless it's allowing you to be a part of a community which you can do without being married. This is directly related to poverty and coddling, both of which have nothing to do with the parents being married or not.

 

[LTG71]

Kids grow up better when there is stability in their lives. They model what they observe and what they receive from their parents. Monkey see, monkey do. Toddlers are not able to speak but they are able to observe and listen. If they are confronted with chaos and fear, they will be imprinted with attachment issues. A couple could be married but a complete sh!t show. Their kids would not fair out well with all this turmoil. Single parents should not be disqualified if they are providing a healthy environment. I know a few single dads that have sole custody and it makes you wonder, how sh!tty was his wife that he got the kids?

 

[jamesfromhouston]

I see a few of your mentioned marriage material. What makes a someone marriage material? What's the criteria?

 

[CornbreadFed]

I see a few of your mentioned marriage material. What makes a someone marriage material? What's the criteria?

Depends on the man. I see men locking down women that I would only use for recreational use only or not even stick my weenie in.

 

[obelisk]

This idea that kids grow up better with parents who are married is ridiculous and totally unfounded, the basis of it is that children raised by single parents are typically incredibly messed up, something like 70% of men raised by single mothers end up in jail at some point, however to make a statement of comparison of "Hey, that didn't happen so this is better than that" and to conflate single parent statistics with people who aren't married is just dishonest, plain and simple.

Look up statistics of kids who go through divorces and tell me that's any better, 50% of couples get divorced and that doesn't exclude the ones with kids. Divorce is hard on children. Marriage is simply a legal status, anything else is some blue pill nonsense.

I don't condone single parenthood at all, but raising your kid together without being married is statistically no different than being married, the only exception being those ones don't go through ugly divorces. Even a general separation won't leave one side disenfranchised like a divorce will and if it does, well, make it work I guess or don't, but either way court intervention without a divorce is fine.

Being perfectly honest, most kids general make up is 90% complete past toddlerhood outside of experiencing trauma, kids are resilient to general struggle, it's the coddling that creates dependency. A child's trajection being messed up at the age of 2 seems totally unrealistic but that's exactly where the problematic years lay, mainly in socializing, if your child isn't used to being around other children by the age of 3-4 you have doomed your child to be a social outcast for life. This is where the problems of single parenthood lay and create the foundations for further problems to occur. Marriage does nothing for you here unless it's allowing you to be a part of a community which you can do without being married. This is directly related to poverty and coddling, both of which have nothing to do with the parents being married or not.

This is actually a good point that really gets glossed over regarding the impact of marriage on children. We often argue it from the point of children needing two parents and thus they should be married. Children need both parents living together to provide a stable, united home front. Marriage is the most normal way for that to occur.

This is definitely an area of society that needs to be discussed with new eyes as to how to make this happen in light of how punitive and destructive divorce and family court is on men and children. The feminist hivemind has no intention of letting go of the purse strings and chains though. It is one way to redistribute wealth and control to the government and out of the hands of fathers. Men are walking away from marriage for good reason. Not sure what the middle ground is given cohabitation laws currently.

 

[obelisk]

With regards to time to marriage, you also need to be conscious of the flip side. If you're getting 6/12/24 months into a relationship where you're seeking marriage and you still aren't comfortable with potentially marrying that person then you really need to consider cutting ties and walking away. Too many guys (and women to be fair) ignore their gut instinct, think things will improve and then get engaged/wife up the girl because they can't cope with the idea of tossing away 1-2 yrs of their time on the wrong woman.

 

[Manure Spherian]

This is definitely an area of society that needs to be discussed with new eyes as to how to make this happen in light of how punitive and destructive divorce and family court is on men and children.

Stardusk put out a great video this week on the topic.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but a lot of people are still living off the Boomer's Golden Era. It is time to swallow the fact that this period in human history was unique and everything is just going back to how it was. Marriage and dating in general have always been the hardest on the bottom 90% of men. I read a thing that the US lead the world in divorces in 1913 or something, so bad marriages aren't a recent thing. One of the first things you read in the Bible is about toxic female manipulation behavior. All of this crap isn't new, it was just temporarily buried.