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Hand Job MILF Ghosted - Victory?

Reyaj

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I couldn't really think of what I wanted the appropriate title of this thread to be... I just know I need to write this out for myself as it's been randomly bugging me.

A few years ago I met this MILF off POF. She was like 38 at the time with two kids and divorced. Her ex husband cheated on her with someone he worked closely with. They tried counselling etc.. but ended up splitting where she has the house and I think he gets the kids every other weekend and maybe one day during the week? Another important thing to note is that her ex husband has a powerful societal position, I'll leave it at just that.

So anyway we met for drinks a few years ago and she was into me. Smiled big when she saw me, sat close, had multiple drinks etc... These are all signs I've found are IOIs in my dating experience. I had another date that same night with a girl I already hooked up with and liked more so I kind of ended this one short. I walked her to her car, it was raining but she let me kiss her, albeit a very short one which I stopped because it was raining.

-An important note to mention is I don't live near her but she was under the impression I was moving to her area.

Anyway she ends up texting me the same night saying she had a nice time and hope I got home ok. I text her back something similar and said something about hoping the kiss was worth getting wet from the rain to which she responded back definitely.

So we end up meeting again for drinks maybe a month or later. This time it was not a good date. She seemed a bit more standoffish and didn't really order additional drinks etc.. I was not having a good evening with her at all so I eventually ended the date. I figured she wasn't into me or something but to my surprise that same evening she texts me with "hey you seemed mad tonight" or something like that. I responded back saying I wasn't mad just disappointed, I said she was acting aloof etc.... She responded back with something along the lines of that she didn't mean to etc... we had some back and forth texts and she basically suggested we should see each other again which I agreed.

Ok so this is all like close to two years ago at this point... I have someone that I've been with for years so finding time for side play is difficult at times. Also the fact that her ex husband in a position of power I often thought pursuing this woman might be more trouble than its worth so I backed off

Several months later she texts me out of the blue saying hey its me I thought of you hope you are doing well. I responded and traded a few texts back and forth and that was it. Over the next year we both would randomly text each other but never made plans to see each other again.

So COVID hits.... we still text now and again but I basically used that as an excuse to why me moving by her got delayed. But anyway I was working near her this past April and the COVID situation was better with establishments being opened etc... Plus we both are vaccinated so I decide to make plans with her.

We met at this bar and had a few drinks, it was going well although there were some silent pauses I noticed she held eye contact with me for a few seconds even during some pauses. All in all we did have good conversation she did order an additional drink. At the end I walk with her to her car and I have her drive me to mine since I was parked in a different lot. I have her pull next to mine and I go in for the kiss..... well we start making out hardcore both of us not wanting to stop.... I was just letting my desire and sexuality take over with the kissing/carssing etc... I started kissing her neck too etc.... She started putting her hands under my shirt and rubbing my chest.... Eventually on her own she unzips my pants, caresses my nut sack and then proceeds to jerk me off while we are passionately making out..... Honestly that's one of my favorite things to do with a girl... make out while she strokes me.... it felt so good and I eventually blew my load all over hand and it got on my shirt lol

Well we end up departing and she texts me the next day saying she had a great time and that she usually doesn't hook up in parking lots but she was so caught up in the moment with me. I texted her back saying some nice crap too so she didn't feel like a slut and it was good. Then we both went silent for a bit but did the usual random texts weeks/months later.

So at this point I was back to the same dilemma... should I try to pursue banging her at least once or would it just be more trouble than it's worth given potential issues her or her ex could cause me. For example if she somehow I found out I am with someone I'd be toast! So I continue wavering back and forth and don't really text her much nor does she....

So like two weeks ago on a Friday I text her in the morning saying Happy Friday or something.... She usually always responds to my texts but this time did not.... So in the evening I texted something else "well hopefully it is lol" She then responded back pretty quickly saying "happy Friday (some emoji which she likes to use), I'm on vacation with my family" I responded back with "I wish I was on vacation lol" She didn't respond at all....

So I think maybe a week later which was last week I texted her something random like "sounds like you had a great summer" She did not respond at all....
So a few days later I texted her "hey you don't seem as talkative lately, I hope everything is ok" She did not respond


So that's where I am now.... Do I look at this as a victory getting that hand job experience from her and not getting in trouble? Maybe it's a blessing in disguise..... or should I try to find out why she suddenly ghosted? My guess is she probably started getting serious with some other guy who is in her area... should I try to find that out just for knowledge?

