It's my girlfriend of a year that I've been thinking of breaking up with.
Her: I changed my number.
Me: Ok.
Her: I've realized I can't be with you right now. You're too controlling.
(Insert: She's bad about flirting with other guys, I've called her on it. She has also gone out one on one with guy "friends" and I said that's unacceptable)
Me: Ok.
Her: That's all you have to say?
Me: I have standards. I'm not going to comprimise.
Her: Well we need a break to think about things. You're not going to have my number for a while.
Me: I didn't ask for it.
Her: This doesn't mean you can go see other girls.
Me: I'm single. I can do what I want.
Her: Well if it happens it happens but I don't want you to go look for someone.
mad props. now do exactly everything you said. Don't keep in contact with her and start playing the field again. I wouldn't suggest even considering getting back with her unless she begs you consistently for a good month or so.
(Insert: She's bad about flirting with other guys, I've called her on it. She has also gone out one on one with guy "friends" and I said that's unacceptable)
Her: This doesn't mean you can go see other girls.
Do not subscribe to The SoSuave Newsletter unless you are already a chick magnet!
The information in each issue of The SoSuave Newsletter is too powerful for most guys to handle. If you are an ordinary guy, it is not for you. It is meant for the elite few. Not the unwashed masses.
If you know you can handle it...
If you already have girls calling you at all hours of the day and night, showing up at your door, throwing themselves at you everywhere you go...
Then sign up below.
But if you're just an average Joe, an ordinary guy, no one special – then skip this. It is not for you.
She didn't change her number because of me. She had been talking about it for a while because she kept getting calls for some girl that had the phone number before her. I think she knew I was getting distant and tried to do a pre-emptive break to try to grab frame control. I am confident that by this time next week she will try to get back with me.
Her: I've realized I can't be with you right now. You're too controlling.
{snip} Her: Well we need a break to think about things. You're not going to have my number for a while.
Me: I didn't ask for it.
Her: This doesn't mean you can go see other girls.
Me: I'm single. I can do what I want.
Her: Well if it happens it happens but I don't want you to go look for someone. {snip}
I find it a bit amusing that you're supposed to be the controlling one yet that's all she did in the conversation. She can't see that she's the one doing it.
Projection at it's finest.
Get yourself a better woman. From your calm & logical conversation it's obvious you deserve a much better one that will appreciate those qualities you're working on. Good women appreciate a man who stands up for himself and they're quite high in demand due to how very rare they are. You'll be treated like a king.
quick, change your number tomorrow so she can't call you when she changes her mind.
do it.
i dare you!
cause it's hilarious and you know deep down that it's the right thing to do.
Penkitten, I thought of that RIGHT after she called. It would be hilarious but I'm not going to even bother giving her that much of my time.
I'm not going to lie. It feels....strange not talking to her. Sure, I'm going to go out and bang my brains out this week, but the quiet nights like tonight are the ones that are going to tough to get through. It's amazing how once you break up you forget all the bad times and remember the good, no matter how rare they were.
By the way you did fine. She was expecting you to beg and plead and explain yourself about how you're not really controlling (you probably aren't) and you need another chance etc which of course would not have worked. I have a feeling she will call you up in the near future asking for a 'reunion', especially if she finds out you have been looking at other chicks.
She was ok. Like I said, bad problem with flirting that she "doesn't know she is doing", and way back when we first started dating she went out as "friends" with a few guys. I told her both were unnacceptable. To the best of my knowledge she hasn't made any guy friends since. She also toned down the flirting big time, although occasionally made a few mistakes in that area.
When she said that I can't see other girls I figured this was not a real breakup but an attempted frame grab that I shut down. Also, her tone of voice was interesting. It started as though she had a life breakthrough by coming to the conclusion that she couldn't be with me. Then when I shut her down with "ok", I could tell she was blindsided.
I actually think that she could not believe that I was serious about the guy friend thing and that she was going to call my bluff. When she realised I wasn't backing down, worry set in with the not telling me to see other girls. I know this girl well....a real breakup from her would have been "I can't be with you. You're annoying. Goodbye". She tried to keep me on the line on this one, but I was the one that hung up.
Long term or short term relationships - the sh!t tests and frame grabs never stop. You're being probed for weakness. Stick with YOUR ideals. You may occasionally loose a girl but think of it as a filtering process. You just increased your value and broke her frame grab / bad behaviour. You may also have eliminated a head case. Stick to your guns and when she comes crawling back be even stricter.
very nicely done