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BillyPilgrim

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What I don’t understand is guys who get worked up over this.
It's because there's a bigger picture here; it's for the sake of our gender. First world society isn't sustainable if the male gender isn't suitably motivated to maintain it, and a lot of this motivation comes from women. All of the creature comforts, etc that you presently enjoy don't exist without the male buy-in to be maximally productive.
 

BeExcellent

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It's because there's a bigger picture here; it's for the sake of our gender. First world society isn't sustainable if the male gender isn't suitably motivated to maintain it, and a lot of this motivation comes from women. All of the creature comforts, etc that you presently enjoy don't exist without the male buy-in to be maximally productive.
Wrong. All the creature comforts I enjoy are a result of my own ambition, work ethic & industriousness. No one helped me become the success I am today. In fact my first husband has me to thank for the lifestyle he enjoyed (and still enjoys) on my nickel. And although I’ve always been good looking etc. I never traded on that. I earned a living in business and in a STEM field (still do).

Rather than complain about things like this why not create/upgrade your own personal power? I (especially as a pretty woman) could have traded on my looks and could have looked for man to take care of me, but I didn’t. Some of my clients have never seen me. They don’t hire me for looks, but for ability. Ditto my business endeavors.

Granted I do not live in a country where women are by law not allowed freedoms we accept as routine in the US…

But without my own efforts I’d have nothing & would have accomplished nothing. And if you say well historically you wouldn’t enjoy things but for men? Well dear the same is true for you too in US ;)
 

BackInTheGame78

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Wrong. All the creature comforts I enjoy are a result of my own ambition, work ethic & industriousness. No one helped me become the success I am today. In fact my first husband has me to thank for the lifestyle he enjoyed (and still enjoys) on my nickel. And although I’ve always been good looking etc. I never traded on that. I earned a living in business and in a STEM field (still do).

Rather than complain about things like this why not create/upgrade your own personal power? I (especially as a pretty woman) could have traded on my looks and could have looked for man to take care of me, but I didn’t. Some of my clients have never seen me. They don’t hire me for looks, but for ability. Ditto my business endeavors.

Granted I do not live in a country where women are by law not allowed freedoms we accept as routine in the US…

But without my own efforts I’d have nothing & would have accomplished nothing. And if you say well historically you wouldn’t enjoy things but for men? Well dear the same is true for you too in US ;)
Kudos to you, but there ARE women like that out there which I am sure you know. Like Anna Nicole Smith marrying some 90 year old rich dude...like c'mon. She seriously thinks anyone believes she married him because she is in love with him or because he puts it down better than anyone she ever has been with??

But I don't see where this vitriol comes from with guys that seemingly need to "get back" at women like that. Negative emotional energy expended in any capacity only serves to bring you down and lower your vibrational frequencies which prevents you from truly ascending to the level you can be. I wouldn't spend one second thinking or worrying about how to "get revenge" on someone. It's a worthless endeavor that does nothing good for you in either the short or long term.

If that's their focus they must really not have anything worthwhile going on in their life.
 

BeExcellent

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Look you guys have got to get off the all men are great and all women are idiots train.

And you wonder why you fail to succeed with women.

Um. Give up your personal
power & blame a faulty belief system much?

History shows us many great women in positions of power for example. Look at Queen Elizabeth II and Margaret Thatcher in UK (both of whom I respect greatly), Indira Ghandi in India, Condi Rice & Sandra Day OConnor in US….the list is long. Look at Oprah for crying out loud. The woman is a self made billionaire who did not come from privilege.

You guys need to leave the house and create your own best life. Quit complaining.

@BackInTheGame78

Yes exactly. Agree 100%
 

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Chilimili

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That doesn’t make sense. You can have lots of things going on in your life and already upgraded in any level you can. I’m busy everyday for hours.

You need to humble women anyways because of their countless validation and attention. It’s more about respect here and not revenge. There are countless high value men with women lower status and at some point when they get comfortable they will act out. All women will act out when they get comfortable in a relationship. Meanwhile they forgot they are easily replaceable for guys like this, humbling them would be in this case showing her that you are willing to replace her, giving them a taste of their own medicine. Which is also all part of the game.



