Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

"I'm a pretty ugly guy so probably won't like me"

r4zorsharp

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You're right, and its not because you're ugly.. its because you think you are and are moving like it.

When I tell you, I've seen some ugly dudes make complete magic when it comes to women.. you have no idea what kind of examples im talking about.

I know this guy we'll call Big T. This guy is at least 320 lbs at 5'6 or 5'7. When I tell you he's fat, ... He's not just fat, he can hide a whole cell phone under one of his breasts fat. But the kind of women he gets attention from, wow. He will have parties, and at the end of them he's sleeping with one of the hottest girls. He has a few different girls he sleeps with currently. At a beach, he is the first one to take his shirt off.

So what gives? Why is he so confident? Let me tell you why.. He's a rapper. His life and passion revolve around music, and while he's not super successful he makes enough money to live decently and has enough of a fan following. He also has lots of friends, and travels from city to city doing what hes passionate about.

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Now we got another guy, this guy is a 5'4 skinny Indian dude who looks like one of those guys you might see on the side of the road in India wearing torn clothes asking for money.. Not saying he's ugly, but he has physical disadvantages.. (or are they?) This guy has thousands of matches on Tinder a month.. and thats being very very modest considering i've seen what hes capable in a day. He's slept with hundreds of women in his life. hundreds.

What gives?

I'm not too sure about this guy since I don't know him all too well.. But what i learned and do know is that he seems to not care what anyone thinks of him and he has unbreakable confidence.. he is so self assured in himself the way he talks, and when things dont work out, he just moves on from the idea within seconds.. I've seen him approach maybe 10 girls and strike out, and not be phased, and then end up making out with the 11th girl and taking her home.

He also has some nice hair and not a bad looking face. He's mastered the art of apps though and instagram, through having amazing pictures and knowing how the system works. It seems like his angle of personality is that he travels the world and is very interesting and "exotic". He often uses this persona as if he's some kind of dancer who travels the world dancing or something.

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I do have other examples too.. One is a dude whos married to this Asian model looking chick. He's a bald peanut headed Ethiopian guy with bulging eyes. He looks more scary than ugly, but usually jokes about himself alot about how he's ugly as it doesn't phase him at all. In fact, hes one of the most confident people I've ever met.

Whats the deal? This guy just has a great personality, and is hilarious. Very expressive in the way he talks and his personality is very bold and unique. He's also successful and has alot of friends.

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Now what do all these dudes have in common? They have passions/hobbies and great personalities/social lives. Their priorities are not women and they don't sit around thinking about women, except the Indian dude who made much of his life revolve around women as he got into the whole PUA thing. I remember he had a youtube and instagram and used to also sell courses.. Just don't know his stuff anymore.
 

flowtheory

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Yup. Pouring energy in to a passion is what gives a man purpose and a path to walk. Everyone knows this. It gives him something greater than petty romance or any sort of navel gazing. What gives a man true juice is creating his own world.

When you’re on purpose your mind is solution driven. Rather than problem driven. Growth mindset vs fixed.

It’s all really simple when it’s laid out. What the answers are. But I think we’re programmed in many ways to look at what we’re not, as opposed to what we have and are.

1. Pursue Passion
2. Build body, mind, spiritual, sexual confidence
3. Be social
 

mrgoodstuff

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Even if your face is "ugly" you can have be have a great build, you can dress good, and you can have a magnetic personality and swag so good you could bottle and sell it.
 

stringpuller

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The one area of RP community that i don't agree with.
Yes biological competition exists but comparing yourself to other men in looks is the #1 one way to kill your frame. Be your own and maximize what you have. Its really that simple
 

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CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Attraction for women is largely fueled by social status, like look at Quentin Tarantino, dude looks like a Gremlin and acts like he heads the Kremlin, but that's his purpose.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Attraction for women is largely fueled by social status, like look at Quentin Tarantino, dude looks like a Gremlin and acts like he heads the Kremlin, but that's his purpose.
Agree 110%... Social status in circles that she values are much more valued than "looks". "They" are chameleons to PLEASE these social circles.
 

r4zorsharp

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Calling bullsh*t on this one. No offense.
Hahah no problem brother. No offense taken. These dudes actually exist. I'm just not going to put their social medias on blast however.
 

7onriverI f

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With that indian guy approaching 10 girls and the 11th hitting it off with her can be completely avoided. A guy should be able to walk into a place and know which girls are into him. This is done by actually going out.

Talking to guys who get girls they will advice you that girls are looking at you. From there you notice this ****. Deep down you have seen this stuff since you were 12 through flashing through your memory bank looking at the past experiences.

Me talking about banging 5 girls is not exactly the normal thing that goes on with everyone. Most people just have a girlfriend. Some have friends with benefits for a small point of time until the girl dates someone.
 

