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Looks, self-esteem and female attraction

mahon83050

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I know we have constantly battled on the importance of looks for males. Some say they matter alot and others say they do not matter that much. I know alot of you do not give me much credibilty with my advice posts, but I will post anyways regardless of how you feel. This is the way I see it:

I think most guys basically feel the same when it comes to women. In order for us to feel attraction for a girl and consider herself LTR material, we have to find her physically attractive, nice and somewhat intelligent. Most guys will NOT be turned off if a girl is shy, suffers from low-self esteem or is insecure (most do). If a chick looks good and is atleast "somewhat" nice and smart, she will have no trouble getting dates.

Now of course, women are visual creatures and are also human, so they do like handsome men. A fairly attractive or handsome guy will get alot more auditions than his less than handsome or "out of shape" rivals. The main difference is this: Most women WILL be turned off if a man is shy, insecure or has low self-esteem. These negative traits will scare women away more than an oversized nose, receding hairline, double chin, crooked teeth etc. Looks matter, but they do not carry 1/2 the weight they when men choose women.

It seems, just like my old days,....alot of guys think because they are tall, built and have fairly attractive facial features....they should have no problems in getting dates. They think since looks has so much weight when WE choose women, it must be the same. Nothing is further than the truth, if you have shyness or confidence issues, your height, build or pleasing facial features go right down the drain. Think as your attractive appearance as an atttractive looking car. Now, the main function of a car is to provide transportation. Gasoline or petrol (for you "mateys") is similiar to a mans esteem level, confidence etc. A car is useless and has no value if it has no gasoline to get you anywhere. Get my point?

If you are atleast average in physical appearance, but are extroverted, confident and secure with yourself, you can land attractive women. I say this because I have read it many times and seen it with my own eyes (just as you guys probably have)

In conclusion, good looks only mean alot if you have the esteem and confidence to go with it. I know alot of you who read this will sarcastically think...."No crap Mahon, Really"? I just felt like getting my feelings off my chest.
 

jd782

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I agree. I dated a girl who was a cute girl next door type. But very shy, kinda nerdy and rather uptight. I didnt care. Now a good looking guy with these same traits will never find anyone. No matter how good he looks. Thats why you see the ugly guy with the goodlooking girl. Personality. And usually something to offer.

Now, really good looking guys, I have found are rarely shy, and have high self esteem. Why? Because all their life girls have always wanted them. They were popular in high school. If there was some type of school function or sport, they were some how apart of it. They always seemed to date the cutest girl. Ect. I know this isnt the norm. But its more common then the ugly guy with the hot girl friend.

Hot girls are the same, in a way And it seems the hotter and more popular they are the lower their self esteem is. Look at all the super models and movie actresses with eating disorders. They are so worried that no one will like them, that they will do anything to be accepted. Again, this isnt the norm. But how often do you see an ugly girl with a good looking guy?
 
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