Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

I Think I’m Done..

FMCSMT

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2017
Messages
221
Reaction score
153
Age
43
I’ve have many friends and that makes it difficult to spin plates. I was awakened to all of that which is red pill and brought here by the Rational Male in 2017, 2 years after divorce with children.

I can’t lie, what I’ve learned has helped me on many levels of my life. I’ve attracted beautiful but I never make them my focus and I never allow them to move in and I’m upfront about it. When they ask..

I’m not one to complain and I prefer solutions, if I have them.

I’ll try to paint a recent picture of the current market. Been out of it a few months but focused on money and weights. I’ve always worked out and have a decent face. I rate myself an 8.

So this smoking hot single mom apparently from my high school and my class but I don’t remember her at all comes over and we banged right away like any other “date” I’ve been on when I first meet her. She was super fun but said she was seeing another guy and I always don’t care. I don’t care so much that I’ve been called out on that many times with women. She said she wasn’t exclusive and just started seeing him. I didn’t care and didn’t ask. She didn’t bring him up but one time.

So I go about my life no big deal and still not caring or thinking about it. But I scrolled through Facebook the following evening and she’s posting her with this other guy saying how much she loves him.

It messed me up. That same night she was texting that she wanted to come over. I didn’t respond until the next day and never brought other dude up or acted any different and only being with her one night and then seeing this cut me down. Like what is going on in my head? Is the Bluepill creeping back in?

Anyways, she’s a trainwreck with 4 kids, 3 baby daddy’s, major drinking issues but I liked her fine body and bedroom performance. I also never tell a woman I like banging her but she’s been messenging me how much she liked it. Many times.

She lives 3 hours away and came down to my area again this weekend and told me she was coming down. I told her I might be busy but hit me up.

Instead she posts again with other dude and I see it again. She drove down I suppose to be with him and I.

What’s the problem right? It just messes with my head. My friends and close family work on themselves too and have leveled up many times and they look at the simple fact that this Facebook posting is upsetting me and the gal needs to go. They are actually pretty adamant about this. They don’t control my life but I value their input.

So I deleted her from all. And this is my issue. I have no-contacted several women for behavior that I don’t agree with and affects my life for 60 days and it works. But I’ve been there so many times that this all doesn’t feel worth it.

I may sound like a pu$$y and I’m a pretty tough guy but the pain is what I’m tired of. I think it’s better to have never loved at all, then to love and lose (using the analogy, don’t get hung up on the L word because I don’t use it ever).

The pain of seeing her with another dude.

The pain of deleting her from all social venues, blocking from phone included.

Always a brief reprieve at the point usually.

Then the pain of her reaching out through friends or other means. And having to answer for erasing them, which I don’t answer at all. But you get the picture.

Time goes on, no more pain and I forgot all about her.

I still hear from the girls I’ve dated through their friends that they are still hurt from me ghosting.

I don’t like hurting other people.

Any other mature men out there experience this pattern?

Any advice is also welcome. Uplifting anything would be helpful.

The only way I see it to avoid this pain is to no longer participate. I have 3 kids that I have custody of and a bright future with great income and great friends and family.

I was once married to a 10 and with her since I was 16-34. I’m now 40 and look 30. I’ve slept with about 25 women in my life, all good experiences. But the 60 minute sweat sessions aren’t worth the pain that follows, mentally.

That’s where I’m at in nutshell. Hopefully you have some encouragement but I am feeling done and a bit down. Thanks in advance.
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,495
Reaction score
2,627
Hey brother

We hear you. Loud and clear.

Pain is not fun. But it reminds us that we are alive. And that life is a gift. We need pain, and not in a masochistic way but a fundamental ingredient for growth. If you didn't feel it, you wouldn't know falling from rising. And right now, it's your time to rise.

Rise above your pain and this moment. Pain is a reminder that life has its downs, but it is a reminder of how good the ups are. So embrace it.

What you feel is real and don't run away from it. Feel it and use it to catapult you forward. You said you have 3 kids, and we're sure while it doesn't always feel that way, they are a miracle and your true love. Why not focus on them for a while? Make it your responsibility to get to know 1 new passion of each of them that you didn't know they had and experience that with them.

Forget about women for a bit and focus on yourself and your kids.

We love road trips for that reason. It always forces us to face our existence and thoughts. And we always come back realigned when we see the world around us and how much real suffering there is out there. All of a sudden, our troubles seem so insignificant.