7onriverI f

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i wouldnt look at ugly out of shape guys or loserish guys and think “man they can get girls, there must be something cool about them.”

I look at them from the frame of “why is he out of shape nd letting himself go. That’s not healthy.“ And “why isn’t he maximizing his finances.”

To me, getting random girls here and there doesnt mean anything. It’s not an impressive feat after you’re 21 years old.

I don’t use women as a standard for anything. Even Losers can get women.

The standard should be beyond women and romance.

The standard should be greatness And realizing your maximum potential.

Sure, getting women is part of it. But when I hear stories of fat guys and losers, it doesnt impress me that they get girls. I look at why they arent living up to their full potential.

How can you be happy being broke and fat? Getting your d1ck sucked every now and then at parties doesn’t make it any less depressing.
Lol forget greatness. Who cares about pride.

Go for helping people. Whether that's giving money and time to a charity or giving a woman a orgasm that's what it is about. Getting ripped could be part of this to give women a show and strip for them. Even working at McDonald's is providing a product for someone who wants it so it's helping people. Life is not about impressing people to make yourself feel good but to help people so that makes you feel good.
 

BackInTheGame78

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i wouldnt look at ugly out of shape guys or loserish guys and think “man they can get girls, there must be something cool about them.”

I look at them from the frame of “why is he out of shape nd letting himself go. That’s not healthy.“ And “why isn’t he maximizing his finances.”

To me, getting random girls here and there doesnt mean anything. It’s not an impressive feat after you’re 21 years old.

I don’t use women as a standard for anything. Even Losers can get women.

The standard should be beyond women and romance.

The standard should be greatness And realizing your maximum potential.

Sure, getting women is part of it. But when I hear stories of fat guys and losers, it doesnt impress me that they get girls. I look at why they arent living up to their full potential.

How can you be happy being broke and fat? Getting your d1ck sucked every now and then at parties doesn’t make it any less depressing.
I think what OP is trying to point out is if these guys who have what so many would call disadvantages are able to get women then most other guys and forum posters really don't have any excuses to use as to why they can't that are valid.

At the end of the day the mind will go to great lengths to ensure what you believe comes true...if you believe things are going to prevent you from getting women they will and if you believe they won't then they won't. Will you get every woman you want? No of course not, but most guys don't realize they are capable of getting far better women than they think they can. Just have to have the right mindset and attitude to do it.
 

7onriverI f

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Most guys on the forum are just clueless. It’s not a matter of mindset. You can teach them the best mindset but if they don’t have the roadmap, they will still end up in Seattle when they wanted to go to florida.

To me, mindset is overrated when it comes to chicks. It’s like saying you need to climb mt. Everest just to get laid. Getting laid is actually a lot easier and even guys with the crappiest mindsets manage to do it.

What matters when it comes to getting 20+ accidental lays a year is simply having hobbies where you are around women.

You dont need bulletproof confidence. There were times when I was insecure and socially awkward and still got laid consistently.

You just have to go to the gym and work out, be around women, absorb social calibration through osmosis, and let the women seduce you, because that’s what they do. That’s their role.

You guys are looking at the op’s post and conflating the success of those guys to confidence and self esteem. Perhaps even the OP is doing the same.

This is how you create a mythical unicorn.

The answer is MUCH simpler.

Those guys are in the right environments where lays happen.

A much more simplistic and practical advice to give people is to develop hobbies and passions that have women in it, work out and wear better clothes, and women will seduce them.

Instead of trying to give them pseudo science inner game advice, which rarely is effective. All you guys are doing is creating a mythical Don Juan unicorn.

In real life People get laid in social circles all the time, and most of them are just as insecure as the rest of us.
Best post I have read all year. Had a girl the other week who was giving me a massage ask if I go to the gym. I said I went to the gym 10 years ago for 2 months 4 days week. She said your very strong. I am 214lbs at 5 foot 10. Must be the high LDL cholesterol levels. I notice a difference in 1 day of eating 150g of protein and doing 100 pushups on the day and the next day I'm buff as fark.

Just ate 6 donuts and had 2 pies for breakfast. Really need to fix the diet since I'm fat as fark.

Girls call me fat teasing me.

I got a gym membership but I don't go. Guess what. I'm going right now. Going to train back and triceps.

Peace out bros. Listen to this storm guy. He knows what's up.
 

Serenity

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A much more simplistic and practical advice to give people is to develop hobbies and passions that have women in it, work out and wear better clothes, and women will seduce them.
In my experience this is the lie. I qualified for 5 YEARS without being seduced, plenty women around and none of them showed the slightest interest in me. All of my change was internal and it made a massive difference.