I keep going back and forth about this and it's bugging me.
 

RickTheToad

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I couldn't really think of what I wanted the appropriate title of this thread to be... I just know I need to write this out for myself as it's been randomly bugging me.

A few years ago I met this MILF off POF. She was like 38 at the time with two kids and divorced. Her ex husband cheated on her with someone he worked closely with. They tried counselling etc.. but ended up splitting where she has the house and I think he gets the kids every other weekend and maybe one day during the week? Another important thing to note is that her ex husband has a powerful societal position, I'll leave it at just that.

So anyway we met for drinks a few years ago and she was into me. Smiled big when she saw me, sat close, had multiple drinks etc... These are all signs I've found are IOIs in my dating experience. I had another date that same night with a girl I already hooked up with and liked more so I kind of ended this one short. I walked her to her car, it was raining but she let me kiss her, albeit a very short one which I stopped because it was raining.

-An important note to mention is I don't live near her but she was under the impression I was moving to her area.

Anyway she ends up texting me the same night saying she had a nice time and hope I got home ok. I text her back something similar and said something about hoping the kiss was worth getting wet from the rain to which she responded back definitely.

So we end up meeting again for drinks maybe a month or later. This time it was not a good date. She seemed a bit more standoffish and didn't really order additional drinks etc.. I was not having a good evening with her at all so I eventually ended the date. I figured she wasn't into me or something but to my surprise that same evening she texts me with "hey you seemed mad tonight" or something like that. I responded back saying I wasn't mad just disappointed, I said she was acting aloof etc.... She responded back with something along the lines of that she didn't mean to etc... we had some back and forth texts and she basically suggested we should see each other again which I agreed.

Ok so this is all like close to two years ago at this point... I have someone that I've been with for years so finding time for side play is difficult at times. Also the fact that her ex husband in a position of power I often thought pursuing this woman might be more trouble than its worth so I backed off

Several months later she texts me out of the blue saying hey its me I thought of you hope you are doing well. I responded and traded a few texts back and forth and that was it. Over the next year we both would randomly text each other but never made plans to see each other again.

So COVID hits.... we still text now and again but I basically used that as an excuse to why me moving by her got delayed. But anyway I was working near her this past April and the COVID situation was better with establishments being opened etc... Plus we both are vaccinated so I decide to make plans with her.

We met at this bar and had a few drinks, it was going well although there were some silent pauses I noticed she held eye contact with me for a few seconds even during some pauses. All in all we did have good conversation she did order an additional drink. At the end I walk with her to her car and I have her drive me to mine since I was parked in a different lot. I have her pull next to mine and I go in for the kiss..... well we start making out hardcore both of us not wanting to stop.... I was just letting my desire and sexuality take over with the kissing/carssing etc... I started kissing her neck too etc.... She started putting her hands under my shirt and rubbing my chest.... Eventually on her own she unzips my pants, caresses my nut sack and then proceeds to jerk me off while we are passionately making out..... Honestly that's one of my favorite things to do with a girl... make out while she strokes me.... it felt so good and I eventually blew my load all over hand and it got on my shirt lol

Well we end up departing and she texts me the next day saying she had a great time and that she usually doesn't hook up in parking lots but she was so caught up in the moment with me. I texted her back saying some nice crap too so she didn't feel like a slut and it was good. Then we both went silent for a bit but did the usual random texts weeks/months later.

So at this point I was back to the same dilemma... should I try to pursue banging her at least once or would it just be more trouble than it's worth given potential issues her or her ex could cause me. For example if she somehow I found out I am with someone I'd be toast! So I continue wavering back and forth and don't really text her much nor does she....

So like two weeks ago on a Friday I text her in the morning saying Happy Friday or something.... She usually always responds to my texts but this time did not.... So in the evening I texted something else "well hopefully it is lol" She then responded back pretty quickly saying "happy Friday (some emoji which she likes to use), I'm on vacation with my family" I responded back with "I wish I was on vacation lol" She didn't respond at all....

So I think maybe a week later which was last week I texted her something random like "sounds like you had a great summer" She did not respond at all....
So a few days later I texted her "hey you don't seem as talkative lately, I hope everything is ok" She did not respond


So that's where I am now.... Do I look at this as a victory getting that hand job experience from her and not getting in trouble? Maybe it's a blessing in disguise..... or should I try to find out why she suddenly ghosted? My guess is she probably started getting serious with some other guy who is in her area... should I try to find that out just for knowledge?

