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How to respond to the "how many girls have you slept with?" question.

Mr Wright

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With my ex, I was young and naive and I told her the truth. I was 19 then and even at that point she thought the number was way too high and it actually made her feel quiet insecure.

Now there's another girl who I care about asking me and I'm not sure how to answer it because she knows I have a bit of a reputation so I can't outright lie to her. I've tried telling her curiosity kills the cat but now she's throwing out absurd guesses, which I have to keep denying. I'm 21 but my numbers fairly high compared to the rest of my friends, not quite sure how to play this one.

Why do you think girls even ask this question? I don't think I've ever asked a girl I'm seeing how many guys shes slept with because it's none of my business.

...and out of interest, when it comes to seeing a woman is there a number that is just too high for you to deal with?
 

AttackFormation

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
With a woman, if she tells you she's slept with over 3-5 men then forget her for LTR.
So basically, forget women for LTRs :p
 

El Payaso

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I say "Only the ones that matter". If she keeps prodding, I keep evading. Yes, she will get mad but she will get over it as long as you don't buckle.
 

Trump

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Mr Wright said:
With my ex, I was young and naive and I told her the truth. I was 19 then and even at that point she thought the number was way too high and it actually made her feel quiet insecure.

Now there's another girl who I care about asking me and I'm not sure how to answer it because she knows I have a bit of a reputation so I can't outright lie to her. I've tried telling her curiosity kills the cat but now she's throwing out absurd guesses, which I have to keep denying. I'm 21 but my numbers fairly high compared to the rest of my friends, not quite sure how to play this one.

Why do you think girls even ask this question? I don't think I've ever asked a girl I'm seeing how many guys shes slept with because it's none of my business.

...and out of interest, when it comes to seeing a woman is there a number that is just too high for you to deal with?
Bro how have you slept with tons of hot women at 21 and tell us it's all about confidence and leadership and style to get laid, and then get side tracked by one question by a 19 year old?

The girl wants to have sex with you. She doesn't really care about your number, she just wants to use it against you in the future. Just sleep with her and move on. If she's not going to sleep with you because of your number then she's playing a game.
 

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Mr.Positive

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El Payaso said:
I say "Only the ones that matter". If she keeps prodding, I keep evading. Yes, she will get mad but she will get over it as long as you don't buckle.
I like this answer, and will do this next time.

I got slammed with this question from a gal I'm seeing. She's brutally honest and holds nothing back, so I should have saw this coming.

I told her I never really counted, then I asked her how many partners she has had. Big mistake, don't ask that question. Her answer was "many...both men and women."

Second mistake, I then gave her a ball park number of how many women, a normal amount for a guy my age. Her answer, she laughed and said "we've slept with the same amount of women."

I changed the subject after that. That conversation did not go as well as I would have like.
 

SgtSplacker

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There are questions you just don't answer and this is one of them.

Go too low and she thinks you a chump...
Go too high and you are a player man*****...

There is no right answer... so don't play ball...

When a girl likes you and is about to start really liking you. The hypergamy hamster wheel starts spinning like a dusty processor fan you are cleaning out with canned air. They want to know everything about you so they can make the best decision possible. How many friends do you have? How many girls? How are you around other people?

Girl i'm seeing now straight up told me the other day she wants to see how I am around other people. This is how woman work...

Men want women for their bodies.

Women want men because of their value.

When I first start dating a girl i'm very careful what I allow her to see and learn about me. If I take her around my friends I make sure I bring her around my better friends that do not like to make fun of or rank on each other. I keep all my interactions positive and never discuss any problems with her. If she asks how many girls I slept with i'll just say something like I lost track maybe 5-10 a year? I don't really keep track and leave it at that. They may not like a high answer at first but it keeps them in check. Maybe i'll say something like I never really have a problem meeting women. Always general answers that put you at high value.
 

Mr Wright

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Trump said:
Bro how have you slept with tons of hot women at 21 and tell us it's all about confidence and leadership and style to get laid, and then get side tracked by one question by a 19 year old?
It's something I've only really come across once before with a girl when I was 19, not she was 19, she's actually older than me. At that time I screwed it up. If it was some chick I didn't care about I would have told her some lie ages ago, probably would have said 8 and been done with it. But with this chick it's coming up again and again, I've tried ignoring it, playing it off and all that. Can I not come on here asking for advice lol? Besides, I've come a long way but I'm 21, I should be asking advice from the older guys who have 20 odd years experience on me. I don't know it all, I know what I know and that's it. I actually hope I don't portray myself as someone who thinks they've reached the end because I have a long way to go.

SgtSplacker said:
There are questions you just don't answer and this is one of them.

Go too low and she thinks you a chump...
Go too high and you are a player man*****...

There is no right answer... so don't play ball...
So it's back to ignoring and just smiling away her questions then as I was doing before. I was curious to see if anyone cracked this one but like most questions, I think it shows the cracks in her view of the power dynamic of the relationship. She needs to know this to sort of gauge where I am with women and work out what she can get away with. That's what I'm reading from it anyway.
 

SgtSplacker

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Mr Wright said:
It's something I've only really come across once before with a girl when I was 19, not she was 19, she's actually older than me. At that time I screwed it up. If it was some chick I didn't care about I would have told her some lie ages ago, probably would have said 8 and been done with it. But with this chick it's coming up again and again, I've tried ignoring it, playing it off and all that. Can I not come on here asking for advice lol? Besides, I've come a long way but I'm 21, I should be asking advice from the older guys who have 20 odd years experience on me. I don't know it all, I know what I know and that's it. I actually hope I don't portray myself as someone who thinks they've reached the end because I have a long way to go.