What worked for me so far was silence and distance and when they come back giving them a taste of their own games. got one to apologise to me and another who was willing to meet my expectation this week



I wouldn’t really take advice from a women
 

stringpuller

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He found himself excused from my car & sent on his way. Another time I simply left after explaining that if whatever he was on about did not stop…I was leaving. And I did
Was he driving or were you? Lol

There's no way in hell I would be engaged to a woman who talked to me like this without expecting to be slapped to be quite honest. Ofcourse I dont act like a moronic tool so.....
He is a very handsome man used to acting bratty and women being afraid to lose him so they’d put up with it.
But you suddenly found the right buttons right? Lol

The behavior has stopped a long time ago now and he has learned to behave better because that is what I require because I respect myself.
He is a beta dumbazz if he is putting up with this kind of feminist attitude from you.
Your attraction will eventually fade.
 

stringpuller

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And you wonder why you fail to succeed with women
Who is failing?
Um. Give up your personal
power & blame a faulty belief system much?
No
History shows us many great women in positions of power for example
Who? Cleopatra? Screwed her brother then killed herself
Queen Elizabeth II and Margaret Thatcher in UK
Jokes
You guys need to leave the house and create your own best life. Quit complaining.
And you need to learn the value of Stfu and submit to your husband. Eos.
 

stringpuller

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Wrong. All the creature comforts I enjoy are a result of my own ambition, work ethic & industriousness. No one helped me become the success I am today. In fact my first husband has me to thank for the lifestyle he enjoyed (and still enjoys) on my nickel. And although I’ve always been good looking etc. I never traded on that. I earned a living in business and in a STEM field (still do).

Rather than complain about things like this why not create/upgrade your own personal power? I (especially as a pretty woman) could have traded on my looks and could have looked for man to take care of me, but I didn’t. Some of my clients have never seen me. They don’t hire me for looks, but for ability. Ditto my business endeavors.

Granted I do not live in a country where women are by law not allowed freedoms we accept as routine in the US…

But without my own efforts I’d have nothing & would have accomplished nothing. And if you say well historically you wouldn’t enjoy things but for men? Well dear the same is true for you too in US ;)
You have not been humbled correctly. Any decent woman would not let this crap out of her mouth.
 

catsmeow2

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Just my $.02 as a woman but I tend to agree with @stringpuller about this.
Not as harshly of course, but it has some truths to it. At least on some level.

@BeExcellent your response to your boyfriend (now fiancé) did seem a bit heavy-handed, like a mother punishing her child.

It's very masculine energy imo. Which I suspect is why (or one reason why) many men on this forum appreciate your posts and value you, unlike they do me.

Oh some do, but generally I'm not valued here. I'm very feminine energy, my posts reflect that, so it's to be expected, I understand it.

Anyway, no judgment, you're you and I also value your posts.

But back to your boyfriend, apparently this dynamic works for him (and you) so I won't argue with it only to say there are better ways of handing it, less heavy-handed and aggressive.

Less punishing like he's your child which it how it comes off, sorry.

Again jmo..

Edit: @stringpuller is right, most masculine energy, dominant men (not in an overly aggressive or bullyish way) would ever tolerate that, including my hubs.

Lord, I cringe at how he would respond to being treated and spoken to in that style and manner.

I never would, not my style and I didn't need to be 'humbled' into behaving that way either. To me, it's about respect, my respect for him..

But again, if that works for both of you and has for previous boyfriends then so be, not my place to judge, simply providing my opinion.
 
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IKO69

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There's some good advice already. The best way to deal with bad women is to leave them alone. You don't stoop to their level (you don't want to carry that around in your consciousness and heart). They will get what they deserve if they are as bad as you say.
 

BeExcellent

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Was he driving or were you? Lol

There's no way in hell I would be engaged to a woman who talked to me like this without expecting to be slapped to be quite honest. Ofcourse I dont act like a moronic tool so.....

But you suddenly found the right buttons right? Lol


He is a beta dumbazz if he is putting up with this kind of feminist attitude from you.
Your attraction will eventually fade.
If someone behaves in a disrespectful manner they lose the privilege of enjoying my company. He is anything but beta. He has learned that I respect myself and require him to respect me. I respect him but there are boundaries to acceptable behavior. I set boundaries just as any self respecting person will.

I did not allow disrespect early on, I enforced my boundaries and applied silence & distance if needed (a time or two)…He knew I had other options and he sees my value so that was early on and he adjusted his behavior.

He had dated very beautiful women but they were often types who traded on their looks (models, strippers, groupies) in LA, and expected to be spoiled & catered to and he found them shallow and only suitable for sex after a while. That is what he became accustomed to and he could be disrespectful because these were women who were insecure, neurotic and full of drama…but they wanted him after they realized they couldn’t boss him. He finds me very attractive but he likes the substance I have in addition to looks.