I keep going back and forth about this and it's bugging me.
I think you should aim hire and move on to a female who's younger and w/o kids.
 

Reyaj

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I think you should aim hire and move on to a female who's younger and w/o kids.
I have that already. I think attractive MILFS can make good side pieces.
 

Reyaj

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She was never a high score so don't trouble your mind with thinking about her. Case closed and shredded. Lose the number.
She gives me a hard on and has a great ass though lol
 

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spikeanut

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OP, what does trying to figure out why she ghosted you accomplish? Absolutely nothing. However, the more you text her trying to find out, the less chance you have of anything continuing with her later on. Count this plate as gone, but do as you've been over the past year, which is texting her randomly every few months. You got nothing to lose. However, do not text her as you've been lately; you come off as needy.
 

Reyaj

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OP, what does trying to figure out why she ghosted you accomplish? Absolutely nothing. However, the more you text her trying to find out, the less chance you have of anything continuing with her later on. Count this plate as gone, but do as you've been over the past year, which is texting her randomly every few months. You got nothing to lose. However, do not text her as you've been lately; you come off as needy.
I agree if I over text or come across needy it will ruin later chances. But on the other hand I was 50/50 on whether I wanted to pursue her anyway based on the risk. The fact that she ghosted is kind of a turn off. Part of me thinks trying to find out the reason she ghosted is more important than potentially having her later on.

Like I guess I always look at this game with women as a learning experience. My hypothesis is she found another guy or even a remote possibility she is back with her ex.

I guess I'm curious to be honest... Her IL in me was very high
 

Reyaj

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The more you look into it the less you will like what you find.
Yeah... imagine she says she found out I'm with someone.... Yeah that thought crosses my mind as well. I feel like she would have called me out on it though if she did, you never know though..
 

King Lion

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You're supposed to melt in her mouth - Not in her hands - .Just like M&Ms!

You blew it after "a 2 years and 2 dates" when you nutted in her hand!

Forget her and delete her number because she has deleted yours!
 

Reyaj

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You're supposed to melt in her mouth - Not in her hands - .Just like M&Ms!

You blew it after "a 2 years and 2 dates" when you nutted in her hand!

Forget her and delete her number because she has deleted yours!
Lol I actually had a chick ghost me after giving me a BJ many years ago. I'll post about it on my experiences thread when I get back to it.
 

mrskinnypantz

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she never had high interest it seems like.
sounds like she used you to get her mind off her husband who you say is ''powerful'' or important or w.e
plus he imprinted her by doin her the way he did, she is stuck tryna earn his validation. she wants to prove herself , or win the game
the second date was a red flag , the texting back and fourth for months... no no... never be a texting buddy to a girl
consider the hand - job a small victory, but it should have been a bl[]wjob for real.
 

Reyaj

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she never had high interest it seems like.
sounds like she used you to get her mind off her husband who you say is ''powerful'' or important or w.e
plus he imprinted her by doin her the way he did, she is stuck tryna earn his validation. she wants to prove herself , or win the game
the second date was a red flag , the texting back and fourth for months... no no... never be a texting buddy to a girl
consider the hand - job a small victory, but it should have been a bl[]wjob for real.
Her husband wanted to keep the marriage together, it sounds like she is the one that ultimately decided on the divorce. I do think I had a shot at a BJ that night if I pushed for it, but we were in a parking lot with cars around. The last time I got parking lot BJ was like 2017 but I made her park away from all cars.
 

Modern Man Advice

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I couldn't really think of what I wanted the appropriate title of this thread to be... I just know I need to write this out for myself as it's been randomly bugging me.

A few years ago I met this MILF off POF. She was like 38 at the time with two kids and divorced. Her ex husband cheated on her with someone he worked closely with. They tried counselling etc.. but ended up splitting where she has the house and I think he gets the kids every other weekend and maybe one day during the week? Another important thing to note is that her ex husband has a powerful societal position, I'll leave it at just that.

So anyway we met for drinks a few years ago and she was into me. Smiled big when she saw me, sat close, had multiple drinks etc... These are all signs I've found are IOIs in my dating experience. I had another date that same night with a girl I already hooked up with and liked more so I kind of ended this one short. I walked her to her car, it was raining but she let me kiss her, albeit a very short one which I stopped because it was raining.

-An important note to mention is I don't live near her but she was under the impression I was moving to her area.

Anyway she ends up texting me the same night saying she had a nice time and hope I got home ok. I text her back something similar and said something about hoping the kiss was worth getting wet from the rain to which she responded back definitely.

