My buddy who's a psychiatrist says stay away. As most guys that have experienced this will tell you, they never really get over it. Ultimately she will displace her feelings of her father onto you and that is a terrible spot to be in.
If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.
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And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.
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Autotoss? I like that. Think I'll add it to my vocab dictionary.backbreaker said:i just refuse to autotoss a girl over some **** she had no control over. you are equating having a dad that drinks too much and gets abusive, with, having 3 kids before you are 25 lol. it's not one in the same. one the woman did, the other she had no control over.
no necessarily saying save her, but, the single mom shows stupidity and ignorance. the second, i just need to see if she has readjusted to life. some do some don't.
To you psych majors, you can’t trust any woman until after six months -- and only then if there are no red flags. A woman has to earn your trust. You can’t toss trust out like a used tissue. A woman who says she loves you after four dates has a screw loose.
The problem is not the father abusing her, it is her actions. Some people may overcome abuse, others won´t. You never know!!Warrior74 said:No. In fact, a chic who tells you about it is a big red flag.
I dated a chic who told me she was abused after about a month of dating. She was great in the sack, open to doing any and everything. But the paranoia, the baseless accusations and crazy mood swings wasn't worth it. She would try to play the victim role all the time to control me. That's why its a red flag. I don't know if she was really abused or not, but I do know it was a club and by telling me about it, she told me she was going to use that club. And when I refuse to sit there and get clubbed and dropped her, she accused me of being abusive and saying that I abandon people and I'm heartless. After a month she tried to come back, but I just didn't want to be bothered as I had moved on.
Oh, how he wanted success with women! Why did others do so well and he so poorly? All jocks did was breathe and grunt to get chicks, and he did everything possible with no success. Alas, the pangs of desprised love! She was beautiful, wonderful, but only wanted him as a friend. In fact, every girl he held desirous thoughts about thought of him as only a friend or less.
It was time for change! Information was the key, he knew. He devoured books, articles, anything at all about the nature of women and creating romantic success.
Then he met a Spanish guy named Manual.
Manual said, “Behold, for here is your battleplan:
Psychological Maneuvers! You shall learn Neuro-linguistic programming! Now speak like this: “When you HAVE THAT CONNECTION with someone, that WARM, SAFE, and COMFORTABLE feeling RIGHT THERE, then what sometimes can happen is…” With Manual, women became a sum of psychological instruments to be played to his tune.
“Guides! You shall learn and memorize the booklets of Societal Situations with Women.” Now he knew to do this when she did that, to do that when she did this, on and so on. Following Manual’s guides, he met a consistent success.
“Ceaseless Information! You shall never have too much information,” commanded Manual. Thus, countless articles, countless posts streamed underneath the young man’s eyes. At the end of the day he was still in front of the computer.
“I love you, Manual!” the young man cried. Any problems, any situations, Manual would always have an answer. He would consult with Manual day and night, memorize Manual’s teachings, and worship Manual.
But, oh oh. Something was not going right. He had burned the mantra in his mind, “Thou shall never stay on the phone longer than twenty minutes,” only to break it… with a startling success! Also ingrained was the mantra, “Thou shall never compromise,” and lo and behold! When he broke this rule, he usually crashed and burned. But this time he achieved high flying success. Soon, the rules that had so framed his courtly actions disintegrated.
“Ahh,” he realized. “These guides and rules were a clutch for my lack of confidence. They do, however, work but are overall limited.” Then he smiled. “The rules and guides are the training wheels, the helper out of the nest.”
No more shall he be completely dictated by that Spanish guy named Manual! He could now fly and soar on his own. So…
Be not contained by formula.
“If the rules and guides were successful, why would he abandon them?”
“Because he realized he was successful not by the rules and guides, but by the approaching and fun mindset the rules and guides demanded.”
The young man, as ever, was confused. So Pook, with his seemingly endless magic abilities, summoned up two men.
“One of these,” said Pook, “is an actor.” And the three watched the actor become Hercules, Henry V, Hamlet, and every hero with a capital H. But in person, this actor transformed into a wimp.
“What happened to the hero!?” wondered the young man.
Then they saw the other man in action.
“He is heroic!” marveled the young man.
“Indeed,” said the Pook. “One is naturally confident, the other is scripted.”
“But what is wrong with the scripted?”
“Nothing! But it is critical to realize the purpose of scripts and guides.”
“Which is what?”
Pook then took the young man to a place that overlooked two crowds of men. One group kept rushing back and forth to the man on the center pedestal, the Spanish guy named Manual. The other group consulted Manual only here and there, but traveled off in blazing new and fresh paths.
