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How to slowly break up a relationship?


Don Juan
Aug 30, 2008
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Tips? I'm already in the middle and I feel I can break this up so I get what I want ;p

She's already spending more time with me


Senior Don Juan
May 18, 2009
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What do you want? If you dont want to see her anymore, be a man and tell her.


Don Juan
Aug 30, 2008
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no u dont get it...im the 3rd person getting involved ;p


Senior Don Juan
Oct 26, 2009
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Play it cool, make a move.

Her having a boyfriend shouldn't change how you act around her in any way.


Master Don Juan
Jul 12, 2008
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Copied from Tyler Durdens Personal files:

Background - a few things to remember:

1) When boyfriend destroying, you walk a tightrope between
evoking too many bad feelings and having them anchoured to you,
and getting the chick to want to dump the guy. Don't forget
that your end goal is sex, not to break her up for some
other dude to enjoy.

2) It is preferable that you don't make it appear that you
want her to dump her boyfriend. Rather, make the idea appear
to be something from within her (more of a Socratic thing,
than a direct thing).

3) While doing this, you must direct the convo. to make her
prompt you to tell her how you would treat a woman. Make her
work it out of you, because she's worked up, and wants to know
if she's got a fair deal or not.

4) You must REFRAME all behaviour to appear like insecure nice
guy behaviour. Even behaviour that players would use on girls
(such as not agreeing to a relationship) is to be REFRAMED as
being nice guy behaviour, as someone who is too afraid to be
decisive and go for what they really want, since they are too
afraid that they will lose it once they've been emotionally
vulnerable (as will be explained below). All behaviour can be

5) By making the guy look like a "NICE GUY", you are making
him the most sexually unappealing guy conceivable. Once
you've done this, there is NOTHING that he can do to get back
into her good books, as you've put him into a predicament
where anything that he does will be interpreted by her as
being insecure.

So, if he's too distant, and he makes up for it by buying her
flowers -> he's insecure. If he's too needy, and he makes up
for it by getting a life -> he's insecure.

You are trying to DIFFUSE his outer glossy shell, and give the
girl a window into his inner workings, so that he no longer
appears "mysterious" in any way. You make her understand him
so well, that she likes him more as a person, but no longer
has any sexual desire for him.

6) Another thing to remember is this: if the relationship was
that good in the first place, she wouldn't be OUT WITH YOU.
This is obvious and needs no comment. All you need to do is
tell her how YOU treat women, making it the way she would like
to be treated (elicit her values). This is to make her realize
you are "her type," subconsciously.

The tactic:

What you're looking to do here is tear the guy down to a NICE
GUY, while making it look like you're actually STICKING UP FOR
HIM! Your goal is to make him one of those guys that a girl
would go out on a date with, like as a person, and feel bad
for saying, "Let's just be friends," at the end of the night
when he tries to kiss her at the door.

So how do you do that? Almost invariably, relationships have
certain problems:

-jealousy related spats (KEY)


-failure to commit or being too distant

-abusive behaviour (be it physical or mental)

-psychological withdrawal, to gain certainty in the
relationship (ie: each party will withdraw to see if
the other will pursue periodically, to assure themselves that
the relationship is solid.. this is dimestore psychology, and
easily observable in any relationship)

-being irresponsible (not holding up share of chores, etc.)

-not being assertive in bed (KEY)

-being into S&M and other stuff in bed, that the girl thinks
is too far out

-getting angry/frustrated when he initiates sex, and girl is
not in the mood (KEY)

-being too predictable, not passionate

OK, there are some basic ones. I will now break these down to
show you how I would roughly respond to any of these
complaints, in a way that I appear to be sticking up for the
boyfriend, but am inadvertantly destroying him.

This is not the sum total of the routine, but simply the raw
fuel that you are employing, while using standard tactics
etc. Remember, that you may not necessarily want to start
escalating your sexual state, until she is convinced that the
guy is lame-ass, otherwise she may potentially realize that you
are trying to pull one over on her.

