HELP- left my girl and she blocked me

Newman996

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So I’ve been reading on this forum for a while and took some advice in for my problems...
Story time...
I was with a girl for 8/9 months and the first 6 months were perfect. I wasn’t too available and I was on my purpose and she fell in love. I was very discreet about my feelings but still was doing things right. Until she started causing problems (after I took her on holiday) which in the beginning I responded well too. It finally got to a point where she said she wanted to end things because I wasn’t there when she needed my help emotionally and I simply said “cool take care”. She then blew up my phone for 3 days and I took her back, however, in the meantime I realised there may have been an ex in the picture. So I then broke up with her and she went crazy and told me there was nothing to it. Like an idiot, I took her back and the next few weeks she had gained power in the relationship (disrespect and demands etc.) so I realised that it was a good time to end things and so I did. She then again kept hitting me up but I laid it straight and said I wasn’t going to look back. She then wanted to be friends so I said nothing and went along with it. All the meanwhile, I wanted her but stayed strong to my values. During this time she said she wanted to meet for a coffee and then flaked. So I realised she was up to something. I then thought I would ignore her. On a very special day she contacted me to wish me a good day and posted stuff about us on social media but I ignored her completely after watching her story on insta. So she’s now blocked me off everything and I feel like ****. The thing is although I had feelings for her I was passive in expressing them and instead listened to my brain and principles. I’m not sure what to do here. I had moments of weakness and I feel as if I did a few things wrong ( didn’t communicate effectively and was passive at times). The problem is I still have feelings for her and I keep beating myself up for ignoring her on such a small thing. Moreover, Im more distraught about where I went wrong. Will she ever come back? I also realised she followed her ex back on insta after this.

Any help? What do you guys think?

Thanks in advance
 

soulforge

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Best advice I can give you is Move On.

When it gets to the disrespecting you stage, its pretty much game over.

She will make your life a fukin misery.
 

Newman996

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I’ll be honest I’ve never been attached but I fell for her even though she didn’t know it and this moving on process is hard man. I havent really hit her up and I’m not planning to. But it’s ****ing difficult as I thought she was the one. Any advice on how to go about this?
 

oldmanofthesea

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Whatever you did or didn't do, it might or might not matter. It's entirely possible you did everything right and the two of you simply weren't compatible. But at this point, it's in the past and she has proven in several ways that she isn't going to work. Her flaking on the coffee meeting is one indicator. Her hoarding power and acting out at you after you took her back is another. Her blocking you is another.

At this point, things are over, and you both are probably in the same situation: Neither of you truly wants the other one, but you also don't want to be the one who is rejected. First you made her feel rejected, and now she's made you feel rejected by blocking you. It's a simple power struggle. Nothing more.

Best thing you can do is remember that you chose to end it with her, you chose it for good reason, remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder and create a fictitious idealized version of her in your mind, and anything in the past that you analyze should be used for future relationships, not going back to try to repair past ones.
 

Julian

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U have plenty of time to analyze this bs over the next few weeks and u can use it as lessons of learning. This is too much drama and shes already been fukkin an sukkin someone else
 

stovepipe

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As much as I don't want to bring up Cluster B there is enough signs in your post that I wouldn't be surprised if she is
Your post sounds like you were riding an emotional roll coaster. Stop beating yourself up! No matter what you could or couldn't have done differently wouldn't have changed the outcome of the relationship.

Do you really want all that headache back in your life? The way she plays hot & cold with you tricks your mind into falling in her toxic vortex. Then punishes you by blocking. She is creating a trauma bond by doing those manipulative behaviors. You broke up with her for a reason then went back. Just read your own post again and see the confusion, shame and regret you have. It's all mind games that aren't worth playing nor is it healthy.

As others have mentioned just stay away from her good. If she reaches out ignore her, stay no contact! As someone who learned the hard way this quote stands true- "For a dog that returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly".
 

soulforge

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As much as I don't want to bring up Cluster B there is enough signs in your post that I wouldn't be surprised if she is
Your post sounds like you were riding an emotional roll coaster. Stop beating yourself up! No matter what you could or couldn't have done differently wouldn't have changed the outcome of the relationship.

Do you really want all that headache back in your life? The way she plays hot & cold with you tricks your mind into falling in her toxic vortex. Then punishes you by blocking. She is creating a trauma bond by doing those manipulative behaviors. You broke up with her for a reason then went back. Just read your own post again and see the confusion, shame and regret you have. It's all mind games that aren't worth playing nor is it healthy.

As others have mentioned just stay away from her good. If she reaches out ignore her, stay no contact! As someone who learned the hard way this quote stands true- "For a dog that returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly".
Relationships like these, can destroy a mans soul.. Damaged for good.
 