This just tells me you have always had the right basic mindset and don't really know the effects of a bad mindset. A bad mindset will affect the way you walk and talk in such a way that you will turn women off. You'll be left wondering what the hell you're doing wrong, with no obvious answers as you don't even understand the connection between internal state of mind and external expression.

Following your advice on this is the worst thing to do for someone who suffers from a bad mindset. They've sat around waiting for god knows how long and not a single woman has approached them, there you are telling them to essentially continue waiting to be seduced. They may very well have hobbies, be around women, look physically good and wear good looking clothes with zero success because that's not their core issue, their mindset is all messed up.

As I said, I haven't changed much physically, but I have developed a lot mentally since I came to this forum as a clueless guy trying to figure out why I wasn't getting laid. Even beyond women it has not passed without being noticed, most people who have known me before and after has in some way commented on how much I've improved.

I've also witnessed several other guys who based on what they do and how they look would be of no interest to women, yet they pull women like crazy. They all have very defined and strong personalities in common, they're clear and unashamed about who they are.
 

BadBoy89

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I honestly think the men of sosuave have no issues getting sex from women. Sex is very easy to get.

Where men have troubles is getting the admiration, companionship, love and respect from women.
This is very hard to get. When women have endless options, are consistently validated, can do no wrong and are never responsible, it very difficult for a man to secure the commitment of a beautiful woman unless he is an alpha male.

Don’t except loyalty or commitment from women. Get sex from them, and move on.
 

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Serenity

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Your post tells me you started off worse than the average guy.

Like you had damaged self esteem or something. That’s your projection.
This is accurate, but I do recognize when my personal experience is and isn't relevant to someone else's problem. I'm very aware of projection and try to avoid it. Are you sure you're not the one projecting?
They have no social ecosystem whatsoever that have built in women.
I will have to agree that all the inner game in the world won't help at all if a guy doesn't go out into those environments.
Most guys have read all of them and they are still clueless.
Reading a lot doesn't mean they learn anything.
Thats why I said pseudo inner game advice is largely ineffective for the average dude who just needs a better social life.
Why do they have a bad social life to begin with? I'm pretty sure it's more extensive than simply failing to walk out the door.
 

7onriverI f

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People think they know, but they are just speaking from their own projections and limited viewpoint.

I used to teach an entire city of guys in game. I used to be a leader of those dreaded “PUA lairs,” lol. That’s why I know exactly what the average guy needs.

My experience comes from having taught hundreds of men of all shapes and sizes and profession.

But people are free to debate with me though, if they think they know better.
Just finished my gym workout. It was about 35 mins. did 90 reps on back exercises and 60 reps on tricepts with 100 reps of crunches.

Got opened by one fit looking blonde chick. Soon as I showed up she moved over near me and did a exercise. Clearly she knew I was finished on chinups or pullups whatever the fark they are and she asked if i was using the cables. Total opener from her.

Storm do you join classes? I think that's a better way to meet chicks than just cold approach in the gym.

I remember when i stayed in backpacker hostels I wouldn't bang the girl in the first 30 seconds of meeting her but it might take a few hours over a course of a few days and then shes trying to hook up with me at the same time saying i'm so weird. 10 mins later im fingering her under the blanket in the main lougue with everyone else walking around nearby. Later that night I got a ******* and she wanted me to bang her raw.

This is the same in clubs although they are a bit quicker usually. Normally the girl is giving you a handjob on the dancefloor after some intense kissing within 30 mins max probably. Some pulls take longer like moving to somewhere to eat or going to a different bar or whatever. Some take hours kissing looking into each others eyes until closing of the bar then pull home.
 

Serenity

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@stormrider I think we have to agree to disagree. I have the complete opposite view. The practical part is obvious, a guy has to be pretty fvcking dense to not understand he has to go out and put himself in an environment with women.

Many guys do exactly what you suggest, fail and crumble into a mess.

I'm not very fit btw, never have been and don't have to be in order to attract women. I look good, but I don't have much muscle.

Im sorry but if you are fit and good looking and you have hobbies and are constantly surrounded by chicks and you STILL can’t get laid, then there is something WRONG with you. This is not normal.
More normal than you think. There's "10,000" posts about it here exactly for this reason.

When in reality all we need to do is be fit and surround ourselves with chicks.
No, just no. That is most definitely not all for guys who has had an issue getting women for a long while. Guys are left just as clueless after getting your type of advice and that too there's 10,000 posts about here.
 

7onriverI f

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I used to volunteer at a recreational center that has dance classes, fitness classes, and even a giant theatre for play actors.

Thats how I discovered that for a normal fit dude, all you need to do is surround yourself with chicks. I had a rotation of 3-5 women for about two years in that place. I never had to lift a finger.

Even guys who were struggling with the bars/clubs got laid once I introduced them to the place.