So we end up meeting again for drinks maybe a month or later. This time it was not a good date. She seemed a bit more standoffish and didn't really order additional drinks etc.. I was not having a good evening with her at all so I eventually ended the date. I figured she wasn't into me or something but to my surprise that same evening she texts me with "hey you seemed mad tonight" or something like that. I responded back saying I wasn't mad just disappointed, I said she was acting aloof etc.... She responded back with something along the lines of that she didn't mean to etc... we had some back and forth texts and she basically suggested we should see each other again which I agreed.

Ok so this is all like close to two years ago at this point... I have someone that I've been with for years so finding time for side play is difficult at times. Also the fact that her ex husband in a position of power I often thought pursuing this woman might be more trouble than its worth so I backed off

Several months later she texts me out of the blue saying hey its me I thought of you hope you are doing well. I responded and traded a few texts back and forth and that was it. Over the next year we both would randomly text each other but never made plans to see each other again.

So COVID hits.... we still text now and again but I basically used that as an excuse to why me moving by her got delayed. But anyway I was working near her this past April and the COVID situation was better with establishments being opened etc... Plus we both are vaccinated so I decide to make plans with her.

We met at this bar and had a few drinks, it was going well although there were some silent pauses I noticed she held eye contact with me for a few seconds even during some pauses. All in all we did have good conversation she did order an additional drink. At the end I walk with her to her car and I have her drive me to mine since I was parked in a different lot. I have her pull next to mine and I go in for the kiss..... well we start making out hardcore both of us not wanting to stop.... I was just letting my desire and sexuality take over with the kissing/carssing etc... I started kissing her neck too etc.... She started putting her hands under my shirt and rubbing my chest.... Eventually on her own she unzips my pants, caresses my nut sack and then proceeds to jerk me off while we are passionately making out..... Honestly that's one of my favorite things to do with a girl... make out while she strokes me.... it felt so good and I eventually blew my load all over hand and it got on my shirt lol

Well we end up departing and she texts me the next day saying she had a great time and that she usually doesn't hook up in parking lots but she was so caught up in the moment with me. I texted her back saying some nice crap too so she didn't feel like a slut and it was good. Then we both went silent for a bit but did the usual random texts weeks/months later.

So at this point I was back to the same dilemma... should I try to pursue banging her at least once or would it just be more trouble than it's worth given potential issues her or her ex could cause me. For example if she somehow I found out I am with someone I'd be toast! So I continue wavering back and forth and don't really text her much nor does she....

So like two weeks ago on a Friday I text her in the morning saying Happy Friday or something.... She usually always responds to my texts but this time did not.... So in the evening I texted something else "well hopefully it is lol" She then responded back pretty quickly saying "happy Friday (some emoji which she likes to use), I'm on vacation with my family" I responded back with "I wish I was on vacation lol" She didn't respond at all....

So I think maybe a week later which was last week I texted her something random like "sounds like you had a great summer" She did not respond at all....
So a few days later I texted her "hey you don't seem as talkative lately, I hope everything is ok" She did not respond


So that's where I am now.... Do I look at this as a victory getting that hand job experience from her and not getting in trouble? Maybe it's a blessing in disguise..... or should I try to find out why she suddenly ghosted? My guess is she probably started getting serious with some other guy who is in her area... should I try to find that out just for knowledge?

I keep going back and forth about this and it's bugging me.
Victory is subjective. Success is also subjective. It depends on your mindset and personal goals.

I, personally, wouldn't call this a victory. But that is because my standards are high. Getting a hand job from a divorced woman past her wall with two kids, its fun, not a victory.

The way I see it, it's actually a loss in my books. You spent a lot of time, energy, and resources (texting, driving, thinking, food/drinks) over a long period of time even though it was sporadic. All for a simple hand job and a kiss.

I expect much, much, much more after that. But again, you seem to have enjoyed the companionship and conversations. And at the end of the day, you learned a thing or two hopefully. So not a total loss.

As far as your texting. Never double text. NEVER. Also, never say things like "hope the kiss was worth getting wet from the rain". You just know its worth it, and she liked it, no doubt she enjoyed it, no need to ask or seek approval. Big no.

Hope that helps.