This is not the rule, but simply something to be considered based
on your evaluation of the circumstance as it unfolds.

"You have to understand that this guy really appreciates you,
because you're probably the best girl that he ever got, or
ever will get. I know that... you care about this guy (maybe
sp)... but there's just a certain equilibrium where if you've
done this guy a favour by being with him and he's not equipped
to handle it, since he knows that he'll never get a girl like
you again if he walks out, that he's just constantly
frustrated and panicked that you'll leave. It's not his

"You've got to understand that for this guy you are his entire
world. He cares about you so much, that everything else in
the world is meaningless to him. You are his only source o
pleasure, and without you he knows that...he's nothing. You
can't blame him, he just doesn't have anything else going for
him, so he needs you."

Failure to commit:
"It's not that this guy doesn't love you. He does. Its just
that deep down he has a fear that... you're too good for
him... and that you'll realize it and be like, you know....you
just have to dump this guy.... and then he'll be left
emotionally destroyed because he made himself vulnerable. Yes
yes I know that you wouldn't do that to him, but its just that
with (x,y,z into consideration - bring up imbalance struck
earlier in the convo) he knows that you could get other guys
(SP)...like me...I just think that he's not an emotionally
secure person, and you've gotta cut him some slack."

Abusive behaviour:
"It's not that this guy doesn't love you. Its that he loves
you too much, and just can't handle it. He's not emotionally
available, and because he knows that you're the best he's ever
had, he can't handle all of these things that he's going
through emotionally. All his life he probably wasn't very
good with women, and women weren't interested in him.. So now
that he's got this girl, he doesn't know how to handle it.

(plus use the he doesn't want to be emotionally vulnerable,
because he's such a loser ass that he can't handle it as per
above etc.)

Periodic Psychological Withdrawal:
"(use combinations from material I've written.. Rather than
downplaying it for the perfectly normal behaviour that it is,
magnify it by making it appear to be a sign of insecurity,
that is typically displayed when nice guys who can't get girls
get stuck into a relationship with a girl that is too good for

Being Irresponsible:
"Its not that this guy doesn't -want- to do these things. Its
just that he's so overwhelmed by all of the things that are going on,
that he just can't keep up these responsibilities.

Yes yes, I know that x,y,z aren't that much, but he's not in
an emotionally healthy place right now, and he just can't
handle it (you mirror this against yourself, the image of a
REAL/STRONG/COMPETENT man, basically trying to make him seem
like a little boy)"

Not being assertive in bed

"It's not that he doesn't want to excite you. It's just that
he's so overwhelmed being with a girl like you, that he's not
equipped to handle your sexual needs. It's like the typical
case of the rich daughter who marries the labourer. At first
the labourer is so exstatic to have this gorgeous girl (point
to her) wanting him..

But in the end, he cheats on her with some white trash mullet
haired girl, because he knows that that's who he really belongs
with, and that's who makes him feel good about himself.

You shouldn't hold his lack of assertiveness in bed against him,
because its just a reflection of his insecurity. With the right
girl, any guy can be a stud in the sack .. its not hard, you just
have to take CONTROL (perhaps show some controlling kino here,
to get her turned on)."

Then transition to some HOT sex talk, where you inadvertantly spill
how much you need to take control in bed.

Guy into weird stuff in bed (S&M etc) when she hates it:
"It's not that this guy doesn't love you.. Its just that he
uses these things to objectify you, because he knows that he's
never had a girl like you, and probably never will once you're
gone.. so he doesn't want to "make love", because he doesn't
want to make himself emotionally vulnerable to you.. but he
still wants sex, so he has to turn it into a perverse game,
to keep his insecurities from overwhelming him"

Guy gets angry when he initiates sex and she's not interested
"The thing is, that this guy loves you, and he's just
exasperated that.... he's completely impotent to turn you on..
he just can't turn you on, and he knows that, so he gets

Its like when you want to have sex...withme.....its like, I know
that its your job to get the girl turned on. Girls need a man who
knows that they want, and how to get it. When a girl says 'no',
but at the same time she loves this guy (sp), it often means please
turn me on more.. please, I want you to be more attentive to me.

