If you're not red pill yet, keep this in mind

[Alvafe]

Why the assumption that deceit is going on? I mean for starters much of the content on this site advocates deceit. That approach is best avoided. It doesn’t lead anywhere healthy.

It’s interesting to me that people think Im seeking approval (I’m not) and also that so many here aspire to the lifestyle that they think the player archetype affords them.

What men who haven’t been there don’t realize is the hollowness and meaninglessness inherent in that lifestyle after a while. It gets old. Sure there’s another person around the corner...there always is for high SMV folks. For what? I have half a dozen male friends who I’ve known well for years. My BF knows more than that. These men burn out after a while. Sometimes it takes many years. They get jaded and then they reach a place where what’s the point? Some pick a woman (often for qualities beyond looks) and settle down, some go MGTOW, some bang floozies the rest of their days and expect nothing more than STRs and a good time. They give up on meeting the need for a partner to grow with. I’ve seen men go each route.

The happier men are the ones who sort themselves out and learn and grow and become better men. They tend to use what they learned along the way to make better choices and do things differently as they evolve.

That’s the path my guy is on. His drinking is greatly reduced, he’s more comfortable alone, he’s learning to feel and deal with painful things in his life without automatically retracting into impulsive self destructive behaviors. He’s remaking himself. He’s happier. More stable. For him. I’m an influence he freely admits, but he’s doing it for HIMSELF. As it should be.

I don’t care what anybody thinks about me. It’s a front row seat to someone who is doing the tough work to grow and evolve. It’s kind of awesome to be quite frank. And his growth exposes my liabilities, which in turn motivates me to improve, grow & evolve.

It’s not an easy process. People want to take pot shots? That’s fine. Just check the mirror before you criticize another. It’s always easier to criticize another as opposed to face whatever liabilities stare back from the mirror.

I’m relatively frank about things because what if it helps someone else improve and face their own shadow. Make no mistake we all have one. As for the BF and I? The further we go the better it gets. Not an easy journey so far. But a worthwhile one. And nobody is getting taken advantage of unawares. Trust me.

He is very red pill. So am I. If people bristle at some of what I say? Fine. It’s no less true.

and I think the problem here is most want the player status and lifestyle to really get tired of woman, and the worse part is that hollowness you say its that life, is the same with a woman on a LTR, most had the LTR and know very well how empty they felt, so now they want to do what any guy want, huge number of available females for his pleasure

the MGTOW, is just guys who are tired of dealing with woman, and know very well then woman will hardly add to his life so he will do what any sane guy does, choose what is better for him and avoid the things who give problem, and when he feels the need he will entretain a woman to then move on to the next thing he needs

and that exactly means never settling with a woman, because lets get real, we want younger woman, hte older ones who says they are red aware, is more a way to make men settle with then, saying i'm the "unicorn" you guys search for, but fail to undertand now after your years of caroussel you have nothing to offer

 

[Glassguy]

Abundance of quantity, but scarcity of quality. That I promise you.

They take the fake confidence that the fact low value men wanna bang them gives them and they try to sell it to higher value man as "Hey, I got options, I'm cool".

Its all an illusion that these women are buying into. They see legitimate interest and the next thing you know they have been pumped and dumped by 20 dudes in a very short period of time.

 

[The Duke]

A few thoughts after reading thru what has been posted:

1. The problem with a woman ending a relationship and quickly jumping on the next cahk for validation is it hurts her ability to pair bond in the future. It may seem fairly harmless and a good distraction at the time, but it has a negative impact in the long run. The healthiest and best women have a direct connection between their heart and that slice of heaven between their legs. If you are a woman that thinks you can defy the odds, you are sadly mistaken. Its a quick fix with a negative long lasting impact. I have experienced countless women that thought it was ok to act like a man with out consequences. They make the worst long term partners.

2. Women never distinguish between guys that want to only fuhk them and guys that want relationships with them. IF they were smart, they would only count the guys that want relationships with them but I suppose their ego's won't allow that. If they would do so, they would have a more accurate assessment of their value! I've had conversations with many of them trying to point this out, and haven't been successful convincing them yet! lol In this day and age, its more important than ever before for a woman to be able to tell the difference because her ability to bond in a healthy relationship is at stake.

 

[lamath]

It's pure greed. There is no such thing as "too good to be true" because they believe they deserve it all.

imo its mostly a generation thing and now it is slowly getting to older generation

 

[guru1000]

Is it rational to assume that because someone says something in a certain day that they learned it on the same day, or even recently?

Just because you've learned it, doesn't mean you accepted it. You still haven't swallowed the red pill fully.

There's a difference between understanding human nature and putting your imprimatur on it. We identify human nature to avoid the worst parts of human nature.

You can't avoid the worst part of human nature, you can only mitigate. So your quest of avoidance is misguided. Part of mitigating is accepting others nature and investing yourself accordingly. You seem to still be holding onto Disney strings rather than accepting nature as it were and operating your stratagem accordingly.

Women are easy ... IF you just accept them as they are.

 

[BeExcellent]

Idealization phase. Eventually you will suffer narcissistic injury, then the devaluation and discard. I predict domestic violence.

My mother is a master malignant covert narcissist. So is his mother. I’m well aware of the dynamic & am well aware what I’m dealing with in my relationship. Things run on a continuum. He’s not nearly as far gone as my mom. I’m not naive either.

I know how to invest comfortably into the relationship according to his investment level.

I agree with Guru. You get duped if you allow yourself to be duped. People make choices to invest in someone or something and if they understand what they are getting into & how deep they remain in charge of the choices they are consciously making.

