Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Is it even worth it to be in a relationship if the cex is rare or you gotta ask for it?

Dr.Suave

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I decided to go with the advice of what some of you said. I am on day 10 of not bringing up sex. I refuse to initiate it anymore. Suprisingly I am able to think clearer and feel more like a macho man. Its giving me more of an edge in my attitude which im really liking. Time will tell if she brings up wanting to have sex. I will let all of you know how this plays out...
Yes yes yes. Dont initiate, dont bring it up. Start doing more diet/exercise than you normally do. Start doing social things that dont include her (going out with your male friends or whatever). Talk to girls when you out an about, be fun, enjoy yourself, enjoy life. Lets see if you notice any change from her, my bet is you will. Keep us posted.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

There are people who don’t care too much about sex. I am not one of them. Sex is the glue. In an exclusive relationship it is the one thing you do only with your partner, it should bond you guys and create intimacy. It is meant to be an enjoyable passion and pleasure.

Now there are other ways of building intimacy. But sex is a big deal.

If she isn’t turned on by you that is a problem.
If she isn’t interested in sex generally that is a problem. If you are not good in bed that is a problem.

Do any of those 3 things above influence your relationship? If so the proper action varies. So give that a think and let us know.
 

svencandy

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Another problem I've recently come across, is that I'm interested in sex, just not with her, despite her being in shape etc, shes settled. She never seduces. This is a problem of modern times, women rarely seduce. If you are with her for a long time, and she never seduces, but submits all the time, you going to look elsewhere, coz you want that.
 

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BeExcellent

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Where does a guy learn to be good in bed?
A man can learn to be a great lover by putting his lover’s needs ahead of his own, knowing that by doing so his needs will be met. Someone once said men warm up like a blowtorch and women warm up like an oven (they take time to warm up).

Women need foreplay, sensual touch or a story script of sorts to get turned on. Men need a visually appealing woman. So it’s different. For a man to be good in bed he needs to be open to exploring and learning his partner physically and sexually.

The crazy women who are famously great at sex are like plug and play. They know how to stimulate their own bodies using a man’s physiology to get where they need to go. This is an ego boost but it doesn’t teach a man how to be a good or great lover. Being a good lover is about the partner first, then self. In a similar way women who are great lovers please the partner first as well, knowing that pleasing him will benefit her.

This reciprocal exchange of pleasure and prioritizing the partner is what great sex is about. How that exchange manifests can take various forms but this in essence is what it boils down to. It involves paying attention to the partner and the partner’s needs.

Whether you have been with 1 partner or 1000.
 

SW15

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Where does a guy learn to be good in bed?
There are physical books and sex manuals online. I read many of them in my teens and early 20s. I knew then that being good at sex would be a part of how I retained women once I attracted them. That's helped me.
 

catsmeow

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A man can learn to be a great lover by putting his lover’s needs ahead of his own, knowing that by doing so his needs will be met. Someone once said men warm up like a blowtorch and women warm up like an oven (they take time to warm up).

Women need foreplay, sensual touch or a story script of sorts to get turned on. Men need a visually appealing woman. So it’s different. For a man to be good in bed he needs to be open to exploring and learning his partner physically and sexually.

The crazy women who are famously great at sex are like plug and play. They know how to stimulate their own bodies using a man’s physiology to get where they need to go. This is an ego boost but it doesn’t teach a man how to be a good or great lover. Being a good lover is about the partner first, then self. In a similar way women who are great lovers please the partner first as well, knowing that pleasing him will benefit her.

This reciprocal exchange of pleasure and prioritizing the partner is what great sex is about. How that exchange manifests can take various forms but this in essence is what it boils down to. It involves paying attention to the partner and the partner’s needs.

Whether you have been with 1 partner or 1000.
To counter this^, a male member of this forum with an extremely high notch count, posted this (below), I copied it at the time cause I thought it was an interesting take.

>>I think being selfish in bed communicates to women that they aren't your priority - which they can't help being turned on by.

Eating pvssy and generally trying to please a woman (in any way).....we've seen how women respond to that.
Rather badly.<<

It contradicts what's quoted above by @BeExcellent .

Frankly, I think they're both true, depending on the particular woman, her age, life experience, demographic, and other factors. There is no 'one size fits all' when it comes to pleasing a woman sexually.

My ex with whom I was madly in love at the time was a rather selfish lover but he had tremendous skill and knew exactly what to do, all while pleasing himself (mostly).

He also knew how to trigger me emotionally during sex which was a major factor in how great the sex was for me.

A man can focus on a woman's needs all he wants, but if he lacks skill and the ability to trigger emotion, he's gonna be a crap lover imho.
 
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Epimanes

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I would say ... knowing what I know now and having been through that for 25yrs and 2 kids with same woman only to have her behave like that and then leave me and our kids for another man.. the answer is no. The chemistry would need to be pretty good for cohabitation. She would need to have a higher interest than me.

Make my d!ck hard not my life.

Don't have children with women that drip feed you your needs. That will only create resentment long term and she will trap you financially and you will be fvcked.

Tread carefully.

Epi
 
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