Think of it as how insignificant this planet is in the vast space of the universe. Planet Earth is just a very pale blue dot among this vastness. Our problems are the same way, when you zoom out and put things in perspective, it humbles us.

Hope this helps.

Modern Man Advice
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,936
Reaction score
12,146
Location
DFW, TX
I’ve have many friends and that makes it difficult to spin plates. I was awakened to all of that which is red pill and brought here by the Rational Male in 2017, 2 years after divorce with children.

I can’t lie, what I’ve learned has helped me on many levels of my life. I’ve attracted beautiful but I never make them my focus and I never allow them to move in and I’m upfront about it. When they ask..

I’m not one to complain and I prefer solutions, if I have them.

I’ll try to paint a recent picture of the current market. Been out of it a few months but focused on money and weights. I’ve always worked out and have a decent face. I rate myself an 8.

So this smoking hot single mom apparently from my high school and my class but I don’t remember her at all comes over and we banged right away like any other “date” I’ve been on when I first meet her. She was super fun but said she was seeing another guy and I always don’t care. I don’t care so much that I’ve been called out on that many times with women. She said she wasn’t exclusive and just started seeing him. I didn’t care and didn’t ask. She didn’t bring him up but one time.

So I go about my life no big deal and still not caring or thinking about it. But I scrolled through Facebook the following evening and she’s posting her with this other guy saying how much she loves him.

It messed me up. That same night she was texting that she wanted to come over. I didn’t respond until the next day and never brought other dude up or acted any different and only being with her one night and then seeing this cut me down. Like what is going on in my head? Is the Bluepill creeping back in?

Anyways, she’s a trainwreck with 4 kids, 3 baby daddy’s, major drinking issues but I liked her fine body and bedroom performance. I also never tell a woman I like banging her but she’s been messenging me how much she liked it. Many times.

She lives 3 hours away and came down to my area again this weekend and told me she was coming down. I told her I might be busy but hit me up.

Instead she posts again with other dude and I see it again. She drove down I suppose to be with him and I.

What’s the problem right? It just messes with my head. My friends and close family work on themselves too and have leveled up many times and they look at the simple fact that this Facebook posting is upsetting me and the gal needs to go. They are actually pretty adamant about this. They don’t control my life but I value their input.

So I deleted her from all. And this is my issue. I have no-contacted several women for behavior that I don’t agree with and affects my life for 60 days and it works. But I’ve been there so many times that this all doesn’t feel worth it.

I may sound like a pu$$y and I’m a pretty tough guy but the pain is what I’m tired of. I think it’s better to have never loved at all, then to love and lose (using the analogy, don’t get hung up on the L word because I don’t use it ever).

The pain of seeing her with another dude.

The pain of deleting her from all social venues, blocking from phone included.

Always a brief reprieve at the point usually.

Then the pain of her reaching out through friends or other means. And having to answer for erasing them, which I don’t answer at all. But you get the picture.

Time goes on, no more pain and I forgot all about her.

I still hear from the girls I’ve dated through their friends that they are still hurt from me ghosting.

I don’t like hurting other people.

Any other mature men out there experience this pattern?

Any advice is also welcome. Uplifting anything would be helpful.

The only way I see it to avoid this pain is to no longer participate. I have 3 kids that I have custody of and a bright future with great income and great friends and family.

I was once married to a 10 and with her since I was 16-34. I’m now 40 and look 30. I’ve slept with about 25 women in my life, all good experiences. But the 60 minute sweat sessions aren’t worth the pain that follows, mentally.

That’s where I’m at in nutshell. Hopefully you have some encouragement but I am feeling done and a bit down. Thanks in advance.
Mindset
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
4,952
Reaction score
4,773
Age
32
Location
Eye of the storm
This is messing with your head? At least you're not the other dude, a cuck, I doubt he knows about you the way you know about him.

You didn't ever consider a relationship with her anyways, did you? Let it all go then.

If you can't handle participating in that twisted game then yeah, you should quit playing it. Keep away from the trash and only consider women who gives you more hope that it won't end in pain.
 

NSX-R

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2014
Messages
1,222
Reaction score
818
Location
The land of improvement
I think i know what’s the issue. You really don’t care about that woman and it shows in the way you respond to her . The issue is that she puts you in the Number 2 position and that messes up your ego . Nobody wants to be the plan b and that’s why you feel that way .

I also have the same problem and i don’t really yet know the answer to this unfortunately.
 