That is the red pill. Consciously aware of what you are dealing with and seeing it for what it is. Then you take that knowledge and make choices accordingly.

Somebody doesn’t like my comments? That’s what your ignore button is for.

 

[BeExcellent]

In your case, obviously true.

Ironically, I realized one of my good friends must be NPD because she could have written what you wrote to justify dating her own narcissist men. Like the guy could chop her arm off and she'd say "how can I grow from this? What did I do to cause this to happen? What about forgiveness and Jung's shadow?" Lol

Interesting how you’ve decided you know more about my situation than I do. That’s a rather rich sort of arrogance.

Things are well in hand on my end. Well in hand. I use examples from my own life to illustrate things. I learn from my own life experience too as we all should.

Will it work out? I dunno. I’m not worried about it. But I appreciate your concern. I do.

There’s a good blog out there on narcissisim if you are interested. It’s called “Knowing the Narcissist”. Google it. It’s informative.

 

[BeExcellent]

All of this is largely irrelevant to men of strong character (and thus frame) and awareness, who won't be duped into anything. Womens' attempted tendencies (whether that be hypergamous or genetic/social proclivities) fall flat on its face when dealing with such a man.

Only men who can get duped get duped. Has little to do with her sociopathy or narcissism or any XYZ proposed mental disorder, but rather your awareness of human tendencies and your strong character not to invest beyond what's necessary.

It's a very straightforward approach to life and very effective, as instead of pointing outward to people you cannot control, you instead, point inward to someone who has 100% control of how much he can and will invest. If you invest haphazardly, the disorder lies within yourself, not them.

I agree with the above stance. Completely.

 

[BeExcellent]

and I think the problem here is most want the player status and lifestyle to really get tired of woman, and the worse part is that hollowness you say its that life, is the same with a woman on a LTR, most had the LTR and know very well how empty they felt, so now they want to do what any guy want, huge number of available females for his pleasure

the MGTOW, is just guys who are tired of dealing with woman, and know very well then woman will hardly add to his life so he will do what any sane guy does, choose what is better for him and avoid the things who give problem, and when he feels the need he will entretain a woman to then move on to the next thing he needs

and that exactly means never settling with a woman, because lets get real, we want younger woman, hte older ones who says they are red aware, is more a way to make men settle with then, saying i'm the "unicorn" you guys search for, but fail to undertand now after your years of caroussel you have nothing to offer

I’m relating what men who have been through myriad women have related. These guys LOVE women but they get it. After a while some of them want more than a rotation. There are guys here in the same boat.

My results indicate that I’m doing just fine. You guys want younger women? Go to it. There are plenty of good partners to pick from when you have choices. No matter what your age.

What has always been curious to me is why this bugs some of you. Nobody forces men to approach me for example. They just do.

 

[zekko]

I told her that we could meet for a drink or two Monday evening (tonight) but I am not an emotional tampon and I dont want to discuss anything to do with her current break up.

Did you actually say emotional tampon? Lol

 

[Glassguy]

Did you actually say emotional tampon? Lol

Yes lol. I use that term quite often and it has stuck with me as part of my normal dating vocabulary lol.

 

[zekko]

Yes lol. I use that term quite often and it has stuck with me as part of my normal dating vocabulary lol.

Wow, I am stunned. I have literally never heard anyone use that term in real life. Pretty funny though, I wonder what she was thinking?

 

[Glassguy]

I do it too but be careful. I had a gf say "wait...are you red pill?!?!" After I used a word like that.

To which I would answer "absolutely.....I look out for my best interests above all else".

 

[Glassguy]

A woman who is up front about breaking up with her BF and using you for sex is as good as it gets. I don't know what else you guys are looking for. It could be a lot worse. She could use you as an emotional tampon, frame you for rape, pin her ex against you, or flake as soon as she feels validated (all typical female behavior). The woman the OP is describing is actually a breath of fresh air compared to a lot of women I have known in the past.

In all of my life history, I have never met a woman that was any better than what the OP just described. She was in a relationship. She broke up with him. She told you the truth. And she is up front about hooking up. What more do you want? A unicorn? They do not exist. The blue pill is simply self-hypnosis, just like love. Women didn't do it to you. You did it to yourself. You chose to believe in something that never existed.

It's kind of like women complaining about the knight in shiny armor taking her out to dinner and then trying to get his d!ck wet afterwards. She then goes off to complain to her female friends that all guys just want sex. Well, DUH. Did nature created anything else???? Or was it just your own self-delusion?

After 18 (probably even sooner), an attractive female develops a "pretty girl ego." She is incapable of melding into one with another person after that point. She has become too solidified. Egos cannot lose themselves into another person. It's like dieing and falling into a black hole. Egos can only manipulate to get what they want out of self interest. Attention, validation, riding the c0ck carousel, these all all just manifestations of that.

Women aren't the only ones with egos. Men have egos too. You ever seen two adults trying to make a relationship work? It looks like two pieces of concrete banging into each other. Their personalities are too rigid, and their egos are too concreted to lose themselves in "love". Romance is a game for kids (who hadn't fully developed their egos yet). Kids can meld into one. People who marry young tend to stay together forever because they have already become two sides of the same coin. For adults, it is a game of attrition, self interest, and manipulation.

When you swallow this pill, everything actually becomes more fun. You free yourself from your own expectations. You free people.

I wasnt complaining about these types of women. I was showing guys who fall for women how they can all potentially act and fast.