Everyone literally got laid as long as they were a 6 and up.
Even in work environments dude like the last job and other previous jobs i had the girls were opening me looking at me asking me how old i am.

Even in one workplace the girl asked if i was gay. She had a boyfriend. One of the other girls also had a boyfriend and asked if i liked black guys and her boyfriend worked there and was black.

Even in school 15 years ago girls opened me asking if i was gay and saying they can **** me if i ain't and asked if they can feel my ****. i said go ahead and they grabbed it saying its big. they told other girls i had a big dik. they had gay friends with them while doing this. I was new to the school and asked what they do for fun and they said they have giant orgies. Lots of guys thought those girls were hot.

I've seen some weird **** that people might think im troll and even i sometimes wonder. Girls are slutty as fark. Even the girl i talk to now bangs guys for KFC chicken or even money when she runs low. She's very open talking about guys she bangs but i say i was even talking to a girl she hangs up on me and blocks me for hours sometimes a day or two before she rings me again.
 

7onriverI f

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like I said, your experience comes from your projection of a guy who used to have a really bad mindset, which is not true for the majority of guys.

I used to teach an entire city of san francisco on game. My reference experience is not limited to my own projection. I have seen hundreds of guys take my advice and became successful.

The % of guys who were so fvcked up that being fit and having a social ecosystem where they are able to interact with women organically couldn’t help them was less than 1%.

An example of a normal guy is a guy like @deBrito

Hes a normal fit guy. You can see his pics at colas thread.

He just sent me a message thanking me for enlightening him when I said “your level of lays will increase depending on your social ecosystem.” To him it was profound.

He was stuck in the whole bar/club game that gets promoted here so much. I simply reframed him to believe that women hook up in social ecosystems Because they are tribal creatures. That is where your social status is obvious.

As evidenced by hundreds of guys who have messaged me over the years telling me the same things, the answer is YES, most guys are clueless when it comes to women being tribal creatures and that they best ways to get laid are to be in social environments where interactions are organic and the women see you more than once.

My advice is completely practical and proven to work for 99% of guys as evidenced by my real life success as a former dating coach and the hundreds of guys flooding my inbox telling me how they followed my advice and it actually led to more lays.
I agree with this post very much. I don't get around women not nearly enough in envionments where you can see them mutiple times unless its in a club where you might see them the second or 6th time which sometimes happens.

Church environments have chicks who act like chicks who tried to pull me in high school. They ask the same questions and touch you while trying to not let their husband find out about it. One was the pastors wife. Even one woman I was suppose to take some DVDs back to her place and her husband was suppose to be there she said and I turn up and shes there saying her husband went out and she was suppose to be out and she asks if i wanna come in. I declined but she turns me on really bad man. I interacted with her over about 4 or 5 days and people were giving us looks in the church i could tell. Her husband wasn't too happy when i was over at their place and she was praying for me rubbing my back and he didn't want to pray for me and walked out of the room. She was like cmon whats wrong and he disappeared and she rubbed my back and prayed for me and I decided to leave at that point.

The church in this town has the same women asking the same questions. I've been their twice. Even one guy asked me if i'm coming to church for the women. He was drinking water standing up like guys do at the bar. He's a old piss head bar fly but maybe stopped that and recently as of last year joined the church.

But yeah gym environments could be potential to bang chicks. I dunno about work environments. One guy told me the girl who was giving me the look at work was also giving him the look but he didn't bang her because shes never had a boyfriend and shes clingy when he got her number. She was looking at alot of guys like every girl i have interacted with does. Perhaps it's only sluts im interacting with. that pastors wife would act the same around my mate as well and the pastor didn't like him one little bit because he's a bit too obvious in showing his interest and hits on other girls as well. She often asked the group mainly me if he was a player. She said he's good looking. and she said she thought i had a girlfriend when she asked me on this occasion as well.

I don't think your getting seduced by every girl dude. Far from it. I think girls who are more slutty try and seduce guys. Some don't. The ones seducing you are probably are trying to seduce mutiple other guys and girls as well. I've had it with older women asking if i wanna go get a drink with them and they are very good conservationists and also trying to chat up the hot bar tender girls who are bi. To me at the time they were trying to hook up a 3 some between me her and the bartender getting her number for later. I didn't go with the older lady that day but the next day shes rubbing her boobs right in front of me. I was just not too interested at the time and wanting to go to sports training at the time.

Now I got one today who i have to see who's got a boyfriend in the room gives me the look. smiles at me a few times. Said last time in front of everyone that she doesn't want to sit next to me in front of everyone. I've never talked to her much because i'm more interest in the game we are playing rather than chat to her. her tits are hanging out of her shirt and other guys hit on her. I don't really.

I dunno why she said she doesn't want to sit next to me. more of a female neg to be honest.
 
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