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How would you handle a male neighbor getting too close to your live in girlfriend?

orbit123

Don Juan
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The guy is knocking on our door for random stuff and has made a connection with her 17 year old son. Shes starting to bring up the neighbor more often in conversations...Harmless or should I be looking out for possible cheating?
 

Gamisch

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Wait….17 year old son???

Dude.

You playin with single mom grannies
Could be 37 y.o and (fairly) good looking still. But anyway ,this is why you NEVER wanna move in with a woman. Your flexibility is completely gone.

Makes me wonder what is what is OP to do??

-just sit there and wait for months only to hear all these stories afterwards?( " I need to tell you something ")
- just take his bags and leave?? While there was "nothing " going on?
-claim territory and be hostile towards a neighbor?

Maybe the wrong place to ask this (some like Reddit or quora is more friendly in their response), but if it were me I would be looking for a way out already. No fighting, just leaving
Easier said then done...

Damn this is a explosive situation to be in, best of luck OP.
 

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orbit123

Don Juan
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Wait….17 year old son???

Dude.

You playin with single mom grannies
Could be 37 y.o and (fairly) good looking still. But anyway ,this is why you NEVER wanna move in with a woman. Your flexibility is completely gone.

Makes me wonder what is what is OP to do??

-just sit there and wait for months only to hear all these stories afterwards?( " I need to tell you something ")
- just take his bags and leave?? While there was "nothing " going on?
-claim territory and be hostile towards a neighbor?

Maybe the wrong place to ask this (some like Reddit or quora is more friendly in their response), but if it were me I would be looking for a way out already. No fighting, just leaving
Easier said then done...

Damn this is a explosive situation to be in, best of luck OP.
You bring up some excellent points. Maybe im being too paranoid and she would think im crazy for leaving but on the other hand my intuition might be right. Ive debated telling the guy to get lost and actually brought it up to her and she told me it would be mean for me telling him that. I was gonna do it but she talked me out of it. The weirdest part is now her parents have went over to his house to help him with a handy project of his house. This guy is getting way too close for comfort. I am a private person and this is why i dont like getting to know neighbors too much. I asked her if it would be cool if i start showing up at other neighbors house which is a female and my girlfriend said shed be fine with that which i know is a lie.
 

Gamisch

Don Juan
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You bring up some excellent points. Maybe im being too paranoid and she would think im crazy for leaving but on the other hand my intuition might be right. Ive debated telling the guy to get lost and actually brought it up to her and she told me it would be mean for me telling him that. I was gonna do it but she talked me out of it. The weirdest part is now her parents have went over to his house to help him with a handy project of his house. This guy is getting way too close for comfort. I am a private person and this is why i dont like getting to know neighbors too much. I asked her if it would be cool if i start showing up at other neighbors house which is a female and my girlfriend said shed be fine with that which i know is a lie.
I have to be honoust, i read some of your previous posts and apparently this is been going on for months. At this point I wouldn't even wait for her to drop truth bombs on you. Leave . Now . No need to zoom in on details anymore. No need to analyze the neighbor guy , just leave.

Do you have an exit plan ready???Friends , family anybody you can stay at, if so, leave now.

If its about housing prices: tell her you wanna break up, stay friends and you'll look for a new place. Dont wait until you got your degree and job, takes to long, unless you can make an arrangement with her.

This will allow you to at least date and blow steam of/ empty your nuts. Detach , there is a lot of pain waiting for you if you stay any longer.

I'll repeat leave friendzone her let her do whatever she wants and start preparing your EXIT plan.
 

BuckledWheel

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She’s liking the attention too much. It looks like you’re not her guy. If she’s talking about him to you, you’re already out of the picture. Her actions around him will tell you more, be observant & say very little about him to her. Start working out an exit plan & prepare to move on.
 

orbit123

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I have to be honoust, i read some of your previous posts and apparently this is been going on for months. At this point I wouldn't even wait for her to drop truth bombs on you. Leave . Now . No need to zoom in on details anymore. No need to analyze the neighbor guy , just leave.

Do you have an exit plan ready???Friends , family anybody you can stay at, if so, leave now.

If its about housing prices: tell her you wanna break up, stay friends and you'll look for a new place. Dont wait until you got your degree and job, takes to long, unless you can make an arrangement with her.

This will allow you to at least date and blow steam of/ empty your nuts. Detach , there is a lot of pain waiting for you if you stay any longer.

I'll repeat leave friendzone her let her do whatever she wants and start preparing your EXIT plan.
A few weeks ago we had a talk and she wanted me to help out more around the house and I did but then she still wasnt having sex as much so I straight up asked her if she wanted me to move out and she said no. She said something on the lines of not yet cause she wanted to see if it would work out. Should I still move out if I asked her if I should and she said no?
 

Machine10033

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She said something on the lines of not yet cause she wanted to see if it would work out. Should I still move out if I asked her if I should and she said no?
Leave.... she doesn’t dictate what you do.... pack up.. let her move onto the neighbor and soon she will be giving him the same issues. In my experience females “create” a narrative to justify their garbage behavior.

