If you learn nothing else from reading this forum...

[RogueWarrior]

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it
back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil b**ches. Don't mess with them.

 

[So pimp its scary]

LMAO!!!

That was great...

It reminds me of the tall tale of the bridge builder.

'A man can build 1000 bridges, but make the mistake to suck one c0ck, and for the rest of his days he is not known as a bridge builder, but a c0cksucker.'

 

[MrHarris]

LOL, although I do not agree with the moral of the story. To think that all women are clever evil bytches is to give them more power than they deserve in your life.

I do believe in the gay agenda also which is to keep man and woman apart and in hatred towards each other.

 

[platinumike]

damn...I cant blame the guy.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

that was....alright I guess....should be in the Anything else section, and the title is misleading. I heard it already so meh

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by Microphone Fiend
that was....alright I guess....should be in the Anything else section, and the title is misleading. I heard it already so meh

Agreed. Anything Else... though funny joke.

 

[Baruch]

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked
for $20 for their first lovemaking encounter.

In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was
repeated each and every time they made love for the next 30 years; with him
thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other
incidentals that she needed.

However; arriving home around noon one day, the wife was surprised to find
her husband in a very drunken state. Over the next few minutes, he explained
that his company had gone through a process of corporate downsizing, and he
had been let go. It was unlikely that at the age of 55, he'd be able to find
another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning; and
therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed thirty years of
deposits and interest totaling nearly $1M.

Then, she showed him stock certificates issued by the bank which were worth
over $2M!

Then she informed him that they were the largest stockholders in the bank
and explained that for 30 years, she had charged him for sex and these
holdings were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3M, her husband was
so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and
blurted out . . .

"Holy crap woman! If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would’ve given
you all my business!"