So it's back to ignoring and just smiling away her questions then as I was doing before. I was curious to see if anyone cracked this one but like most questions, I think it shows the cracks in her view of the power dynamic of the relationship. She needs to know this to sort of gauge where I am with women and work out what she can get away with. That's what I'm reading from it anyway.
It's not about what she can get away with, it's not a shiit test. She is trying to read your label before taking a bite of your delicious relationship goodness to see if you are good for her or not. It's as easy as that.

She asks, you hint about your successes with women that's what she wants to really know not your actual literal lay count. If you just spit out a number she will most likely react poorly. But start talking about how it's not about a number, it's about your path through life and how these things made you the man you are today. Mix that in with some humor, maybe say something like the most you did in a month was 6 girls, two at the same time. She will get the picture that you are a little stud. Release a lay count and it just makes you seem scummy, like you are adding notches to some imaginary belt.
 

TheMonkeyKing

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"how many girls have you slept with?"

The lamest and most transparent of sh!t tests.

We can infer two things from this questions:

1. She is going to judge you on the figure provided (whether too high, OR too low).

2. She is insecure about the figure you provide (whether too high, OR too low).

In short she's looking for small grains of feed to get her illogical hamster running on that wheel once again; and for the very reason so she can decide that she is NOT going to sleep with you as well. Would a girl who was definitely going to sleep with you ask this benign question? No.

My straight answer would either be the cold hard truth or,:

'Enough', or 'More than some, not as many as others', or

'Too many to remember', or

'It'll never be enough', or 'None'.


Anything you go for resembling a straight answer is not going to be acceptable to her bored hamster. So we either make light of a frankly worthless topic of conversation, or go for broke.

It reeks of insecurity and immaturity when someone asks this.
 

dasein

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"200, but they were all sluts" is one possibility.

"Not that many, as far as you know."

"Does that include family? only live ones? have to be human?"

"Ive slept with the same woman about 2000 times."

"Do wet dreams count?"

"I don't remember some of my 20s, all the years that ended in odd numbers and three of the even number years."

Agree with others, don't answer this straight up. Most women who ask it are angling to put you down in some way or build ammo for later quarrels, rationalize her bad behavior. Just avoid it. Don't EVER be the one to ask her this either. This day and age, you are much better off just not knowing. And if this is coming up before you have been exclusive with an incredible girl who is 1:10 in looks, behavior, intelligence, etc. for a long time, you are doing something very wrong (not saying OP or anyone else in particular is doing anything wrong, just saying).
 

VladPatton

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Fück that, you don't answer that question. Say "I lost count at around 1,000 or so!"

And if she combats you and declares a high number, then say "Awesome! You know what you're doing, so you better teach me some new shıt!"
 

Zarky

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LOL women over the age of 30 don't ask that question because they don't want it asked of THEM. ;)

However, assuming this isn't some veiled humblebrag thread, I've always simply refused to answer the question.

I say, "That's just not something I share... with anybody. And frankly, I don't want to know how many people you've slept with either. That's private."
 

dasein

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Zarky said:
LOL women over the age of 30 don't ask that question because they don't want it asked of THEM. ;)
Not IME, I've never asked that question, but have been asked it by every single woman I've slept with, and a large majority of women I've just dated before sleeping with.
 

AttackFormation

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My question is why do today's women who claim to not want to be judged for sleeping around and say that the genders are "equal" go on to sh!t test/judge you sleeping around anyway? it doesn't make sense to me except in the usual twisted logic of the female mind (that they will claim to be an exception to). How can you be 30+ and have any respect left for these women?
 

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goldengoose

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Mr Wright said:
Why do you think girls even ask this question? I don't think I've ever asked a girl I'm seeing how many guys shes slept with because it's none of my business.
Women are nosey and want to judge you on different things. They want to see what type of experience you have and if you will answer every b.s. question they give you. If you tell the truth and give them a number they will judge you either being too high or too low and will treat you accordingly to how they feel about it. It's none of their business how many women you banged. They always want something to use against you in case it doesn't work out. If you get that question just tell her "only the girls that matter" and go on to something else. Always make her wonder and keep her thinking about that.


Mr Wright said:
...and out of interest, when it comes to seeing a woman is there a number that is just too high for you to deal with?
It doesn't really matter because women aren't going to tell you the truth about that anyway. They don't want you judging them if they are too high.
 

YAboi

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Zarky said:
LOL women over the age of 30 don't ask that question because they don't want it asked of THEM. ;)

However, assuming this isn't some veiled humblebrag thread, I've always simply refused to answer the question.

I say, "That's just not something I share... with anybody. And frankly, I don't want to know how many people you've slept with either. That's private."
best answer on this thread
 

asa_don

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Zarky said:
LOL women over the age of 30 don't ask that question because they don't want it asked of THEM. ;)

However, assuming this isn't some veiled humblebrag thread, I've always simply refused to answer the question.

I say, "That's just not something I share... with anybody. And frankly, I don't want to know how many people you've slept with either. That's private."

what kind of a response is that? sounds like what a woman would say if a guy asked her that question. women of any age will ask that question, where have you been?


YAboi said:
best answer on this thread
best answer? lol. keep listening to wilmington son.
 

Technics

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One that I have used that I read somewhere was something like:

''I was going to give you a shirt for being #500 but you're only #499''

She laughed and playfully hit me and the subject has not come up again.


Another good one I've heard but haven't used is:

''At the same time?''
 
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