He can be difficult. That requires grace, forgiveness and patience to deal with. He does not appreciate social graces and obligations at times (he is naturally an aloof lone wolf type) who is fine being that way but he also has a warmth, a big heart and a benevolence about him but the world at large does not see that. They see the aloofness and consider it arrogant because he is very handsome. He is misunderstood at times and he knows this. He knows I know too and because I have greater social attenuation he benefit from that. He knows he benefits. So we complement one another well.

Once or twice checking to correct an impolite or arrogant behavior is not the same thing as day in day out dressing down. I treat him like a king, he knows I love him & he feels my love in the things I do and the way I treat him.

He deeply appreciates me and shows his love in big and small ways. I drive at times. I have a nicer car than him & sometimes I like showing up in style. Often he drives us in his car too, and he likes driving me, opening my door and so forth. He prefers I wait for him to get the door for me, he likes to pull out my chair, he prefers to order for me. I like this chivalrous nature and I let him do those things & he enjoys doing them. I have a feminine energy with him, a softness and accepting and giving energy. He is the man. But at times he was too over the top, and at those times I have checked him.

There were times (rare but there are some) I checked my father too, when he was out of line. Once or twice he was furious but later realized I had a point (and I made it.). The end result of exhibiting self respect is garnering the respect of others. My father had a deep respect for me and the men who know me do as well. My fiancé does as well.

I’m not involved with anyone here. So I speak just as I would with friends; my deference is reserved for my man, and he leads, trust me.
 
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catsmeow2

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If someone behaves in a disrespectful manner they lose the privilege of enjoying my company. He is anything but beta. He has learned that I respect myself and require him to respect me. I respect him but there are boundaries to acceptable behavior. I set boundaries just as any self respecting person will.

I did not allow disrespect early on, I enforced my boundaries and applied silence & distance if needed (a time or two)…He knew I had other options and he sees my value so that was early on and he adjusted his behavior.
@Be I wholeheartedly agree with you. 100%! 1000%! Where we differ is in the application. Which is okay, no wrong or right, different strokes and all that.

You posted there was a time you excused your now-fiancé from your car. Now to me, that sounds like a mom punishing her kid, but I am sure that wasn't your intention. It's just what it sounds like, to me.

This is something I would never do especially to a man I loved and respected. Nor would HE have accepted it. It's debasing and degrading to be kicked out of your partner's car (unless there was physical abuse).

So I am a bit surprised it had the intended effect on your boyfriend, but so be. Your boyfriend responded favorably to it, which is all that matters at the end of the day.

Same with silence and distance. I have used that strategy on boyfriends and it always backfired on me. Why? Because it's masculine energy and the men I attracted and became romantically involved with were attracted to feminine energy.

Men employ silence and distance with women and it typically works! For all the reasons explained on this thread and others.

But when I (as a feminine woman) employed same strategy, they'd distance themselves and remain distant and it would be up to me to break the ice. They never tolerated it.

Double standard? Yes but it is what it is, as they say. Masculine/feminine, yin/yang.

There's a polarity and as such, we respond to different things. Again my experience.

I believe in communication in resolving issues, including when I feel disrespected. My husband appreciates that about me so much! That I don't "punish" per se, but that I attempt to resolve issues by communicating in a calm rational manner. He has A LOT of respect for me so he listens and gets it.

Before me, he had experienced women going silent and then distancing themselves and he viewed it as childish pouting. His attitude was like "be a grown up for chrissakes and talk to me"!

In any event, I am glad everything worked out! You and your fiancé seem like a great fit.

So congrats on your upcoming marriage and wish you both much happiness and peace on your journey together. :)
.
 
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oldmanofthesea

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It's because there's a bigger picture here; it's for the sake of our gender. First world society isn't sustainable if the male gender isn't suitably motivated to maintain it, and a lot of this motivation comes from women. All of the creature comforts, etc that you presently enjoy don't exist without the male buy-in to be maximally productive.
You won't humble a woman by talking to her, and you won't make her better for another man through anything you say to her. All you can do is what BE said which is to apply silence and distance, or dump her depending on severity of offense or on her response to your silence and distance and boundary setting. Dumping her for her behavior has the best chance at fixing her for another man but even then, there is only about a 0.5% chance of that happening, and it usually needs to be a pattern that happens to her with multiple men for the same reason before there is a chance of it sinking in. If it doesn't sink in, her alternative course of action is to become bitter and jaded toward men and be completely unable to date.