Dash Riprock

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So I’ve been reading on this forum for a while and took some advice in for my problems...
Story time...
I was with a girl for 8/9 months and the first 6 months were perfect. I wasn’t too available and I was on my purpose and she fell in love. I was very discreet about my feelings but still was doing things right. Until she started causing problems (after I took her on holiday) which in the beginning I responded well too. It finally got to a point where she said she wanted to end things because I wasn’t there when she needed my help emotionally and I simply said “cool take care”. She then blew up my phone for 3 days and I took her back, however, in the meantime I realised there may have been an ex in the picture. So I then broke up with her and she went crazy and told me there was nothing to it. Like an idiot, I took her back and the next few weeks she had gained power in the relationship (disrespect and demands etc.) so I realised that it was a good time to end things and so I did. She then again kept hitting me up but I laid it straight and said I wasn’t going to look back. She then wanted to be friends so I said nothing and went along with it. All the meanwhile, I wanted her but stayed strong to my values. During this time she said she wanted to meet for a coffee and then flaked. So I realised she was up to something. I then thought I would ignore her. On a very special day she contacted me to wish me a good day and posted stuff about us on social media but I ignored her completely after watching her story on insta. So she’s now blocked me off everything and I feel like ****. The thing is although I had feelings for her I was passive in expressing them and instead listened to my brain and principles. I’m not sure what to do here. I had moments of weakness and I feel as if I did a few things wrong ( didn’t communicate effectively and was passive at times). The problem is I still have feelings for her and I keep beating myself up for ignoring her on such a small thing. Moreover, Im more distraught about where I went wrong. Will she ever come back? I also realised she followed her ex back on insta after this.

Any help? What do you guys think?

Thanks in advance
Op, you handled this a lot better than I would have/did when I was 22. I took so many girls back after dumping them for serious offenses after they pleaded, I got horny, etc. Of course, none of the relationships ever improved. People don't change. Things would be ok for a couple weeks then the same crap would resurface.

This is a really good quote from @oldmanofthesea:

Best thing you can do is remember that you chose to end it with her, you chose it for good reason, remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder and create a fictitious idealized version of her in your mind, and anything in the past that you analyze should be used for future relationships, not going back to try to repair past ones.

Can't tell you how many times even in adulthood into my 30's I broke up with girls or they dumped me and I started to idealize them. Another huge mistake. But, it's human nature.

Getting with an ex when you're in an exclusive relationship, being disrespectful to you, and flaking on dates are not minor offenses. Don't beat yourself up for "not communicating." Learn and move on.

It's 100x easier to start a new relationship with someone else--and your new-found DJ knowledge--than it is to try and put the toothpaste back in the tube by patching things up with an ex. Hardly ever works. I think all mature posters on this site would say their #1 mistake in dating was staying in a bad relationship and/or always trying to patch things up when serious problems and abject incompatibility arose--myself included.

With more dating experience you'll learn which women to really "try" with and which ones are a waste of time and only c*um receptacles for you.

Good luck.
 

Epic Days

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Ok. This is an easy one. The truth be told, when you stuck to your "guns" it was because you can keep her on a tether or somehow she would come to her senses and the struggle would be over.

This is passive within it's core. Had you truly and honestly, to yourself, realized that the situation was untenable when it developed and that the only one to suffer was going to be you, you would have closed the door on her and maybe used her for detached sex there after. IF you are capable of that.

See this is a Feminine Imperative issue. "women have more value than men" you were willing to sacrifice, if necessary, yourself on a sword. Not openly but inside because you wanted her. Her value was completely inflated by you.

She had an ex and was smoking cvck that wasn't yours. When you let it go...you validated her self assessment of herself, to you. She had you over the barrel like a good slave. With just words she could sway your reality to go ahead and accept her back. She will NEVER respect you. You were a potential cuckasaurous.

The cause of this is in how you think. Some will say, you don't respect yourself or you were beta and she picked up on this. Etc. Etc.
These are not the cause. They are symptoms and are possibly not even true. Only you can answer that question. The cause is pretty simple..The Feminine Imperative and it's social structure, from birth on, convinced you that woman have an obscene value when in fact their value is rather small in most cases and zero in others.
Then you have other cuckasaurous's evaluating all kinds of other stuff for you and driving you even further from the obvious truth. You were averagely manipulated by an average run-of-the-mill silly girl with a booty and boobs. She wanted a boyfriend, fvck buddies, status and everything else that goes with it for zero return to you except heart ache.
 
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17 shots

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If you really want to mess with her again, you still can. I've had plenty of women block me, and I still slept with them again. A woman blocking you in this kind of situation just shows she is upset, and still cares about you

She's blocking you because she knows she can't keep herself from talking to you on her own.

Now whether or not you should actually get in touch with her again, that's your own decision to make
 

backseatjuan

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You keep taking her back, so now you left and she blocked you, knowing that you would chase and crawl back to her like a kiddo needing a mommy. You gotta punish her after she leaves and wants back, and you gotta down grade her if you take her back, if she was gf, then she becomes a plate.

