Marriage? Please convince me otherwise.

wifehunter

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#21
Traditional legal marriages are a scam and destined to fail. 50% is an F for failure. Don't buy into this broken system. Do not sign any of the documents.

Find out what an unregulated historical private marriage is. Research the history of marriage, starting at the beginning.
 

rando5495

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#22
I see no benefit in marriage for the higher earning person, or person with significantly more assets these days. Now, notice I've said person, not man. The courts traditionally take from the one with more and give to the one with less. In the past, this has traditionally been men. However, this is a changing, and we have to adjust with the times. If a person wants to have kids and raise a family, no problem. They should for for an LTR. No reason to sign a contract with the State. Love for women and love for men are different. The only one's who win in a divorce are lawyers. If the person really "loves" and wants to build a family with another person, a piece of paper shouldn't be the be all end all. However, if the person refuses to continue on with another person w/o a certificate from the State, then that person, in my opinion, is looking for a backup plan.

Any person with significant assets, high income or their own business would be crazy to marry. The courts and lawyers will literally bankrupt you should sh!t get sour. I know many people that have been destroyed as a result of a divorce. They are not the same when they don't have a pot to piss in and have legal bills, alimony and child support to pay. If you're in an LTR, then at least two things would be eliminated from that equation.
Some of us associate marriage and kids together because of how we were brought up. It's not actually logical tbh.

Having kids outside of marriage just seems a bit insecure to me - worryingly close to the single mother thing.
 

AJ84

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#23
That's ironic as fvck. Because the number one female communication standard is being indirect.



I guess what i'm trying to say is that it seems intellectually dishonest to repeatedly ask people to convince you on a position which you have no intention of being convinced of.

As the fellow said above, that's a silly game.
You just nailed it on the head Rando. And this is probably the 4th or 5th thread this year where members are being asked to argue the case for marriage to brick wall mentalities.
 

AJ84

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#24
Everyone has their reasons for being for and against marriage and they are valid reasons for each person. luckily we live in a time where we don’t have to get married if we don’t want to. I wish we could end this thread topic once and for all.
 

R.U.G.

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#25
Traditional legal marriages are a scam and destined to fail. 50% is an F for failure. Don't buy into this broken system. Do not sign any of the documents.

Find out what an unregulated historical private marriage is. Research the history of marriage, starting at the beginning.
But I thought you were the wife hunter? Aren't you hunting for a wife? ;'p


Some of us associate marriage and kids together because of how we were brought up. It's not actually logical tbh.

Having kids outside of marriage just seems a bit insecure to me - worryingly close to the single mother thing.
Once you go through the family court system, you would understand. I didn't, but I know many who have and they were destroyed mentally, physically, emotionally and financially. There is nothing in the bible that states a man and a woman needs permission from the State to get a license in order to have kids. Pre-nups do not work. Irrevocable trusts do, but that still doesn't protect a person from commingling the assets once out of the trusts nor protects the person from legal fees. The later are the real killer. It sucks, but this is the world that we live in now.
 

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BeExcellent

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#26
I see no benefit in marriage for the higher earning person, or person with significantly more assets these days. Now, notice I've said person, not man. The courts traditionally take from the one with more and give to the one with less. In the past, this has traditionally been men. However, this is a changing, and we have to adjust with the times. If a person wants to have kids and raise a family, no problem. They should for for an LTR. No reason to sign a contract with the State. Love for women and love for men are different. The only one's who win in a divorce are lawyers. If the person really "loves" and wants to build a family with another person, a piece of paper shouldn't be the be all end all. However, if the person refuses to continue on with another person w/o a certificate from the State, then that person, in my opinion, is looking for a backup plan.

Any person with significant assets, high income or their own business would be crazy to marry. The courts and lawyers will literally bankrupt you should sh!t get sour. I know many people that have been destroyed as a result of a divorce. They are not the same when they don't have a pot to piss in and have legal bills, alimony and child support to pay. If you're in an LTR, then at least two things would be eliminated from that equation.
I agree whole heartedly with this. I'm a woman as many know...and I was also the high income/asset spouse in the marriage. Navigating divorce court was a harrowing experience because the courts basically seek to equalize each parent's ability to provide for the children through an asset redistribution program. For a non-working spouse (my ex was a FT stay at home father for 10 years) the idea is that divorce seeks to equalize means and compensate the spouse who dropped out of the workforce for essentially lost potential earnings. It's still wealth redistribution in my mind and SCARY.

But intact families function best IMO with a parent at home raising children. My kids received benefits from having their dad as the primary caregiver. That does have value.

As many here know I was able to work out an arrangement with my ex that did not involve chopping my hard earned assets in half. He benefits, I benefit, our kids benefit. Next week I sign papers on the final trust documents that take care of me, my ex, and my kids. And it is impervious to anyone else I or my ex become involved with. My BF doesn't like the way I handle that business. My response? Butt out, it doesn't involve you.

I agree about not marrying again as a financially secure person. I'm done having children, there is no need for a nuclear family unit anymore, and like @R.U.G. I find the risks substantially outweigh the benefits for me in middle age. It's a different kettle of fish for those who are young and might want a family one day.

So each person must keep their own counsel on this issue and act accordingly.
 

Spaz

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#27
If a man wants to hv kids and get married, just do it.

Don't think too much abt divorce etc. A successful man is not afraid of making mistakes.

It's like flying or driving a car. You want to get somewhere, then take a risk.

If u r enjoying the situation u r currently in, then don't get married.
 

R.U.G.

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#28
If a man wants to hv kids and get married, just do it.

Don't think too much abt divorce etc. A successful man is not afraid of making mistakes.