(this totally mind****s the girl, as it is an EXTREMELY COMMON part
of the LTR cycle, that once sex becomes stagnant -> foreplay
nearly ceases. Because chemically women are addicted to
OXITOCINS which are released by touch, and it is more
testosterone that they get from sex, most women will hate sex
once it degrades to a lack of foreplay. However, most relationships
have this problem, so you must exploit it.)


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Master Don Juan
Jul 12, 2008
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Being too predictable, not passionate:
"Its not that this guy doesn't love you. He does. It's just
that he's so comfortable with you now.. and feels so close to
you, that you're more like a sister to him..

Like a special sister, but someone who he doesn't feel that he has
to do all these things for anymore, because your relationship is so
secure and so predictable.. there's no need for all that
excitement, because he knows that nothing will change..

Some guys deal with true love that way.. I dunno, for me, I think
that if you really love someone, you have to do x,y,z (established
earlier in convo) to keep it fresh. Like if you are really a real
man who loves his woman, you have to do x,y,z to keep it fresh.

But really, its not that he doesn't love you, its just that he loves
you so much that he doesn't see the need."

***So, remember that you are focusing on destroying the guy's
sexual appeal, by making him seem too familiar, and easy to
understand. People generally get 'one-itis' for those who are
challenging and hard to understand. By making the guy seem
both easy to understand, and very insecure/nice/beta in the
meantime, the relationship will likely not last the week.

Just remember not to be the "orbiter" who counsels her on her
problems. Instead, you are constantly getting her worked up
by eliciting her values and feeding them back to her.

Ideally, she must be getting both turned off the guy by what
you're doing, and getting turned on by YOU, and the
-IDEAL- FOR WHAT SHE WANTS. The natural flow of conversation
must indirectly lead to exposing your highly desirable

She is getting turned on by the DIRECT CONTRAST between you
and her boyfriend. You do not offer your qualities directly,
but highlight them by pointing out that you understand where
her boyfriend's negative qualities are insecure (that you are
the opposite should be implicit, in that you're recognizing
the problems).

Getting her to beg you to tell her how you treat women is all
the better, and if it is going well can likely be expected.
Act reluctant to tell her if necessary, though not to the
extent that you are sending a signal that her getting with you
is not a program that you're down with.

Once you have her worked up, use standard material to move
in, and its a done deal.

thats it.


Don Juan
Dec 14, 2008
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Wow 'tyler durden' sounds like a faggot and so do you guys for wanting to do this.



Master Don Juan
Jul 12, 2008
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DJCorleone said:
Wow 'tyler durden' sounds like a faggot and so do you guys for wanting to do this.


Hey, Im just relaying information. Its not my place to judge, and I dont agree with stealing girlfriends, myself, under normal circumstances. There are some guys out there that deserve to have their GF's stolen.

Think about it, why would a taken girl be hanging out with another guy anyways? She's a hor anyway and will eventually do it with someone else.

Besides, there is a disclaimer "this stuff is deadly effective, and as such should be used with extreme caution. Remember the laws of karma. Don't
use it unless you MUST."

Its up to the OP to decide if its right or wrong for him.

And Tyler Durden is not a faggot. He is just explaining how to do it. Thats his job, not to dictate morality to his students. Thats up to them.

Also, people who have options and abundance bang taken girls all the time. Thats how they get options in the first place. It comes with the territory of PUA's. I dont like it either, but its part of the game.


Don Juan
Nov 8, 2009
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Don't mess with another dudes GF, hope the dude ****s you up! Uncool.


Senior Don Juan
Dec 10, 2001
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Scheming to sabotage a relationship just seems petty to me...