OP if you want to help other men, offer RP dating advice here and to your friends. You can't fix women for other men for the purpose of fixing women. You can only do you, and in doing so, there is a chance it will have a positive impact on her and others.
 

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BillyPilgrim

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You won't humble a woman by talking to her, and you won't make her better for another man through anything you say to her. All you can do is what BE said which is to apply silence and distance, or dump her depending on severity of offense or on her response to your silence and distance and boundary setting. Dumping her for her behavior has the best chance at fixing her for another man but even then, there is only about a 0.5% chance of that happening, and it usually needs to be a pattern that happens to her with multiple men for the same reason before there is a chance of it sinking in.

I do think we're at a stage societally where a tipping point is about to be reached though - with as degraded and fast-devolving as intergender relations are, I'd argue there is some small practicality involved. This really about doing what we can as red pill men to "shape the container" as Roosh used to say, that is providing the boundaries of acceptable behavior for the purposes of helping to hopefully save first world society.

If enough of the men check out, all of the nice things go away.

It's not just a matter of principle, it may just be a matter of necessity if you are concerned with the state of society. And again, it's easier for "calling women out" to have an effect more so than any time in recent history. A lot of them are on edge anyway because they deep down feel their world view and self-views are fundamentally flawed.
 

Zimbabwe

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When women toy with me I put their numbers on spam websites
 

EyeOnThePrize

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@Chilimili
As others have eluded to, once you let a woman's behavior get under your skin you've already lost.

Whatever she does, your actions should be coming from a place of decisive and natural automation, not frustration. Your actions are simply an expression of your self-respect, so there's nothing to mull over or scheme to 'get even' because nothing has been lost.

I don't bother calling out bad women and let my absence speak for itself. Why should she be graced with my attention when she doesn't deserve it? Why should I spend another precious second thinking about her? Most crap women don't care if they get good or bad attention, either one validates them. Simply remove it and give it to someone worthy.

Eventually she'll find herself with a lower caliber man and be frustrated with his shortcomings, or she'll fuuck around and find out with a guy willing to beat her or whatever. I simply don't have time to play therapist with someone unwilling to grow.

It's effortless and it teaches those aware enough to sense your value that they've lost something good. If they don't see your value, they shouldn't exist in your world to begin with.
 

BeExcellent

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@Be I wholeheartedly agree with you. 100%! 1000%! Where we differ is in the application. Which is okay, no wrong or right, different strokes and all that.

You posted there was a time you excused your now-fiancé from your car. Now to me, that sounds like a mom punishing her kid, but I am sure that wasn't your intention. It's just what it sounds like, to me.

This is something I would never do especially to a man I loved and respected. Nor would HE have accepted it. It's debasing and degrading to be kicked out of your partner's car (unless there was physical abuse).

So I am a bit surprised it had the intended effect on your boyfriend, but so be. Your boyfriend responded favorably to it, which is all that matters at the end of the day.

Same with silence and distance. I have used that strategy on boyfriends and it always backfired on me. Why? Because it's masculine energy and the men I attracted and became romantically involved with were attracted to feminine energy.

Men employ silence and distance with women and it typically works! For all the reasons explained on this thread and others.

But when I (as a feminine woman) employed same strategy, they'd distance themselves and remain distant and it would be up to me to break the ice. They never tolerated it.

Double standard? Yes but it is what it is, as they say. Masculine/feminine, yin/yang.

There's a polarity and as such, we respond to different things. Again my experience.

I believe in communication in resolving issues, including when I feel disrespected. My husband appreciates that about me so much! That I don't "punish" per se, but that I attempt to resolve issues by communicating in a calm rational manner. He has A LOT of respect for me so he listens and gets it.

Before me, he had experienced women going silent and then distancing themselves and he viewed it as childish pouting. His attitude was like "be a grown up for chrissakes and talk to me"!

In any event, I am glad everything worked out! You and your fiancé seem like a great fit.

So congrats on your upcoming marriage and wish you both much happiness and peace on your journey together. :)
.
Thank you.