It's like flying or driving a car. You want to get somewhere, then take a risk.

If u r enjoying the situation u r currently in, then don't get married.
No words...
 
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rando5495

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#32
You just nailed it on the head Rando. And this is probably the 4th or 5th thread this year where members are being asked to argue the case for marriage to brick wall mentalities.
Which would be fine if people were pressuring others to get married. But nobody here is.

I don't see how "do whatever you want" can be any sort of controversial opinion whatsoever lol.

But I likewise don't particularly feel the need to justify myself to a young lad in spiderman pyjamas either (hence why I usually avoid these threads). And I really do think that this is a problem of a generation gap between young men of their late teens (seemingly early and even mid 20's now) and men in their 30's and 40's. A gap which used to be bridged through good familial relations, and various coming of age rituals - but now often isn't.
 

brixlingo

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#33
Which would be fine if people were pressuring others to get married. But nobody here is.

I don't see how "do whatever you want" can be any sort of controversial opinion whatsoever lol.

But I likewise don't particularly feel the need to justify myself to a young lad in spiderman pyjamas either (hence why I usually avoid these threads). And I really do think that this is a problem of a generation gap between young men of their late teens (seemingly early and even mid 20's now) and men in their 30's and 40's. A gap which used to be bridged through good familial relations, and various coming of age rituals - but now often isn't.
I will genuinely like to know why marriage is a good idea. I layed my ideas out open to be criticized but I have yet to get a good enough arguement to dispute it. Look outside. Most men (probably the people reading this) and women are completely mediocre in life. They get married as another way to avoid life like watching TV. Truly attractive and great great people are HIGHLY hesitant as to who they surround themselves with. A high, high quality man will ONLY be looking at the top girls to even CONSIDER being with, let alone marry. And what do you think the chances are that he will meet his match? Probably 1/1000000. As you go up the pyramid , the height just gets steeper and steeper.
 

Alvafe

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#34
I will genuinely like to know why marriage is a good idea. I layed my ideas out open to be criticized but I have yet to get a good enough arguement to dispute it. Look outside. Most men (probably the people reading this) and women are completely mediocre in life. They get married as another way to avoid life like watching TV. Truly attractive and great great people are HIGHLY hesitant as to who they surround themselves with. A high, high quality man will ONLY be looking at the top girls to even CONSIDER being with, let alone marry. And what do you think the chances are that he will meet his match? Probably 1/1000000. As you go up the pyramid , the height just gets steeper and steeper.
nope people get married because most of they parents are, the whole marriage is sold like the happy forever end, you find your partner for life and will be happy, that is the selling point, not the whole mess with is the thing, then when they figure out its not the merry thing they hoped for they look for the greener side of the fence and... you know how it goes.

in a more pragmatical thinking marriage really bring nothing to the table who could be considerate good, you will get someone who will want your time, money, future, you will be forbidden in do a lot of things, and a lot of things are bad to do, then when thing don't work out you are forced to part with half your life (if time is money and she get half she get half of your life), so why you should marry?
 

rando5495

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#35
Forgot about this, but as it got bumped, so...

I will genuinely like to know why marriage is a good idea. I layed my ideas out open to be criticized but I have yet to get a good enough arguement to dispute it. Look outside. Most men (probably the people reading this) and women are completely mediocre in life. They get married as another way to avoid life like watching TV. Truly attractive and great great people are HIGHLY hesitant as to who they surround themselves with. A high, high quality man will ONLY be looking at the top girls to even CONSIDER being with, let alone marry. And what do you think the chances are that he will meet his match? Probably 1/1000000. As you go up the pyramid , the height just gets steeper and steeper.
To start a family, you fvcking donkey.

When people start telling you the most natural things in life are wrong, that's how you know that you are dealing with extremism.

Don't know what you're talking about "mediocre". Was your father mediocre? How about his father, and his father's father?

Fvcking juvenile conversation.
 
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lamath

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#36
I do believe that there is a time in your life to settle down, but it really got to be with the right person and thats not ez to find.
I dont want to be old and alone.

I rather be in a LTR than a married JCARREY.png
 

Ranger

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#37
You are aware that 50 % of marriages DO NOT end in divorce right???...…. lol...…. the "absolutists" on SS kill me sometimes...they really do.:cool:
A skewed statistic. Its 50% of marriages end in divorce per year. The next year is 50% again.
This is very deceiving.
 

brixlingo

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#38
Forgot about this, but as it got bumped, so...



To start a family, you fvcking donkey.

When people start telling you the most natural things in life are wrong, that's how you know that you are dealing with extremism.

Don't know what you're talking about "mediocre". Was your father mediocre? How about his father, and his father's father?

Fvcking juvenile conversation.
I would never get married in America and you have totally disregarded the whole point by dealing with natural stuff. Is a woman taking half your net worth because she isn’t attracted to you anymore natural? What about splitting the kids after a divorce? Yeah that sounds natural.

Read the argument next time you respond, you donkey
 

redskinsfan92

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#39
I wouldn't get married at this point in time. It would be stupid in my case. That is each man's own decision. The shame that society tries to cast on sibgle men though is a problem.
 

rando5495

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#40
I would never get married in America and you have totally disregarded the whole point by dealing with natural stuff. Is a woman taking half your net worth because she isn’t attracted to you anymore natural? What about splitting the kids after a divorce? Yeah that sounds natural.

Read the argument next time you respond, you donkey
So you think it's better having children outside of marriage, then? The statistics tell a different story:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/m...tay-unmarried-stay-together-study-claims.html

But then i do recognise the folly of having a debate with a kid on the internet. This is about values and how you were raised as i stated at the beginning.
 
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