Master Don Juan
- Sep 16, 2005
- Reaction score
- Mile High City, USA
I was in a 9-year LTR. Never wanted to get married and she didn't pressure about it. It ended about 4.5 years ago. After about 6 years in, my attraction for her started to decline. It was all me. She kept in really good shape; we worked out at the gym, biked, hiked, and she taught Pilates and yoga. But, I just wasn't into her that way anymore. Had I hit my head and gotten amnesia, I would have said "Wow, hot chick!" as she was easily a HB8+ from Croatia.It is possible for previously desirable women to become unattractive, and it's much more difficult for a man to "hold up his end," when he isn't properly motivated(unless he just has very low standards); so, I doubt it's always and only the women withholding sex.
But if you have a hot fudge sundae every day, at some point, you'll get sick of them.
And that's what happened.
Towards the end, I remember never initiating sexual encounters with her and even avoiding it. Had zero interest--in her anyway. Other girls? Yes. It was just the same thing all the time. And I don't think outfits and toys and all that jazz would have changed my mind. Plus, some of her personality traits were a real turnoff. She was more of a prude and not a s*lut, but she thought she was ALWAYS right and her way was ALWAYS best, etc. She was also independent (which is good), but she over did it and had a feminist flare to her. Had separate rooms (her idea). We did get along pretty good and from a household operations perspective, she was A+. We also had many similar interests, loved fitness and outdoors, and even bought a dog together (I have it), so all that kept us together longer than we should have. But, none of that turned me on, and I lost interest.
I remember when we broke up, it was a big "WHEW!" to me as now I was free to do whatever without always having to consider another person. I recall telling people that "I felt bad for not feeling bad about it." I really couldn't care less and still don't. I told her once we broke up I'm not the kind to reach out, hang out, all that crap. We're done and that's it and I'm moving on. No hard feelings.
So yes, men can pull the plug on sex too. I did.
Men, from a DNA-level, aren't even meant to be married. We're designed to mate with as many females as possible to spread our DNA as much as we can in the gene pool. That's why men are sex-driven and women are more into families, raising kids, and relationships. It's simple evolution and hasn't changed in 100,000’s of years despite the internet and social media. Marriage was invented as a way to produce (many) offspring and have them cared for and help us on our property when we were largely an agrarian society. But that was hundreds of years ago.
Men largely don't marry for sex. They get married for companionship and they want someone to love them. 100% true. Many fear being alone. Most married men are not alpha, but very beta, as they understand the sacrifices they will make for this “companionship.”
I don’t hold contempt or look down on anyone who is or wants to get married. It’s just not for me.