Silence & distance works perfectly. It’s not pouting or anything silly. I simply go do something else or go spend time elsewhere. There is nothing heavy handed or punishing about it at all. And I don’t worry over it. I take my joyful fun nature somewhere else! Simple :)

It’s simply this: I do not reward sub par behavior with my time. Period. And if someone chooses to behave in a way that is sub par? They know. People are not stupid. Sometimes words are utterly pointless. Actions are what speaks volumes without having to say a thing! These men? They get to miss my company. They get to think about how they behaved and consider the natural consequences of the behavior. Me? I go do other stuff & don’t worry about it because I don’t tolerate behavior that I wouldn’t want to deal with daily. They learn this well.

I have never “given in” and contacted a man in such a situation either. If they were out of line they know it, and if they don’t find my value high enough to initiate communication and behave better? Then they expect to get by with bad behavior and I don’t accept that.
Again, simple. This is not some complicated convoluted thing. It works fine for women and for men. It works in any relationship. Family drama? Withdraw. Do not participate. Relationship drama? Same thing. Work drama? Same thing. Do not engage in an argument, tantrum, drama or emotionally draining scenario. Life is too short!

Respect your own peace of mind above all else. I love me and KNOW I am a super cool person. I’m perfectly happy in my own skin and by myself. Now. I prefer to be partnered. But not at an unreasonable opportunity cost.

What kind of opportunities? Peace & quiet and solitude for one. Enjoyment of social situations with other pleasant people, time with my children, family, friends, being able to do as I please without regard for someone else. Those are all things one must give up or compromise in any close relationship. I’m not making those compromises for an ass hole or for an occasional ass hole….

But here’s the thing. The men who I move away from (because of something distasteful)?They have always reached out.

Always.

Often with an apology or a sincere gesture that shows me they value me and they are serious about making amends. And sometimes they were too late & they had already lost their chance with me.

Oh well.

How I met my fiancé? He was at a venue. I arrived with a double date so two couples. My fiancé saw me immediately and assumed I was married to my date. My date was disagreeable and had already had too much alcohol at a dinner party and was behaving inappropriately. He was embarrassing to the friends we met there. He made some comment like “What am I embarrassing you????” And I said “Really you are embarrassing yourself”…knowing full well that was a defacto piss off statement, even delivered calmly.

So he proceeded to flirt wildly with others that evening and I decided right then & there that I was not going to tolerate that sort of stupidity. So I blew him off and enjoyed my evening irrespective of my date being an idiot. And my fiancé made a point to gain proximity to me, and I said hello. He immediately took that opportunity to chat, to mention that I must be married (I was not) and made a point to get my number before he left. He saw my date’s behavior & took his shot, but mentally I had already written my date off before I noticed my now fiancé. I didn’t expect to meet someone but that night and I was single for all of 2 hours.

I offered to give my drunk date a ride home, he refused, then started blowing my phone up after I left him there. Sorry. Not putting up with that. Slept at my girlfriends home & my fiancé texted to ask me out the next morning. And here we are.

Why tell that whole story? My fiancé KNOWS I will not tolerate stupid behavior in a man. He saw me drop a guy cold for it, and he was the benefactor. So he knows there are other men who are happy to swoop in and have an opportunity with me if he screws up. He knows all I have to do is show up. He’s seen it and people have told him I’m just magnetic somehow. So he knows I am not kidding, joking or playing. He’s seen it.

My fiancé also knows that date from that night knows he screwed up. He (the date) tried to resolve things later (we didn’t speak for 6 weeks) and when he reached out (after thinking he was punishing me,lol?) I was seeing someone who I met that night while he was being a jerk. He was not expecting that.

Oh well. (Shrugs)

I tend to like edgy men. Always have. I’ve dropped men for being too boring. And once in a while people tie one on. But I don’t act badly to my guy…and I don’t stick around or tolerate bad behavior in my guy.

Some people you can reason with. Others, in the moment, require a natural consequence to get the point. Understanding who you are with determines how you handle things.

;)
 

BeExcellent

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@Glassguy should add his 2 cents. He simply withdraws his attention if a chick doesn’t play ball.

As others have said it’s really about valuing yourself first.

Comply or bye.

No random woman determines your self worth. YOU determine your self worth. Who cares what some chick thinks.

You get a longer rope to hang yourself with in a LTR. People are not perfect, they get stressed, understanding and patience is required…but not to the degree of giving up personal standards or autonomy.

You decide what you will and won’t tolerate & let that guide you.

Trying to humble me or some other random woman just makes the man look small, weak and insecure. None of that is attractive. It is the very essence of anti seductive.
 
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