SirBigBell

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 28, 2018
Messages
399
Reaction score
761
I’ve have many friends and that makes it difficult to spin plates. I was awakened to all of that which is red pill and brought here by the Rational Male in 2017, 2 years after divorce with children.

I can’t lie, what I’ve learned has helped me on many levels of my life. I’ve attracted beautiful but I never make them my focus and I never allow them to move in and I’m upfront about it. When they ask..

I’m not one to complain and I prefer solutions, if I have them.

I’ll try to paint a recent picture of the current market. Been out of it a few months but focused on money and weights. I’ve always worked out and have a decent face. I rate myself an 8.

So this smoking hot single mom apparently from my high school and my class but I don’t remember her at all comes over and we banged right away like any other “date” I’ve been on when I first meet her. She was super fun but said she was seeing another guy and I always don’t care. I don’t care so much that I’ve been called out on that many times with women. She said she wasn’t exclusive and just started seeing him. I didn’t care and didn’t ask. She didn’t bring him up but one time.

So I go about my life no big deal and still not caring or thinking about it. But I scrolled through Facebook the following evening and she’s posting her with this other guy saying how much she loves him.

It messed me up. That same night she was texting that she wanted to come over. I didn’t respond until the next day and never brought other dude up or acted any different and only being with her one night and then seeing this cut me down. Like what is going on in my head? Is the Bluepill creeping back in?

Anyways, she’s a trainwreck with 4 kids, 3 baby daddy’s, major drinking issues but I liked her fine body and bedroom performance. I also never tell a woman I like banging her but she’s been messenging me how much she liked it. Many times.

She lives 3 hours away and came down to my area again this weekend and told me she was coming down. I told her I might be busy but hit me up.

Instead she posts again with other dude and I see it again. She drove down I suppose to be with him and I.

What’s the problem right? It just messes with my head. My friends and close family work on themselves too and have leveled up many times and they look at the simple fact that this Facebook posting is upsetting me and the gal needs to go. They are actually pretty adamant about this. They don’t control my life but I value their input.

So I deleted her from all. And this is my issue. I have no-contacted several women for behavior that I don’t agree with and affects my life for 60 days and it works. But I’ve been there so many times that this all doesn’t feel worth it.

I may sound like a pu$$y and I’m a pretty tough guy but the pain is what I’m tired of. I think it’s better to have never loved at all, then to love and lose (using the analogy, don’t get hung up on the L word because I don’t use it ever).

The pain of seeing her with another dude.

The pain of deleting her from all social venues, blocking from phone included.

Always a brief reprieve at the point usually.

Then the pain of her reaching out through friends or other means. And having to answer for erasing them, which I don’t answer at all. But you get the picture.

Time goes on, no more pain and I forgot all about her.

I still hear from the girls I’ve dated through their friends that they are still hurt from me ghosting.

I don’t like hurting other people.

Any other mature men out there experience this pattern?

Any advice is also welcome. Uplifting anything would be helpful.

The only way I see it to avoid this pain is to no longer participate. I have 3 kids that I have custody of and a bright future with great income and great friends and family.

I was once married to a 10 and with her since I was 16-34. I’m now 40 and look 30. I’ve slept with about 25 women in my life, all good experiences. But the 60 minute sweat sessions aren’t worth the pain that follows, mentally.

That’s where I’m at in nutshell. Hopefully you have some encouragement but I am feeling done and a bit down. Thanks in advance.
I dont judge you in any way for feeling the way you did and for taking the actions you took. But I will give you my opinion on the scenario.

If I were in your shoes I would have behaved differently. Why? Because I would have seen this as an opportunity rather than a liability. If a woman is willing to lock another simp down into a relationship while coming to me for physical fulfilment then thats a win-win for me.

She told you she was casually seeing another dude, yet her social media activities indicate that their interaction is more invested than she claims. This could imply that she is using the other guy for emotional fulfilment, material provision and social proof. You are not willing to supply any of those 3 elements to her, so why not let someone else tick those boxes while you concentrate on just nailing her down into the mattress?

If i were you, I would have just sat back and wait for her to bring the goods whenever she needs coital healing. I wouldnt have blocked and deleted her. I’d have let the other guy feed and groom the cow while I enjoy the milk for free quietly.

In my book, this was an opportunity and not a liability.
 

KindredSpiritzz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2019
Messages
500
Reaction score
501
Age
57
Location
Wisconsin
sounds like you were catching feelings while trying to tell yourself you werent.
"Shes not yours, its just your turn" always puts it into perspective for me when crap like that happens.
It sucks but you cant control what women do, only your reaction to what they do.
If she's hot id keep banging her as a side piece
 

FMCSMT

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2017
Messages
221
Reaction score
153
Age
43
This is messing with your head? At least you're not the other dude, a cuck, I doubt he knows about you the way you know about him.