“What is the point?”
“It is simple,” Pook declared. “The point of Manual is not to grant you success. If you do, you will forever be under his dictatorship. The entire reason why Manual exists is to not grant you success but illustrate the means of success.”
“Meaning that a few people became successful and formed Manual out from the clay of their knowledge. Manual is their automaton, their robot, to consistently answer newbies’ questions. The end goal in seduction, in success, is to make it natural. When it becomes natural, you have no need for Manual and can handle anything women throw at you.”
“Argh!” the young man pulled his hair. “I used to think women were nice and charming, that only bad boys were the problem! This knowledge is shattering every ideal I held about women.”
Pook nodded. “These are but a few of the Harsh Truths:
Women would rather share a successful man than be attached to a faithful loser.
Many women do not marry for love.
Most divorces end up with the guy cherishing the woman but the woman detesting the man.
Even for long-term marriage, the Don Juan is the way to go.
The ‘innocent, nice girl’ is often the horniest and likely uninnocent.
Many women consider your looks, your career, what you can offer them, before your integrity and character.
Women are more sexual than men can even dream.
Women are not attracted to genius, only strength and imagination
Woman’s sole mission is union, either for pleasure or the fruits of children. She cares nothing for your philosophy and all except to either use it to catch interest in a guy or to enthrone herself.
Women, in sex, desire to be treated as an object and relish it.
Women place value in societal links; how they are thought of. You become her ego.
The information in each issue of The SoSuave Newsletter is too powerful for most guys to handle. If you are an ordinary guy, it is not for you. It is meant for the elite few. Not the unwashed masses.
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backbreaker said:There are alot of posts here, about talking about how girls who are way too unrelaistic with their wants.. you see the same here. Some of you just aren't being reliastic. girl has to have two parents, they have to be perfect parents, have to have a woman who had sex more than 2 times but less than 5 times in her life lol before meeting you, she can't stay on facebook all day long, she can't have too many guy friends, can't have a child, can't be divorced, come on man lol
Well it is but often you dont find out about this till MUCH later. The others were more up-front obvious stuff.powpow said:Im suprised that abuseful childhood did not make it into your list of no-brainers...
This is true ^st_99 said:BUT, I truly believe that there is a subset of women that are IMPOSSIBLE to have any meaningful relationship with regardless of who you are, your game, your looks, or your money.
These are the ones you need to recognize and yes it usually starts with the f*cked up daddy situation.
Put away your credit card.
You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!
Chicks coming from a background of abuse is generally a red flag and should be kept at arms length. That's just my experience in dealing with them. Unless you want to be on an emotional rollercoaster with this type of person, it would be best to avoid her. Sooner or later, all that baggage is gonna come out and you'll be the unfortunate target of it all.piday314 said:I've recently been talking to a lady who grew up with an abusive father until her mid-teens. I have read numerous horror stories on this forum about BPD women coming from these kinds of backgrounds. Would you ever give a girl like this a chance with your heart?
I'mma be honest man. 90% of what you posted in this thread had nothing to do with answering the OPs question. If a girl is confessing abuse issues, keep an eye out and see how that develops, it could be bad news. That's really the point here. Your friend, was just that, a friend. YOu have no idea what she has said in the past to some guy she was dating. And if, when she was in her 20s she confessed that to some guy after only knowing him a week or two he would be smart to keep an eye out on her for it. You are getting the tail end of the picture and from the friendzone at that. We are not talking about that perspective. (oh and you believe her, hell she told you didn't she?)backbreaker said:There was a woman I grew to be pretty good frends with. not that type of friends, really good friends, in AA... her mom basically made her trick for drugs when she was a kid. She didn't have a ****ing choice in the matter if she wanted to live there, mom was that strung out. She abused drugs for a while, but not as long as you would think, she she got grown, young 20's she got clean and has been clean ever since, and she's lke 46 now, she's got 23 or 24 years in AA, and she says I refused to use that as a reason to ruin my life.
That's the thing about it. Big events, rather they be abuse, whatever.. they spereate people who want , from people who choice if that makes sense. That woman chose to make something of her life.
The question I ask, alot of these woman, how would they be if they did not have daddy issues?
Hell I'm talkng in 3rd person, crap I abused drugs, and I used alot of crutches for a while. And yes I had some things that happened, but the day I got clean was the day I decided that I was going to stop waiting for things to happen to me and I was gong to go start happening to things. Alot of people don't have that mentality and the first sign of somethng traumatic, they crumble.
We have a very weak minded society as a whole IMHO.