I’ve made the mistake in the past of hooking up with married chicks... they all would create some issue they were having with their significant other. No one ever said “ hey my husband is a great guy.. I just was the d”.... they also lied about their situation... oh we are separated and seeing other people.... until one day the one ladies husband found out about her whoring... and left the house with a shotgun to kill himself !!!!! Doesn’t sound like a mutual break to me
 

BuckledWheel

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A few weeks ago we had a talk and she wanted me to help out more around the house and I did but then she still wasnt having sex as much so I straight up asked her if she wanted me to move out and she said no. She said something on the lines of not yet cause she wanted to see if it would work out. Should I still move out if I asked her if I should and she said no?
Time to go bro. She weighing up her options with this other guy on the scene. She’s not working it out with you my friend, she’s working it out the options with him on her mind. Stop being her slave. Pack up & leave this woman before she ruins your mind & any self confidence you have left. Go my friend.
 

Gamisch

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A few weeks ago we had a talk and she wanted me to help out more around the house and I did but then she still wasnt having sex as much so I straight up asked her if she wanted me to move out and she said no. She said something on the lines of not yet cause she wanted to see if it would work out. Should I still move out if I asked her if I should and she said no?
Hi bro

Well that's a tough question tbh...nobody here (atleast not me) tries to talk you into a worse position by making emotional decisions via an inter forum.

But reading your story, and seeing it's been going on for some time.I would advice you at least to be ready, to plan an exit strategy.

I personally landed on sosuave because of relationship problems , as I am a hopeless romantic in general, one who believes in the good of people. Yiu can see my account isnt that old . And still, the harsh words from some other djs really helped me to reconsider my previous relationship.

I have a 10yo daughter, and so I am pretty familiar with the whole living together part. I almost wish that your gf is one who is wilken and able to change, and that you can solve it with her.

But as you can see in countless other stories, when your gut feeling is telling you all kinda things you gotta be ready for **** to hit the van sooner or later.

Attraction, unfortunately, is not negotiable ,I've learned that the hard way. Yiu can talk with her , ask for more sekc ect but will it improve ? If it does for how long?

Women plan these exits quite neat. They set everything up so when they gotta move ,they can move. Take that page from the female book, and find a way so you can calmly come up with a exit strategy if necessary. ( and dont mention anything to her or her son about it!!!)

This situation , with the no bed action, the neighbor knocking on the door ect will eat up your energy and focus, which you need to find a job and / or finish your degree and be a father for your kids.


If I were you, I would see her reaction as positive for now, but yet I would contact my social circle and tell non mutual friends about the situation, and see if they can be on stand by.

Maybe other DJS can chime in and say something about this.
 

Gamisch

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A few weeks ago we had a talk and she wanted me to help out more around the house and I did but then she still wasnt having sex as much so I straight up asked her if she wanted me to move out and she said no. She said something on the lines of not yet cause she wanted to see if it would work out. Should I still move out if I asked her if I should and she said no?
I wanna add, perhaps you should just do that, help around the house, be friendly and act like you in good spirit. And like people told you in the previous threadz dont ask for sacks anymore, at least talk and smile to other women to get your game and frame up and shift the focus away from her.

But still be ready to go. Put in the work necessary to leave, if she suddenly becomes a better woman(which I doubt), you can always reconsider and renew the rules and come up with new demands. But that's a very very long shot in the dark...

But dont wait for this ship to sink while you in the middle of the sea, if that makes sense.
 

Young OG

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A few weeks ago we had a talk and she wanted me to help out more around the house and I did but then she still wasnt having sex as much so I straight up asked her if she wanted me to move out and she said no. She said something on the lines of not yet cause she wanted to see if it would work out. Should I still move out if I asked her if I should and she said no?
I remember that thread. You need to move out and move on with your life. She's not giving you sex and now she's interested in the neighbor. Get out before things get worse.
 

Striker_93

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Who gives a fvck, you have no control over another person's actions so why worry about it ?

Just continue as if you wasn't aware of anything,

If she wants to cheat that's gonna happen regardless.

But to answer youre question, I wouldn't give a sh!t
 

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Gamisch

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Things is, he already did...they living together, kids under that roof too.

Can you elaborate on the bold part please? I am interested to hear more.

Don't ever move in. If she say she's waiting to see if it works it isn't
 

Tilex

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A few weeks ago we had a talk and she wanted me to help out more around the house and I did but then she still wasnt having sex as much so I straight up asked her if she wanted me to move out and she said no. She said something on the lines of not yet cause she wanted to see if it would work out. Should I still move out if I asked her if I should and she said no?
You need to be a man and take charge. You're giving her too much power.
Right now she sees you as less than her.
You need to be above her, not less than her.
Don't ask her permission to move out. You could try sh!t testing her by telling her about the situation not working out and you're thinking about leaving. Find out how she reacts.
Also, tell the guy straight up to give you and her some privacy.
You don't need to ask her permission for that either.
 

dark god

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Soooo she's barely giving u sex (previous thread) ur raising her son AND NOW the neighbors sniffin around?..dude cut bait..STAT. This scenario is a travesty. This is like the Hindenburg hitting the titanic type travesty.
 
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