You didn't ever consider a relationship with her anyways, did you? Let it all go then.

If you can't handle participating in that twisted game then yeah, you should quit playing it. Keep away from the trash and only consider women who gives you more hope that it won't end in pain.
I have no idea if he knows about me but I did go to high school with the guy. He’s a year older and she says he has been living with his parents since high school. My family and friends are more concerned that if he were to find out and get upset, what would he do?

You are right. I should quit playing. I’ve never had a relationship not end in pain.
 

FMCSMT

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2017
Messages
221
Reaction score
153
Age
43
Hey brother

We hear you. Loud and clear.

Pain is not fun. But it reminds us that we are alive. And that life is a gift. We need pain, and not in a masochistic way but a fundamental ingredient for growth. If you didn't feel it, you wouldn't know falling from rising. And right now, it's your time to rise.

Rise above your pain and this moment. Pain is a reminder that life has its downs, but it is a reminder of how good the ups are. So embrace it.

What you feel is real and don't run away from it. Feel it and use it to catapult you forward. You said you have 3 kids, and we're sure while it doesn't always feel that way, they are a miracle and your true love. Why not focus on them for a while? Make it your responsibility to get to know 1 new passion of each of them that you didn't know they had and experience that with them.

Forget about women for a bit and focus on yourself and your kids.

We love road trips for that reason. It always forces us to face our existence and thoughts. And we always come back realigned when we see the world around us and how much real suffering there is out there. All of a sudden, our troubles seem so insignificant.

Think of it as how insignificant this planet is in the vast space of the universe. Planet Earth is just a very pale blue dot among this vastness. Our problems are the same way, when you zoom out and put things in perspective, it humbles us.

Hope this helps.

Modern Man Advice
I’ve been single for a year. Not sure if I mentioned that. I spend loads of quality time with my kids. We are doing stuff all the time. We also road trip and travel all over. My oldest drove me home for the first time in his life yesterday. He just got his permit.

One of my closest friends also talked about pain the same way you do.

The 10,000 foot view is an analogy I reference often.

I do tend to run away from this type of pain. Fast and hard. From the 10,000 view, I just wish I would have ran away sooner..
 

FMCSMT

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2017
Messages
221
Reaction score
153
Age
43
I dont judge you in any way for feeling the way you did and for taking the actions you took. But I will give you my opinion on the scenario.

If I were in your shoes I would have behaved differently. Why? Because I would have seen this as an opportunity rather than a liability. If a woman is willing to lock another simp down into a relationship while coming to me for physical fulfilment then thats a win-win for me.

She told you she was casually seeing another dude, yet her social media activities indicate that their interaction is more invested than she claims. This could imply that she is using the other guy for emotional fulfilment, material provision and social proof. You are not willing to supply any of those 3 elements to her, so why not let someone else tick those boxes while you concentrate on just nailing her down into the mattress?

If i were you, I would have just sat back and wait for her to bring the goods whenever she needs coital healing. I wouldnt have blocked and deleted her. I’d have let the other guy feed and groom the cow while I enjoy the milk for free quietly.

In my book, this was an opportunity and not a liability.
Great response! If I had handled this correctly as you mentioned then I could have had at least some milk.

Mom did teach me to buy my milk by the gallon like everyone else so I don’t end up with a dry cow the rest of my life.
 

FMCSMT

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2017
Messages
221
Reaction score
153
Age
43
sounds like you were catching feelings while trying to tell yourself you werent.
"Shes not yours, its just your turn" always puts it into perspective for me when crap like that happens.
It sucks but you cant control what women do, only your reaction to what they do.
If she's hot id keep banging her as a side piece
Oh yes, I’m famous for this quote myself. And perhaps I was catching feelings. She is hot and fun and seemed genuinely into me but the social media and likely the lack of women over the last year just hit me at the wrong time. Totally knocked me off kilter. Full depression mode. Starting to come out of it today. Been here many times though, feelings or not. The pain that is. I don’t like getting hurt and it bothers me when they get hurt from me protecting myself. I’ve heard a lot of them cry and to my face and for long periods of time and through their friends and family. It’s not easy but I still cut them out. I never promised anything to any of them. And I still feel pain.
 

derby1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2017
Messages
3,316
Reaction score
3,461
But I scrolled through Facebook the following evening and she’s posting her with this other guy saying how much she loves him.
1)OP Every woman is in a relationship, every single one one of them, they are predictable.

