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LTR help: the question of exclusivity


Master Don Juan
Aug 23, 2008
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Given her reluctance to commit to you, you can't be sure that she isn't still holding out for a better deal. She might not be actively searching, but she might be game if something "better" (according to her definition) comes along.

Based on what I can infer from your posts, you seem to be into her more than she is into you. Like others have said, girls always want a catch. It's always the woman that should be asking for exclusivity. Not the guy.

Always keep your options open. You don't have to go and bang a bunch of other women, but you should definitely have some lined up if this falls through. Do that, and you will find that you will be more attractive in this girl's eyes.

NEVER give you heart to a woman until she gives hers to you.


Master Don Juan
May 5, 2010
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MonkeyButt said:
What I'm finding though, is that the women do inquire if I'm seeing anyone else. Literally on the first date. Now the date was typically proceeded by countless emails and a couple phone calls, but it's still the first date.
If women your age (40ish) are asking on the first date, I'd say that:
  • they might be interested and are curious to see if you're pre-selected.
  • they've been hurt in the past and are afraid of being played. Again.

I read earlier ""I don't like to talk about my dating life." "A gentleman doesn't talk about other ladies." etc." from vatoloco.
How does that work. I'm not sure all the ladies (juggling 4 right now) would react the same. What is the reaction from women you use this on?
This question always comes up for me during the early stages of my interactions with women. At first, when I'm still building good rapport, I Agree & Amplify with stuff like

"Sweetheart, you got eyes. What do you think? ;)"
"Well, it's complicated..."
"Girlfriends? Or just wives?"

The ones who dig will play along and the ones who don't, will get mad and drop me. The good ones eventually want me to get serious and that's when I politely tell them that "I don't like to talk about my dating life." Their immediate response is "Why?" I tell them that I find it disrespectful to talk about other women. My current girlfriend was no exception. She was curious. I let her know I don't talk about that. She accepted it... because she digs. ;)

It truly is a litmus test to see who is a good woman. If she pesters you for info, it'd tell me that she's insecure and will more than likely be trouble down the road for any meaningful, healthy relationship.


Good advise

Thanks vatoloco,

Great line "wives or just girlfriends" then the follow up if pressed.
I'll have to open a noobsause thread elsewhere and not hijack this one.

Thanks again,



Master Don Juan
Feb 14, 2005
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ecko280 said:
Don't bring it up. Let her ask to be exclusive with you.
Haha, good luck with that. I'm seeing a girl who referred to herself as my girlfriend a few times about two weeks after i started seeing her. Then she officially brought it up a day or two later and all i told her was "slow it down!" and she said "i know. I just don't normally sleep with guys i'm not in a relationship with" (yea right) and dropped it.

Two weeks later (tonight) she referred to herself as my girlfriend again.

Fvck that. I'm not even going to correct anymore it if she's going to insist on assumptions AND blatant statements that we're not there yet. She gets hurt; that's on her. I'm not her caretaker.

I have another girl asking me if I want to take a horse riding lesson from her. Yes. Yes, I do.