Modern Man Advice
 

mrskinnypantz

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Her husband wanted to keep the marriage together, it sounds like she is the one that ultimately decided on the divorce. I do think I had a shot at a BJ that night if I pushed for it, but we were in a parking lot with cars around. The last time I got parking lot BJ was like 2017 but I made her park away from all cars.
hmm confusing, something happened on that first night that changed her mind, its a mystery
 

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ubercat

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It's an interesting part of the game. Occasionally a girl gets to you who shouldn't. I don't know if it was the music or her smile or the hand job but what i do know is it is temporary and likely to be about you than about her. Don't bother chasing a distorted reflection.
 

jaymbrs

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She either caught on to you not moving near her and doesn't want a fling and/or you blowing your load was not a positive sign for her. Just my .02.
 

Reyaj

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Victory is subjective. Success is also subjective. It depends on your mindset and personal goals.

I, personally, wouldn't call this a victory. But that is because my standards are high. Getting a hand job from a divorced woman past her wall with two kids, its fun, not a victory.

The way I see it, it's actually a loss in my books. You spent a lot of time, energy, and resources (texting, driving, thinking, food/drinks) over a long period of time even though it was sporadic. All for a simple hand job and a kiss.

I expect much, much, much more after that. But again, you seem to have enjoyed the companionship and conversations. And at the end of the day, you learned a thing or two hopefully. So not a total loss.

As far as your texting. Never double text. NEVER. Also, never say things like "hope the kiss was worth getting wet from the rain". You just know its worth it, and she liked it, no doubt she enjoyed it, no need to ask or seek approval. Big no.

Hope that helps.

Modern Man Advice
I appreciate the post. Victory is definitely subjective.. I think I am going to call it a small victory though, probably more beneficial to put a positive spin on most things.

So for one, I absolutely love hand jobs... and I love when girls make out with you hard while they do it. Just the thought of kissing a girl while she strokes you is such a turn on. Plus you don't have to worry about STDs at all.... even with BJs you can get some, but hand jobs provide a clear mind frame.

I don't think I really spent that much time and energy on her.. like most of the girls I post about, the communication was very periodic. That was actually one of the things I loved about the situation, she was very low maintenance to maintain. I assumed it was because she was busy with her kids and their activities. But the situation seemed so ideal... even if we communicated months and months later she always seemed to have IL and was willing to meet up. So even though it may be a blessing she ghosted, it did kind of sting a little but also made me curious. My theory is she started getting serious with someone else who communicated with her more frequently... but who knows?

As far as the comments around her quality... being post wall etc... I'll say she definitely is attractive.. pretty face and a great ass... When we were hooking up in her car I put my hands down and grabbed her ass/pulled her thong... definitely gave me a hard on... Is she a 24 year old in her prime? No.. but that doesn't mean that older women can't still be attractive. Plus her husband was the one that cheated on her and ruined the marriage, that's really not her fault. It's kind of messed up that everyone wants to label single moms as low quality. She is a medical professional and works hard, I give her a lot of respect for that.

hmm confusing, something happened on that first night that changed her mind, its a mystery
I think you mean the last time when I got the hand job. She texted me spontaneously the next day saying she had a great time with me and was caught up in the moment. I think had I followed up with getting together again, I could have tapped it. I backed off though since I always worry I'd be toast if she found out I'm in a commitment with someone else. Months later I thought about that thong and ass of hers and caved and texted. It's really my bad for not following up and taking her IL for granted I guess.

It's an interesting part of the game. Occasionally a girl gets to you who shouldn't. I don't know if it was the music or her smile or the hand job but what i do know is it is temporary and likely to be about you than about her. Don't bother chasing a distorted reflection.
It's her cute face and nice ass I think lol You're right it is probably best to move on though. I was nervous about her finding out about me and I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

She either caught on to you not moving near her and doesn't want a fling and/or you blowing your load was not a positive sign for her. Just my .02.
Very possible she found out I wasn't moving near her... still she always seemed to respond even though its been years since I was supposed to. She most likely got involved with someone else right?

Here's the possible next moves I see:

1. Do nothing, take the small victory.
2. Text her again asking her if she is still alive
3. Text her again lying that I am moving to her area in a few weeks, see if I can get an AIR BNB and try and hit it.
4. Text her again saying it's mean to ghost, and even if she has a boyfriend we could always be friends
5. Text her again and tell her I'm not mad just curious why she hasn't responded etc...


I know the best move is to do nothing, and that's probably what I'll do. However for the sake of learning/curiosity would it be worthwhile to find out why she suddenly ghosted?
 

ubercat

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Haha asking for analysis from a female..you know better. She ll just make up whatever BS she thinks makes her look good. She doesn't care about your success.
 
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