2) Imagine it is 6 months in and this woman has done something to put you off her a little..you stop chasing and lose a little interest. Imagine that moment is now
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,293
Reaction score
4,811
Age
44
I’ve have many friends and that makes it difficult to spin plates. I was awakened to all of that which is red pill and brought here by the Rational Male in 2017, 2 years after divorce with children.

I can’t lie, what I’ve learned has helped me on many levels of my life. I’ve attracted beautiful but I never make them my focus and I never allow them to move in and I’m upfront about it. When they ask..

I’m not one to complain and I prefer solutions, if I have them.

I’ll try to paint a recent picture of the current market. Been out of it a few months but focused on money and weights. I’ve always worked out and have a decent face. I rate myself an 8.

So this smoking hot single mom apparently from my high school and my class but I don’t remember her at all comes over and we banged right away like any other “date” I’ve been on when I first meet her. She was super fun but said she was seeing another guy and I always don’t care. I don’t care so much that I’ve been called out on that many times with women. She said she wasn’t exclusive and just started seeing him. I didn’t care and didn’t ask. She didn’t bring him up but one time.

So I go about my life no big deal and still not caring or thinking about it. But I scrolled through Facebook the following evening and she’s posting her with this other guy saying how much she loves him.

It messed me up. That same night she was texting that she wanted to come over. I didn’t respond until the next day and never brought other dude up or acted any different and only being with her one night and then seeing this cut me down. Like what is going on in my head? Is the Bluepill creeping back in?

Anyways, she’s a trainwreck with 4 kids, 3 baby daddy’s, major drinking issues but I liked her fine body and bedroom performance. I also never tell a woman I like banging her but she’s been messenging me how much she liked it. Many times.

She lives 3 hours away and came down to my area again this weekend and told me she was coming down. I told her I might be busy but hit me up.

Instead she posts again with other dude and I see it again. She drove down I suppose to be with him and I.

What’s the problem right? It just messes with my head. My friends and close family work on themselves too and have leveled up many times and they look at the simple fact that this Facebook posting is upsetting me and the gal needs to go. They are actually pretty adamant about this. They don’t control my life but I value their input.

So I deleted her from all. And this is my issue. I have no-contacted several women for behavior that I don’t agree with and affects my life for 60 days and it works. But I’ve been there so many times that this all doesn’t feel worth it.

I may sound like a pu$$y and I’m a pretty tough guy but the pain is what I’m tired of. I think it’s better to have never loved at all, then to love and lose (using the analogy, don’t get hung up on the L word because I don’t use it ever).

The pain of seeing her with another dude.

The pain of deleting her from all social venues, blocking from phone included.

Always a brief reprieve at the point usually.

Then the pain of her reaching out through friends or other means. And having to answer for erasing them, which I don’t answer at all. But you get the picture.

Time goes on, no more pain and I forgot all about her.

I still hear from the girls I’ve dated through their friends that they are still hurt from me ghosting.

I don’t like hurting other people.

Any other mature men out there experience this pattern?

Any advice is also welcome. Uplifting anything would be helpful.

The only way I see it to avoid this pain is to no longer participate. I have 3 kids that I have custody of and a bright future with great income and great friends and family.

I was once married to a 10 and with her since I was 16-34. I’m now 40 and look 30. I’ve slept with about 25 women in my life, all good experiences. But the 60 minute sweat sessions aren’t worth the pain that follows, mentally.

That’s where I’m at in nutshell. Hopefully you have some encouragement but I am feeling done and a bit down. Thanks in advance.
I think you did the right thing (for yourself) by cutting her off. If that's what works for you then that's great. But I think regarding the pain you felt is an indication that you gave her too much importance in the first place. A woman like that shouldn't be important to you - you should see the mess she's made of her life and keep her at a distance emotionally, even if you do decide to bang her.
 

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
4,808
Reaction score
1,242
Location
The Dirty South
I don't understand the problem here. You just said she was a road***** with 3 babydaddies, and this behavior SURPRISES you? If she continually comes back you, what is messing with your head? Why would this cause any self-esteem or confidence issues?

Are you just in love with the feeling she gives you or something? Or are you the type who loves the dopamine hits from social media posts? Not meaning to insult you, but just not seeing the downside here. Downside would be if you got her pregnant.
 
Top