Wow that’s a rough 8 months. You need to surround yourself with loved ones (friends/family) and get proactive. No time to think about women in those situations. Go cocoon up and metamorphasise into that butterfly, then get the girl.
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I'll give an example of myself for better context.I only had one goal at the time of losing everything and that was pursuit of my passion. I have made the decision to dedicate my life to this one thing and as long as I was pursuing it I was happy. But you are spot on. I made some impulsive and poor spending decisions. Looking back maybe I was unhappy.
Now my goals are to return to back to my former glory.
- Get another car
- Get another apartment
- Finance and Budget better so I have a safety net and avoid a situation like this
- Continue pursuing passion (this never stops I'm even continuing in this state)
- Improve social life/love life
Should my focus on these goals mean I completely ignore my love life? Minus my life trouble, physically and fitness wise Im past my goals. Being jobless for sometime that was the only thing to focus on. The girl in question is really attractive but Im beginning to think it is my scarcity mindset and/or my circumstances why I'm not getting what I want there.
Essentially my goals are simple. I just want my basis of living back. The potential success in my passion would give me all the luxury I desire but that can be hit or miss. That isn't really my focus. I'm happy with the pursuit.
I don’t think it would bro. A beautiful women is like a good movie or a Big Mac. Feels good for that small time period and then it’s back it work.- I know that women and relationships should be the furthest thing from my mind and I should be focused on climbing out of this hole but she is gorgeous and I am honestly lonely. When men are in hardship there is nowhere to turn to. A beautiful woman would help
It’s good you realize it.- I'm operating from a scarcity mentality which may be giving me oneitis that may be blinding me. I know I need options but that's tough given my circumstance.
Seeing her shouldn’t remind you of your failures. You should remind yourself of your shortcomings whether she is in Germany or in your bed.- I feel like I should just freeze her out and focus on improvement but seeing her at work is just a reminder of my failure and that pisses me off given all my other failures recently.
Focus on one thing at a time, one step at a time, Work hard, save up, and eventually things will start looking up. And don’t forget to work out,Going from high point to low so fast has just thrown me off. Any advice. Tough love is welcome.
Part of me wants to do this. Been thinking about leaving my job and switching towns for a bit to lay low and recover. I live in a shítty depressing town. Might need a change of scenery. Thanks for your replyWow that’s a rough 8 months. You need to surround yourself with loved ones (friends/family) and get proactive. No time to think about women in those situations. Go cocoon up and metamorphasise into that butterfly, then get the girl.
I agree and when we first began talking it did help me. When I explained to her what I was going through initially I did so from a "this is happening but I know what I need to do I have a plan perspective" and she was supportive which is why I thought she may be long term material.Adversity is the best time to show just how resilient, determined and strong you can be in the eyes of a woman. That never give up refuse to f*cking quit attitude; the idea that you can’t be kept down even when you’re at rock bottom is some powerful sh*t.
She will admire you for it.
This is an interesting way to look at it. I guess I would say I'm in administrative mode. However, I feel I have no buisness being in this mode. Being in this hole is killing me mentally. Shattering my self confidence which used to be one of my biggest strengths. As a result I'm bleeding value daily and I feel like the fastest way to get in better state would be the warpath mode.I'll give an example of myself for better context.
When I'm on a 'warpath' defending against an attack on my interests or 'warmongering' to expand my interests in new geographical areas, women are the farthest thing on my mind.
I'm mentally focused on the task at hand to win or conquer.
Most of the women in my life understands it, my driven nature, they might not like it sometimes but they do admire it.
When I'm in "administrative mode" such as managing the daily life to life stuff or struggles then I'm more freely available with other things such as women.
So it pretty much boils down to which stage are you at now.
If u r in "administrative mode" then by all means it's okay and normal to seek the companionship of a woman.
Spot on. It's just my circumstance and scarcity telling me "THIS IS A RARE BIG MAC AND MIGHT BE YOUR LAST CHANCE TO HAVE ONE FOR A WHILE"I don’t think it would bro. A beautiful women is like a good movie or a Big Mac. Feels good for that small time period and then it’s back it work.
Right and unless its death and not really even then you seem like a bítch for bringing it up. I was kind of forced to tell her though. She was wondering why i wasn't taking her home and fūcking her and I didn't want to lie so I told her I lost my apartment, going through hard times etc.And unless it’s a death or something serious, beautiful women don’t want to hear about your hardship, they want to be part of the ride.
Responses like this remind me of how valuable this site really is. Thank you for all your support and replies. I now have a good amount of different perspectives and can tailor my mindset better looking forward. Nowhere on earth a resource like this exists.Focus on one thing at a time, one step at a time, Work hard, save up, and eventually things will start looking up. And don’t forget to work out,
Remember men, even if she is the hottest young thing you have seen, even if everyone loves and worships her, ALL validation from within.
Perhaps I'll need to elaborate a little.This is an interesting way to look at it. I guess I would say I'm in administrative mode. However, I feel I have no buisness being in this mode. Being in this hole is killing me mentally. Shattering my self confidence which used to be one of my biggest strengths. As a result I'm bleeding value daily and I feel like the fastest way to get in better state would be the warpath mode.
I think I am going to take one of the other posters advice and switch jobs real quick. I wish this was a movie and I could just go into a cave for 8 months and train. Thanks for your reply man. Gold.