Nothing you can do. Get over it, you dodged a bullet. Consider it a done deal, throw a little party for yourself at a local bar, find another woman.
 

Newman996

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Guys I have an update. She called me saying she hates me and all sorts and I said fine no worries I’m over you but I mentioned that I still had feelings for her but she wasn’t the one for me. She then blew up my phone and asked me if I was seeing other girls and I told her I’m having fun and dating girls. She wanted to meet so I agreed. In all fairness I just want to **** her and nothing else. I told her I’ve moved on but I’ll see her. She says she wants me to be serious with her (which I’m not intending at all).im guessing it’s a pump and dump. In all fairness, I am certain if I go back she’s going to use that to dump me so I’m aware of this game. How exactly do I go about this? Shall I be honest with her or shall I **** with her emotions.
 

soulforge

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Guys I have an update. She called me saying she hates me and all sorts and I said fine no worries I’m over you but I mentioned that I still had feelings for her but she wasn’t the one for me. She then blew up my phone and asked me if I was seeing other girls and I told her I’m having fun and dating girls. She wanted to meet so I agreed. In all fairness I just want to **** her and nothing else. I told her I’ve moved on but I’ll see her. She says she wants me to be serious with her (which I’m not intending at all).im guessing it’s a pump and dump. In all fairness, I am certain if I go back she’s going to use that to dump me so I’m aware of this game. How exactly do I go about this? Shall I be honest with her or shall I **** with her emotions.

The bit where you said, you just want to f#ck her? That's a lie.

You need to keep her in your life.. Your EXCUSE to keep her in your life, is KIDDING yourself into believing that she is only NOW pump and dump or your plate.

These types of toxic relationships never end well... WORSE is yet to come.

I would strongly advise you to walk away for good.

I got dumped by a woman only 4 months back who I was in love with, and I considered to be the one for the rest of my life.

4 months on, I don't even remember her face, and barley give her a second thought.

Yup it's going to be hard, but it always gets better aslong as you do POSITIVE things to get over her.

You will get support off us guys on SS too.
 

Mazer

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Guys I have an update. She called me saying she hates me and all sorts and I said fine no worries I’m over you but I mentioned that I still had feelings for her but she wasn’t the one for me. She then blew up my phone and asked me if I was seeing other girls and I told her I’m having fun and dating girls. She wanted to meet so I agreed. In all fairness I just want to **** her and nothing else. I told her I’ve moved on but I’ll see her. She says she wants me to be serious with her (which I’m not intending at all).im guessing it’s a pump and dump. In all fairness, I am certain if I go back she’s going to use that to dump me so I’m aware of this game. How exactly do I go about this? Shall I be honest with her or shall I **** with her emotions.
Based on your interaction with her it sounds like you both need to grow up. Never tell a woman you are over her, show her through your actions. I would find other girls, this one is going to suck the life out of you. You are too emotionally attached to her, pump and dump won’t work for you. Good luck
 

rando5495

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I've gone back for women, but they didn't come back, I went back. And honestly, I did it on the rebound and things like that.

I think if you wait for women to come back, you will wait a million years. Even with one that is well open for it.

So if it was a yes, it would be one where you'd be doing all the work. You'd have to answer your own question, if you see what I mean.

*Not saying you should go back, explaining the dynamics of doing so.
 

kbbroiler1971

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Sounds like you started right but you kept going back and forth and then got oneitis over her. You shouldn't be trying to make sense of what she says. Not sure if you saw this Chris Rock stand up. Chris said we are men we are wired to try to make sense. Women are not wired that way and then you talk about the cognitive dissonance battles they have in their brain. Back and forth. Push and pull. etc. Don't try and make sense of it because women are a different breed. My advice focus on you. Not on them.
 

Newman996

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Okay guys. I should have listened. For the past few days she’s been blowing up my phone and trying me and I’ve been disinterested. I told her we’re banging only. But I by accidentally accepted her follow request on Instagram. Which is prob gna give her validation. Can’t just dump her now as it would be weird. How the **** do I keep her as a plate now? Someone help as I think I’ve validated her by doing this. I know inside I should just end it as I’m emotionally too invested and this can get dangerous very quickly. Any one who’s done this before - can I get some advice on what to do now?
 

oldmanofthesea

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You need to really sit with your feelings and feel them, and be honest with yourself. When you do that, I believe it will be obvious that you don't just want her as a plate. You want her as something more. Lying to yourself about this will cause you a lot more pain and grief. You have to move on. Put that pain and heartache into getting out there and meeting new women.
 

Newman996

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Update: Slept with her today and she tried everything to convince me to get back but I denied. I guess my actions have shown I still want her and she’s picked up on it. From now on I will simply be going No contact. Thanks for everything guys as you kept me strong through it. I hope this decision is the correct one as I must follow my gut.

Thanks
 
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