LTR post - I beat the dragon.

[Fruitbat]

Let's talk about this "dragon". Does he make your wife act like a b!tch to her boss at work? How about the girlfriends she has Sunday brunches with? The cute personal trainer at the gym? Or does the dragon have his sights set squarely on the husband?

Think back to the early days of your relationship. Do you remember how the dragon didn't even exist for the first several months? He probably didn't rear his ugly head until the two of you became exclusive (or said the marriage vows). And when he started to emerge, he did so cautiously and briskly at first, like a solider peeking out of a trench to scan the enemy position? And, with time, the dragon became more and more emboldened, right? Now why do you think that is? Do you think it's because (a) your wife did not have periods before you declared your undying love for her, or (b) there is something else at play here?

Now think about your own emotions and your ability to control them. Male and female emotions are the same. Yes, women are more emotional, on average. But the nature of the emotions does not vary between genders. Have you ever felt like telling your boss to go fvck himself? Or telling the traffic cop to stick that ticket up his ass? I'm sure you have. And I'm sure you were able to resist acting out on those impulses. Why? Fear of consequences. The dragon is a cautious predator. He will only attack when he thinks that the victim won't fight back and has no escape route.

Let's talk about this "dragon". Does he make your wife act like a b!tch to her boss at work?

she argues with her coworkers on occasion . And her mother.

How about the girlfriends she has Sunday brunches with?

She hasn’t got girlfriends, our friends we meet as a couple

The cute personal trainer at the gym?

Doesn’t go to the gym. She’s Asian bro. The only thing in life is family.

Or does the dragon have his sights set squarely on the husband?

and other family members. But I’m here more often than


Think back to the early days of your relationship. Do you remember how the dragon didn't even exist for the first several months?

It did happen a few times in the first year.


Largely agree with the rest.

appeasemnt is BS.

 

[LTG71]

This is the unfortunate reality of having to deal with women. Some dragons are worse than others. I know some that you can’t even tell and some that are a cvnt for three weeks out of the month, yikes! I’m very skeptical that you can talk a women out of her hormones but most guys like a challenge.

Best strategy is to be aware of the patterns and signs and don’t take anything that comes from her mouth seriously. Get an app and pay better attention. One I know is pretty damn synced with the moon. When I see it start to crest, it’s like a Bat signal that sh!t is coming your way. Also look for changes in complexion. More ache on her face as hormones start raging.

Creepy sh!t that happens at work is when several women synchronize with each other. How the fvck does that happen? Pheromones or something? Intersexual competition at some subconscious level? Funny is when they straight up tell you directly. I know Karen, you’ve been an exceptional b!tch since Tuesday.

 

[Barrister]

OP,

I take your point. And to an extent women are going to act badly when hormones are racing. It is essentially unavoidable.

However, I think a lot of women think they have a "free pass" to act however they want around that time of the month. And that simply isn't acceptable and shouldn't be tolerated. Nor would I ever give it some cutesy name like "the Dragon" which seems to encourage this behavior by acting like it is some foregone conclusion that the woman MUST act like a b1tch with 100% certainty and we men are just supposed to accept it.

I still believe in setting firm boundaries when behavior is poor and applying silence and distance when necessary- regardless of the time of the month and hormones. If we get sick, the woman is never going to accept us acting like a huge a-hole to her just because we don't feel well. That cuts both ways. In other words, I don't treat her any differently whether it is that time of the month or not - keep your frame firm.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

The menstral cycle is real. I’m so ready for mine to just freaking stop, seriously. But it creeps up because the ebb and flow of the cycle is always happening and the cycle changes gradually for the most part.

Personally I find I am more sensitive to the exact same stimuli depending on where my cycle is. And I’m less tolerant of BS that I otherwise might let ride at times. It’s annoying to me and at times to him.

Maybe in week one I’m cool with him staying up half the night gaming in the bed while I’m trying to sleep, then in week 3.5 he does that same thing & it annoys the fvck out of me, & I’m like Really? FFS can you go game in the other room so I can rest? Things like that. Gaming in the bed honestly is inconsiderate as a rule if the other person needs rest. So we are actually going to chat about some stuff like that tonight, because consistency is key in knowing what behavior is Ok and what behavior isn’t.

Some weeks I need more sleep & some weeks I can do with less. So yes I agree it’s about management, and largely management of expectations between partners.

As a woman I am pretty emotionally stable, but I have my peaks & valleys and so does my guy. There are days he’s cool & days he is an ass hole too, so it does cut both ways.

We are still figuring things out. Kindness and patience goes a long way.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I can't see BE's post since she's on ignore. But let me guess - it's along the lines of "accept us as we are while you grind for our approval" isnt' it?

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

I can't see BE's post since she's on ignore. But let me guess - it's along the lines of "accept us as we are while you grind for our approval" isnt' it?

This is it, lol.

 

[Macadellic]

I can't see BE's post since she's on ignore.

+1
Along with another female poster.

Anyways,
I’ve been in multiple LTRs and have had conversations with my gf(s) at the time and this how it somewhat goes

Macadellic: your calm on your period
Gf(s) at the time: *head knod*

Macadellic: how come some girls turn into raging b/tchs?
Gf(s) at the time: it’s just an excuse

Multiple gf’s I’ve had and been in LTRs have universally across the board have said the same thing…

It’s an excuse to be a b/tch

OP,
Nothing against you because I respect you and value your input across threads. Plus, I hope to one day marry an Asian myself.