Great, important topic.
I was in the same situation as you, the difference being that you’re a successful player. I was at a post-high school music school in Sweden, which is the worst kind of these places: quirky psychological artists that all adhere to the feminism/alternative/trans/etc/etc. There’s men walking around in skirts/hand bags/etc, many girls in short hair/crew cut, etc. Girls say masculinity is bad. So, “traditional” men, and in particular a red-pilled man such as me — observe the contrast — is then the absolute devil and horror. The threat.
After a while there was gossip and I got black-listed. I admit, as a freshly nofap’ed/red-pilled I could have had a better game, but the criticism was things like “you said to a girl she is pretty” and “You knocked on the door to her exercise room and asked her if she wanted to get sushi, you’re not smooth”. These are basically exact quotes. I fully understand that all SS members are perplexed by this.
As a result I got isolated, no one talked to me, and so forth. This is one reason I left the school, it was in many ways too draining and pointless. I developed a rather strong social anxiety by this weight, and I got an online therapist to tackle this. You write annoying, but monitor yourself here so you don’t take too much beating.
One lady friend brought this up with me (“People don’t speak well of you”). I listened to her feedback and essentially asked questions, leading to her saying she didn’t know what she is talking about. What does this mean? If you’re a “bold” man, it will lead to you being a catalyst for reflection and gossip. Maybe there’s nothing else going on. The friend went into an entangling monolog about age differences among her parents (me being 37, they 20-25). One can have an empathic view on the social system here. Only human.
In one sense feminism hasn’t lead to a balancing coin. Instead the coin has flipped and we see man shaming. Watch the movie Malena (2000). She experienced what we do now. What should she have done differently? I don’t know, thoughts welcome. Maybe a widely acknowledged phenomenon in two/three decades or so, movies about it, etc.
At the same thing, this is the danger of social circles. I’m very content with not being part in any currently. I have close male friends, but beyond that I hit the clubs/bars and have a high volume. I don’t have to deal with being a tool for people’s own reflections and incapability of handling their own lives or boredom in them. I think social circles is for having a girlfriend, that kind of thing.
There are enormous contrasts in our societies, especially in Scandinavia. Red-pill vs. the officially backed policies. Watch out.
We have societies that treat women as rational beings, but this kind of behaviour shows aspects that we on SS are well aware of. Women will gossip about you if you make an impression or is worthy, so it’s essentially gigantic sh1t tests. One can shrug it off, but it can indeed get grim beyond some girls eye rolling. It’s manly to not conform, be individualistic and take risk, so I agree with the advice to remain red-pilled, though unsure about the practical specifics of how.
Social systems are though moldable, so this gives hope. For instance, I got good connection/rapport with the girls I’ve flirted with, so the critique and scolding I in one sense cannot confirm. I got that good rapport (“You’re leaving the school? That makes me sad” etc) because of demonstrated good value over time. The true equilibriums will form over time.
Would be useful with suggestions how to deal with this. I honestly think there’s little to do: either fold, conform and turn invisible, or stand tall in the storm.
